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Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, guys, which is why we want to ask you: at this point in your life, which are you looking for—love or sex? And for those who are not here on Adam4Adam because of the former, why are you not looking for love? How come?
We are just curious, that’s why we are asking. We stumbled upon this thread and the most popular reasons gay men cited as to why they were not looking for love at that point of their life included, and we quote, “I’d like to get myself better established before I consider committing to anyone.”
Another guy responded with along the same lines, “I wanna get completely financially and emotionally secure first.” Further, he explained, “No point in going out with someone if I’m not happy with myself or where I’m at.”
This guy, however, has a different reason altogether. He confessed, “I have acne so I tend to not go looking for dudes while my face and back are covered in it. If I had clear skin then I’d look for love.”
Meanwhile, two other guys responded, “I’m not a love person, and I don’t want to lead anyone on,” while the other said, “I’m in a happily selfish phase in life.”
Anyway, whether you are looking for love or sex, then you surely are not alone. A study found, however, that online daters’ main goal on dating sites is to find love more than hookups. Further, the study added that the more motivated they are in their quest for love, the more inclined they are to meet their match face-to-face.
How true are the study’s findings for you, guys, though?
Are you here on Adam4Adam to find love, or are you the type who wants to stay single all your life and just have fun? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below. And don’t forget to enter our Giveaway on Instagram, to win $1000 of goodies from our Store!
I am looking for love because I want to be living together and sleeping in the same bed (actually sleeping) with intimacy snuggles and kisses cuddling while on the couch and watching TV and cooking together and just being with one another but until then friendships are what I have been embracing because they are a relationship
Single top hairy big cock put a ring on me
The same bed not that great. My husband and I have separate bedrooms in our 3,000+ sq. ft. home. I like to spread out and fart when ever I feel the need.
Sounds similar to what I want. The big question is where do you live?
I’ve always said, the best relationships I’ve ever had, have always been the numerous besties I’ve had even during high school; but much more intense after I came-out. One of my best friends even once said to his lover, “I don’t need ‘other’ best friends, I have Lamar.” We were everything to each other except lovers.
I od not see myself in a position for a relationship so it’s sex for now .
Say what?!!! Love ‘usually’ lasts longer, sex is quite fleeting, isn’t it? I’m an investor in love or I don’t invest, never more than these days and locale. Where I live, they’re mostly, HIV+, alcoholics, drugged-out, roided, incredibly narcissistic, shallow, awe, man, what?!!!! I think being gay, was better as a younger man, frankly, we seem to have dived to the bottom, but that’s Soflo.
And we all know HIV-positive people aren’t worthy or deserving of love.
That’s not what I’m saying or said. What I am saying, is that it’s one more aspect of gay life, that one has to avoid. Especially being that my whole experience in life as an African American, is avoiding being just another sad statistic, “John.”
Everything was better when you were younger. But you gotta make do with what you have….
That’s why I just masturbate, thanks “Clyde Benke.” but, I keep the doors open so to speak, just incase.
There’s a bit of stereotyping in what you say. If it was better when younger, perhaps it’s time to adjust and make life good again now. It’s rather insulting how you lump HIV+ people in with the the rest of the lot at the bottom of the pool. I’m 59 years old. I find just as many creeps my age as there are younger. It’s what we make it. You say sex is fleeting. I say so is love, in many instances. Five years later they may be sleeping together at night but they’re also online saying they are in… Read more »
I can only speak from experience, has nothing to do, “with what you find” Jake, it’s where I live, the region, Soflo, i.e., has the highest rate of infection, period, and having been here 2 decades from Minnesota, yeah, I see why. It’s not my fault if these dudes walk in lockstep with each other. I see more profiles down here, “not generous,” you know, Jake, I was told of this site in 00′ when I lived in Mpls, Minn . . . not once did I see such in a profile; frequently, now I see couples looking for a… Read more »
They’ve stereotyped themselves, actually, just giving-in, following the herd, falling into the lockstep, mentality. I’m just stepping back and looking at it. Why are there still guys being infected? Soflo, is # 1 in HIV infection, more so than all the other states combined.
Just a sex. Someone who has a mutual sexual connection. From there if it’s in the cards becomes friends with benifits for reoccurring play.
Not for a one time play, but continued connected play.
If your lucky maybe you’ll find love but for myself this is a sex site.
I’m at the point of my life that I’m actively only seeking a fuck doll.
Ideally I’d prefer someone who can hold a conversation, but since it’s rude to talk with your mouth full, even that’s negotiable.
Am seeking love and hot sex all the way from Jamaica with a beautiful fun loving guy out there patiently wait on the rite guy
Come to South Florida.
“Love or sex”. Isn’t that a highly simplistic view of men? Either we get Mr Monogamy/Prince Charming/the house with a white picket fence OR we just whore around tearing off our jocks and getting our rocks off?
Men are more than just these two boxes. Yes, some seeking monogamy. Yes some whores (and proud to be!). But most of the guys I’ve met are somewhere in between. They’re quality guys I get to friend as well as have sex with. Some for well over a decade. Others I miss who have moved away.
Some of us are looking for both?
Sex is a starter and sometimes leads to an extended relationship which, eventually, to love. Each should be noted as either separate or one is a precursor to the other.
Sex is between the legs or between the cheeks; Love is between the ears. Sex does not require Love and Love doesn’t always require sex.
Both are legitimate and both are necessary. It is the Journey that makes the former exciting and the latter binding.
Why can’t we love/care about more than one guy at a time? I have a handful of guys in my life that are “important.” None of us seem to want just “the one guy.” None of us want to live together. Over the years we’ve introduced each other. Some guys have come and gone on their own. Other guys we’ve just not invited back for fun because there just wasn’t “chemistry.”
Yes, there is great respect for people who want monogamy. But that’s not the only option.
I want BOTH but only with the same man. I mean sometimes you just want and need balls out long last sex. While other times and yes most of the time you both want to make love together. There is no rule that says you can’t enjoy both with the one man you love, you do not need others for the sex just the 2 of you.
Looking for Mr. Right, however I will work with Mr. RightNow! So I guess I want SEX. Yes!
“Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death”. I want and have both! Together for 28 years, legally married for 9 years and we still have sex 3-4 times a week. He is one of the best fucks I ever had (I know, I’ve had 7-8 thousand different guys to fuck) He’s totally devoted to me, takes me all over the world in business class and hotel suite comfort, even loves to cook for me. Hot and smart too. Holds a Ph.D from Imperial Collage in London. Banks big money. I am a lucky man. I… Read more »
I did the whole love/relationship thing when I was younger, but in more recent times I have found that men in this modern culture seem to have difficulty keeping dates. A relationship is impossible to develop if one of the parties isn’t invested in showing up. It’s been over 20 years since I have been in a relationship, and I’ve become used to living life independently, on my terms, with few compromises. Sex satisfies my basic human requirements without the relationship drama. I’m good with that.
I love anal sex
So do I,,,I love it when a very man!y dominating top take me from the back,,,it’s a wonderful feeling to have anutha man inside you and it makes me feel good to know that he could be inside of a woman but he chooses to be inside me,,,,DICK s a wonderful thing,,
Love would be great, been a widower for 8 years now and I hear a second love is almost impossible
seeking a friend with bennies love doesnt allways involve sex and sex is needed
I really want a friend with benefits. Which I guess is basically sex. Because I hate hookups and one night stands. I want a man who I see regularly and get to know and care about. That’s the only type of relationships I’ve ever had, so it’s all I know. Love is an ideal concept. But I don’t think its something one can just go find. It has to develop and grow which comes from getting to know and care about somebody. I’m open to love and believe I’d be happy in love.
Both would be nice.
I am looking for sex! I see A4A as a hookup site. I do see guys on here looking for a relationship but not me! I just enjoy sex with men; enjoying their body, etc.
I am seeking a close friendship, eventually with benefits.
Love, but I’m sure this isn’t the place to find it.
A bromance keeps me going back for more. If a relationship stands the test of time, love is an option, or at least a calculated risk. You have to get to know someone very well give your heart to them
I am looking for both really.Although I livein Rabun county,GA. Hard to find someone to connect with.Maybe a Luver,partner.I am very lonely?? I am looking for a fried ,luver,partner??? Maybe someone is interested and would like to help me???
I want to be dominated by a group of bbc. Force every cock bareback then make ride the biggest cock riding it hard then lean me forward and force me to take another stretching me wide them fuck the cum out of me. I would like to be film taking my fist bbc and bbc group
I’m looking for love. Why? Because forming an intimate and romantic connection with another person is a basic human desire. I need companionship in my life, I need romance, I am sick of doing everything alone!
I would love to have a steady sex buddy,, I’m also still into women,,well I have a woman,, I’m a closet bi bottom,,,,I would love to have a steady top that I can trust and I know that is STD free,,I have never experienced raw anal and I really want to feel what it’s like to feel Anutha man raw flesh inside me and I want to feel what it’s like to have Anutha mans cum inside me,,,so a good top that is only fucking me would be great for me
I’m just looking for sex don’t want a relationship like to play with others and sometimes more than one person at a time
Love or Sex? I didn’t realize they were mutually exclusive except on some sites, ahem, where pick up is the end game. Love is caring about someone even if it will be just a one time thing in bed. Sex is about intimacy and showing your inner self to a person in bed. It’s hard to maintain civilization cool when you are on your back panting or pushing as hard as you can. So, if love is about caring, no matter how long together, and sex is about exposing yourself to another who cares, how are they mutually exclusive? They… Read more »
What?!!! “Love,” is about caring-loving each other’s inner-being. “Love,” is being able to compromise, respect each other, give of yourselves to each other, sharing, etc. “Sex” is exclusive, has nothing to do with inner self as much as it has to do with “physical desires as it pertains today’s “hook-up” sites. Otherwise, the kind of sex that has to do with the quality of having fallen in love then the sex becomes “making love” like the movie of the 80’s hit? The “onetime thing” is just a really good, mutually satisfying pick-up, it can turn into love I think, but… Read more »
Just sex. I have had 3 relationships over the past 40 years. I soon grew bored, and started to cheat. Now I just do friends with benefits.
Boyfriends are like boats. I’d rather take a right ride on someone else’s once in awhile, and spare myself the time, money, and work that one of my own would require.
I have been on A4A for a while,,,,a long while,,,,,and am looking for love and friendship but am mhaving no luck,,,,,,perhaps there could be a A4A site geared just for ltr and friend seekers,,,,,
you can search for guys looking for ltr with the search feature 🙂
Is it free?
So times you just need a good old fashioned blow job and fuck. It helps with stress. Ot suck some cock or both. Especially if it’s at the end of a long day. It can help you sleep.
im looking for love and companionship
If it has tires, tiles, or testosterone, it’s gonna break your heart at some point.
[…] of us are searching for love, others, for sex, either way we’d like to wish you luck. And we sincerely hope you’ll find the one for you, just […]
I am attached, so only interested in nsafe, nsa sex. Bi bottom here!
Love would be great (as long as it comes with a duplex with a white picket fence and a gloryhole in the broom closet) and an orphaned only child CEO husband who travels a lot and doesn’t ask annoying questions like “Why are we paying for pool service when we don’t have a pool?’ would be nice. So honestly, I guess, sex.
Just sex, I love feeling a nice cock get hard in my mouth. I love it when I feel them cum inside me and get to taste it… I have regulars and not relationships