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What are the worst phrases you’ve ever read on someone else’s dating profile, guys?
The peeps on AskGaybrosOver30 are spilling the beans on what makes them avoid a person based on the dating profile descriptions they’ve read. A certain user named Fortingbascoban asked: “What dating profile descriptions do you find off-putting when reading someone’s profile?”
There’s nothing like great examples of what’s bad and off-putting when it comes to dating profile descriptions in order to get your point across so he then went on to cite samples. Take a look below at his personal list:
I am very smart and expect the same.
I am not here to deal with your mental illness.
What happened to gays these days? Why is everyone so horrible?
If you want me, you have to be good with following up and texting me back.
He added, “I don’t mean obvious things like Masc4Masc. I’m talking about statements that give away more about the negativity projected by the person than they think.”
Some respondents like user Isimagen agreed; he said, “Profiles that list all the things they don’t want are a giant warning in my opinion, especially if they’re nasty: ‘No fats, no fems, no rice, no spice’ and things like that. It is a blessing in a way to have the trash take itself out like that and self-identify.”
Another user, maxdefacto, explainedthat he can “see both sides to this coin.” He shared that he was together with someone for 7 years, who ended up cheating on him and leaving him so he learned exactly what he wanted out of his next relationship. These, he said, included: financial stability, good sense of humor, etc., but also physical traits that he finds attractive. He added, “I know the world doesn’t like to hear it, but you can’t fuck someone’s personality. If you aren’t physically attracted to a person, you’re not going to enjoy the sex if you’re able to have it at all.”
Isimagen clarified his response to maxdefacto saying that he has “absolutely no issues with people having preferences or even requirements.”
He said that it all boils down to how people present themselves in the process, “So for me, if you’re listing negatives, you’re not worth my time. List the positives. ‘No fats’ could instead be: ‘Fit guys please’ or what have you. List the things you like and the things you’re looking for rather than a laundry list of what you are against.”
Isimagen further explained: “It’s a subtle difference in the end; but, to me, it denotes someone who is more positive in general. I can’t stand arrogance. There’s a difference between arrogance and confidence and one of the determiners to me is how you walk the line on something like this.”
User tinysideburns on the other hand, said, “Equally, when guys put things that come off as super defensive in their profiles. Sentences like ‘don’t waste my time if…;’ ‘I’m so sick of…;’ etc. It’s weird approaching someone when they’re on the defensive from jump street.”
Here are other dating profile descriptions that the gay men on Reddit say they dislike and we quote:
- “I’m just a guy who happens to like guys.”
- “I’m not like other gays”
- “I’m not into the gay scene.”
- “I have a fine tuned bullshit detector.”
- “I don’t play games.”
- “I don’t do drama/I hate drama.”
- “Be patient. I have a demanding professional life and receive a lot of messages on here.”
- “Can you keep up?” / “Looking for someone who can keep up with me”
- “I hate filling these out, just message me.” User NYArtFan1 explained he dislikes this phrase because in his experience, “attempting to have a conversation with people like that is like pulling teeth, and tends to go nowhere.”
- “Bored.” According to user pickle-runch, “Only boring people get bored.” He added, “We’re adults, (you) should have figured out a way to stimulate yourself by now. (I’m) Not interested in being entertainment for a boring person.”
And there you go, guys! Those are just some of the worst lines they’ve mentioned. Having said all that, we’ve talked about it extensively before here on the blog, how to have a dating profile that grabs attention, that is.
For one, we’ve reminded you time and again to put a face pic on your profile and to make sure everything in it is current. Filling out all the parts of your profile so you’ll be searchable in our app is also important, as does writing an actual icebreaker as this makes it easier for guys to find something to talk to you about, etc. Read the tips on how to improve your dating profile that we’ve written in the past for you here, here, and here in case you’ve missed them.
Anyway, what about you, guys? What are the worst lines you’ve ever read on someone else’s dating profile that make you want to ignore them? Don’t forget to share it with us on the comments section below!
“VGL for VGL”. Especially when a profile has no picture. “Very good looking” is highly subjective. If that’s where a guy’s mindset really is, he’s done everyone a favor by stating it and revealing some deep information about himself.
9 times out of 10, guys that say they are VGL or GL are usually butt dog ugly.
I dont know why people say they are very good looking. Being good looking is so subjective!
darn! all this time I thought it meant Venti/Grande/Latte
If you are actually VGL, the whole world will let you know…
as they say opposites attract. Trying to date gay men in general is a challenge. It’s not easy, and it’s no wonder why so many of us stay single for long periods of time. In my experience gay men are probably the most superficial gender I’ve ever encountered. Gay men don’t make it easy to approach them or to work with. Unless you look like Brad Pitt or Orlando Bloom. If any man can’t accept you in the beginning with the way you look, then consider it a blessing. They’re either with you short term to parade you around or… Read more »
THANK YOU for saying all that!
You’re very welcome I meant every word. Being a gay man myself is hard enough as it is at times. The last thing another gay man needs is another gay man putting him down. Over the years I’ve seen a lot has changed with the LGBT community & not so much for the good. I see, I hear, & I myself go through these daily challenges myself like some of you have faced. Instead of complaining about it. I always ask myself “ when will the gay community evolve to be better”? We all want someone to love, & to… Read more »
The worst thing I ever read in a dating profile was “no blacks”.
agree. Please report them to our support team
How about no anything white, Asian Arabs Desi the list goes on
agree.
Actually the only reason I replied to no blacks with how about No Whites Asians etc, was to show you couldn’t mention one group without mentioning others. That said this is a sex site i don’t get particularly upsat when someone says, no Blacks, Whites etc. This isn’t a housing or job application. If you have a pro ad on here then you should be equal opportunity. If you are offering a service you have to offer to all. Sex is personal you are either into someone or you are not. Instead of saying no whatever say that you are… Read more »
As a black man, I can’t tell you the number of times I had someone say, “You’re cute for a black guy.” I know they think they’re giving me a compliment and I try to be polite about it, but that is just an incredibly racist thing to say to someone. I chalk that up with “Whites only” or “I’m not racist but…” Having a preference is fine, we all have them. However, when you put a blanket statement on it and immediately eliminate someone based on the color of their skin…that makes you a racist, even if you’re unconsciously… Read more »
SMH, either a guy is hot, attractive, or not. WTF does race have to do with it? Sorry you have encountered that, it is so ridiculous. For a group that has had such a hard fight to try to achieve equality, we have so many members in the community that are racist and don’t even realize it, and that are just terrible to one another.
Well, if you think a bit more about it, you will realize that someone isn’t racist simply because they aren’t typically attracted to <insert almost anything here, including race>. If it were true, then wouldn’t gays be sexist for not being attracted to females? It is completely true, however, that following a compliment with a qualifier (i.e. “for a …”) completely negates the compliment. Because what gets the attention is not the compliment anymore but that this person has announced that they are not typically attracted to <insert qualifier here>. “You are so hot for an older guy.” “You are… Read more »
So true, this article did not hit that point
Is “No Blacks” really different than “no one over 55” or “no one over 200 pounds” or “no twinks or fems” or any biases over physical traits? They’re all anti someone based upon their physical, genetic make up. Conditions beyond their control. Yes, the “PC Crowd” will set off sirens over race. That’s only a part of the equation. “No Blacks” could easily mean not being attracted to larger, muscular guys with thick facial features and 8+ inch cocks. Physical bias, not racial. Perhaps a good start would be to look at our profiles and be sure we’re stating positively… Read more »
Yes – there is a difference between No Blacks and “No twinks”; in that one group has significant historical oppression.
I will say that I agree that it is better to say what you are into, then to be negative and only talk about what you are not into.
On one hand I agree. But on the other hand, I don’t want people pretending to be nicer than they are. When I read “no <anything>” and similar negative verbiage, I know I don’t want anything to do with that person, even if I am not on the exclusion list. I actually appreciate people who are crude and superficial revealing that in their words. It saves me from possibly finding out later when the mask comes off.
What?!!! I think your trivializing-negating, what Dhenz said frankly, firstly “all black men are most certainly not, large-muscular, thick facial features, 8+ dicks” that in it self is VERY racist thing to have said, (eye-roll). That’s tantamount to saying we’re all the same isn’t it, as it refers to African Americans?
That’s like ‘me’ sayin’ all white men have tiny dicks and are all bottoms, loose-asses, have no lips or chicken- lipped at best, flat-asses etc., see how fucked-up that sounds?
Try again, please, dig yourself out of that.
Here is a harsh reality that your statements do not address: The police don’t generally go gunning down people because they are “over 55” or “over 200 pounds” or “twinks”. Now maybe they might if one is “fem”. But here is a fact: Between the point that the Derek Chauvin trial jury was selected and the trial actually began, and the time that the trial was concluded, over 200 more black people were gunned down (as in to death) by the police. It is a very fearful thing to not be perceived as “white” in this country. I observe that… Read more »
Being Black with a racial preference for Blacks it doesn’t bother me. I understand how they feel. Although I dont state my racial preference in my ad. I just limit my nessages and responses to other Black men.
What trips me out are Black men who specify a preference for other races. And even weider are ads that dont list race. I don’t care how un prejudice you claim you are, race matters.
I think it’s all in how it is stated. A flat “no blacks” or “no whatever race” sounds racist AF.
I have found guys hot in every race and in between. If you are hot in my book you are hot! Hot is not only physical features. If you want to talk about real differences then look at the digestive track from a genetic point of view and the composition of our gut biome. Race does not matter to me at all. Personality and values matter but are not always easy to ascertain from a dating profile.
I get lots of really hot guys from other states and countries contacting me. They have some of these red flags in their profiles, meanwhile they are talking about wanting or and basicaly wanting a long distance relationship which is useless. If they’re so wonderful why are they contacting an old fat bald guy with an amputation that lives across the country from them? Don’t get me wrong, some guys may be into that but I ain’t stupid. They want to scam me or move in.
OMG, I get them too, even though I state I’m into men my age, I know they’re just trying to scam me. And I mean the lay-on the bullshit really sweet and sugary too, lmao!
“straight acting”
“clean” relative to HIV status. Having HIV is not dirty.
That is one of my biggest pet peeves, and I am negative. I have ripped guys over that, and they try to defend it!
Maybe not dirty, but not good either.
Hard to believe I’m the first comment. I find what that what the article defines as bad to berevwaling and a way to weed out the trash,users, and parasites.
It all boils down to the maturity level, and honestly these days some seem to be dumb as lamp post. I.E. I have a set age level, and travel distance in my profile and one “kid” 26 years of age got made at me when I wouldn’t come to his place to “play”. Well I found, he lives with his grandmother and the asshat wanted me to drive 74 miles, and get this “Sneak into my bedroom window”. How many red flags did he throw up with that comment, then proceeded to call me everything in the book when I… Read more »
Maturity, I’m not sure. I used to think that things got better as I got older, and then realize that the same assholes at age 25 are now assholes at age 35.
Jim, I think I may have been contacted by the same person. lol Wanted me to drive 120 miles and climb in a bedroom window at midnight. No piece of ass is worth risking getting shot.
Oh, fergodsake. No wonder nobody can get or keep anyone. Everyone wants perfection and seems to think anything less is just garbage. We, as a community need to f*ing grow up.
Settle if you have too. I didn’t.
I don’t trust ads that claim qualities that are better demonstrated than claimed. “I’m for real” “I’m sincere”. Etc. I answered an ad where the guy claimed he believes in being for real and doesn’t tolerate BS. But during our first conversation he admitted he was really 10 years older than he claimed in his ad and his pics were old. Huh!? WTF Or guys that say they dont respond to blank profiles. If you don’t then just don’t. Why bother stating it? The guys so preoccupied about opening pictures bug me too. “Open your pics when messaging me or… Read more »
I HATE IT when I see ‘Be sexually clean’ – which we all know what that means…. HIV-stigma at it ONGOING BEST.
Sure typhoid Mary…
I know a 44 year old guy on here that lives with his best friend. He’s a dead beat dad of 3 kids. He don’t have driver’s license or a car. Heavy drinker, smoker and drug user. He’s profile states that he’s only interested in sexy, good-looking, well built guys. How dare you be choicy and you have nothing!!!
Fake it till you make it ?
What’s so funny about the article, it does not hit the point where you see on so many profiles saying no Black or Asian men..
Also, making friends is hard as well. That’s another issue.
Right? They won’t even be your friend if they don’t find you hot enough.
The worst line is NO line…I don’t like playing 20 questions! Just fill out the damn profile!
Empty profiles mean to me he’s either not very intelligent or he just wants to play games surfing ads with no intention of meeting anybody.
I hate when they use 69 as their age too.That’s so fkn lame.
“You won’t be disappointed” ALWAYS have been. Stop reading when you see this phrase
Like the guys that say no drama. 99% of the time, they are the biggest drama queens.
They know nothing about good advertising.
Where to start?
A long list of demands, requirements, likes, or dislikes.
No blacks.
No whatever race of choice.
When a guy states what he is looking for, and it’s pretty much his clone.
I’m clean, you be clean too.
NO AIDS/POZ!
The list just goes on and on.
I am a bottom and on PrEP. I will date or sleep with undetectable guys. Undetectable means untransmittable. Some guys don’t just need a clue, they need to be run the f*ck over by the clue bus.
The more info a person states about their “likes and dislikes” the better. Even if it’s rude. It helps weed out personalities you don’t want to associate with. Saves time. I would rather know who a person is (their values, etc) than have them pretend, so the PC police aren’t offended.
One that I’ve been seeing lately…”No conservatives” I want to respond with, “Okay Mr. Open Mind!” When you start bringing politics into the bedroom, you’ve already lost.
Sorry, but I agree with the No conservatives. Republican and gay does not go together. The GOP continues to discriminate and I have no use for self loathing gays, especially those that supported Trump. Make sure the door hits your ass on the way out.
Just because someone is conservative doesn’t mean they are Republican. However, your response does prove my point. Now take your all encompassing brush and go paint somewhere else.
this obsession with Republicans and Trump from ppl whose political opinions are solely formed off viral tweets and other politically ignorant ppl is… ignorant. I find it hilarious how ppl want to assume the worst of most of ppl across the aisle and everything must be fact checked while anyone that agrees with them they see as a saint and is to be taken at face value, AND DONT SCRUTINIZE US. Very convenient place to draw the lines Mind you subsets of ppl on both sides of the political aisle do this and its just as ignorant. But plz dont… Read more »
Yeah but you know, I’m not fucking someone whom possibly voted to have my rights taken away because I’m black even though ‘we’ found each other fuckable. But ‘you’ (Rep) were just gettin’ your “jungle-fever” on, “cause I’m attractive for a black man.” FYI: that usually means “this black man has white enough features,” just so people get that, I’m aware of the narcissisms, lmao! They just love to see their own genotype within people of color, lmao! Having said that, it doesn’t mean the dems are not racist either, I’m from (blue) Minnesota, so I know whereof I speak,… Read more »
LOL! I have sex with literally hundreds of Beautiful Black men. Do you have any Idea how many wanted to engage in politically incorrect role play? Fu.. your N…. It boggled my mind and made me feel used and disrespected for my race,,,(just kidding, it was hot).
Attitudes like yours are the reason why the country is in the shape it’s in. Though I’m not tRump supporter, I believe that a good economy is good for everybody – especially gays and gay businesses. Try listening to the other side and be open minded – I do – no one party has all the answers.
Troy, you said nothing of people of color, most notably “black people” so, “it’s attitudes like yours” actually, why the country is in the place that it is, ’cause of “the browning of America” all of this white nationalism is rearing it’s ugly-ass head. The economy has not worked for everyone, as on avg., black families have only 1/10 the net-worth of white families. I was watching “Independent Lens” on Ch2 the segment was about “women in blue” women cops in Minneapolis, Minn., they actually said in bold block letters, “Minnesota is the 2nd most difficult state for blacks in… Read more »
You know what’s funny. I met a guy here, we chatted online, met, had a very nice afternoon date, so nice we spent the night together. The next day we get around to politics and all of a sudden I’m a no good sob because I didn’t vote the way he expected me to. REALLY? I’m a great guy until politics gets mentioned? GTFO.
For real, I have witnessed the dumpster fire “progressives” have created in San Francisco. It’s a nightmare and people are waking up to the truth and now are getting rid of crazy ideologues like Chesa Boudin and his criminal empowerment agenda.
This is exactly why A LOT of self proclaimed gays AVOID other gays and search for bi/straight men or men who avoid gay life yet also have mansex. This article pointed out why gays are considered pests and bitches. What the article fails to explain is that many of those statements almost HAVE TO BE SAID because so many gays will get on ones nerves just to hookup OR hooking up with an ‘OUT’ GAY can be overwhelming when you’re not AS GAY as your date. If these statements aren’t said in the profile, one will constantly keep meeting these… Read more »
Your reply resonates with me. I’ve not had much to do with the “Gay community” since moving to S. Florida, for those points you covered, it’s pretty toxic here, a real mess. They really are ignorant in ways they’re just not aware of and in denial of as well as being very defensive about. There’s an exclusively gay ‘affluent’ neighborhood here, I live just outside of which I call a ghetto even though mostly ‘exclusively white’, why? More than half of the gay men are HIV+, there’s rampant alcohol/drug abuse, notoriously non- monogamous = a troublesome lifestyle in my book.… Read more »
LMAO, having read all of these comments-testimonies, the majority of you got thumbs-up, lol, however, I don’t hear anyone complaining about someone older men stating a preference for older men, good! As for stating a preference for “clean?” I did not put it that way, “I’m looking for someone HIV-, STD- like myself, if there is such anymore”. . . I do not and will not apologize for that! Firstly I think most people realize by now, men are very predatory, lets just start with that, ok, they will tell you ANYTHING those that are sociopathic, which are many. Also,… Read more »
“I am 100% clean and intend to stay that way” “Straight acting” “Safe only! but prefer bareback” There are too many disqualifying statements to numerate …. “versatile but I do not top/bottom” LOL
“White men only.” When I see it even if I am not interested in the poster, I immediately BLOCK.
“I’m not into chatting”? – So what are you doing on a dating site? “We’re in a monogamous relationship, but open to play occasionally” – That’s beautiful. Ahhm, what…? “Looking for fun” – Try at 6 Flags park “Let’s chat and see what happens.” – I see 2-lines messages on my screen in a generic SanSerif font. What do you see? “Down to Earth guy” – E.T.? Is that you? “I’m D&D free” – Damn it, I have a great Elf character, in level 23, with a sword +20 against Orcs… How about Mage Wars? “My wife knows” – Knows… Read more »
My favorite ones are the UB2ers. HIV Neg UB2. Project much?
I’m sitting here thinking about the many things that people do or say now, and how different things were when I “came out” in the 1980’s. I don’t recall ever having a top, bottom or vers checklist to qualify a potential BF. Porn was rented on VCR tapes or a movie projector and lube was either vaseline or crisco or baby oil. We met people the old fashioned way-in person. usually at a bar or a mall. A date was a date, dinner was still a “thing” and phones were at home connected to a hard wire, were usually white… Read more »
“I’m masculine” or “Only interested in other masculine men.” I have NO idea what that means. “Masculine” is one of those overused, trite words which has lost all meaning. Like sexuality, it’s a fluid term. What is “masculine” to one person may or may not be “masculine” to the next person. “BBC.” Do white (or black) men believe this an attractive word to use when trying to hook up with black men? I can’t comment on the origination of this acronym, but whoever uses it (black, white, asian, latino, etc.), is stupid. (You can overcome ignorance. Stupidity is forever.) “Party.”… Read more »
I agree.i personally find it aggravating that someone will assume all black men have ginormous penises.they always asks how hung are you”(im only average sized,I guess) or “you have bbc”?.those questions ill usually ignore or if I do respond and say im average,never hear from them again.lol.
I know everyone is “down to earth” and “easy to get along with”. Haha. But I don’t mind people listing preferences. Being on these apps takes up a lot of time. These preferences saves some time whether you like them or not.
If you have to beg for dates online…. well you are not off to a good start.
“I’m am all-American guy looking for same” What the fuck does that even mean?!? Also hate “looking for younger” but they don’t show their age or face.
oh and my all time hate “looking for BBC”. As a black man I get hit with EVERY sterotype and sexual fantasy/fetish on a daily. (can’t tell you how many times I’ve been ask THAT question by white bottoms.)
TBH if you have anything stating you only like ____ type of guys I’ll probably block you. no time for narrow minds.
I wouldn’t call this “a phrase”, but saw an ad “only wanting white twink, 6′ tall, 23 years old, blonde/blue with at least 7″”.
I keep wondering if he ever found someone who fit that description.