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Capture d’écran, le 2019-10-11 à 15.26.07

News: How to Celebrate the 31st National Coming Out Day (NCOD)

October 11, 2019 marks the 31st National Coming Out Day, guys. Are you out to your family, friends, and colleagues? If you are, how did they take it? What is your coming out story?

For Adam4Adam users who already did their coming out and had lost their family members and friends in the process, always remember that we are here for you, you’ll never be alone. The entire A4A community is behind you and with our 11M users you can find friends on here pretty easily. You are only one click away; all you need to do is download our app here.

As for the other Adam4Adam members who are thinking of coming out, you may want to read first the resource guides that the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) has put together here.

Anyway, why do we observe NCOD every year? It’s to “celebrate coming out and to raise awareness of the LGBT community and civil rights movement” of course. It’s sad to say however, that there are still many countries in the world that continue to criminalize LGBT people making it impossible for them to come out. To be precise, there are 72 countries all in all, check this to view the map. But also, there are countries like Canada that provide protection and help to resettle vulnerable groups like the LGBT community and if you live in one of these 72 countries and are interested with the process, click here to learn more on how to move to Canada.

Lastly, if you are looking for ways to celebrate National Coming Out Day, you can support Rainbow Railroad‘s campaign called “Help Each Other Out.” Rainbow Railroad is a Toronto-based charitable organization that helps LGBT people escape violence and persecution in their home countries. We donated to them before and we sponsored a gay refugee from Chechnya.

Or you can opt to pledge your support for Aimee Stephens who was fired at her job when she came out as a transgender woman to her employer. We wrote about her story here and you may pledge your support on ACLU as they take on the appeal of her case at the Supreme Court.

Happy National Coming Out Day, guys!


There are 9 comments

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  1. Nathan

    The only two days of any significance are the day you come out between your Mother’s legs and the day you are put into the ground, urn or scattered.

    Every other day is just like the day before or the day after. “Coming out is passe.” Either you’ve already done it or you don’t need to do it.

    Everyone is already out…according to the Democraps!

  2. Libertarian Queer

    While I appreciate Dave and others’ sentiments toward supporting those who come out and lose their family members in the process, for me I think I’ll leave things the way they are. Personally, I’m not concerned about being “out”. If somebody needs to know I’m gay, I’ll let them know. For me, the risk of any family alienation is probably rather small though it could happen. So, I just leave it alone and go about my business. As for work, it’s a no go; I don’t need the attendant back-stabbing and loose talk. I’m certain others may feel differently but its just another day on the calendar for me and I’m good with that.

  3. farmdude

    I am over 65 and I have never came out to anyone. But in a way I knew that my fellow workers knew about me. I never came out to my family, but when I came home, from the military and my partner came with me, I believer they knew. I just told them he was a friend from the army. Even when the don’t ask don’t tell was going on, I knew my army bubbies knew to. So growing up in the early 70’s in the military, finding a partner with kids, in which we both raised them as babies, It was unheard back then, but we did it, with the help of my Mom, sister for ur daughter needs, And enjoying the sports with our son. Now they are both away from home with a grand daughter, who consider me like there dad. I lost my partner back in 2015, been hard but my friends came around and supported me, I which believe gave me the power to keep living.

  4. Hunter0500

    If a gay guy finds his sexuality so front and center, so primary, so defining to who he is that everyone needs to know about it, it’s his choice to come out. It’s his choice to put it in front of others. It’s his choice to make it an issue. It’s his choice to tell them to “deal with it.” It’s his choice to demand acceptance.

    If a gay guy finds his sexuality is but a fraction of who be is, it’s his choice to reveal it … or not to reveal it … to whoever he wishes to.

    Militants will disagree arguing that anyone who is gay owes it to those who fought the fight for acceptance to come out.

    What about being born gay comes with any kind of obligation? The requirement is bullying. “In the closet” is a demeaning term, as hateful and negative as any other slur.

    It ignores the thousands of men who for decades did not push or reveal their sexually. They were teachers, doctors, business men, neighbors, co-workers, etc. who were respected and accepted for who they were. With no issue of sexuality. Over time, those who knew them realized there was no woman in their life. Some had a “roommate” or “good friend.” What they did in private was just that … private. Acceptance was earned based upon the individual, not on his sexuality.

    Yes, the “out” guys were harassed, bullied … and much worse. But they do not hold the sole key and 100% of the responsibility for the level of acceptance that has been reached to date. Other guys took a quieter road and brought acceptance forward as well in the background.

    • Lamar

      Do you what “passing” means? It’s what “quadroons” did, or do you know of such a term? It means people that are “3 drops of African” or 1/4 of African descent. They often passed themselves of as “white” to further their careers or to marry white; usually woman who tried, often failed with dyer
      consequences…losing their lives, murdered. The most notable, successful actress, songstress-
      Lena Horne, she did “pass” to further her career only to later-on, come-out.

      I am militant on a few fronts, as there is no shame, see, and that is the very point of coming out.
      “I WILL NOT BE SHAMED.”

  5. Lamar

    I think it’s too bad that it is ‘still’ the big that it apparently is. People can always, well, to put it the way Dolly did in the movie “Workin’ 9-5,” figure out “which side your bread is butter-on,” lol, office politics and such being what it tends to be “clique-ish.” Certain kinds of gossip, especially if you’re a male who is good-looking “is he gay, well he never talks about women” especially like the kind of usual banter that goes on in the office among men, probably women on the prowl as well.

    My experience, admittedly by one woman, it had been speculated about me, “he’s either educated or gay” because I’m African Amer., see, without the usual cultural-dialect, probably. This kind of ignorance goes on in the African Amer., communities too, however.

    So, rather than shrink-away cowardly, I stood-up to it, given the two choices, I’d rather die on my feet than live on my knees, but hey that’s just me, personal integrity. So, everyday is coming-out day, “living in you’re own light of truth.”

  6. NATHAN

    FARMDUDE:

    I am sorry to read of your partner’s death.

    I, too, was a member of the US Medical Corps. Was a Cadet of The United Military Academy and served “In-Country” for eight years.

    Met the Love-of-my-life, at 20. He died in Vietnam in 1967. He was 36.

  7. Marcus

    I personally think it’s overrated. Some people/ family in general are two-faced. You tell them you’re gay and they hug you and tell you they love you and can’t wait to get behind your back and tell that gossipy cousin or coworker. They will put you down like a freak of nature behind your back and smile in your face. Although they don’t go to church, they use scriptures they looked up just to put you down; behind your back of course. You try to adopt kids and ask for their opinion and they will encourage you to proceed and then tell another family member/coworkers/friends how they really feel about it. I have a brother who is in his sixties and never married or have kids. Lot of family members never seen him with a woman and I have never. Friends and family members always make snide remarks in regard to his sexuality; behind his back of course. He’s very masculine, was very athletic and leaves them confused. They would welcome him coming out to disfuse their curiosity and I say fuck them, leave them in suspense. In closing alot of us always question one another sexuality. When a new friend or coworker try to get close to me or say something suspect, I wonder if he’s gay. We all think that way out of curiosity. It don’t really matter. Lindsey Graham a political power house guy, leaves others/rivals in limbo wondering if he’s gay or not. I hope he keep them wondering and just live his best life. Imagine how much his political life would change for the worst if he comes out…..


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