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It’s as the title says guys, is it really hard to make other gay friends? 

A user named Unusual-Ladder-6386 on askgaybros brought up this topic mainly because of a tweet he stumbled upon that reads: “Gay men have to pick partners out the same selections we pick friends…. That alone makes it difficult to establish friendships… Everything I want in a friend, is essentially everything I want in a man.”

Further, Unusual-Ladder-6386 said that the tweet has stuck with him ever since. He shared, “I always bring it up when having those ‘why gay men are the way they are’ conversations. It’s a very true statement that unfortunately makes dating/making & maintaining friends even that much more complicated.” 

How true are these statements for you, guys? 

User jeffers8 agrees with the two men above. He explained that “What makes it difficult to make friends with other gay men is saying ‘let’s be friends’ is often taken as ‘I don’t find you attractive enough to fuck.'” He added, “This is why friends with benefits and groups of people who are equally attractive (and fuck on the side) tend to form among gay men, it can be hard to initiate a platonic friendship without some people being offended you don’t want to fuck them.”

Meanwhile, user TB54 begged to differ. Referring to this statement specifically: “Everything I want in a friend, is essentially everything I want in a man,” he pointed out, “That’s really not the same thing for me.” He continued, “And it doesn’t solve the question of desire anyway: I have gay very close friends I have absolutely 0 desire for.” 

It’s a sentiment that was shared by user 1ce_dragon who said: “Ditto. I find my gay close friends attractive physically and they have a great personality, but I have absolutely zero desire to fuck them.” He explained that his partner may not be that physically attractive but he is the only guy that he wants to be intimate with physically. He elaborated, “The love and chemistry between us definitely makes the difference between a partner and a good friend.” 

All that being said, is it hard for you also to make friends with other gay men, guys? Why or why not? Are you like others who lose their close gay friends because of their inability to draw a line between friendship and sexual attraction? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below. 

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