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Speak Out: What Do Gay Men Fantasize About?

(Photo Credits: Tim Mossholder from Pexels)

But first off, why is constructing erotic scenarios in our head important? According to sexuality counselor Dr. Ian Kerner, without fantasies, “comfort sex” can become “stale or routine” and routine equals boring.  Not to mention that in the end, Dr. Kerner says the brain is actually the biggest sex organ which is why stimulating our brain by fantasizing is the easiest way to spice up our sex life. 

What is your favorite fantasy, guys? Is it something that you would like to try in the near future or is it something that you would never explore or act out in real life? Why or why not? 

That being said, we scoured the internet to find out what gay men fantasize about, can you guess which the most popular ones are? Here are seven of their hottest fantasies, let us know in the comments section what’s yours!

  • Group Sex – this is by far, the most popular as many gay men on Reddit admit to fantasizing about being spit roasted, having threesome, foursome, moresome, or gangbang and being used as a “cum dump.” Most of them though, also admit that it will never happen in real life and group sex to them will forever remain a fantasy mainly because of health concerns.
  • Bareback – same sentiment as above. This fantasy, they say, is something they’ll “never go through with.”
  • Sex with the massage therapist / sensual massage
  • Pet play 
  • Double penetration
  • Having sex in public or semi-public places like while in a car or while camping or in a public swimming pool
  • Watersports

What about you, guys, what are your wildest sex fantasies and would you try doing it in real life? Share with us your stories and your hottest sex fantasies in the comments section below.    

There are 54 comments

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  1. Jack

    Getting tagteamed by 4 or 5 tops while im in a sling! Spitroasted, double penetrated, bukkake! The works! In the NNJ area if anyone is interested! Lol

  2. RJ

    I guess I’m living my fantasies since I’ve tried all of those except puppy play (no interest) and double pen (too tight). You CAN be safe and wild if you are careful.

  3. Eric

    While I am mostly bottom, flip fucks can be hot. My hottest fantasy is being with twins, and while we all fuck each other, they both breed me. Of course the twins are hung and uncut.

    I would also love to be pig bottom of an orgy, almost like what you see in the Bukkake Boy videos. Several guys, all races, and take turns fucking and breeding me while I have a cock in my mouth. I’d also take DP from the guys that are fucking my brains out.

  4. kinky daddy

    I’ve done all of the fantasies listed above. Always in search of something new to try. Have any suggestions ? Live out your fantasies guys that’s what life is about. Some things might not work out the way you thought but at least you tried.

    • private poster

      Hey I doubt you have tried the ultimate fantasy . That is doing some scat (poop) play. Hey you know it can actually be fun, from just simply watching each other do their thing, to all out taste, eat and smear. I’ve done a little, and wow! it can be quite a turn on sharing your most private and personal thing you do. I will admit you have to be excited and turned on enough to get into it, but once you do, you will be rock hard sharing something that most never dream of. Also in the realm of weird kinky stuff to share, how about sharing spit, snot, and pee. With all of these things, start slow, get into each other first, then slowly work your way into it. Start by rimming, and then hey “give me a taste” etc, Try it you’ll like it.

    • Jon R.

      My relative who raised me said the last day he was alive (a couple of weeks ago) , “Don’t wait for the perfect time to live your dream.” If one of the items above is your fantasy, go make it happen. No one is going to do it for you.

      I read the list and am grateful I have done everything in the fantasy department I have wanted to do, said the guy who died twice this past spring and came back to life (they said I made it because I was healthy and my humor is equally dark).

      Kinky Daddy is spot on – it may not work out as you thought, but you tried. And then you can try again until it is what your want.

  5. Hunter0500

    Had this discussion with a bud a while back: “is it ok or is it weird to masturbate solo and think of each other?” Our conclusion was that since we masturbate ourselves or each other sometimes when we’re together, it’s fine to think about each other when we’re not.

    Now and then when a bud and I have a date that’s a few days out, I’ll “relieve the pressure” and will think about (investigate in my head) things I could do to/with him that I think he (and of course I) would like. Like pregame planning.

    In the end, for me it’s an investment and is way more satisfying than fantasying about things you won’t ever get near doing or about a guy you’ll never get a snowball’s chance in hell of playing with.

  6. bredinbone

    My fantasies parallel those listed in the blog post above — being spit roasted by two nicely sized, uncut cocks — and having the guy in my mouth unload first so I can feel his cock spasming as it pumps out its load; then having the guy in my ass (at least 8″) shove in deep as I feel his cock pulse and sense the liquid warmth and increased lubrication as his semen shoots deep in my ass.

  7. TiredOfIt

    I never fantasize about sex anymore… haven’t for decades. The pandemic took that all away from me. By 28, my sex life was almost over. The irresponsibility of guys in the ’80s and ’90s convinced me that having the sex I loved to have in the ’70s would never happen again. Except for a few hot moments since then, I’ve just left it alone. The result was chronic depression, PTSD and severe anxiety for years, but I’ve worked past that, and realize that I’m still around and healthy, while hundreds of my friends and lovers from back then are all dead, save for a handful who going down slow due to their meds killing them. I won against the bug. Was it worth it? Sometimes I question if it was. I have been through hell and back.

    • Just a poster

      I’m very sorry that you ended up with (I assume HIV), and it ruined your life, sex life, etc. I understand how it could lead to depression, anxiety, and a feeling of hopelessness. Sex can be lots of fun, but yes their are risks. Honest if I could help you, I would give you a big hug, care for and about you, and help you enjoy life. Just because you have a problem doesn’t end things. We all have problems including myself. (No I never got HIV, but have had many other problems including many surgery’s, not caused by sexual play, but other health problems. Also I assume you were sent into war, as you mentioned you have PTSD. That also can be a real problem, but honest it’s over, Just move on in life, enjoy life, and sex, travel, doing things, and fun in life doesn’t not have to be over for you. Hey you said “You Won” be thankful, I’m glad for you.

  8. doug

    OK, I guess I will be first. I have always been attracted to men, but didn’t start acting on long held feelings until latter in life. I have always had this fantasy about 2, maybe 3 guys tag teaming me. One being a anglo guy with blond hair, a hairy chest and a stubble of a beard. The other being a black guy with a bald head, a full beard and some hair on his chest. To finish it off a brown guy either Latin or Asian with dark hair and a smooth body and hard cock. Each participating, watching and coaching each other on what should be happening in the sack. Me doing each and wearing them out until the next jumped in. Totally giving it up and submitting to whatever they wanted.

    • bjjj

      Hi there, yes, racial play can be exciting, as it’s sort of like your going against the norm. It can be a real fantasy and yes, it can become reality real easy. I used to and do fantasize about different types of guys, but when you really meet someone that you love and care about, skin color or nationality isn’t all that important. It’s about how well your interact, interests, and how much you care about each other. Yes, as many of you know on this site, I am white, and my BF is black, and gosh we care about each other so much, skin color isn’t any big deal. What counts is how much we enjoy doing things and helping each other out. I must admit though your fantasy sounds hot. Being tag teamed by all these different guys, oh yes, it would be fun.

  9. NSA4NOW69

    My fantasy is all of the above (but NO WS…no body fluids except for cum…love lots of cum shot all over me )…One of the many reasons I love being gay is that there are so many men out there who are more than willing to help make those fantasy’s…realities…So a BIG Thank you to all the many, many men I’ve met over the years who have made sex anything but boring…and to all of those men out there whose paths we haven’t crossed yet… I’m looking forward to making reality out of all those fantasy’s I still have on my list…Diego Sans and The Silver Daddy himself Bill Farnsworth aka President Oaks @ Mormon Boyz…you are BOTH at the top of my list…Did I hear 3way??? You bet ya you did…LOL (and to the uptight sexually closed off reading this…I’m very aware I sound like a big ol’ ho…I plan on taking advantage of every opportunity out there…life is short, grab as much as you can and don’t let go, you never know when you’ll pass this way again.) ✌️

    • private poster

      Why not into WS, hey to me it’s a real turn on to share each others juices. Sex is about sharing each other, so why not share it all. Try it you might actually like it.

  10. biguy

    I fantasize about having hott sex with a fine dude with a huge dick – we could do it all over the house especially on the stairs where I would suck him deep and let him pound my hole as hard and as long as he liked – like a porn star!!! YES!!!!

  11. notsurehere

    WTF, no pets, animals or water sports. Now the others yes. Have tried all one time or another, but DP. Problem with 3 somes or moresomes is sometimes it is odd man out, just watching but still a good time. Have had a maasage that lead to hand job and o that went to getting rimmed, freakin awesome. Good Hunting all.

  12. Dave Bomba

    I thought I would give my opinions about your suggestions for fantasies. I have never done group play and not sure I would have the guts. Also if it was an older an older guy and a hot younger guy that were playing with me I most likely would only want to play with the young stud. I have had offers for a threesome with a guy and girl and never did it.

    Bareback I do not really dream about cause I have done it to other guys but never had it done to me and doubt I ever would. Sounds hot to have a hot load shot in me though.

    I have had several sensual massages and they are nice. Pet Play?
    Double penetration not to me cause I can barely take a cock.
    I have had sex at public places, parks, beach, restrooms and they were good times.
    Water sports not interested.
    I think that hot toys like vibrators stimulators, and Estim could be hot also and I would like to use a sling which seems really hot.

  13. Private Poster

    A big fantasy of mine is trying out some scat play. Don’t know how well I could handle it, but if I turn on enough, it would be the ultimate fantasy come true.

  14. stat

    I fantasize about having hott sex with a fine dude with a huge cock – we could do it on the stairs where I would suck him deep and let him pound my hole as hard and as long as you like –
    like a porn star!!! YES, YES YES!!!

  15. ManMann

    Sex in a OTR sleeper with a raunchy trucker. Taste his piss smelling and stained jock. Clean his dick and funky ass. Let him fuck me. Yes that would work…

  16. Rick

    Yeah, that list is pretty accurate for me! Definitely a group thing is my number one. Combine that with number two and you get me being barebacked repeatedly by a group of men who all blast their loads inside of me! Hot, but incredibly risky and will probably never happen. I have been barebacked when I have found a regular partner to play with and we both got tested.

    I have actually been with a masseur and it turned sensual and then full on super HOT sex!

    Along with the group thing and bareback comes DP!

    However… ZERO interest in water sports!

  17. Ken94110

    Most gay men fantasize about real manly Tops and NOT pseudo-tops or tops who are just tops because anal sex hurts them too much!

  18. Jonathan Adrian Santana

    Wait,…am I thinking the of the correct fantasy with “pet play” or am I completely off base ?…were not talking like sexual abusing animals right ? We mean like pup play and masters type of sexual fantasies ….?

  19. Brandon

    I have some weird fantasies. I fantasize about having a healthy loving long term relationship with a guy who is genuinely interested in me and not just interested in how much money I can spend on him. I fantasize about getting to a man that loves me for me regardless of what size my waist is.

    I know – pretty crazy stuff right!?! #ICanDreamCantI

  20. Libertarian Queer

    I can’t believe this is a question in a headline. Really? We fantasize about DICKS, silly wabbit. Geez…. Well, of course we think of all that you mentioned and more. But, the central theme is a DICK. WE LOVE DICKS!

  21. Jim

    For me, my fantasies almost always involve someone I know that I know is unattainable. It is usually a neighbor or my brother in law or on occasion both! I also tend to fantasize about men in either authority or a uniform. a couple of my fantasies have also been work place related gang bang scenarios.

  22. AmI2Old

    I didn’t know where else to post this and I assume these messages are screened before posted anyway so … I would love to see a blog post about what guys think is the acceptable largest age span between partners. There is a guy I work with who, although nothing serious has happened, he makes me think he is interested … but he is 25 years younger than I. Ugh!! To me it is just rediculous to pursue but am curious what others on here may think.

    • Jim

      Hi ami,

      In my opinion age is a number. If you are attracted to him and he to you give it a whirl. I usually end up with guys that are anywhere from 10 to 15 years older than me and have no complaints about the age difference!

    • David

      You’re never too old if the other man is interested in you. Be glad and go with the mood. If he is seeking, it will be you who he makes his Daddy, or, he’ll find another willing guy. I find lots of young men are really into Daddy play with the salt and pepper set. Enjoy it guys.

    • bjjj

      There is no age limit’s as far as having fun sex with each other. Guys as young as 18 have sex with 80 year olds or older. It’s about enjoying each other, not about the age difference. As it’s said age is just a number.

    • Thomas R. Miller

      My first lover was 25 years my senior. While not for everyone, the possibility is certainly there. You really have nothing to lose.

  23. Friar Chicken

    I had a sensual massage from a “therapist” who was doing it for pleasure. It was great, except I still felt like a piece of meat. All those clients he had were killing his heart, one by one. If you have a lover, take massage training so you can do each other.
    I currently fantasize about taking a job somewhere in Arabia, and having a party where the men take off their clothes and wait for me to have my way with them. Same for Turkey.
    But my greatest fantasy is to meet the man of my dreams, marry and have a happy life together. I think if gay men focused more on their hearts than their cocks, we’d all be a lot happier. And once married, stay faithful!

  24. Keith

    I’m an everyday, motorcycle guy who wears leather all the time. One of my strangest “kinks” that I think about all the time is: I like to wear a garter belt with sexy stockings underneath my leather pants. Nobody has ever seen me dressed this way. When I have sex as a bottom, which happens only when I find a well hung stud, I fantasize that who ever is fucking me is actually fucking my cunt, and my cock is irrelevant.

  25. jon

    Strange but my fantasies involve being caned. I would like to dress as a boy being punished by the teacher. He wil l tel l me about home work not completed or something Im made to bend over a chair with just my underwear on he then pulls my underwear down exposing my naked ass. He then swishes a cane several times so I can hear it but wont know if its a practice swing or real until it lands. He give me 8-10 very hard strokes with the cane leaving marks that last a week. He then makes me stand up and jerk off in front of him. Sometimes he will take his dick out and make me suck him before he canes me

  26. NiceGuyFun

    To find another DL guy who can host regularly that is sane, discreet, clean, friendly and a bottom and very oral. That is the impossible fantasy… LOL

  27. chiefconsultant

    I have been with a group but in bathhouses and adult theaters and played with many men but no cum dump. Still do it. I have had a masseuse jerk me off…he did get naked and showed his nice cock. I have been invited for public car sex and in the woods sex both oral…

    My fantasy combines several of the fantasies. I want to be taken on stage, stripped naked, and used multiple times by guys and even pegged by women. All of this in front of a group of guys and maybe gals too. Does that describe me as a slutty cum dump? I hope so.

  28. Thomas R. Miller

    I have already done all of the above. My biggest fantasy is to redo all of them with a significant other and have him take over for a change.

  29. greg

    i love to suck a black guys cock two guys together would even be beter as long as there talking dirty to me and make me swallowall there cum or shoot it on my lips ans face .

  30. Matt

    I like extreme navel and belly play; extreme play. I would like to find a like minded guy out here who is also into it. If he only want’s to give that works for me. Mutual is more fun but I’d be happy just to have someone to play with from time to time. Maybe someone here will contact me at my kr1_1b at oo hay account and we can discuss it. Northern Wyoming here.

  31. Mikey Loves 269

    I’ve often fantasized about being on my knees for an oral bukkake. Suck as many guys as I can and have their cum all over my face and chest.

    So far my max has been two, but I’m always open to more.

  32. Bob

    I have done some of these. No pee or ws and I am pretty safe, just oral and kissing and rimming most of the time. But I have barebacked and seeded a few men, it was hot and could be addicting so I stopped after 2 weeks and 5 men. But I have had a few since who I barebacked, but have been tested since and am ok. I have had a lot of 3ways and liked them all, esp with one couple for a few years. They were great. I once went to one threeway in all leather, the leader of the two met me in a parking lot and checked me out and I met muster. When I got to their house he had me unzip my pants and walk across their yard with my dick out. That was hot. One sucked my balls and one my dick, both at the same time. Probably my best 3way. I had my last 3way earlier this year, very hot, one on both nipple biting hard, it was great. Love leather, went to LeatherWerks in Fort Lauderdale for a late night party and it was hot, just watched there though. Still want to go to a bathhouse, but have not yet so far. Participate in naked pool parties in Ft Lauderdale, nothing too exiting but still hot and pleasant.

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