Speak Out: Ten Brilliant Answers to “Why Are You Single?”

So, why are you still single? 

How often do you get asked this question guys and how do you answer friends and family members when they ask you this? We are talking about this topic because we hear this question often enough during family and high school/college reunions or even during intimate gatherings with friends that it has become the dreaded question of all time. Maybe that’s an exaggeration but gosh, even strangers online ask this. 

I guess what irks people about this seemingly innocent question is how it somehow suggests that being single is wrong, which of course, is not. Anyway, we took to Reddit to check how netizens respond whenever they encounter this question. Take a look at some of their clever one-liner answers below which are sometimes funny but at the same time, are dashed with a bit of truth.  

  1. Why are you in a relationship? 
  2. I won’t settle for a mistake.
  3. I just am.
  4. Because I haven’t found the right one just yet.
  5. Because I’m not really into you.
  6. Why should I not be single?
  7. Nobody can afford me.
  8. I do a credit check first.
  9. Because dates always end up resembling job interviews which is a huge turn off.
  10. I’d rather be single and happy than be in a relationship but miserable.

There you go, guys! And here is a bonus; a response I heard from my college professor in marketing which I thought was brilliant: “Because I have not found my market yet.”

What about you, how do you answer this question? Sound off in the comments section below.

There are 42 comments

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  1. Nathan


    Regardless of how long you are with someone; someone dies first and the other someone remains.

    Hence, that someone is alone…so, what is the point? Be your own best friend; have affairs; pay your own bills; enjoy your own company.

    When death comes, it didn’t/doesn’t matter who you were with; you die alone; you only need someone to put you into the Earth.

    You will never know who visited/visits your Grave. And, after all who knew you dies, no one will ever know you existed!

    • InValparaiso

      Nathan, your comment makes me so sad. Life should be lived to its fullest, be it with someone or by yourself; although it is awesome to create memories with someone. And just like the theoretical butterfly effect, what you do puts in place events that will effect generations to come, even if you aren’t here to see them. For me, I choose to focus on an amazing life rather than my final breath on this earth. Perhaps I read your comment wrong, and if so I do apologize, but it just came off to me as so hopeless.

      • Nathan


        i appreciated your comments. I was in the Military for 38 years.

        I have a certain way of looking at life…since, I saw far too many lives taken so, unpleasant as it appears to be, I am a realistic.

        Life is how you choose to live it.

        • isoltrjock

          Yeah, it is depressing…and one of the most depressing topics I’ve seen on A4A. “…put you in the Earth.”? Your body may go in the earth; your soul and spirit live on. “No one knew you even existed”? Impossible. This post sounds like a suicide note.
          It’s no wonder that atheists commit suicide at a higher rate than the general population. Atheists who are single and live alone are probably most at risk for suicide. Living alone past a certain age (65?) is hazardous in many ways.
          Regarding this topic as a whole, it is depressing because it reflects the dysfunctional nature of the gay scene. The comment about gay men not wanting to date is spot on. Not wanting to date is pathological in my opinion. About the only thing not depressing about this topic is the dude in the briefs and white crew socks.

          • Nathan


            George Washington was born 22 February. 1732 and died, 14 December, 1799.

            He was 67 years of age. He has been dead, virtually 220 years. Is living just 67 years but being dead virtually 220 not an absurdity?

            Who put him into the ground? His wife, Martha, a Human Being who, she, herself, died in 1801.

            Who remembers the Human Being? No one… because everyone who knew George is also dead.

            What is remembered is what he did but no who he was. That is reality… .

            Next time, you read a blog, use what is between your ears and not what hangs between your legs…you might learn something?

  2. Hunter0500

    Response: (in a friendly tone and with a smile) “You know? That’s one of those questions that really should not be asked.”

    Only people who qualify as “total jackwagons” would ever ask a question that personal, that insensitive, and that insulting. People with no sense of manners. The very reason they don’t know why you aren’t in a relationship is the very same reason they have no reason know…they don’t know you well. If their nose gets out of joint over your answer, hey, it’s their nose…their choice.

    Now, not to say if you brought the topic of Mr. Right up, they’d be able to discuss if you were looking for a Him as well as what you were looking for in a Him. Fair game.

    But to broadside someone? No.

    And we’re the very people who can help the “jackwagons” learn.

  3. Scott

    I suppose it’s a turnoff to other guys when I tell them that I’m single because my husband was murdered by a meth head. He was “The One”, and that was taken from me, so I probably shouldn’t do that if I want to meet and date guys.

    • David

      I’m very sorry that happened. I would suggest not mentioning it until you get to know the other person. It would freak me out and I’m very accepting. I would not know what to say other than I’m sorry. That’s what I’d do, however, I’d never ask the question in the first place. I’m very sorry for your loss. I hope you find peace.

    • Nathan


      I, too, am sorry for what befelled your Love.

      He lives within you. Remember him well, and if there is both a God and an Afterlife, he is already with you.

      I lost my Love on a Battlefield, in 1967.

        • Nathan


          Well-written; yet, simply stated!

          Nice to read a comment by someone who obviously has more between his ears than what hangs between his legs!

          WIlfred Owen wrote of the same realization in his WWI. poetry.


    How about “Because I decided to quit after the last a’hole bf who I managed to not murder in his sleep ‘or in his awake!!! Im too pretty to go to jail”!!!

  5. Ben

    Because boyfriends are like boats; expensive, time-consuming, and major upkeep. It’s rather enjoy a ride on someone else’s once in awhile and let their BF do all the work.

  6. Matt

    I say “Why do I want to be tied to someone’s bullshit and then have him sue me for half of my money when we divorce?”

  7. Jer

    Well I have to say
    And wanted to comment to a lot of the 7 comments so far here
    Ht sounds like a lot of your jaded and it sounds like a lot have been involved with people that probably weren’t “ the one “
    And even as much of a romantic as I might be I don’t believe that her natural one I think there are people that you can be wet and there are multiple possibilities out there but wouldn’t you want just one person and see how it goes and see your way through years after and end up together for decades
    I’m sorry for the loss of some that sounds like death & murder and others that do drug use abuse and etc … overall just not good people
    But I will say this -this comes from somebody who believes in romance -believes in love
    I’ve been single for 10 years my last ex was an amazing guy but things just wasn’t going well and it’s when they all wait economy tanked here in the United States but around the world and we were left in a place where we wasn’t really seem each other we had some issues that we were still dealing with and we just felt it best to part I handed up taking a job down in Las Vegas is where he is live since then I’m happy for him I am kind of under the Impression he has a boyfriend As we still communicate and he just doesn’t want to divulge it but you know I’m happy for him he’s a great guy is good-looking he’s charming he was always sweet and one of the only exercise I’ve ever kept in contact with previous ones of come from abuse of backgrounds their abuse of children or there was abuse and relationships with other people and they thought they were going to bring it into one with me and I’m not having it
    & there’s are some other determining factors for myself
    but I just want a nice guy and I just want a fun guy
    -somebody that I can wake up to next to you every day go to bed with
    and all of the snarky comments about
    why would anyone want to give them half in a divorce or put up with someone’s nonsense
    well to me
    you all are looking at a relationship in a really bad light because if you’re with a anything but a really nice person or at least decent . ( we do all have our flaws and quirks – you’re not perfect so how can you expect that from anyone else ) don’t sweat stuff
    and if you’re with a really decent guy
    Then that doesn’t have to be the case and be honest and realistic

    it’s like this – I’ll even say it
    it’s hard to be with anyone at times
    Hell my last ex
    we still communicate and I think he’s got someone m& maybe he just doesn’t want to divulge it but you know
    I’m happy for him
    he’s a great guy
    Hes very good-looking
    He’s charming he’s one they still cares & he was always sweet and one of the only exes that
    I’ve ever kept in contact with – previous ones to him had come from abusive backgrounds
    Either abuse as children or there was abuse in relationships with other people and they thought they were going to bring it into one with me
    Sorry- I’m not having that ….
    there’s some other determining factors for myself but I always ever wanted just a nice guy and
    I just could want a fun guy too
    somebody that I can wake up to -wake up next to every day
    go to bed with d still think wow he’s amazing
    and to address all of the snarky comments about why would I want that
    Rather than to one comment I seen above
    “Why? – only to give them half in a divorce or put up with their nonsense”
    well to me you
    all of you thinking in such a way
    You’re all looking at a relationship in a really bad light because if you’re with a really nice person
    Even if you’re with a just decent guy
    that doesn’t have to be the case and it’s like this
    I’ll say it —……it’s hard to be with another anyone
    I think of some questions I’ve had asked over the years
    Like what’s it like to be with a guy it’s no different
    then I hetero relationship or any other type minus multiple people Listen -you’re still dealing with another human being and if there’s problems … do you think you make it decades together by throwing in the towel. Or stick it out work together
    In the best and worst of any relationship
    Can you – at the end of the day
    … if you can look at them and think gosh this person is amazing still and even if there’s crap going on – are they worth it and if they are
    , & are they there for you
    are you there for them and what is the overall sum of your relationship and if it’s generally good
    Why wouldn’t you want that
    So to those of you who ARE & had jaded and horrible relationships
    I challenge all of you to this
    To give somebody a chance
    Go in it with out as least baggage and otherwise from previous exes

    Do not be so shallow

    Do think under this impression that they’re expensive and all these other analytical or other comparisons like one
    – like “ to like a boat as I read in one comment above or another
    “ I’m too pretty to go to jail because you want to murder them in their sleep “
    that tells me you’re not looking at somebody that’s worthwhile or dare I say bad apple
    and I – Myself ,have never had any kind of relationship that is anything close to that
    I’ve met some amazing guys and I’ve been with some amazing guys and I think just because of some of their issues
    I opted out but at the same time
    I still believe in love and I still believe in a possible relationship that can last longer than one night stand or a couple months because I’m not some shallow egotistical bitchy cunty gay boy who’s only out for himself or for a hookup
    or thinks that you have to engage in all kinds of stupid gay boy behavior like hook up sex and orgies and “onto the next “ and the always looking for
    “Next best thing “ kind of attitude. Because if that is what you’re about
    Sorry but you’ll never find anything long lasting in love and you’ll never have or be with anybody for a very long and it’s too bad that gay boys especially buy into any of that crap
    and what doesn’t help as well
    All of your “open relationships or married ,committed and your fuck around on your partner or vice versa or both”
    because nobody ever said that a committed actual relationship was all inclusive of other people beyond just two people
    Forgive , Love , chances , consideration Forgive , Don’t sweat the small stuff keep things simple open lines of communication whether it’s good or bad because at the end of the day you might find yourself with somebody for decades and that would mean you’re actually are all able to be in love with one person for that long
    My wish is Love to all – hope we all can find that with a special amazing someone
    It’s worth it !!

    • jadedashell

      You sound more like a female living in a fantasy world. There is no such thing as ‘love’. Something made up by writers and the movie industry.

  8. David

    Because I like sitting in my underwear and farting on my couch. I’m very straight that way..
    Because too many people have restraining orders out against me.
    Because I’m a jerk and nobody likes me.
    Because that funky rash never subsided and the docs still can’t figure out what caused it.
    Because I’m only allowed out on a day pass.
    Because I only ever meet dumb f$#ks who ask me the same exact same question.
    Because I’m so hung that nobody can take it. (The least effective one, I reckon.)

  9. ityguyUSA

    It’s the same answer regardless of what they say. The real answer in their head is, “I haven’t found the underwear model that will meet my expectations of perfection”.

  10. BRAD

    wait… you’re asking geeks on Reddit what they say when people ask them why they are single and they don’t say, “because I am a geek on Reddit”? Something is wrong with the data…

  11. Bradq

    When someone asks you why you are (still) single, just take the compliment. They are asking for one of two reasons: First, they are concerned about your happiness (rightly or wrongly) or they think you are a great person and you should be with another great person.

    • Dave

      Maybe… but why would someone would have “to be with another person” ?
      I personally don’t like the compromise of being with another person…
      I do like to share things with another person (travels, dinners, etc) but I can also do that with a very good friend.

      • Nathan


        I do agree with you as my prior posts portents.

        You can choose to be with someone, anyone, if you want but it isn’t a prerequisite to happiness.

  12. wesley

    There is a flip side to #10 “I’d rather be single and happy than be in a relationship but miserable.” I know of two long term couples who are not suited for each other. One from each couple, complains to me about their relationship, a lot. So, I asked why they are still together? Their answer was “I’d rather be in a bad relationship, than none at all. ” Yikes !



    • Ben

      Good for you for being open about it. I’d never marry anyone who was not agreeable to the aide that we are not going to be exclusive forever. I think that idea has destroyed more than a few heterosexual marriages.

  14. Wayne

    Can’t find a true non flamboyant fem who I don’t have to convince that I’m sincere. Forty five years of only wanting fems and transgenders isn’t a fantasy. All i ever get is someone masculine wanting sex ONLY. Not into masculine, handsome or hairy.

  15. SouthernBoiSB

    Because what kind of guy I’m looking for isn’t the kind of guy looking for me. What does make me sad are those talking about being with somebody for years (or more) while my longest rlnshp. was ~6-9 months.

  16. SouthernBoiSB

    Nice to see you posted this topic on my bd.
    Which, BTW, had an ex dump me via a “Dear John” E-Mail on my bd.

  17. Jim

    Heh heh! Back when I was marriageable age, I was asked that question a lot, mostly by mothers looking to matchmake for their daughters or their friends’ daughters. It was back in the day before it would have been socially acceptable to say “Because she doesn’t have a cock!” or “Guys can’t marry guys!”

  18. J D Garner

    I only ask this question if I’m interested in that individual in an intimate way. It’s a pertinent question. However, it may be less egregious to ask someone if they’d like to have a drink or coffee (now or later). If they say Yes, it still doesn’t answer the underlying question, “Are you Single.” which might also mean “Are you available?”. Not the same thing. Honesty is the best policy.

  19. Stephen

    “I’m on a break.” Which is true. I Was in a 5 year relationship an after it ended, I dated a couple guys and it didn’t click so I took a dating break. It has been 21 years now, so I doubt I will ever have another BF or husband. It’s actually now to the point where my head doesn’t even go to the dating place. I was on a date last August–it was one of those “where a friend and I were headed somewhere and “…we’re going to meet my friends” dates where his friends happen to have brought a single guy along. I didn’t even realize it was a date until 6 mos later when.

  20. jim

    My best way up thinking about it. When you are in a relationship you are happy one half of the time and mad the other half. When you are single you are happy half the time and lonely the other half. So you trade loneliness for anger same difference to me. You are still happy half the time

  21. Lamar

    I wasn’t always, however, I’m single now, smarter/older about ‘who’ I am to me and because of that, I choose to be single, until, he and I; someone where “we’re worthy” of one another can make a go of it. It’s about the right dynamics at the right time…

    However, gay men are their own worst enemy, always reacting sexually first…to many just never learn.

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