Do you have a minimum or maximum age requirement or age preference for dating partners or casual hookups? Would this preference change if you are considering a serious relationship or if you’d want this person as your life partner?
We are asking because one of our Adam4Adam blog readers wants to hear what you think about the matter. We did a little digging and Psychology Today says there’s a mathematical equation for finding out the “minimum and maximum socially acceptable age of anyone you want to date.”
It’s the first time I’ve heard of this “age rule” but the article says that the minimum is half of your age plus seven. To get the maximum age on the other hand, you’ll have to subtract seven from your age and then double the number you’ll get. This means that if you are for example, 36 years old, simply divide that number by two and then add seven; according to the aforementioned equation, you’ll get 25 at the minimum and 58 at the maximum. They added that with this equation, someone who is 24 years old can “feel free to be with anyone who is at least 19 (12 + 7) but not someone who is 18.”
Do people follow this “rule?” Maybe, maybe not; what we do know for certain is that there are gay couples who have huge age differences between them but they went ahead and got married anyway. We all, of course, have heard about Tom Daley who married Dustin Lance Black; the couple has a 20-year age gap between them. Then, there’s British actor Stephen Fry and his husband Elliot Spencer who is 30 years his junior, and the late Pennsylvania Senator Harris Wofford who married Matthew Charlton—a man 50 years his junior.
My personal take is this: are both parties adults, of legal age? If so, granted the two of you are both willing, why not give that relationship a try? Life is, after all, too short for us to care about what other people—most of whom we don’t know and don’t even know us—think. But that’s just me; what do you think? Let us know in the comments section below.
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Huge age gaps to me are disgusting. It’s so obvious that the younger one is only in it for the money, and the older one is , well let’s just face it : a dirty old man!
Eh. Straights do it too. Who can forget Anna Nicole Smith and her 80-something oil millionaire beau. Lots of gold digging going around.
Another bitter soul in this site! Age is just a number Dude.
… Yeah, just like weight is just a number! LOL
Ozzie There’s no such thing as that at all
This is simply your “opinion”…who are you to judge?
So he shouldn’t have an opinion if he disagrees?
Quit dismissing “judgments” as merely “your opinions”. Intelligent, reasonable people may observe the facts and correctly infer a valid conclusion and express it as a judgment, which is also an opinion but something also more than just an opinion. Stupid, ignorant, unreasonable, clueless people may run off at the mouth and make what you are determining as a “judgment” but which is truly “just” an opinion, a stupid opinion. Informed, educated, experiences people have earned the privilege of making judgments. Indeed, those such people are the ones who provide the framework of an acceptable, functioning, livable civil society. All that… Read more »
David, I so agree with you. It’s gross as hell!
David, maybe you are the “disgusting” one to pass YOUR judgment upon another couple when you know nothing about them or very little. If you pass this sort of judgment upon people what else to you pass judgment on? I would suggest you go look in the mirror because maybe the age gap couple would pass judgment upon you. Maybe instead just celebrate peoples happiness rather than tear it down because it doesn’t fit “your world.” The problem with gay men is they are very judgemental and i find the ones that are are the most miserable in the bunch… Read more »
Leave David alone! He’s got a point there!
Amen bro ! Well said.
Dalton, add something kind and constructive to the conversation instead of harshness. Yes, we should be happy for people whose relationships are working ( and not just lipstick jobs in public). If you are convinced that David’s view is incorrect, then add some positive light on how your life experience has been different. It’s a more constructive way to have meaningful dialogue. Online today, harshness and berating someone has become acceptable behavior hidden behind a screen. What would you say to David if he were sitting across from you over a meal? We’re in a new age; post-covid. Time for… Read more »
Do you realize that what you say is actually revealing what YOUR motivation would be? It does not describe anyone but yourself.
What a sad commentary from someone who is miserable. The definition of a miserable person is wretchedly unhappy or uncomfortable.
That is pretty spot on of David, don’t you think?
When a person is miserable, they never see or expect the good in anything and always try to make those around them feel just as bad and negative as them. Being miserable is a way of life for some people because they get sympathy, constant reassurance from other miserable people and a sense of self, defined by whatever circumstance they find themselves in.
Get a life dude!
Misery can be an addiction that people use like any other compulsion, to excuse people from change in their lives. Change that would help them find some happiness. It’s easier ( and lazy) to wallow in misery and try to find company, than to look for positive things that would make us better, happier people. Perhaps some don’t feel they deserve to be happy?
Yes yes you are so right. I am 53 and my partner is 81. I have the money. Been together almost 20 years.
Alex, good for you guys! Congrats!
Stop supporting that, that’s not grown, that’s gross!
What does a 81 year old want with a 53 year old? That is sick!
Wow your shallow, narcissistic, judgmental and immature …such quality.
It’s neither for you nor anyone else to define a relationship. My ( our) “gap” is 15 years, but I’m not about to let ANYONE tell me I can’t have a good relationship because of that number alone.
You should try dirtiness David. . . . it might make you a happier person.
Your opinion that it’s disgusting is fine as an opinion however, your assumption that the younger ones are in it for money is just that, an assumption. I was attracted to very old men before I ever knew what money was. I couldn’t have been more then five years old when I began fantasizing about sex with old men. Those fantasies carried through into adulthood and I, now in my 60’s, have had sex with 18 and 19 year olds. They weren’t in it for money, they were attracted to old men, just like I was. It’s all a matter… Read more »
Get a 60 something year old, leave those young guys alone
That can be true but not always the case. There can be a real sense of Caring and love between people of different age groups. It is not just about sexual encounters between different generations although that does not have to be considered gross either . If the relationship is primarily based upon financial reasons = could be trouble, if the relationship is forced because of financial reasons, that could easily result in resentment and blow up. I don’t have a problem with somebody younger than me wanting to be together because we understand each other but not because we… Read more »
We all just like young dick and if we can afford these young boys for our mate… why not !
I dont mind sharing my riches with some cute honey..
Haha! I’m not dating someone 90. How about I just divide my age by 2? (Older celebs only get really young guys because they’re rich. If they were nobodies who lived in a trailer park they’d be SOL.)
Age is a number. Love is where you find it. And the same applies to other groups outside of Gay/Bisexual Men and Trans because we are all human. We all want love and to be accepted by someone. I pray we are open to finding it and all that it can be for making us feel alive.
Very well said. 🙂
Those equations for max age stop making sense the older you get. For example, a guy who is 57 yrs old can date a 100 yr old? My personal rules are don’t date someone young enough to be my son, or old enough to be my dad. So basically my age +/- 18 yrs.
For me I look for guys over 30 and under 65. i have always been with men that were older. just worked out that way. if I am old enough to be their father, they are too young for me.
but those are YOUR desire for your own personal self to pass judgment upon your age gap rule, it is not for others. Be happy for those that are married, age means nothing.
It’s not “just a number” either
I have (unfortunately?) often been attracted to guys who were young enough to be my son. Where I live, however, it’s practically irrelevant. Gays older than 29 seem to leave the area. Hurray for South Carolina.
Why don’t you find guys your age instead of going out with your son’s age
Hmm, I just want someone whom has a mature kind of character, but like me has a kind of youthful energy, usually no younger than say 40, being that I’m practically on the door step fo 60 . If he’s older, not more than mid 60’s, especially, still, maintaining that certain something exciting + some good energy.
That makes sense Lamar and seems fair. If you happen to go younger or older, its your choice and no one can its right or wrong
What a stupid concept! That math doesn’t work AT ALL at age 60!
BTW, what happened to web sites for “gay men”? Why do all the other alternatives keep getting shoved into our world?
That kind of bothers me too at times. Especially bi men. I have some personal issues with the way that most bisexual men live their lives in a “straight” world (only are seen with a woman strapped to their arm), yet reap the benefits of hot man-on-man sex behind closeted doors. All the while, us out gay men have to live with the stereotypes, harassments, and discriminations the straight world throws upon us. I hear what you’re saying here.
What an asinine comment. I’m bi. I dumped men entirely in 1982 because they were literally fucking themselves to death. So, I survived. I poke around in the “scene” now and find a bunch of judgemental millenials who never lifted a finger to get the rights they have now. We fought for them back on my day and have the scars to show for it. Please, just STFU.
exactly right, nomofome. i never even looked at a much younger man for sex or as real partner. what does someone who is 18 yrs younger have in common with me. i graduated high school the yr my most recent ex was born. i lived in the time of a real war against gays & lesbians. i will never forget watching the news when i was 12. i saw & heard jerry falwell & anita bryant say they thought that it was a good thing that gay men & lesbians should be executed due to all the stereo types that… Read more »
Adam, to your point about gold digging, I think there is a whole psychosis behind the daddy/son thing. I fell into it for awhile. I now realize that the son has generally had father issues and control issues, the daddy has issues with who he wasn’t when he was young — both are forever trapped in their earlier life views or wounds. I had to learn the hard way with a beautiful, cute young, hot gay bf who absolutely broke my heart when he left for a daddy with more money. It took a lot of reflection afterward to realize… Read more »
Doug, some very perspicacious observations. Age is not “just a number” although it could and can be. There are a lot of factors which apply. For example, take a 30-year age gap between a man 70 and a lover 40. Further consider general health considerations, many of which start evidencing themselves in one’s 40s. Consider one’s genetics (looking old even as a teenager with white hair with no positive feedback on attractiveness and conversely now with genetic blessing of looking 30 years younger than one’s current age. Presumably the goal is a LTR. In 20 years, the 70-year old may… Read more »
Sounds like somebody is jealous of the bisexuals!
Michael you chose to be out totally. You can’t be upset with a Bi guys for how they live their life. Its their decision just as your decision is YOURS
Michael, I can relate to what you said here. I was a married, bi guy who did exactly what you said here. Grew up in a highly religious, rural, conservative community. A very harsh, judgmental area. Fear ruled your life. I married and had kids, all the while having a guy friend on the side. Later I came out and established my true narrative. I’m so much happier now that I have some honesty and integrity in my life. Most married bi guys are not villains. They feel trapped. Be patient. As humans, we all evolve on different timelines. Doesn’t… Read more »
It may be one thing for gay and bi men … they are both about men who have sex with other men. But let’s not clump trans in the same category. They have different challenges, and concerns, and face a different kind of bigotry. They are entitled to their own site, and should not have their concerns overshadowed by those of gay and bi men.
Eric did he ask for assistance in what we thought of his concept. He didn’t have a mathematical concept. He said usually not under 40 and for reasons I totally understand. No one over mid 60’s. You seem a little bitter. You want a hug?
I think age matters as much with gay couples as it does with straight couples. If the spark or chemistry is there, age does not matter. I have met many couples with wide age ranges. I have a son who is married to a women 10 yrs old than he, and a daughter who’s husband is 10 years younger than she is. If it works, it works.
I’m in an open relationship, so I’m not looking for romance but NSA fun. Generally speaking, I go for guys who are 10 years up or below my age (I’m 50), since I enjoy the connection with a guy who’s in a similar situation to mine, and we can share stories and perspectives (besides great sex.) But when I started visiting this and other hook up sites, I got hit by guys as young as early or mid 20’s, which was a surprise for me. At first I just ignored them, or politely decline, until I decided to ask some… Read more »
You did hit the nail on the head with me in your assessment. I agree that men around your age (10+- years) is a good bet to go. I am also in an open relationship. I have found that with that theory (I will hardly ever play with a guy younger than say 35), I do have more in common at a mature conversational level with men within that age span (I sometimes play with guys over 65, as well and they are mature intellectually and have some great advice for me at times). However, age is all a preference… Read more »
You’re right that it depends on your relationship with yourself. It’s a cliche, but true, that you cannot get what you’re not aware of, and by understanding yourself you’re already getting what you need. Communication is much more easy when you know yourself better. And all this translates in bed… (my name is my A4A screen name)
Age is just a number. my partner/husband and I are 10 years apart in age.
Shyguyinwwa That’s age-appropriate right there
This is a serious question I would appreciate feedback on….. What is the purpose of having a relationship with a man but its OPEN? The only thing I ever came up with is since men are very promiscuous you won’t feel as though you’re being cheated on or get hurt.
Exactly! Why tell somebody you want to be with them……but have to have sex with others?
Michael, I can relate to what you are saying about age span. I had a bf who was 25 years younger. We had crazy sex for a couple of years. I loved his youthfulness. I was never in better shape (because of him) and found joy in a lot of things with him. Over time, I found that all he could talk about was cell phones, tunes, jeans, American Idol, and other trivial stuff. When we’d sit over a meal, I’d want to talk about a news story of the day, social issues, political issues, etc. He never wanted to.… Read more »
I can agree with ethical as I’m all about exploring NSA and I can have a great time sexually with men from all of the age groups for mutual pleasure
Yup, when the young ones are done, they zip up their pants and leave to play more computer games. They don’t even have a need for real connection. I know that’s generalizing, so fair in all situations.
“Dating: Does Age Gap Matter to Gay/Bisexual Men and Trans?” What would sexual orientation have to do with it? What about Q’s? Straights? Age is an issue only to people who are hung up on it … mostly due to their own fear of aging, or their inability to grasp the concept of their own mortality, or their belief that younger men are somehow more beautiful, more sexy, than older men. Some younger guys actively seek older guys believing they are more patient and experienced when it comes to sex and relationships where their peers are immature. But then again… Read more »
HUNTER0500: As you have already read, Nathan fell in love with his CO (Douglas) during the War. I was 20 and he was 38; it was “Love-at-first-sight” for me; for him, it was a dangerous Love. He took me, everywhere, he could and I went, everywhere,” I could. But, he had Rank; Wife and Children; I had youth; beauty and Naivety. The realities were blatant and inaccessible. God put him in-the-ground, and I stood above-the-ground. Today, I am just 73 and he would be, now, 91. The age difference would not have mattered as I would have spend the rest… Read more »
You don’t think it’s odd for somebody to have graduated high school for 2 years BEFORE you were even born to be together? Not knocking it, but what would y’all have in common?
You could have a better word than TRUMP’s…lol. I totally agree with you its whats inside those heads & bodies and not the number of years they’ve been on this earth. I’ve had a guy that was 18 but very mature & respectful and older guys who just loser wanting all of what you have. Don’t let the number get in the way of happiness and pleasure.
I prefer men that are at least 10 to 20 years older than I am. It has nothing to do with money. I actually like men that look more mature. I like wrinkles, and gray/white hair. I like body hair, and facial hair. I don’t worry about muscle tone. I don’t have an explanation for why I like what I like, and I shouldn’t need one.
Who cares about “socially Acceptable” age. For myself, I prefer someone in the age range of
30-55… of course this isn’t a deal breaker, I will and have dated/hookup with younger guys.
Just because someone is younger does not mean he is into it for the money. Just as a much older guy is not a “Dirty old man”
It all boils down to chemistry/connection that we have with individuals.
Society need tostop trying to put Ppl in small boxes to fit into out beliefs… ok, Hello.. goodbye, lol.
Remember, this article isn’t about whether anyone wants to date a someone at those age extremes or whether you personally find it OK/not OK. It is discussing societal “acceptance” of those age differentials.
How can you discuss “acceptance” if you’re not wanting the public to give their opinion on the topic?
That’s like saying, “you can participate in this topic ONLY if you agree with it”.
My husband is 40 years younger. We get along great. I live in the US and he lives in Mexico.
I’m sure plenty of men, older and younger think you’re gross too. Ugly on the inside shows through.
Why is Joe-Dante “ugly on the inside” for having his opinion of a topic that you also have your opinion on?
Shut up southernboisb. Joe-Dante does not have an opinion. He’s being a little b!tch and deserves the comments he is getting. Quit trying to be the defender of free speech. It’s annoying.
WHY should I shut up? J-D DOES NOT think a 40 year age difference is a good thing.
“Quit trying to be the defender of free speech. It’s annoying.”
It’s sad how you’re trying to SILENCE free speech just because you disagree with him on the topic.
As I said, responses like yours that PROVES that these articles CAN NOT have a discussion on the topic with those that disagree to the subject matter.
One person’s opinion is not necessarily as good as another’s opinion. The world is full of stupid, ignorant, illogical, mean-spirited, vicious, clueless, unthinking, etc., people who under the principle of free speech get to have their say. However, just because one has the right of free speech does not mean that their stupid, ignorant, illogical, mean-spirited, vicious, clueless, unthinking, etc., opinion need be given any dignity, respect, support, or approbation of any kind, and such opinions need to be criticized by the intelligent members of the community, so that others learn that opinions have no automatic right to equality of… Read more »
FYI, I’m anything but a “little bitch*, at least I’m being real about it!
Not ugly at all
Having rules about who you will date is immature, childish and unfortunate. It is so hard to find love, a good relationship, that you have to be very open-minded. Age is only a number and an attitude.
Correction, age matters
Okay, explain it to us that don’t grasp the concept. For me, personally, WHAT do you have in common (other than you’re gay)?
For example, when I was growing up, we had records, that switched to tapes, that switched to cd’s, that are now MP3’s. Imagine trying to describe to somebody what an Atari gaming system was. How about watching Captain Kangaroo?
I didn’t know about this “rule” but unknowingly adhere to it on my own. Perhaps because I’m a father but increasingly because of the generational gap. So for me, while I am flatteted when a younger guy hits on me, I’ve never seriously considered them a viable option for dating or sex. That said, if I was compatible with a guy who happened to be younger then that could change. Just don’t see it happening. An added note. All the presumptions (money, vanity) I’m seeing as to the nature of those who do not follow this rule are sad. Attraction… Read more »
I’m younger and only into older guys. People who says is all about money, they are totally wrong. Mostly of them can be, but there are guys like me out there that are really attracted to older guys. I can be next to a naked young guy and it wouldn’t turn me on, while I can be next to an older guy all dressed and I would be turned on. Also, don’t ask why we are attracted to older guys, it is like asking why you are attracted to men and not women. Or why you like steak and not… Read more »
You need to get with guys that are more age-appropriate instead of guys old enough to be your dad
I may be the exception, but I can speak from personal experience that an 18 year difference did not matter at all. 2 of my ex’s we that much older than me and they both were the best relationships I have had to date. I had to convince them both to go out with me in the first place due to the difference both both were glad they did. As far as the money goes, I made twice as much as either on of them did so to put the record straight, no pun intended, It was for love and… Read more »
Hell yes it matters. Just wait til you’re close to 60 and watch your dating life fall off to little or nothing.
Really, LOL, Im 66 and im still hott as fuck, I get hit on from all over the world everyday, ive been on the popular page, 1st position on A4A in AZ for 5 years or more, Butt i am the exception, not the rule. I even advise these guys HOW TO GET HIT ON AND LAID, Just stroll through the pics and you will see Why.. My pics are the hottest And I change them almost daily… thanks dell in Phx Az
Same, here. I am 60 and have a lot of men, both young and old, that want to have sex with me. If you take care of your body, guys will be attracted to you at any age. The problem is many of these guys, both young and old, are grossly overweight.
Libertarian Queer There you go!
No. Age is NOT just a number. And I’m tired of hearing people say that. Age is a marker for how long you have been on this earth, living, learning, experiencing life. Your life experiences made you who you are today. Someone who is older has had many more life experiences. In a “relationship” with such huge age gaps, what common interests do the two share? What can they talk about? The weather?
It’s been my experience the last several years is that young one’s usually under the age of 35 only want someone older to get what they can either materialistic or financial. There was on 30yo on this site from Wichita (I am nowhere near Kansas) who hounded me for money, clothes, and jewelry for a week before I blocked him. It seems that the younger generation simply are out for any gain they can get their hands on.
my doctor told me that I have Lolita syndrome jejeje 😀
Me too Juan, it’s a chronic condition that grows worse with age
I totally agree with you, Bob.
While preferences steer us in certain directions, it’s the chemistry that makes it work.
Besides, some men mature early & seek mature partners and others remain immature.
Open minded men don’t care about the math…
For many, first experiences bring a predisposition of lifetime behaviors that can lead to being either a top or bottom; promiscuous or committed; racial or age preferences, etc.. My (only) two relationships were with younger men whose youth left them with no or poor male role models, and I have a mentoring personality. So my first experiences were with younger men, and they sought older men. Nothing creepy, manipulative or calculating, just people seeking comfort and life taking its course. When the rare occasion arose to invite a third to bed both age groups were entertained, so it’s not an… Read more »
Honestly, this is a silly post. For a life partner, you should be somewhat close in age; how can you have a life together if one of you might end up like the “late senator Wofford”? It’s different for sex- I had no idea that so many younger guys actively seek out older ones. And, as an older guy, it’s a blast to be with a younger guy, to trade experiences in the same time and place from totally different perspectives. Don’t rule out spending time with guys not in your age bracket, there is so much fun to be… Read more »
Oh hell yeah I have an age limit. I am 53 and prefer men close to my age, 40-55. When I was in my late 30’s and early 40’s, I did date a younger guys in their 20’s. It is flattering that a younger man would be interested in you, but, they are in completely different stages of life that sometimes it is tough to communicate. Plus, every younger man I dated was too self-centered, it was all about satisfying them. Well, what about me? I loft their apartment dissatisfied everytime. I like to be satisfied as much as I… Read more »
Yea I’d do it for the money cuz I’m personally not attracted to older older men like my dads or Grandads ages. My bestie did it because there poor guy didn’t have anyone, and sure enough he left use everything. My bestie the houses, cars n majority of money, but he left me set also cuz he considered me family, and we indulged him…I kinda of had my doubts and wasn’t expecting it to happen but the ol geezer kept his word but surprised us with the actual amount, we both had imagined a much lower amount.
I am 21 years old; and I am currently dating a man who’s a year older than my father. So what?
Date your own age, not your dad’s age
Date whoever you’re attracted to!
Hey Dante, stop trying to force your own warped opinions on everyone else. The last guy to have sex with me was 18. I’m 62. It was mutually enjoyable to both of us. When I was in my 40s, I was in a relationship with a man in his 80s. It’s not uncommon. What should be uncommon is your bigotry and hatred.
What I’m saying is NOT an “opinion”, it’s pretty much a true fact. You’re just with that old man for his money anyway!
There are a lot of instances where that is true, but many where it’s not. It’s more about a meeting of the minds than anything else. If a young guy is looking for a sugar daddy and a sugar daddy is looking for a sugar baby, of course money will play a major part in the relationship, yet I know of many couples who have a significant age gap simply because one or the other simply wasn’t that into guys their own age for whatever reason. These guys went on to build a good life together and are doing well… Read more »
As a double doctor of various branches of Psychology, Psychology Today doesn’t know what it’s talking about most of the time and certainly not on this topic. I appreciate the author’s openness to possibilities.
My bf is 24, I’m 59. Met in here. After a year and a half, it’s going well. Think it depends more on the people in the relationship than an equation. And, if you live your life worrying about what other people think, well, you’ll have a rich therapist…
You’re 59 years old, get a 50 year old!
Personally I prefer not to date anyone that is more than 10 years older than me or 12 years younger than me, considering I am 40 years old. I have a son who is 22 and turning 23 and September and I wouldn’t be comfortable dating someone and his age group. Additionally I don’t see myself attracted two men that are considerably older than me, more than 10 years difference. But that’s just my personal preference and opinion! No disrespect intended to any particular age group.
My minimum age limit is 25. The reason is because I don’t trust that men who say they are younger are telling the truth. Plus, I am not attracted to men younger than that age. My maximum age limit is, in and around, 73. Now the age calculation wouldn’t work so much for men my age when it comes to max age…that would put a guy at 90. I agree with the writer of this blog. Guys of adult age can choose to date, marry, hook-up with, any guy of any adult age to which they are attracted. There is… Read more »
Hell yeah! Nobody wants to see some 60 year old with a 45 year old, that’s disgusting! Age does matter, always have and always will
Your numerous posts of “gross” are making me worry about you. Why does anything other than love matter. If two adults are in Love, good for them. Jo Jo if you are still single, maybe a therapist could help you find a way to contribute, rather than denigrate, your community. Also, it may stop you from getting what you certainly deserve.
Adults don’t date or fuck people half their age. That’s called morals, class, and self-respect, and I believe I have all of them. So cut the crap and tighten your trap, thank your ass very much!
If you don’t want to see it, DON’T LOOK!
Whatever! If you think that “age doesn’t matter”, neither do you! So you can just kiss my ass!
I’m 39 and I have 3 sex partners and they’re all married daddies in their late 50’s and they all refer to me as their boy. I guess we all have a type.
Hell yeah! Age totally matters! I mean, a 60 year old and a 45 year old together? That’s disgusting! So to everybody in the whole world, date your own age, not half your age, thank you.
Your psychiatrist just called to say that he has increased your medication dosage.
YEAH RIGHT, I Get hit on, And Laid by guys 1/3 My age ALL the Time, Its not about the age Its about what shape WE are in, im 66 And im in Incredible shape, Ok im HOTT as fuck. lol
Dale Ferguson on that one. Stop sleeping with guys half your age and hook up with guys that are way more age-appropriate.
Thumbs down on that one. Stop sleeping with guys half your age and hook up with guys that are way more age-appropriate.
Your correct. Age is only a number. Mutual attraction,shape, looks all play a role in who we desire to have sex with. I’m 69, great shape and have enjoyed men in their 40″s to 90,and mutually enjoyed with explosive sex. As I see it, enjoy what ever age as both consenting adults.
For me… it’s weird to have a 50-60 year old man hit on me and when I say I’m not interested be called an ageist and have so much attitude thrown my way. I have no ill will towards a man that’s old enough to be my father but no… I don’t want to fuck you. Sorry? The attitude is just insane that I’ve encountered lol
Lots of judgemental comments here. When I was younger, I really missed out on having found a partner because I believed this bullshit about not dating “a troll.” For the longest time I had a fantasy about the “perfect husband” who was a doctor or lawyer and exactly my age, social standing, etc. I believed this myth for too long and missed out on a lot of possibilities. It wasn’t until I was a little older myself and younger guys started to take a serious interest in me…not for money because of who I am. Now I have a wonderful… Read more »
I am sixty and have a younger fuck buddy (forty-seven). We are pushing up against the reality of me being too old for him (in terms of looks and stamina). When I was about fifty, I dated a guy who was twenty-four, and there the problem was the awkwardness of the public perception of our relationship. (Other problems included a generation gap regarding technology, safe sex, and drug use.) I know two age-discordant gay married couples where the younger partners are caregivers for the older partners, and I have a friend my age who is entering into a relationship with… Read more »
There are at least two things in play in this question: Love is where you find it; play is where you find it; and the two are not the same thing. On the love question, there is one calculation which I think should be done regarding the age gap: consider the expected mortalities. If one is older, say 70, and has a love relationship with a 40 year-old, in what circumstances will the 40 year-old be when the older dude croaks? If they have 25 years together—hopefully not marred by lingering illnesses—the 40 year-old would be “starting over” at 65… Read more »
I’m in my 50s but I still feel like 27…Well, most of the time. For me, it’s just a fact that younger guys are hotter, so if they are into me, then I say bring it on! As far as young guys who are in it for the money, the best advice for them is: Get a damn job!! I don’t have any money anyway.
Age can definitely be an issue, but more importantly, it has to do with attitude & self-image. There are some 39-year old men that act and look 59 and the opposite can be true too. Fitness, grooming, and wardrobe can also play a part. As for the guy who said a 40year difference is “gross” let’s see what his opinion is in a decade or two. I’m pretty sure he thinks a 40-inch waist is just as gross. I get hit on by men of all ages but tend to play with younger guys. Agism is much less an issue… Read more »
Wow… What a range of thoughts on this subject.
Age should not be a matter or an issue… but sadly it is for some.
My first dating experience I was 18 and the gentleman was 40. Thought out the years I have had pleasure to dating other gentleman older than me when I wore younger mans clothes. Now time has made me to become the older gentleman and sadly the younger man of this new world are seeking something more than a gentleman, gentle friend and gentle lover. 🙁
Age is just a number. It’s no one’s business if there is a big age difference. Love has no age limits
There’s no such thing as that, so you might want to do your research on that one
Which is a total myth. Age is NOT just a number and there’s no such thing as that at all
Age is NOT just a number. It’s the measure of how long you’ve been on this earth, how many life lessons and experiences you’ve had. How can two people relate to each other if there is such a large age gap? What common references do they have? What will they talk about? The weather?
To those who say “age is just a number”, would you also say something equally as ridiculous as “weight is just a number”?
Thank you, that’s what I’m saying!
Wow. There are some harsh judgments shared on this page. I’m 63…my bf is…wait for it…29. Do we have issues because of the age gap? Of course we do-we’re both at different points in life and thinking about different things. But good lord, our relationship is not defined by by our ages, our appearances or the things we DON’T have in common. To the narrow minded contributors who think the younger man is only there for $$ and the older man is just a dirty old man my response is: I’m as dirty as I was at 18 and that… Read more »
i think some young gay men date older because they’re too intelligent to date their own age. not all young men can hold an intellectual conversation and not all old men know how to live in the present. intergenerational relationships exist because both partners learn and love from each-other about things they’ll never learn on their own. sometimes it takes a man to show you the ways you can love and how others have loved before. sometimes it takes the youth to remind you how ageless and flux love is. there are many reasons to get into a intergenerational relationship… Read more »
So I actually meet my x on A4A 9 years ago. I was 24 at the time and he was 42. I ended up moving across the state to be with him. I have a good career and he was in transportation/driver at the time. I tend to like older guys not because of his income but because I am needing someone more stable as I am. I can say we had some good times and tough times. I think he was wanting someone who wasn’t as independent, as I was already career stable and carried us financially. We split… Read more »
Age is just a number. However, having some things in common are also important. Incomes can be different as long as they don’t become a power play. An equal amount of love and truly caring for one another is essential.
I am presently dating a young man who is young enough to be my grandson…sometime his immaturity comes out and bores me.. but then he takes out his big 10.5 x 6.5 inch dick and I’m happy again….I’m sure that there are times when I bore him with my age…but then I pay all of his bills and he is happy with the world..
That’s hella creepy! Find guys your age!