(Photo Credits: VladOrlov from Shutterstock)
We already asked you about this way back, whether you are a top, bottom, or vers. But today, we’d like to ask you this as well: how did you know which sexual position you prefer? We are asking you because a gay man on Reddit brought this up. He asked, and we quote:
Like many of us, someone decided for me when I was fairly young and I kinda stuck with it. Tried topping a couple times but I wasn’t really into it.
I’m wondering, how did you guys know?
Before we look at their answers, let’s talk about what a top, bottom, or vers mean. Firstly, the bottom is the “receiver,” and the top, on the other hand, is the “giver,” while vers is actually short for versatile and is called as such because it means that the guy is willing to be either the “giver” or the “receiver” during anal sex.
But did you know that there is another term?
There is also such a thing as a “side.” A side, according to Urban Dictionary, is “a gay man who does not partake in anal-penetrative sex; a gay man who enjoys all aspects of intercourse with the exception of anal penetration.”
Going back to the question at hand, I don’t know about you, but I’d say the best way to be able to tell what you prefer is through experience? Here are some of the gay and bisexual men on Reddit had to say about the topic:
“A guy fucked me and I was in heaven,” revealed one particular user.
Another shared, “When watching porn I always imagined myself being the one who tops, it just came naturally.” He added, “I wouldn’t refuse to let someone who I trust/love to top though, although I don’t feel the need or desire to bottom.”
Meanwhile, one guy shared one of his experiences which turned out to be a revelation for him. He confessed, “I had a GF who I was out to. She really got turned on by my bisexuality. She started fingering me which led to toys which led to me breaking up with her to date men!”
What about you, guys? How did you discover that you were a top, bottom, side, or vers? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below!
Why the “Assumption” that Gays default to Tops, Bottoms or Versatile?
Why is there never any consideration or acknowledgement that many, many Gays are Oral?
There are many of us who enjoy a good piece of meat between our lips!
Why waste the cream – elsewhere?
Dairy Queen = Faery Cream!
Cream = Cream
You can be top/bottom, orally.
I feel oral is great when hooking up and its gets the job done lol!
Exactly, Kasper. Being Gay and Anal are not lock-stepped.
Absolutely. It’s so tiresome to be expected to define in terms of anal sex.
I only do oral. Those silly terms also do not apply to me.
Read the article. They also mentioned “side” which is non-anal.
Pardon!
I hadn’t recognized another example of a “useless piece of vocabulary”1
So let me understand, you got your bloomers in a bunch because you felt like there was never any consideration of acknowledgment of non-anal sexy and when it was pointed out that “side” meant non-anal, you want to get your bloomers in a bunch about the “useless piece of vocabulary” — mkay — Talk about lack of consideration!
Because they have to “label” everything these days.
Where have you been all my life.?!! I only see dudes who are orally-inclined.
I minutes I had a big thick cock in my ass I was a bottom, lovevthe feel of cock in ass and cum too. Love the feeling of cock in my mouth and cum too can’t get enough of it
Ditto Andrew…Love those sensations in my butt! Never been barebacked but would love to if I find somebody that I totally trust. For oral, love making him lose control and love the taste. With all that sucking and swallowing, belches an hour or two later are yummy!
I started out being vers, but when realized how much I enjoyed getting fucked in the ass I bottom more.
heck yeah.. i was young to.. loved dick.. Im a bottom for sure….
Stuff like this shouldn’t be published. Just say you were molested and give the age you found out your preferences, No one wants to read about the time you were raped by an “older friend”. It’s totally inappropriate. Will a moderate please delete this?
The guy that took my cherry (8″) decided for me. It hurt like hell, but I went back for more and he eventually turned me out
Because I wanted to do both, lmao, but not be the bottom anally.
I love big cock in my holes and cum in them
Easy way to get infected.
There are these things called condoms. Also, PREP. Look into them sometime.
True, however there are std tests that are free almost everywhere even through your PCP
Educate yourself.
I am a true verse. I love fucking, and I like getting fucked. I end up topping more often because it is harder to find tops. Many guys say they are tops, but when they find out that I will top, they are happy to let me top. My favorite is actually flipping, but it is not easy to find guys for that.
I am a true prose.
I knew that I was a bottom from the start, I discovered my hole at a very young age so it was a natural progression to being a bottom, I have absolutely no desire to top
When I was little, I liked inserting things in my ass, but when I got sexual age, I imagined sharing oral. When I got my first college crushes, I wanted to do oral and top, but never was brave enough to ask. Those were different times. My first anal sex, I let a drunk closet gsy top me. I did not enjoy it. In coming years, oral was most fun, and foreplay, but more often bottomed, if it went there, topped a few times, each when i felt connected. Toward the end, I found myself really horned to top repeat… Read more »
I remember being with all my buddies when I was “straight”. They would say things like “better watch your ass around those gays” or “don’t drop the soap”. I thought to be gay you had to give up your ass. That’s what I did for my first gay sex act and hated it. Didn’t have sex with a man for years. Going back to the giving up your ass if your gay idea I thought I had to do. I met a guy who was caring and careful and I started loving being a bottom. I mainly topped girls but… Read more »
Always knew I wanted to suck cock. Even as a preadolescent, the thought of a mans dick in my mouth fascinated me. And though I’ve topped on occasion, I sometimes feel a need to have a man inside me. But the overpowering drive is to suck cock and make out, nd if I never get fucked again, that will be ok as long as I can have a good long make out session that includes a mouthful of manjuice.
I didn’t enjoy being a bottom so l knew early on that l was a going to exclusively be a top.
My first encounter was in Miami when I was 18. I was working at a home. As I stood next to the customer he traced the outline of my dick through my pants. I was very thin in those days and could wear tight chinos. I hadn’t resisted so he took that as an OK. He lowered my pants and grabbed my cock and pulled me toward the bed and he sat down and sucked me off. That was the only time someone had done that. I transferred to New York City. Walking toward the bus station I could see… Read more »
When I first started out, it was the sight of a gorgeous dick that turned me on. I instantly wanted to touch it, and then I wanted to stroke it, and then the urge to lick it and suck it was u controllable, and having it in my mouth made me want to ride it, and riding it made me want to be fucked from behind, and that made me want to take it from both ends, and … Yea so bottoming for sexy dicks was natural and uncontrollable.
I was very late in the game before realizing I even liked sex with men. I was seeing one guy for a while, mostly limited to him sucking me off. But one night, he got me so badly aroused while playing with my dick and my anus, I let him slip inside of me… it was the most amazing experience I had ever had sexually. It seemed so natural and so normal and I absolutely loved the feel of it. I’ve bottomed ever since and have never felt the desire to top.
In my first-ever sexual experience at age 18, I did it all (more or less): We 69’d then he f*cked me, then we flipped over and I f*cked him back. In my assorted other experiences on through my mid-30s, sometimes I topped, sometimes I bottomed (both based on the other guys’ desires) and sometimes we flipped. It actually wasn’t until I was in my mid-30s that I even heard of the terms “top” and “bottom” (I kid you not). But this was now the mid-90s and HIV/AIDS was still very much in the fore, so I determined I’d go all… Read more »
I really enjoy being on my knees and sucking cock. Not really into anal.
I started out only giving blowjobs, because I was afraid of any pain and discomfort in receiving Anal. But once I got over my fear and tried I realized I love it! I laugh at some of the porn videos where it looks like the Bottom is in pain. It’s just the opposite for me. I’m totally in ecstasy.
“… TOP, BOTTOM, OR VERS?” The question assumes all Gay men enjoy anal. “The Community” has propaganda that has created a term for those men who don’t. It is “Side”. You are a “side” if you don’t enjoy penetration, either as a Top or a Bottom. But, like “in the Closet”, the term is not positive. It’s not a compliment. Somehow you’re outside of “In Crowd.” Anal penetration has never done anything for me. Even with year’s of experience, Top or Bottom. I will Bottom for buds who are thinner and enjoy helping them orgasm. Thicker guys just hurt, regardless… Read more »
My Favorite Position (Today)
This morning brought a new trick for this old dog , The ex is going to the Pacific coast of Florida, we had to recognize we were better as friends a few months ago and we both moved on until this week when he came to finally collect some of his stuff. Knowing it was probably the last time we’d be together that old black magic caught us in it’s spell and to make a short story long , also get on topic ,, after some amazing reminiscing of up and down, in and out , the combined soul seasons… Read more »
I knew I was a bottom because I like getting on my hands and knees to take a cock deep inside me
Well i didn’t start having sex with a guy until i was 43.Not long after that i was diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer. that kinda made the decision for me.I like to bottom not all the time depending on the guy tho.So after the chemo, pretty much bottoming and oral was going to be the normal
Yet another picture in the blog of white young guys. Diversity?
Another Woke bullshitter post
Not at all. Regardless of the popular Progressive Agenda, there are countless numbers of “mighty fine looking men” who aren’t light-skinned and/or young.
I’m white and I have to tell you it’s fantastic! Every where I have gone on this planet, thousands of Black, Asian, Hispanic, Indian and even other White guys have bent over and offered me their tight fuck tubes to enjoy. And I have enjoyed !
Or “side.” Anal intercourse is hardly a requirement for gay sex. It is the most dangerous form of it, too.
side is something i just learned today, wow
I’m not a fan of a anal sex either, but can we please stop this silly nonsense of calling it “dangerous”? It’s not dangerous at all. It was dangerous in the 1980s – if you weren’t using a condom. Now we have condoms and PREP and we know infinitely more than we did 40 years ago. Please stop spreading misleading information, like that anal sex is somehow “dangerous”. It’s not.
I’ve had anal sex without using a condom (like taking a shower in a rain coat) with 8,000 beautiful men and even eaten the asses of hundreds of them. I never got HIV or even one parasitic infection. So for me personally it’s been all massive upside with no downside…. HAPPY DICK, HAPPY LIFE !
I was 35 and bend over a park bench getting some strange dick and it was one of the best fucking of my life. After taking that dick I knew that I was all bottom.
Before that I had done plenty of topping over the years. Even a few flip flop. But after taking that big dick I was hooked.
Billions of years of evolution resulted in your ass being wired for pleasure. In-spite of what fake god cults pontificate. Notice how you cannot squeeze your dick without squeezing your asshole. They are wired together !
I was tall and thin when I was young and not into guys. But my large cock was always on display and it never over looked by guys looking. Since I liked my cock sucked I got to the point I didn’t mind letting them. A few guys would beg me to fuck them, and some I would, I would cum good but never felt good about it. Eventually a guy was sucking me, pulled off and stuck his cock in front of my mouth. I’d never really thought about sucking a cock but something clicked in me and I… Read more »
Everyone is a bottom, most just don’t know it. Interesting how many can condemn anal sex, without ever knowing how it…. REALLY IS !
For me, it’s definitely been an evolution. I went from not bottoming at all to now being completely vers; it really does depend on who I’m with. I don’t know that I sudden “realized” I wanted a dick up my ass instead of exclusively topping. It happened gradually. Unfortunately, bottoms outnumber tops to a ridiculous degree, so that’s always a problem.
Bnn1354: I hear you on that. As I describe above in my own post, I started out completely versatile, then shifted to all top, but in recent times I’ve felt comfortable (safety-wise) enough to take it up the butt again. I wonder if that’s any sort of pattern? I’m 62 and I find bottoming more pleasureful these days than topping – though I still do like to top. Could be that I need viagra to keep me hard enough to top – that comes with age.
That’s why being a top is so rewarding !
I love manbutt! Love looking at them, touching, licking, fucking. It flatters, humbles, and honors me when a man goes butt up, eager, and willing. It makes my knees buckle. I love fuzz butts!!! I love fucking men! I can take dick, if I gotta, but it takes poppers to get it in me. In the heat of things… it’s all spermy good, man to man, nekid, cum, squirting fun but my drathers is to get on top. Getting fucked is just foreplay on the way to putting my sperm in a buddy. I’m glad most guys seem to prefer… Read more »
I have always loved to have boys and men penetrate me from High School on. Girls have had my cock, but it has never been in a man. Cocks and balls, and asses are lovely, but getting a man in my ass is heaven. I am glad there are so many different orientations and flavors of gay. It keeps life interesting
How else? We experimented with our bodies. I know I don’t like anything around back there, therefore I’m a total top.
My very first gay experience was when I was 22. At the time, I was in a relationship with a woman and had a baby on the way. I did confide in her that I had homosexual desires. With the baby on the way she started to have the marriage conversation, but I needed to explore my gay side before committing. She allowed it. Needless to say my first experience committed me to the gay lifestyle permanently. It took a few months of searching … gay.com was brand new at the time I chatted with a number of guys but… Read more »
For me, it took a while to figure it out. My first consensual experience was freshman year of college. Sadly, I was raped repeatedly by my older step brother from 6 until 13, when my mom divorced his dad. In 1992, my freshman year of college, we had internet based computers in all our dorm rooms. Of course, the internet was in its infancy, so everything was text based, no pictures, voice, etc. I drove 6 hours to meet a guy my age and spend the weekend with him. We fucked like rabbits all weekend, flip flop fucking the entire… Read more »
Ever since I was younger I always enjoyed playing with my asshole. First with my fingers, then using items that I found in the house. Cucumbers, bananas, flashlights, whatever I could find. The thicker the better. Then I found toys to play with. I never really thought about topping before and since the first time I had a cock in my ass, I was hooked. I’m bi and my gf pegs me from time to time but nothing like the real thing. Being a top never appealed to me even though I have done anal with the gf once. Her… Read more »
My first expereience was with a teen boy across the street. All we did was give each other hand jobs. Not sure if it wasnt just exploring teens. Dont think I was really into guys, it just felt good to get off with someone elses hand touching me. I would rwturm the favor. But when that day he laid over in my lap and put that warm, wet mouth on my cock. WOW!! I wasnt ready to return that favor as a teen though. Fast forward 10 years. I had put that behind me. Never considered myself into guys was… Read more »
I can relate to your first bottoming experience. In my first-ever experience at 18, I badly wanted to fuck both ways so I first laid face down on the (older, experienced) guy’s bed and spread my legs. He lubed up my ass thoroughly and knowing I was a rookie, he slid his big 8-incher inside me verrrry slowly so it wouldn’t hurt – or hurt too much. Stupid me – I was thinking “c’mon already, shove it all the way in!” so I pressed on his backside to force it all the way in. OUCH!!! I had to make him… Read more »
Don’t really know, tried to bottom damn sure didn’t like it, but when I topped my first I knew.
I started having sex with men late in life. The first gay I connected with was a top. So I learned how to suck and ride cock. And I LOVED it. I occasionally fuck a woman but with a guy I prefer bottom. And I love to suck and be sucked. I believe a part of my preference for bottom is that I am also slightly submissive. So letting my partner take control and do me just comes naturally.
Little gay, public service announcement:
To all you guys who like to both top and bottom: you’re VERS, not “VERSE”. Verse prefers poetry. “Vers” is an abbreviation for “versatile.” So, unless you’re trying to tell us you were written by Wordsworth or Robbie Burns, go with “vers”. No E on the end.
Let’s handle another gay grammar issue at tye aame time. “Discreet” and “discrete”. If you’re “discreet” you like to “meet” (notice the “ee” in each) someone privately. “Discrete” means “individually” so that means you masturbate by yourself meeting no one.
Not to put too fine a point on matters, but that’s a spelling issue, not a grammar issue.
You all crack me up (pun intended)! Let’s meAt for secks!
More importantly, how about the news in mainstream media that NY1 Meteorologist Erick Adame was fired for being on a site such as Adam4Adam?
I’ve always known I guess. I loved seeing dick and actually sucked my first dick in junior high. He was a neighbor, same age and showed me how to jack off. I showed him how nice a blow job is. My first boyfriend was in high school, he was a year older and a total top, I sucked him every chance I got. I traveled by car my first job and got fucked first time in Waco Texas. He was a football player and was very gentle. I was hooked
I am definitely a top by nature and really enjoy it. I have a special guy who I had been fucking for about 8 years. During one visit he was complaining his GF didn’t like to fuck and he missed doing it so I took pity on him and let him fuck me. I enjoyed the experienced but only because of my deep feelings for the man and how intensely sexually erotic if was to see him in action inside me. My first two attempts at exploring the bottom were with inexperienced tops who gave me no preparation before just… Read more »
I have always had gay tendencies during my youth. I had two cousins that had their way with me at an early age….I love all of the experiences with both of them. as I got older I was at an adult book store and the clerk started talking about blowjobs and how a straight guy would not be gay for just getting relief from a gay guy….well he didn’t know that I was already broken in and willing. I let him blow me that day . It experience was so hot a sexual for me. I became a regular for… Read more »
In 1998 and being 16, the only way to meet guys was to go on AOL chat rooms. I knew nothing of being gay nor what gay people actually did with one another as I never had seen porn at that point. In addition to all of the “A/S/L” questions people in these chatrooms asked, Top/Bottom was one that people would ask. I was clearly private schooled and I hadn’t a clue what that meant until someone told me. After knowing, I thought being a bottom sounded hotter. Of course I heard how that was a little scarier and how… Read more »
I never “discovered” I was a bottom, it’s just the way I reacted to anal stimuli before I even knew what gay sex was. Growing up, I thought that gay guys only sucked dick. Meanwhile my anus was very sensitive, and I would get really aroused just by rubbing my butt into a seat with a firm cushion and I just thought that was the normal experience of being a man. One day I was doing laundry, and was leaining against the edge of the washer when I dropped a shirt. As I bent down to pick it up, my… Read more »
Coffee: Your response combined with reading all the others here leads me to conclude this was one of a4a’s better blogs. Look at the wide assortment of our responses here. Talk about “what makes ballgames,” right?
I never liked anal. It was/is always painful, so I became a top. But because of the pain I went through, I am extra careful when I top someone to make sure that he is not having any pain and is enjoying it. Very Careful. My actual preference is Oral. Nothing in the world like giving head. Besides, you can do so much more with your mouth, jaw muscles than just an ass. Now that I am older, I can even take out my dentures and enjoy that cock even more. When I do top someone, I want them on… Read more »
I’ve always been a top. I have tried bottoming but it does nothing for me, same for sucking. I would do it sometimes if I want to please a partner but I get nothing out of it. I love the look and feel of a hard muscled man’s body, I love to kiss and cuddle and hug. When someone has hit my prostate, it did not feel good at all. I admit that I have no interest in dicks. I fantasize about having a hot, built man with a literal pussy.
With my beautiful big cock, I was destined to become a top. Even though I’m in my mid 60’s now, I can’t fuck all the boys that want me to fuck them, they are just too many….
I’m bi and used Thailand as an experimental venue starting at age 33, on top. Had sensitivity problems with the condoms (really mandatory then), so the “guaranteed” anal was a drawcard, with that being tighter and more likely to produce a happy ending. OTOH, many guys working the bars aren’t really gay, I’d find, and those are usually tops. Had an early surprise experience with that that I just went with and it was so-so. Got better with discussing things and not assuming too much. For the next 25 years or so it was mostly fish but sometimes guys if… Read more »
Looking back now, the first time I received anal was likely the most awesome sexual experience for me. It actually happened more or less by accident, I had sucked a friends cock in the shower at the YMCA, yeah cliche’ anyway , he and I were buddies. After our first time , in the shower, we would get together at his house, it was summer vacation, his parents both worked all day. Obviously we were just 2 super horny teenage guys, lol, who wasn’t? We had a lot of fun fooling around,, pretty much just oral, I loved sucking his… Read more »
A big determiner for me was realizing what I look at when I check out another guy. I am always more interested in his front than back. In bed, I will massage or play with a guy’s ass, but that’s only as a stimulus for his cock. Being a premature ejaculator, it’s also easier for me to bottom than to top. I like the power trip of being a top, but I can get that by orally dominating another guy. So, I describe myself as a versatile bottom (give and receive oral, receive anal), as I don’t really have any… Read more »