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As the years have passed, more and more bisexual men and women have become more comfortable with who they are. That said, there are still a lot of people who don’t understand and may unintentionally end up hurting the feelings of their bisexual friends.

So you avoid getting into an embarrassing situation like this, here are five things you definitely shouldn’t say to bisexuals.

1. Do you prefer men or women?

We should all know by now that sexual attraction isn’t something you can neatly quantify into numbers and percentages. A person isn’t 48 percent attracted to men and 52 percent attracted to women. There are times when bisexual people find themselves more attracted to men, and sometimes they find themselves more attracted to women. Asking this question makes it seem like you’re just waiting for them to make up their minds.

2. When’s the last time you had sex/dated a man/woman?

When you ask this question, you make it sound like bisexual people need to be dating or having sex with multiple partners of different genders just to somehow prove their bisexuality. That simply isn’t the case. Even if you’re only actively dating/having sex with one gender, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t bisexual.

3. You can’t be bisexual because you’re in a relationship with a man/a woman.

Think about how this question sounds. Just because they’re in a relationship with one gender doesn’t mean they’re no longer attracted to other genders. It’s because they’re in a monogamous relationship and they’re respecting that commitment that they’re not acting on it. Saying this to a bisexual person makes you sound like you expect them to stray at any moment.

4. The bisexual I dated cheated on me.

No doubt about it, getting cheated on hurts. It sucks that you experienced this with a bisexual person. But in the same way that gay people shouldn’t be generalized, bisexual people shouldn’t be subjected to that stereotype as well. Cheaters are present in every sexual orientation, it’s not something that only bisexuals do. And just like we said in number three, there are so many bisexuals in committed and monogamous relationships.

5. Bisexuality was just a phase for me.

Sexuality is an ongoing journey and if bisexuality was just a phase for you, then nobody should invalidate that journey. But by that same measure, you shouldn’t discount bisexuals who have discovered that this isn’t a phase for them at all.

Bisexual Adam4Adam readers, is there anything else you wish people wouldn’t say to you? Tell us all about it in the comments section below!

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