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Sexuality: Are You A Sexual Person?

Would you say that you are a sexual person? And how do you define the term “sexual person,” anyway? Is it someone who loves to have sex? Masturbate? Are they someone who loves to flirt, talk about sexual things, or are they the ones who love to experiment and explore their desires and kinks in bed?

We are asking because someone brought this up on askgaybros; he said on his post, “I know people love sex and everything and more power to you but sometimes I feel boxed in when I’m not really a sexual person haha.” He added, “Like I don’t have an issue with people being sexual but it just kinda sucks when interacting with gay guys it’s a lot about sex when I’m just looking for cuddles. Idk. Does anyone else have this problem?”  

Naturally, many people weighed in on the matter. Some of them confessed that they “enjoy, seek out, and crave sex” while others revealed they are not sexual at all but rather they are “asexual” (Asexuals, or ace for short, is the term used for “someone who is not sexually attracted to anyone” and it is believed that at least 1% of people are asexuals. Although they are not sexually attracted to anyone, it doesn’t mean that they can’t be romantically attracted to other people. A biromantic asexual for example, is someone who is “not sexually attracted to anyone, but is romantically attracted to males and females” although they asexuals also be aromantic or people who do not experience romantic attraction to anyone).  

That being said, other respondents on the thread pointed out that “people in general are very sexual” and that this has nothing to do with sexual orientation at all. But what do studies say? Well, a previous survey result revealed that straight men have had more or less around the same number of sexual partners as gay men although the survey did show that 2% of their gay respondents have had sex more than the rest. 

Never mind what the studies or what other people say guys, what about you? Would you say that you are a sexual person? Do others see you this way as well? Why or why not? Lastly, do you agree with their perception that gay culture is too sexual? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below! 


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  1. dirtyold man

    VERY sexual.. In fact, I image just about every man I see naked and wonder how hot he is in bed. I would say I’m almost an addict, but then I’d be lucky to ‘actually’ have sex twice a year. I’m an older gay man who is care giver to my elderly mom so rarely get any. So I suppose my public fantasies are what keep my sane.

    • N.Z.H.

      DIRTYOLD MAN:

      What is keeping you sane is the love and care you are giving your Mother. Be proud of it as your Mother gave you life and, now, you are helping her hold on to her life.

      You are doing what is natural and sacred. Long after she passes, the knowledge of what you did to help your Mother, in her last years, will enable you to rest your head upon a pillow and sleep well!

  2. Bill

    I am single do not have a partner, not sure I am sexual since I don’t have sex very often. but I think about sex all the time….I don’t think any one man can give me all I want. I’ve never though of me as being sexual.. more often think of me as being a whore..

  3. Jockn2cbt

    I don’t know. I waste so much time chasing it, but then like all the other screen humpers I just end up jerking off to porn or edging up for days on end and letting the sexual tension build. I get off on blue-balling it though to the point I can barely walk around in jeans. I have to say my sexuality doesn’t define me, that’s why I’m loathe to come out to anybody, not that they learn I’m gay, but forever after, in their minds, I’m gay John, or my gay uncle, my gay neighbor or the gay guy at work. I don’t like being checkmarked off in some kind of box, no matter what trait I exhibit (okay, I’ll take smart). It’s like I’m tall, so everybody expects me to love basketball when in fact pro sports bore me to tears. There is a void in my life, I do like living alone, but human touch has some real intrinsic value and lack of is really unhealthy mentally. Maybe that guy I could stand living with is out there, but I doubt it’d be a snuggle bunny relationship. As I get older, I’m more and more aware I am of the benefits, financial and practical, of being in a relationship. I know sex found me a lot earlier than most and may be the basis of my adversion to bonding, definitely unapologetic yet immature, I doubt I could ever tame the roving eye.

  4. R L

    The person who wants cuddles more than genital acts, needs to realize something that many people forget: sexuality is an expression of personhood in relation to others, in light of hormonal and physical reactions. Being drawn to someone’s features, but not wanting genital sex, is sexuality. Wanting cuddles or kisses but not wanting genital expression, is sexuality. Wanting genital expression but no deep connection, is sexuality. Wanting to be perceived as an appealing and attractive person, is sexuality.
    Part of the reason some people get so hateful about gay people, or why people get so uptight about their lack of interest in genital action is because we focus on the “sex” in homosexual or sexuality, and not the totality. Sex just means gender and the endocrine components, so sexuality is your interpretation of “self” in relation to others, physically, to whatever extent. What we call “sex” is really “sexual intercourse”, the meeting of genitalia, so our fixation with an act is the result of a careless abbreviation long ago.
    In short, the cuddle seeker is just as sexual as the quickie chaser, just in a different way, although (and this is biased) I think the one who derives the fuller overall satisfaction physically, emotionally, etc, is probably more sexual in the truest sense. Remember, gay people, all people, are more than just one act or aspect. Sexuality is of the whole person.

  5. Matt

    Very sexual. I fuck several times a week with different partners–all buddies–and sometimes double up. I love how my cock and balls look in jeans and I love showing a bulge in public. I’m always checking men out, but because I’m so “alpha” and “butch” men who catch me watching them don’t assume I want them sexually, but I do.

  6. Bttm4DLtop

    I am a sexual person, but do prefer meeting someone for a date (rather at home for a glass of wine and TV or meet out for a drink and/or dinner). I enjoy more than anything meeting someone to get to know and chill, then sex can happen. Even if I’m meeting someone with the intent of having some form of sex, I still prefer they come over and we sit and chat first then let it lead into sex. I am turned off (or shall I say NOT very turned on) by just meeting a stranger and getting right to a sexual encounter. Not difficult to meet the later, but the former is often rare.

  7. Richard

    Sex is built into the very fabric of every physical living being: plant, animal, human. The question may be about the balance and control of sex. It too can be an addiction. The rest of nature responds to its inner instinct at its proper time. Humans choose to be sexual all the time. So who is the master and who is the servant? Sex for all its intense satisfaction is but the means to what is more important for us, intimacy. We should be able to see past our penis to the person. Sexuality is also shared in many ways outside of the bedroom. Physical contact as in cuddling can be very sexual, even a good meal together. We all know about the physical, but with time we come to realize more its place with the personal.

  8. Lamar

    Oh, hell yeah, very sexual, I keep it to myself mostly though, as a romantic-emotionally available type. I crave physical contact, emotional involvement, as a mentally mature man; it’s my inclination to seek the same in another man; multi-level involvement rather than what guys are all too often seeking, “fun.”

    “Fun” is something like you’d see in a “John Hughes movie” completely sophomoric. And that’s
    just fine-expected even with the younger-set, late teens-20’s, clearly just sex on a lesser-level, physical attraction- interaction only. And ‘sometimes-sparingly’ being a mature-single man, gay or otherwise, you really need physical contact, obviously, I’m modern enough to get that.

    It’s just that since my early 30’s, having mentally evolved-matured, it wasn’t any longer about just “having fun,” whereas 3 decades later at my present age, men all too often are ‘still’ just “having fun,” what is that, arrested development or what?

    Just the other day, I commented on a 45yr old man’s profile, he stated “its a sex-site,” I commented, “its a “gay dating-site” where men are meeting for sex, mostly.” For me these days, that’s like eating really cheap, poor-quality fast food, the older you get, too, the worse it is for your good health physically, mentally, spiritually; the fallout is astronomical.

    People, are using these sites like they’re ordering steak; according to the doneness, sz, ounces
    and so forth, lol. It’s not about the depth or quality of character, just the flesh,
    remember that song, “you lost that loving feeling” yeah, like that.

    Having said all of that, for the longest time now, I’m still very, very sexual in my mind, so I masturbate, once-sometimes twice a day, just to stay sane, needless to say, healthy on multiple levels.

  9. John

    I’d say I am a sex addict. If I could I’d have sex hours a day. While obviously I couldn’t cum more than a couple times a day I’d gladly avail my mouth and ass for use.

  10. bulld0g

    I’m not sure how to respond to this. If I am attracted to someone, I do tend to be more overtly flirty and sexual. If I’m not attracted, it’s a more polite society kind of reaction (and handshake instead of a hug).
    I do wonder sometimes if I am addicted to porn – as that is about 80% of my sexual activity during the week. And while I’m an older gay man, and HIV+, I don’t lack potential encounters more than anyone else (unless they’re a porn star). There are lots of groups and categories for every fetish and attraction out there.
    Bottom line is yes, I am a sexual person, but like most things, it ebbs and flows depending on my mood and situations and environment.

  11. Jack Rabbit

    I consider myself a sexual person because my needs vary sometimes. For example, I might be in the mood for lots of body contact, kissing, and cuddling to make me feel satisfied. On the other hand, there are times when I want the most intense, dirty, verbal animal sex–the kind that makes you sweat up the sheets and then feel totally spent.


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