(Photo Credits: Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels)
Hey, guys! Is height relevant for you when it comes to dating or having sex? Has height ever been a problem for you when it comes to dating or hooking up? Further, must tops be taller than bottoms? Is that a requirement now? More importantly, have you ever been rejected because of your height?
We’re asking because we often stumble upon this issue wherein tall gay and bisexual men confess online about how they have been stereotyped as top only when they’re clearly bottom simply because they are, you know… tall. For instance, on this thread, the original poster (OP) asked the readers whether or not height is really that relevant. He said:
We’ve all seen people being shamed for their height, especially guys being shamed by girls in the straight community. Then again, I’ve heard in the gay community some guys like small dudes.
What is your take on this? Do you think height is important and you have a preference that is like a MUST for dating or are you generally open to the person and don’t worry?
I’d guess most people would have a thing for taller guys as everyone has always “shamed” or compared me to others’ height because I’m small and no one really makes fun of a 6″4 guy for being tall they instantly envy him xD PS: I know this is probably super subjective to everyone’s preferences yet I’d like to see what the majority would think and what everyone’s input in this topic is.
Meanwhile, another guy asked, “Can someone please explain the obsession with height and sex positions on this sub?” He added:
I don’t get it. Seriously. Why are so many questions here premised on this myth that tops must be taller than the bottoms. I’ve been having sex with guys for over 40 years across the US and Europe and the issue of height has never come up. When did this become a thing? Please explain.
Anyway, here are some responses to these questions that I loved:
We’re the same height horizontal though…
And there’s so much more to sex than anal.
Maybe it’s a bunch of theorists wary of practical application? 😂
Further, another reader posited that the reason why height matters to others must be because of a number of several things, foremost being porn. He said:
I have my suspicions. Some of it porn, some of it poor reality discernment, and some of it too many listening to social media and not being present in the real world.
Like you height has never been an issue for me. I think porn is great but I also think the generation that’s grown up with it easy to access hasn’t been served well by it and I also think social media is filling lots of heads with bullshit and stupidity.
But what do studies say?
One study showed that there is a connection between height preferences and sexual position. Specifically, the study revealed that “Men who preferred to be ‘top’ in the dyad preferred shorter partners, whereas men who preferred to be ‘bottom’ preferred taller partners.” Read the full study here.
But what about you, guys? What is your take on this? Do you have a minimum height requirement when it comes to dating? If so, what is it? If you were top, would you not date someone, a bottom, if they were taller than you and vice versa? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section down below!
All that being said, we leave you with this short video about height and gay men:
I’m a 6’4″ top. Although sometimes I pound my bottoms standing up, which can bring height differences into play, more often than not we’re laying horizontal. Therefore, in most cases I don’t give a shit how tall or short the bottom is. That said…when it comes to getting into a real hot 69 mutual cock-sucking or rimming groove, being of similar heights can be useful. But that wasn’t the topic of this blog.
Never had a preference that a guy should be taller or shorter than me.
Does Tall correlate with Top and Dominant? Does short correlate with Bottom and Submissive? Of course not. Are tall guys generally hung like horses? No. Same thing.
The only times I even notice if a guy and I have a height difference is kissing while standing and when doing oral 69. Kissing is no issue once we’re horizontal. For 69, there are plenty of other sex acts to perform!
As a bottom, I’ve been with tall tops and short tops. Some of those short tops were hung like horses and some of those tall tops were hung like mice and vice versa. Did height make a difference? NO! Did I prefer one over the other? NO! With some tall tops it was sometimes a challenge if they were getting me doggy because they had to lift my ass up to them. And with some short tops, I sometimes felt like pitbull getting pounded by a chihuahua. But nonetheless, I enjoyed them all!
As a bi guy who is shorter than average, I have found men and women to be polar opposites in most cases. For women, the height of a guy is very important, if not the most important physical trait. A women judges a man based on height before all other physical attributes. When it comes to guys, I haven’t really found height to be much of an issue. Sure, there are a few guys that have height requirements, but it is rare. The only issue with being a short guy is that there is an assumption that you are a… Read more »
let’s forget about the whole tall/short, top/bottom thing for a moment and ask a more important question: Why does EVERY picture of two gay guys on A4A depict a Black male and male of another race? Is it “hate speech” to show two White gay men together now? Just curious!
Also, they’re always younger. For sure less than 40 years old.
Mike, I’m not assuming you’re white because you could be as black as me, but I wonder would you have chimed and asked your “more important question” if every model in the ads on here were Caucasians….Just curious!! I’m sure you have seen many ads on here with two White gay men together. I have….
Couldn’t have said it better Marcus. Thanks. I’l be interested to hear what Mike has to say. I’m white btw.
Marcus is speaking the truth..thx bro
It took me 1 sec to find a pic on this blog of two white men. This isn’t a “more important question.” It’s something you made up yourself and then got “curious” about.
Great! How did you access it? Members can only troll and scroll far as I know. For sure Staff has search capabilities. Is there a way for members to search the site?
I am 5’9. I prefer guys in the 5’6 to 6’1 range. Can’t explain why but I’m just not turned on by being with someone that is tall it feels awkward in bed.
Wow, I was just mentioning this a week or so ago, “very tall, athletic, black/w deads, masc, edgy” = automatically a top” of which because I stated the truth; someone said it was racist of me. My neighbor just said to me a while ago, “damn, dude, you’re so tall make me want to bottom.” Well, there’s mostly the ignorance of the majority, that has caused me to be ‘pretty well adjusted’, patient to a degree, empathetic/understanding when I can be. I know who I am to myself; regardless of my packaging, most importantly. That said, I find so many… Read more »
Lamar (and one other mentioned earlier), you’re opening a whole other can o’ worms here about preferences of different races. Perhaps Dave should pose this question in another blog: “Do you prefer (sexually) one race over another and if so, do you have a difficult time trying to explain that it has nothing to do with your political leanings and only because those are the types that turn you on vs. turning you off?” I’m white and as politically open and Left-leaning as they get, but I guess I have a “racist dick” because I only get hard and have… Read more »
When can we can stop having divisive
conversations here about how many of “us” prefer how many of “them” and just make it important to have conversations between “me” and “you”.
Although I’m white, cock is cock. It’s all about poise and fun, for me. A cute black ass does it for me, Asian, Indian, Aboriginal, and if the chemistry is wrong, it’s wrong. All that said, I like them all in my own highly promiscuous way. If only white guys do it for you, fine, but you’re way missing out on a beautiful world, IMHO. Taller guys DO make me feel more like a bottom, but certainly not always, and the reverse is true, too.
Lmao, that’s not new with me, man, some of my best buds-ever, are/were Caucasian . . . However, they weren’t ‘sexually’ attracted to African Americans either . . . no big deal, really. I’m a Minnesotan, born and raised, I tend to be much more ‘versed’ in the largely shared idiosyncrasies of Caucasian people, as it pertains to my “ethnicity” than ‘they’ tend to be of mine, just live, learn, laugh, love and be so, loved. The opposite exists too, I have known African Americans, etc., who would ‘never’ be sexually involved with Caucasians, especially. It’s all relative, really. I… Read more »
Damn he said all that?
Hot is hot. Tall or short, doesn’t really matter to me. Good points about 69-ing above but I find it to be somewhat overrated anyway (maybe a topic for another blog post lol).
Where there is a will, there is a way. IMHO, a positive mental attitude far outweighs any short comings based on a less than perfect matching physical attribute .
I’m firmly under the impression that unless your hooking up with your identical twin, your dealing with someone that isn’t a perfect physical match.
The guy with the biggest cock is the top. Haha. Just kidding.
Nope, no difference at all. As a top I have done both rather successfully.
As a predominately oral bottom height makes no difference to me since I plan to be on my knees or on my back anyway.
I am mostly a bottom by far and shorter smaller guys tend to being out my top side, but they are also my overall preferred type which is not exactly handy because I am 5 9 and weigh 155 so that narrows the field. I don’t mind taller guys but a lot of gay guys I know want a taller guy.
I think the other way around is better. Some of the best sex I’ve ever had is when the bottom is taller than I am.
I’m 6 feet tall 200 lbs bi bottom,,,, sometimes I wish I was short with a small frame,,,, for some reason I’ve always wanted a tall well built guy to pick me up and either I wrap my legs around him during are pick me up with my back to his chest and sit me on it and bounce me up and down on it during sex,, those are my dream positions as a bottom,,,it’s not too many men out there that can pick up a bottom my size
I am 6’1″. So, I’ve always been usually (but not always) taller than every guy I’ve ever dated or connected with. Rarely have I run into a guy my height or taller. With that said though, being 100% versatile, I must say that a taller, rugged/handsome muscular type just brings out the bottom in me. And, a boy-next-door/handsome type, my height or shorter, will bring out the FLIP side of me. Anything below 5’6″ and I will more than likely go into top mode. I don’t know how to explain it, but that’s just how my drive works with specific… Read more »
I like men my height, 5’9 to 6’2, that’s just the way I’m wired. I also prefer guys that weigh between 180 and 250lbs, again that’s how I’m wired. Can’t we celebrate our diversity?