(Photo Credits: fizkes from Shutterstock)
Have you ever lied about your age—online, offline, or even to your partner? If so, why? Conversely, have you ever been lied to by a boyfriend, hookup or partner? Age is often seen as just a number, but for many people, it carries emotional weight. Whether it’s insecurity, fear of judgment, or simply a desire to fit in, age-related lies are more common than you might think. But when it comes to relationships, these little lies can sometimes lead to big consequences.
Take this situation from r/askgaybros:
- “21 and 27 is a pretty big deal but not as big as 22 and 16. Which happened to a friend of mine. Long story short, he’s forever on the sex offender list.”
Age gaps can be tricky, especially when deception is involved. The difference between a few years may seem minor, but in some cases, lying about your age can lead to severe legal repercussions. It’s a reminder that transparency about age isn’t just a matter of trust—it’s sometimes about protecting yourself and others.
For many, though, the reasoning behind lying about their age isn’t quite as serious. Some older men want to seem younger, while younger guys often try to appear older. It’s a pattern that plays into our society’s obsession with youth and desirability.
- “I lied about my age to my ex at first out of insecurity and fear of my lack of sexual experience. When he did find out, I apologized and explained my fears… He forgave me, and we worked through it.”
For this user, the lie stemmed from insecurity about sexual experience, which is something many of us can relate to. The positive takeaway here is that honesty ultimately strengthened their relationship. The user learned to overcome feelings of inadequacy, and their partner’s understanding made the bond even stronger.
But not everyone would take that lie so well like these men below who said:
- “Starting a relationship with a lie doesn’t sound really appealing.”
“He’s a liar. Deal breaker.”
“If he will lie about his age, what else will he lie about?”
For some, lying—especially at the beginning of a relationship—is an instant dealbreaker. It makes sense. Trust is one of the core pillars of a healthy relationship, and a lie about something as fundamental as age can make people wonder what else might be hidden. If someone lies about their age, it might signal that other, more significant deceptions could be lurking around the corner.
But not everyone feels that way.
- “Age is just a digit. And I don’t fuck digits. I fuck men.”
For this person, age truly doesn’t matter, and they’re more focused on the connection they have with their partner rather than what’s on their ID.
So, Adam4Adam blog readers, where do you stand? If your partner lied about their age, would it be a dealbreaker for you? Or would you understand the insecurities that might have led to it? After all, the key to any strong relationship is communication—and maybe, a little bit of forgiveness when the lie isn’t so big? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below!
I don’t lie about my age and don’t see a reason why. As long as the guy is legal I think it’s dishonest which would bring suspicion, that being said, for the underage guys , they need to understand you are putting someone else at risk of legal issues. For the older guys, I prefer older men. They are way sexy and know what and how they want it. Nothing like an older man telling me what to do in bed. Which I’m happy to comply. Men in their 40’s to 70’s, yes please.
we all lie regardless of rhyme and reason some lies are for self preservation some lies are about seeking an advantage some lies are about manipulation lies are every day for whatever reason age is just a primary example of a great lie
I kinda agree with you. I think a person can lie, but it don’t make them a liar. I think a liar is a person that lie all the time. If a person tell a little innocent lie about their age, and it leads to them getting some good, hot, juicy, toe curling, explosive sex with a person of age, then fuck yea!!!. Lol
Matt, that was my point as we are all without sin of some kind. a lie now and then simply makes life a little more attainable
“I think a person can lie, but it don’t make them a liar.”
A lie is a lie. A liar is a liar. Unless you’re a Politician. They so often don’t tell the truth so you can count on them lying. They say what they need to say (spin) whenever they need to spin someplace.
A person who thinks a person can lie and not be a liar should pursue a political career.
Doesn’t even telling 1 lie make a person a liar?
Speak for yourself.
I’ve always been proud of looking much younger than my actual age; being older, I’m still proud-grateful for looking great at my age of almost 64 in just months.
So, no, I’ve not had to.
That’s awesome brother!!! Keep doing what you doing!!! Wonder why all the thumbs down???
Thanks, man, just taken stock/care of my wealthy genetic inheritance; is how I look at it, you cannot, really, buy good health/genetics.
I’m curious to know what age you look like.
Never have. What’s the point? The other guy will figure it out the second you first meet and he’ll reject you in a heartbeat probably followed by an expletive-filled rant. Years ago, I met a guy who was clearly 10-15 years older than he said he was. I didn’t rant at him but told him good riddance the moment I first saw him. It’s just stupid.
a small lie now and then is quite acceptable as it is somewhat logical a big lie is obvious and quite illogical
I don’t either. I’d be afraid of running into a guy like you and being crushed just that much worse! 😉
When one lies, (downward), he’s probably trying to compensate for a pathetic manner in sex or appearance. I sometimes feel for those pathetic guys, but I can’t forgive the lie. I’m approaching 70, and I do not lie, . . . . but I don’t feel like I’ve gotten to the “pathetic” point either, . . . not yet , anyway. Maybe my history and looooong experience make the difference. I’ve been having sex since a single-digit age.
I don’t know why I do it, but I always age up by a year
a little white lie stimulates the imagination
Absolutely! When I was 18, I said I was 21 because I thought 21 was the baseline for being taken seriously, which it’s not. I haven’t met anyone who hasn’t always told the truth about their age. I’ve met a guy who said he was 55 to get a senior citizen discount. He was actually 50. The point is that people are motivated to do and say what they do for various reasons. Of course, if you are in a serious relationship, it might be wise to tell the truth. If it is a meaningful relationship, the counterpart will likely… Read more »
I think it depends on where the lie takes place. I lower my age for online purposes because the town I live in is full of overly entitled military men who feel they only deserve young fit guys. Once a man hits 40, 50, god help you 60, years old you become more and more invisible. Once a guy who is age blind becomes a possibility to meet or spend time with, he’s learned my real age.
That’s a bit dishonest.
It seems in the gay community anyone over 30 is considered “old” and therefore are to be rejected. Not sure why age is such a determining factor. I cam understand if someone is 20 years older and you feel like they old enough to be ya dad or something. But I see profiles with ages 24, 25, saying if you’re over 29 you will be ignored or blocked! I’m like damn. There are plenty of attractive people over people’s age limits. Life doesn’t stop at 30s or 40s…
I agree that you’re considered “old” in the gay community if you’re in your 30’s & “OLD” @ 40’s +.
My entire dating life happened between the ages of 22-25. I just turned 50 this year & still hope to NOT be single anymore. Who knows if my wish will be granted?
I’ve never had any reason to lie about my age. In my profile I state my age AND specify that my interest in men begins whey THEY are of a certain age and stick to it.
Lying about your age means you’re just looking for your next ejaculation with some/any body you’ll not meet again. If you’re facade wins, you get your rocks off, being sure you’ll never have to explain any discrepancy down the road. And the target guy fell for you deception.
I don’t care about age. That gives me some 60+ years of quality guys to play with. If you do, or if you want to be attracted to guys looking for your age, do partners a favor and stick close to your age.
most gay guys will not remember you the morning after the night before so a comeuppance is unlikely?
I have nevered lied about my age. What if you finally met the right person and lied. Not a good way to start off a relationship.
Interestingly, ageism and racism are rife in our community. I could never be an upstanding Black man if I succumbed to either; I’d be a disingenuous hypocrite. The only lie that’s a mainstay of my online profiles is my age – and I offer no apologies. I celebrated my seventy-first birthday last week, look fifty, am an unusually well-endowed topman (I’m 5′ 7″, 135 lbs., 10″), my phallus functions exactly as it did at thirty – and I will not be sexually marginalized by the biases, stereotypes, preconceptions, or ignorance of others. I ALWAYS reveal my deception after my initial… Read more »
why, age is just a number, honey! if he don’t like yo numba then ya tell him to take a hike and look for a dude with a betta numba! howevah, if he likes your numba, then BINGO on O-69, and get to the bed immediately, baby! MMMMMM!
I’ll admit it, I used to lie about my age when I was younger. I’m sure you can all figure out why I would say I was at the legal age of consent in my state. It was pretty obvious that I was not there yet. In my defense, the guys that actually bothered to ask (most didn’t) knew it wasn’t true. They were looking for someone like me. I know now that it wasn’t the right thing to do. But I felt that they actually wanted me to lie ( a kind of plausible deniability that in reality won’t… Read more »
Why should I?
Or does this lead into “what else do you lie about”?
The guy in the picture looks very happy. He must have just scored a hookup with a hot guy by modifying his age.
All is fair in love and lust.
Gauging the look of absolute delight on the face of the guy in the picture, he must have told an Age Lie Whopper and gotten his next hookup.
Lying is stupid
Liars are stupid
What they fail to realize is that once they lie, they need to lie again and again to keep their story straight. All too often, people who know them talk. They are exposed, and find themselves with no one who supports them long term.
Forget my comment here, just delete it please.
I lied because I wanted to, I was tired of the never ending “how old are you”, ‘how much do you earn’, even tho it was on my page so I asked ‘how old do you think that I am’, and then they told me what they thought my age was, I just agreed at that point since I already knew I’d not see them again. I don’t look anything like people in my actual age group.
Nope I have never lied about age. Why bother? Telling my true age screens out the ageists. Plus it is tiring to keep up lies and false facades.
When I was little, I told somebody I was a 13 y/o midget!
Don’t remember who/why I said it, other than I said it. (Obviously I was under 13 when this happened.)