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California has recently outlawed stealthing, making the state the first in the U.S. to do so.
Earlier this month, Governor Gavin Newsom signed a legislation that adds stealthing to California’s civil definition of sexual battery, which means that the act is now illegal and victims can sue their perpetrators.
In an interview with BBC, California Assemblywoman Cristina Garcia—the person who introduced the bill—said, “We wanted to make sure that it’s not only immoral, but illegal.” She added, “I still think this should be in the penal code. If consent was broken, isn’t that the definition of rape, or sexual assault?”
Garcia said she began working on the bill after reading then Yale law student Alexandra Brodsky’s term paper on stealthing in 2017. Published in Columbia Journal of Gender and Law, the study was titled ‘Rape-Adjacent’: Imagining Legal Responses to Nonconsensual Condom Removal and it discusses how stealthing is both considered as a form of assault and a gender-based violence. But the paper said stealthing may “more likely be prosecuted, if at all, as a sexual misdemeanor rather than a felony.” You can read Brodsky’s paper in full here and about California’s new law here.
If you don’t know what stealthing is, it is the act of non-consensual condom removal during sexual intercourse. We have written about it extensively here on the A4A blog in the past, you can revisit the article here if you wish to know more about it.
The practice had been put in the spotlight on and off these past few years due to Brodsky’s paper as well as several studies that have been made showing just how prevalent stealthing is.
In 2019, for example, a study among 626 American men aged between 21 and 30 found that 10% among the study participants had removed their condoms without the consent of their partners. More importantly, they revealed that they’ve done it not just once but three to four times on average.
Meanwhile, a separate study in Australia—which was conducted by Monash University and the Melbourne Sexual Health Centre in 2018—showed that one in three women had experienced stealthing. The survey, which had 2,000 survey participants, also found that almost one in five men who have sex with men suffered from stealthing.
As a response to these studies, more and more countries like United Kingdom, Switzerland, Canada, New Zealand, and Germany are recognizing stealthing as a crime. And although in some of these countries, stealthing is not explicitly prohibited or covered under their laws, there have been successful stealthing prosecutions in said countries.
Currently, there is a call for stealthing to be criminalized across Australia after the Australian Capital Territory (ACT) outlawed the non-consensual removal of a condom during sex. I have read similar calls for Iowa, New Zealand, and India as well.
Having said all that, have you ever been stealthed by a partner, guys? Please share your thoughts and stories with us in the comments section below.
Stay safe always, guys!
It’s almost impossible to prove consent, so this opens the door to litigation whose outcome is basically a coin flip, which is terribly unfair to the innocent. It will be way too easy to use these laws as punishment for a broken heart.
This is why more and more people are advocating for written consent contracts.
People still use condoms? lol
Just take PrEP. No worries 😉
Gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, hepatitis? For women, knocked up?
Those are curable and there’s a vax to prevent hep. Highly doubt any of us will be “knocked up” anytime soon haha. It isn’t 1985 anymore, sir. If you are meeting guys on Adam or any other gay app, you already know condoms are obsolete. Don’t shoot the messenger!
no, condoms are in no way obsolete, why such a message?
So you’re totally okay with just indiscriminately getting gonorrhea, syphilis, and the clap and passing it/them on to other partners before you even know you have it yourself? You sound like a total piece of shit. It’s time to take a good, long look in the mirror, dude.
Add HPV to that list… It’s a nasty one!
Guys stopped using condoms 20 years ago….I’m a top and have plowed 8,000 guys. I KNOW THE REALITY.
Johnny Appleseed, Syphilis style, eh Clyde?
I have not had an STI since 1996, because I douche my beautiful (I was told that thousands of times during my fuck career) flawless 8 inch cock with hydrogen peroxide after raw sex. I like to be powerful and find solutions, rather than being some bitchy unhappy Queen. Which is why I scored a hot husband with a PhD that banks 400K and we have a 8 figure net worth and fly all over the planet in lay flat comfort to fabulous places for food, shopping, sight seeing and sex. Life is far better when you know how to… Read more »
You douche? Talk about the ultimate act of irony.
I was a kid then, so I can’t attest to that. However, I’ve not met anyone that even made mention of condoms in the last 5 years or so. And I did very clearly mention PrEP. I do not recommend having sex with thousands of guys though lol.
Benke, you are probably on the top of the charts as a douche bag and lying motherfucker….who would even boast that?….micro dick syndrome? Dickhead! What you are is a disease spreader…a stealther…fuck off…
So much for the Rule here about being civil
Meth makes them feel like king of the world. Oh, you have to have a disease to spread it. I figured out the secret of erotica, how to have lots of great feeling sex with thousands of beautiful guys, without catching anything !
Damn, wish I had phone number…
So you speak for all of male humanity? I think not Sir Dickfallsoff.
Wow, just fukken wow
Are you really that ignorant? Do you think PrEP keeps you from getting and spreading all kinds of other diseases? And getting a woman pregnant? You better do some research, Will. You are the exact reason why STD outbreaks keep happening over and over. And this is the exact reason why PrEP shouldn’t be handed out to patients until they go through some education and prove they understand what it’s for.
Note to self: No sex with Will
The first load I took was from being stealthed. We fucked raw from then on.
Why hasn’t it been fucking illegal this entire time?!?
He told me to breed him. Prove he didn’t say that
Exactly. Your word against his. Would be a waste of court time and money. Be careful whom you lie down with. Get to know the person first. I’ve pulled out of women at times with only the band of the condom left around the base of my dick. They would simply pull out the broken cum laced condom and it was no big deal.
That’s not exactly how it works. We don’t prove negatives in law. The person making the claim has the burden of the proof, no one else.
Lie detector test
Inadmissible in courts of law
As a top, not a problem for me, l only fuck ass with a condom. Fucking without one is a deal breaker for me.
Tell me you don’t get laid much without admitting you don’t get laid much.
LEGAL OR NOT…I say ‘beat the living sht’ out of the dude, then his family for not raising him with decency. Sooo many dudes I’vewanted to set their house afire for even suggesting raw sex. Even moreso, hearing guys talk about ‘secretly’ raw screwing and finding humor in it.I know if it ever happened to me, that person would live in total sorrow, because I wouldn’t do anything to him, but to everything and everyone he loved.
Butch, violence is never the answer!!!! We’re above that. Martin taught us that we’re better than that.
Anger issues much?
Burn the house down for suggesting huh?
Sounds like a feasible strategy for someone no one wants to sleep with anyhow.
Do you by chance live in Haiti ?
This must be made *absolutely* illegal, as well as a defense in court against “aggravated assault,” committed by the poor guy whose slimeball date violated the conditional consent of sex *with* a condom, and responded by breaking the slimeball’s jaw, nose, eye sockets, arms, and legs. Period. Anyone who “stealths” and spreads a disease should have the opportunity to do so from inside a prison community, for the remainder of his life.
remember lorena bobbitt?
Great, so what do you do with the people who do it without passing a disease?
Or the ones who do it, but then have something passed from the bottom?
Your statement is full of slippery slopes.
Speaking of slippery slopes, ask your mom wby you weren’t swallowed?
How exactly do you prove in a Court Of Law that “YOU” said “Please use a condom”, and not BREED ME BITCH”! ?
Spread your diseases to those who consent to be defiled. Do it by deception, and prepare for the consequences. ‘Nuff said.
The best defense against stealthing is keen discernment. At best, outlawing it may discourage a few men here and there. But the threat of a laborious lawsuit between intimate partners that will all boil down to he said vs he said will not deter many.
All that said, it’s such a gross, egregious violation and it’s a real shame that it’s so common.
Back in my 20s my first lover, I hand him a condom, to put on. He was very thick and before king size condoms. He struggled getting it on. Once on, he went for it, he was excellent at what he did, a true mam of an hour if you know what I mean. When relaxing afterwards I notice only the band of the condom was left at the base. On purpose or by accident? Happened most of time.
you have your answer if it broke most of the time… it was too small…. not stealthing
Don’t put a condom on a Lubed penis, that allows movement between the condom and the penis which will greatly increase the chance of busting the condom, think of it this way if you’re the bottom and your hole starts to dry out a bit it will create more friction and traction while the tops penis is slick with lubrication, this combination of things cause a condom to fall
Makes sense. Legalize pedophilia in a state, then outlaw stealthing. What happens if the rubber breaks, and you shoot before you realize it was broke? California is a freaking joke with their asinine laws anymore
Having an orgasm before you realize the condom was broken isn’t stealthing, so why are you conflating them? Stealthing is the DELIBERATE act of anal sex with the intent of tricking of fooling the other person into thinking you’re wearing a condom. It’s pretty narrowly defined. It’s not synonymous with “any possible way you can contract HIV from anal sex”.
How much is it ok to stray from the truth before it’s simply lying? Asking for a friend.
If you truly believe breaking a condom is worrisome…I take it you’re a virgin?
Condoms are for when you’re having sex with another willing participant, doesn’t sound like you’re quite there just yet.
Sounds like a cash cow for underemployed lawyers. How the F**k can these situations be proved. Guess will have to record every encounter now.
I totally agree with this new law; every state needs to pass it. Person held accountable for their irresponsibility. But, im curious… Just curious if anyone can feel the difference between a condom and bare while being fucked? I can. For me, it seems like condoms cause more friction and requires more lube; bare no friction and less lube needed. My partner and I are both neg and on PreP and fuck bare. Occasionally, we’ve included others in our bed and our rule is we all wear condoms. Can anyone else tell and feel the difference?
I do not believe I was ever stealthed but one time the guy that was fucking me said the rubber broke. It did break as I saw it around the base of his dick after we were done fucking. But it was always on my mind, that since he supplied the rubber, did he do something to the rubber to make it break once he got his dick in my tight ass? I remember him just shoving his dick in hard and fast and I yelled at him to take it easy. That was probably enough friction to make the… Read more »
I think it should be made an offense..just as it is no to disclose your HIV status..most of us have had our moments of debauchery but you have to have your wits about you..I remember being at a spa and this one guy was coming on luring you to have anal sex and he did have a condom on until he was about to penetrate…always take a feel before it goes in to be sure
I was with this guy and I made sure he had put on a condom. We had gone at it for about 15 minutes until he had cum. When he rolled off me and we were laying there resting, I looked over my shoulder and saw he wasn’t wearing it anymore. I said, “What the hell happened to the condom.” He said, “It didn’t feel good so I took it off.” Like it was no big deal. What could I do? He had already put his load in me. He promised me he was clean. I was mad. Got up,… Read more »
As a bottom I could say I stealthed a guy once. I prefer raw sex and it been a couple of months since I had played and was wanting a load in me. However, the only guts I could find that weekend wanted to play safe, so I put some vaseline in me and after a minute or two I could feel the heat of his cock in me. I think he realised the condom broke because he really started pounding me and shot his load “in the condom” but when he pulled out and realised the condom broke it… Read more »
No I never have I will do it either way I don’t care if you wear one or don’t I just love being fucked
So it’s now illegal to remove your condom without partner’s consent in California, but perfectly legal to knowingly infect your partner with HIV… I will never understand Cali.
Didn’t California decriminalize not reporting your HIV status to your sex partners? This is a form of sheathing. There is no repercussions if you say your are neg and you aren’t or just don’t tell the person that you are having sex with.
STEALTHING,,RIGHT OR WRONG is it legal or not. But that has been going on for years Bottom line, I would be very careful what you wish for to happen.. In the end it could effect every man and woman on this planet ,across all walks of life past, present, and future. Personally, i have never ever worn a condom, but I have heard of guys pricking the tip of the condom.. Again, something to discuss with your sexual partner. Instead of being on your knees, maybe you should face your partner to be sure he is wearing a condom,, Keeping… Read more »
One time I placed an ad for guys to come find me face down ass up in hotel room … I told them condoms will be provided and to be used … the first guy to arrive was a big muscular black guy … I saw and heard him open the condom he fucked me real good and I could actually feel him flooding my guts with his cum… but I saw him put on the rubber… after he left I discovered a perfectly unused condom laying next to the opened package … most of the guys who fucked me… Read more »
Thanks Adam… This practice is new to me and alarming. I started PrEP in April. I have a medical background and know the incidences of STIs so I appreciate you ‘spreading’ (sic) this dangerous phenomenon with your readers!
I was 40 and stealthed by a cute little 18yo bear. I didn’t know it had a name back then just when we got done he was bare. He probably nutted it me dozens of times after that. To be honest, I thought it was kind of hot. I worry laws like this will get a lot of guys in trouble by unhappy bottoms. I feel the same way about rape and abortion, How many guys will become rapist after the girl find out she is pregnant. From War Games “A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.”
yes I have had it done to me, more than once. Thankfully I have not contracted anything this way because I will not meet with guys like Clyde who admit they have plowed thousands of guys bb in their lives and will not admit he has probably gotten every disease known to mankind and still spreading it. It is too easy for someone to do this in doggy style. So you have to be really careful when he enters you from behind.
When you look at people’s profiles, I have found a VERY HIGH correlation between their sexual practice being bareback and their HIV status being positive or positive undetectable. And the ones that say bareback and negative are liars. Once you have done it bareback, you need to IMMEDIATELY change your status to unknown until you get a test verifying you are negative. But if you practice bb for long enough you will probably eventually get hiv and that will never go away
Even though I am on prep I use condoms unless I know a guy really well. One time I went over to this guy’s house and he was topping me for quite a while when he pulled out to flip me over face down. After a few minutes of fucking me I felt him cum and immediately knew that there was no condom on. To be honest I was actually suspicious before he came because it felt different from when we were face to face. He insisted that it accidentally fell off and he didn’t notice but I didn’t buy… Read more »