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From time to time, I’d read these two words online and I can’t help but wonder: is there really such a thing as top privilege when it comes to gay dating, guys? And if so, what does it mean?

HuffPost, explained that the phrase “top privilege” simply means that “men who identify as tops have inherently greater privileges than do bottoms, that tops have it ‘better’ than bottoms.”

So, we scoured the internet to check what other gay men thought about this and one guy voiced out one of my questions, which is: “How or in what way would tops be privileged?”

One gay man answered, and we quote: “Supply and demand, generally there are fewer tops and more bottoms which means in a way tops have some sort of privilege.” Is this true though, guys? Based on your experience, are there really more tops than bottoms in your area?

Some of the respondents on the thread agreed that indeed, there are more bottoms than tops, but what does that mean when it comes to dating or hooking up? One guy explained, “Tops outnumber bottoms like 10-1 sometimes and it definitely makes it easier for tops to date/hookup.” Further, another man elaborated, “Supply and demand is the answer. More bottoms, tops can be picky. Same for the reverse except that doesn’t happen IRL (in real life).

Do you agree with their opinion?

Anyway, another commenter said, “In the sense that you don’t have to do much prep, yes?” He added, “Personally, I think they also can walk away satisfied while bottoms sometimes don’t.”


But not everyone thinks there’s such a thing as top privilege like this guy who said, “Lol nope. This whole ‘privilege’ thing is getting as dumb as the whole ‘shame’ thing is getting.” Though he thinks there’s an upside to this in that, according to him, “Sometimes it can be fun to take advantage of the whole perception of a top shortage to get what you want lol.”

Meanwhile, another guy said in jest, “Of course, top gets 50% discount when dating in the nearest Starbucks or KFC. They just need to show their top membership.” You can read the thread in full here.

Way back in 2018, writer Rembrandt Duran also wrote about this topic extensively. “Everything from Fleeting to poop shaming to HIV contraction rate, we start to see that we tops have a kind of privilege that our vers and bottom sisters do not have,” Duran argued. You can read more about his thoughts on this here.

Having said all that, what do you think guys? Is there really such a thing as “top privilege” when it comes to gay dating and hooking up? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below!


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