(Photo Credits: Peter Selbach from Pixabay)
Where are you from guys and is there a shortage of tops in your area?
Before you answer that question though, just in case you live under a rock and you’re only hearing about these terms for the first time—top, bottom, vers, and side are merely sex positions during sexual intercourse. Bottom is the “receiver,” top is the “giver,” vers is actually short for versatile and is called as such because it means that the guy is willing to be either the “giver” or the “receiver” during anal sex. Side, on the other hand, is “a gay man who does not partake in anal-penetrative sex; a gay man who enjoys all aspects of intercourse with the exception of anal penetration,” according to Urban Dictionary.
Anyway, we are bringing up this topic because we often stumble upon discussion threads that bemoan how “tops are like a rare commodity” and how it “seems like everyone is a bottom.” There was even an article in New York Magazine way back in 2003 titled “Who’s On Top” where one of the interviewees declared that “New York is a bottom town.”
Do you agree with that last statement, guys? Would you say that your town is a bottom town as well?
Some of the respondents online begged to disagree and said that “tops aren’t rare” and that they “never had an issue finding tops.” Another one pointed out that it’s because there are a lot of “sides” now while another said, “Because through time we, as a community, are getting over these top and bottom only roles. I find more verse guys which is awesome. Embrace change!”
Having said all that, how true is the claim that there are more tops than bottom and how true is that statement here on Adam4Adam? Do you think that these sex positions are still relevant today? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below and don’t forget to answer our survey while you are at it! And oh, did you know that you can search for tops, bottoms, versatile or anything else for free using the filters on Adam4Adam? Well now you know! Enjoy!
The options were too limited. I’m vers/bttm but if I never topped again I would be fine with that. I do enjoy fucking a good ass from time to time, especially if I am with a guy that wants to keep flipping during our session.
Why is there never any recognition that not all “Gay Males” engage in Anal Sex?
Why is it always proclaimed that Anal Sex is universal amongst the Gay Community? There are many, many, many of us who have never engaged in “Buggery.”
This is another myth perpetuated by those who should know better or who try to justify their practice in Anal Sex. This is tantamount to “All Gays Role Play”?
I think the article covered this aspect. Called Side.
males both gay/bi/straight engage in anal sex 1. you get your nuts off, you enjoy getting a dick in your ass. win both ways
Did you miss the description of “side” in the second paragraph ?!?!?!
ERIC:
Is side an alternative to top & bottom; does the position change to getting it from either side? Some of us take neither side nor prone nor supine.
My comment was to state that many of us simply do not engage in “Buggery.” Wasn’t interested in the Top/Bottom/Side routines.
N.Z.H.: Again, a Side is “a gay man who does not partake in anal-penetrative sex; a gay man who enjoys all aspects of intercourse with the exception of anal penetration,”
If I had know what you defined, I would not have had to ask?
Another example of useless “Nomenclature.” Our Society reeks of it. All we do is label until we forget the meanings of the labels.
Does this mean he engages in foreplay, but doesn’t “put out”?
*chuckel* is there a Left Twix and a Right Twix to the subgenre of Side???
I will admit, “side” was a new term to me, but one that applies to me…at least I get to know someone and get comfortable with them. Then I become versatile, and there is no such thing as a bad night! lol
being a bottom side myself it great for both of us you can do a lot to kissing to licking or just hugging and getting fucked
Total and complete top. If I can’t breed a bottom then time to find one I can.
Seems to be more bottoms than tops. am bottom
TOO true. Is there erection repellent in the Water Supply? Or, is the WiFi and Cellular Signal radiation interfering with the transmission of horny now, become erect and capable of penetrating partner in the Human Male animal? Curious. Thoughts? Lifetime Subscription to the Levitra, Cialis, or Viagra channel? Chime in. Cialis here.
Interesting fkr, there does indeed seem to be an oversupply of bottoms, yet when they refuse to meet hen they reach out to tops,whine about “not getting any”, who’s really at fault? There are fakes & flakes on both sides, yet it seems more on the bottom side.
It appears to me in my limited experience that there are plenty of “Tops” but they are or can be more selective in who their bottom is because the top is in more of a demand. I am a bottom, wish I could be versatile but my body just doesn’t work that way at my age, and that too is an issue so many young guys want or expect older men to be “generous”. in my area several of the guys on A4A who list themselves as tops are also bi or it appears they would be, because they are… Read more »
I Honestly have not had sex in 2 years so I really forgot what I was.
I do not mean to be funny, but I find more younger guys these days who think “top” and “bottom” are positional and not functional. One wrote in his profile, “I like to give oral, so I guess I’m a top.” So, since he is leaning over the penis, he is a top? These terms top and bottom are not as ambiguous as the term “ride”, for example, yet people fumble with them. It doesn’t help that the dynamics are not always clear, regarding who controls the action, despite of who penetrates. In the realm of oral copulation, there is… Read more »
Hello “R L”. Thanks for your thoughts on the matter. I thoroughly enjoyed reading what you posted, and totally agree with you. Great points you pulled out.
R L I do agree with you on these topics , I am an older Very Sexually active Man that has been Positive for about 13 years I am Undetectable now, but the Medicines I take Has Killed Erections by about 90%, would love to be able side play at times, but because of no Erections, for partner to suck, or for me to penetrate him, it leaves me as a total bottom, unless toys are used, and I have learned that most men,( Straight, Bi, Versatile, or Total Tops wanting to explore) are not willing to use toys because… Read more »
RMB469: I’m sure you have done this already, but wondering if you’ve spoken to your doc. I know there is a testosterone boosting ointment they can provide. It may help bring back your erection to some degree if you wish. Good luck.
Because of the ambiguity of top/bottom, I prefer pitcher/catcher. I think the mental image is fun and funny. I always hear the sound of the ball hitting the mitt. However, this doesn’t work in countries where baseball isn’t common.
I couldn’t vote because I didn’t know how too. I’m built like a tight end football player. I am a masculine African American well hung top, but I like to bottom about once or twice a year. I have to get the itch. Also when I do bottom I have certain provisions. Hope this doesn’t sound strange. I make sure the top is a 6- 7.5 inches and medium thick. It has to be with me flat on my stomach or sideways in bed with the top hitting it from behind. Lastly it must be mild, I’m virgin tight!!! I… Read more »
Damn, marcus. I’m a very affectionate Top MAN. R u in NYC ?
I’m a vers when it comes to sex. And not so much into anal. Just not wired for it…no wow factor. A blog article not too long ago showed members here were pretty evenly divided about anal being deal breaker or not. I’m in the “not” group. Anal is just one tool in the tool box of mansex. There are many other options! I’m regularly contacted Total Tops and Total Bottoms looking for a Bottom or a Top. I’ll discuss options with them, but most often they’re looking for an anal once-and-done experience. We part company then. Anal is what… Read more »
I guess you could say I’m pretty much versatile. I love sucking cock and swallowing cum. I love others to suck me, but since I’m older and it takes me a while to get hard and cum, many times things turn out only one sided. Why do guys get in such a hurry when it comes to having sex? I have done some anal and got my cock in, but not always successful. Love the feeling though. Also if someone wants to fuck me, I say go for it, use plenty of lube, as long as it doesn’t hurt. (a… Read more »
Like to please my man orally to completion. Too old to penetrate and find receiving too painful. Am I being selfish?
I find that most “vers” guys are really guys who may have bottomed once and never do it again. Most guys that are “vers” where I live are usually tops who don’t want the label of being a “total” top, it’s one of the reasons I don’t usually hit up vers guys first. I usually chat with the guys that are bottoms and ok with saying it. We are about as label conscious in sex, our relationships, and each other as we are when shopping for clothes or shoes. I find everyone says this is a bottom city but I… Read more »
Send those “total tops” out west! We’re in a severe top drought out here in Southern California!
I used to be a top because that was expected off me (7.5″). Then became vers for a couple of years. Now I have embrace being a bottom. Specially the last couple of years, after being introduced to wear chastity cages, I have no option but being a good bottom and I love it.
Sometimes have trouble in my area, finding tops. Lots of guys are vers, verstops, vers bttms and doesn’t get why I wear a cage.
I think by the poll alone it shows that bottoms vastly out number tops almost 2 to 1. Any time I’m ok nline I get bottoms trying to hook up with me to top them, and in my profile it states I’m a bottom. When did it become so rare to find tops that bottoms have to get other bottoms to top them?
It’s a millennial thing. Ask them.
Def a bottom man here, NOTHING better then a hard dick inside of me, pounding away! I do like oral as well, more into sucking then receiving. I can be vers if the guy wants to flip, then I am down but if it comes to position bottom! As far as fining tops, I agree in my town seems like EVERYONE is a bottom looking for a top man, weird and it does make it difficult when I am on the prowl to get dicked down! WTF guys!!
What the hell is a side?
Read the article.
As a total top, I am often perplexed by the sheer number of bottoms who are little more than total stuck on themselves flakes. The majority of which invent more excuses as to why they can’t meet up then ones who can make a commitment to at least hook up once. I’d love nothing more than to find a semi-normal man who would hookup and fuck daily without the endless drama, the endless lies and sheer fabrication of excuses prior to the initial meet. For bottoms who are left wondering why there are limited available tops, that’s remarkably simple, it’s… Read more »
Married to a woman and I satisfy her well. But, I am definitely a bottom and completely full of bottom stamina. I have spent decades learning my ass. The muscles involved, the likes, dislikes, and limits. Although my area is almost completely void of tops, I have been all over the country and have experienced MANY tops. The one thing I can say (and not to say it is true for everyone, so please stay off your soapbox) I have happened across hundreds of “total tops”. Again in my experience, I have only ever found 7 tops who actually knew… Read more »
Yup. Hawaii is a bottom state
I’m creating the description “vers side.” If no anal I like mutual oral. Somehow a mouth on my cock feels better when there’s also one in my mouth. Did someone say group?!?! If anal sex is included I prefer top but have a couple buddies whose cocks seen made for my ass.
I’m a bottom, but I have topped a few times. Due to all the bottoms I come across, I decided to top. After a few times of that, and not finding tops in my area so much, I am leaning more towards not having any type of anal sex at all. Its a huge let down.
I am bi married but far prefer sex with men. I am Vers and love to both top and bottom. Always thought I was a top, but once I was bottomed by a really good & gentle too, I was sold. I’m currently seeing a guy casually who is very, very thick. It hurts like hell but I like him & want to satisfy him. And yes we flip 😉
I’m bisexual married that enjoys giving and receiving oral mainly but have flipped a few times with my partners and enjoyed receiving anal more than I did giving it.
I am strictly a bottom. No topping for me. I consider my useless little cock to be nothing more that an oversized clitoris. In fact I have a special way of hiding my little clit completely away so it is not available for touching or even being seen. I am very passionate about sexually pleasuring a man and I get all the pleasure and sexual gratification I need from just knowing I’ve given the man I’m with all that he desires and then some! I’m a Bi CD, that only wants and needs to be treated as a mans little… Read more »
Where you locate Joann? Total top who prefers fems transgenders and females who like anal.
Thank you! I’m the same way. The pleasure is physical for sure but much of it is mental. Just knowing that a man is inside me experiencing ecstasy is the greatest feeling. I do have a huge cock though, but I have no need to cum.
I’m bi-married-discreet but fairly active in gay sex. Why? Because there are so many different activities I enjoy with guys – the way we kiss and grind (which is entirely different from kissing my wife), suck each others’ cocks, lick one anothers’ assholes, comfortably take part in groups with multiple guys, and of course fuck one another. I’m by in large a top but that’s only because I fear bottoms are at a greater risk than tops are. Otherwise, why not do it all? That is, I like to lead things and play the dom role, but I also like… Read more »
Same. Couldn’t have said it better myself. And you gave me wood.
I would have to agree with ILCJG in regards to “Tops being more or can be selective with the bottoms.” I’m a Top and I’m definitely selective, not because there are more bottoms, but because there are too many fake pics, drama and game playing.
I noticed that there is a surgance in Open relationships and guys being Vers also… which doesn’t do anything for me.. my preference, don’t judge me, lol.
Also, as far as “Side”… sometimes that Is Hotter than having sex at times!
When it cums down to it…. I’m a “Top” man!
Like pleasing my man orally to completion. Too old to penetrate and find receiving too painful. Am I being selfish?
I used to enjoy topping as a kid, but I just can’t seem to get into it now. Being a bottom, on the other hand, really works for me. I am what I am. As for as tops go, yeah, it seems like everyone is a bottom here, but I hear that everywhere.
Why doesn’t A4A release stats on the users? Are its users, when they choose to identify, claiming one role more than the others?
Married bisexual. I started fucking men to experience uncut cock – am fascinated with 4skin specially since I was cut so tight. Started out as top exclusively – I equated bottom with extremely feminine guys. Later, as I became more comfortable being more intimate with a guy, I met and bedded a very well hung black guy, my first. He was very gentle, started with plenty of foreplay, lots of poppers and managed to get his big cock deep inside me – loved it, though it hurt like hell! After a few more experiences and tops I began to enjoy… Read more »
Married here too, and I think you’ve clearly illustrated the validity in the “different strokes for different folks” cliche because I am so totally grossed out by uncut cocks with that sliding foreskin LOL (Hope I haven’t offended anyone)
…and bottoms wonder why tops are so picky!
I’m a top but as some of you it not the same anymore as it once was back in the day. Since I prefer fems, transgenders and females, I constantly run into guys calling me sick in the head. I thought LGBTQ umbrella was large. I’m not your type why get mad? Wouldn’t my being honest save us both some time?
I’m born to mount, fuck, inseminate. The politics between men is powerful stuff. When a broad shouldered, muscular, fuzz butt assumes the position, ready, willing, and eager for what I’m going to do to him… it floors me!. I’m flattered, honored, humbled, and flummoxed with lust. My knees buckle just thinking about it. I love reaching deep inside my buddy with my dick and bumping up against the bone of his soul. The intimacy and passion of going balls deep while trying to hold him and comfort him… I know it hurts but the way he keeps craving and moaning… Read more »
Thats hot and so sweet, we need more men like you out there.
Sarasota FL is a bottom town
I’m “exclusively” a top because I’m well-hung and men will present their asses to me. I have a hung friend who is “100%” top for the same reason. He and I fuck each other and I enjoy it. I don’t really enjoy bottoming with other men.
I’m a top. I’ve only been fucked by one man & was always on top whenever we did. It was also when I was in a very toxic relationship. That could be part of the reason I’m not into getting fucked. It does seem like there are a lot more bottoms out there. It also seems like there are a fair number of guys that advertise as tops but message me & want to get fucked. One guy I remember says he’s a top on a few sites yet I watched him get fucked by 2 guys in the backroom… Read more »
Interesting topic. I’ve never heard of “side” before but I’ve apparently been with a few. I would clarify a few things. For me, its all about how clean you are. If I’m with a guy who hasn’t prepared (cleaned) his ass properly, then I’m a bottom. Unless his cock is too big, then I become a “side”. If you have a clean ass and average to below average cock, come prepared, ’cause I will ravage you in the bedroom.
N.Y…is DEF a bottom town!!…I’m a African american Bottom guy and proud of it!!!…was just built that way I guess…lol..funny thing I have found the more successful you are in life/career the more you are a bottom?…well maybe just here in N.Y.? does seem like there are 3 bottoms to every 1 top here?…A4A can be difficult to navigate looking for a well endowed top guy with all the hustlers and druggies…I’m lucky I have a couple regulars that keep and we have kept one another happy for some time now.
I am a total bottom. In my recent experience and being an older guy, tops are definitely in demand. Also, I have run into more “sides” without knowing that term. The first time I encountered a side, the guy was a hairdresser and was very public about his sexuality. He made comments that made me think he was a top. It turned out that he was very opposed to anal, thought it only belonged in the marriage bed of a man and a woman. Surprise to me.
I like to top, but I have to take meds to do it. Not being overly well-endowed (5″), it doesn’t go that far. I’ve been told it’s excellent for nailing the prostate!
How I do sex doesn’t infer anything about the person I’m having sex with. Sometimes I’m the dom top, stretching a sweet hole. Sometimes I’m the man in the middle fucking and getting fucked simultaneously. Sometimes, I’m a cheap ho, teasing loads out of shy straight tops. There are times when I’m a cocksucker and will get your load. Sometimes there’s someone on their knees in front of me trying really hard to get mine. Flip? Sure. Groups– all the better. I haven’t tried being trans… going fem, but I might one day just to be the bitch. It’s all… Read more »
I am vers but mainly love to feel my bare cock in a nice tight hole. Love being in charge. Sometimes I like to have the guy dominate me and just breed my hole
I am more side. I love oral giving and getting. But I am in love with those feet in the pictures tho.
I am an older married to a wife for many years. I originally was a total top until one time of being fucked by a couple of guys who changed my perceptive of gay sex. Now I am a total bottom guy who also loves sucking cock. I am happy if I can suck a guy for hours. If I can have a guy to suck while he is soft, I will suck and lick on his cock work it into my throat as far as I can while he is not hard. The feeling I get when I sense… Read more »
I am a bottom and I find it difficult to find tops where I live right now in Long Island. However, when I was in the city I could find tops fairly easily.
I’m straight but sometimes I bottom but I will never top
Try the opposite. Total top here, but never can find any bottoms (yet all you hear are “there aren’t any tops”).
Not many tops in northeast Ohio area. I am a bi married bottom. Had a great top for 3 years before he moved in 2016. He loved rimming ass and fucking. He was not that interested in receiving oral but I love to suck dick and swallow. He wanted ass. He gave me my first internal full body orgasm while rimming me. He was an expert at rimming hole and eating ass. My dick always stayed in my jockstrap. He wasn’t into a man’s dick. Exactly what I liked. The sexual relationship was fantastic. Profile name: BiLust in Euclid Ohio.