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When it comes to media representation of LGBTQ folks, more than not we’re portrayed as hypersexualized, especially when it comes to gay men. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a strong sex drive, but it understandably makes a lot of LGBTQ virgins feel like they have to be sexual savants the moment they put themselves out there.

Living up to expectations is tough and we don’t want our readers — of whatever age — who just happen to be virgins to feel pressured to perform. Here are five things to keep in mind if you’re a virgin looking to dive into the world of LGBTQ sex.

1. LGBTQ sexuality is often misrepresented

Just like we said at the start of this article, a lot of LGBTQ representation in media depicts us as hypersexualized — from the predatory gay man, the ridiculously butch lesbian, or the trans sex worker. Being constantly fed that lie is sure to warp your expectations, so learn how to unlearn them. You’re not the only one who is inexperienced. There are plenty of people out there that are just like you.

2. Sex isn’t going to be perfect

Here’s one situation where both straight people and LGBTQ people are treated the same: the media makes us think that sex is going to be sensuous and perfect. That’s absolutely not the case. Sex can get messy, it might hurt, it might even be boring. If it’s your first time, there’s an even bigger chance that this encounter isn’t going to be mind-blowing. It’s best to just go into it without any overblown expectations and you might even find yourself pleasantly surprised.

3. Making sure the sex is safe isn’t going to kill the mood

If you only base your expectations on porn, you’d think that bareback is the only way to enjoy sex. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Sex is very much enjoyable even with a condom on. In fact, you could argue that you get to enjoy sex more with a condom since you’re not worrying about catching HIV or any other sexually-transmitted infection. Always keep it safe, especially if your first time is going to be with someone who you don’y know very well.

4. There’s nothing wrong with being prepared

Don’t think that just because you’re going to have sex with someone more experienced than you that they’re going to have everything needed for your first time. Don’t be afraid to bring condoms and lube, especially if you’re going to do anal. Trust us, anal sex is definitely going to require lube.

5. It’s perfectly okay to remain a virgin

You might feel a lot of pressure to go out there and have sex. Don’t give in to that pressure. Sex isn’t the be-all and end-all of life in the LGBTQ community. It’s okay to wait for as long as you need.

These is just some of the advice we’d give to any LGBTQ virgins out there looking to experience their first time. Do our Adam4Adam blog readers have any advice they’d like to share? What are some of the things you wish you knew when you were still a virgin? Share it with us in the comments section below!

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