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Are you a top, bottom, vers? If you aren’t any of the three, are you perhaps a side?

Vers, by the way, is defined as “(in the LGBTQ community) being or relating to a person who is willing to take either a penetrative or a receptive role in a particular sexual act, especially anal intercourse.”  

On the other hand, side is used to refer to a gay man “who does not enjoy anal penetration (giving or receiving), but will engage in other forms of same sex activity (fellatio, frottage, mutual masturbation, etc).”

Anyway, we are asking because a gay man shared online, “Being a Side is so much easier and less stressful.” He then added:

“I used to find sex a chore, a painful one. It was literal torture having to bottom. And yes, I tried EVERYTHING, it still hurts. Ever since I became a side, no more painful sex, no more nights crying from the literal pain I had to go through. I still have PTSD from a night of rough sex. I fainted and had to go to the hospital.

Guys, don’t Bottom if you are not into it. You’re worth more. Sex can be great if you are cool with it.”

A lot of gay men on the thread agreed (we do, too!); sex isn’t of course, just about topping and bottoming. On guy commented, “Bottoming is just an anal sex position. Whenever some mentions that anal is their only way to get off I feel really bad for them and wonder if they have truly explored sex. There are so many things you can do physically with touch. I love a good massage and happy ending for example.”

Further, one gay man shared, “I think I am a side at heart but pretty much everyone wants anal so I just do it (I usually top though). I find the other stuff way more fun personally.”

Meanwhile, on guy advised, “I’ve come to the realization in my life, many years ago that there are lots of options for sex as a gay man…. top, bottom, side, oral only, j/o only, sensual touching.” He continued, “Just try it all and stick with what you like! And mix it up once in a while. Try something new! You are the one in charge of your sex life!!! It’s up to you what you choose to do.”

Having said all that, what about you guys? Would you say you are a side? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below!

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