(Photo Credits: Africa Studio from Shutterstock)
Hey, guys! For sure, some of you here on the A4A blog have low or no interest in or zero desire for any type of sexual activity, but for those who do love having sex, what are the things that you hate about it?
We read quite a bit on what some gay men think about this matter, and here is more or less a précis of some of the popular answers we gathered online:
- Cleaning – they are talking about the effort of having to clean and prepare before sex, and the anxiety that comes with it: are they clean enough? Will there be ‘accidents’ during sex? And then there’s also the clean-up after, especially if indeed, there had been an ‘accident.’
- Teeth – when you are receiving a blowjob and his teeth come with it. Of course, they’ll hate it because it’s painful.
- Performance – they say some men think they are delivering a performance, or worse, that they “want to have sex like pornstars,” that sex has to be like the ones we see in porn.
- Hygiene – lack of personal hygiene is a huge turn-off. There won’t be any kissing when he has halitosis, and what about if both their dick and hole are smelly? Then rimming and blowjob will both be off the table. Truth is, they may as well forget about sex altogether if this is the case.
- Workout – some guys hate it when sex feels like working out. Worse, when the sex positions are so acrobatic that it’s not simply challenging but they feel like they are going to break a bone or two in the process.
- Moaning – two things have been mentioned when it comes to moaning: fake moans, and complete silence. The former, they say, is annoying while the lack of it is creepy. Personally, I get anxious and worried when my partner is totally silent, same when I hear fake moans emanating from him. Whether they are silent or are faking their moans, they give the idea that they not enjoying the act.
Having said all that, what about you, guys? What are the things you hate about sex? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below!
Cleaning for sure hate when a guys ass isn’t Clean when he says it is .Hygiene is another one If there is any kind of smell I’m out the door
Sex is a gift. Just practice routine hygiene, have a conversation ahead of time with someone who seems interested about options, and have fun!! Maybe the first time wasn’t perfect; make a date to fine tune it.
If it’s something you hate, are only looking for some new God guy to magically make you happy, and aren’t wiling to work on, please stay home, look at porn, and fantasize about celebrities.
Such Ruminations!
Great post!!!!
I don’t have to fantasize about what a great fuck, 23 year old Mario Lopez was…..
Besides what is already mentioned in the article, I hate when a guy doesn’t want to respect your limitations! Big turnoff!
I completely agree with you Sean. Some guys have very distorted minds they whatever they watched or have seen in porn, they start seeing other guys as sex objects similar to how straight guys see women, as in believing that the guy they’re interested in meeting has zero morals and would do absolutely anything sexually, forgetting that porn and reality is two completely different things, and every guy are not the same and some have morals and limitations. Guys who view the world as they view about porn needs to understand that pornography are people who have sex on camera… Read more »
Agreed. I had a guy that was very large, and he kept grabbing my head and making me choke on his cock. I asked him to stop and told him to stop. I finally told him is he didn’t stop, I would just get dressed and leave. Once I threatened to leave him with blue balls, he complied, but he was entirely too forceful and I don’t want to gag to the point of crying due to choking. No fun.
When you chat with a guy for an hour on a date site, and you finally decide to hook-up he tells you well I still need to shower and clean up. BLOCK
TELL HIM TO WAIT AND SHOWER HIM UP!
Hold on O, . . . John didn’t indicate he liked his partners clean. Maybe he likes them all stanky and nassy! Otherwise, your suggestion is on point. I suggest to all my guys to come as they are and we bathe each other. Good times!
Don’t think I would block for this….the conversation has to occur to ensure there is some chemistry (at least on paper)…..whats the point of getting cleaned up, thinking you will definitely hookup, and then poof! the conversation goes side ways and there is no chance of a hookup? IMO, If the guy holds your interest to chat for an hour, more time to get ready for the physical meet up is reasonable.
I want you to shower before we hook up..
It seems like in the transactional nature of how you view this situation, if you’ve invested an hour of time chatting or looking, you’d be willing to give him the extra 30 or 40 minutes to get ready. Otherwise, you just wasted your time and his time you can’t wait the additional 30 or 40 minutes so that you both can be comfortable and confidant in bed? Especially if the guy is a bottom, give him the opportunity to clean up.
Uncut cock with a drooling head
All cocks should be uncut! Circumcision is barbaric and there are absolutely ZERO pros when it comes to being cut, only CONS.
Wrong and shallow generalization comment.
The truth is shallow? Why don’t you research why it’s even a thing.
Cock cheese, for sure. Klingons, too. Feeling used. No affection, no caring. Gay men give lousy head, straight men give wonderful head. Why? My theory is, straight men respect and worship a man’s cock, while gay men just want to suck on it and end up abusing it. The worst part is, not having it when you want it and need it, and having it when you don’t want it or need it. Or with the wrong partner. Or getting a disease from it.
Cheese of-the-human-kind is never a tasty morsel!
It afflicts the nostrils; It afflicts the palate; It afflicts the eyes and it afflicts the senses!
It is an odious affliction that can affect all those who are uncut and who do not practice effective and efficient methods of hygiene!
Cheese coming from a Fondue Pot is certainty more appealing than cheese coming from the crotch!
See “Shower When You Meet.”
Padre:
While I do understand & espouse the “Necessity Of A Shower,” I am not running a “Homotel”!
Thus, I do not allow guests to use my shower “Upon Entrance”! They may shower “After Performance”!
If you do not pride yourself by showering prior to a meet; there shall be no greet! Just a dismissal!
There’s no excuse for a cheesy dick. It takes 2 seconds to pull the skin back and wipe it clean. If soap irritates the sensitive skin plain water will be fine. In new born boys the foreskin is sealed shut with a membrane and the smegma keeps the glans clean of urine. The Greeks call it soap. After the foreskin opens it collects sweat, dead skin cells and lint. Basic hygiene mandates cleaning the glans. If you’re one those guys with a “tight foreskin” that doesn’t pull back at all talk to your urologist. You have phimosis. The opening can… Read more »
Two of my best buds are uncut. One was adamant that we shower together before play. He’d always clean under his hood (de-cheese) apologizing that he needed to. In our 3rd shower I stopped him. Told him to teach me how to do it. He walked me through it, excited that I’d handle his manhood with such care.
When I was next with the second bud and took the lead in taking care of cleaning under his hood as a routine matter … let’s just say he rewarded me well!
Be easy. Be gentile. Respect your partner. Have fun!
that whomever shows up at your door – from a free sex site – resembles “Halloween” in all of its manifestations!
“tis true that you do not pay for it – to meet it – but you pay for it – when you have to ask it – to leave!
Either way – it makes sex – a potential avoidance!
You refer to a person as, “it?” That’s alarming.
If, you’re not a kisser during sex is a turn off to me. Rimming and kissing doesn’t work for me.
I think what I hate the most is the fact that you have to actually look like the guys in the picture of this article to really get any that’s halfway good.
Getting robbed. Shaved body hair. Not being willing to shower. Not reciprocating in any way.
A lot of times, I do not agree with you. But on every one of these, absolutely concur.
Don’t know if this qualifies, but I hate Tops that literally only seem hell-bent on destroying your asshole; I mean, I understand wanting to fuck hard–but, dude, a LITTLE finesse doesn’t hurt either lol…sheesh!! Other than that, as a Bottom of course I worry some about being clean enough; I usually get a little “nervous” at first, but if he hasn’t mentioned anything after a few minutes I figure we’re good-to-go…and I’m an unapologetic moaner; sorry, not sorry, but I can’t help it–not like over the top porn-moaning or anything, but if you were standing outside the door there’d be… Read more »
I hate how long it takes to get ready to bottom, but nothing feels better than a cock breeding me. I hate when a guy had bad breath or other odors, I will leave or tell him to leave. Guys that just want to stick it in, fucking like a piston, cum, and done in two minutes… Nope, lame. Also, I’ve had a couple guys cum as they are sliding into me – the fuck guys? You can’t control yourself? One I made leave, the other I threw on his back, lubed his hole, and bred him. He was extra… Read more »
I believe what you described as your second reaction is called rape!! He should have called the police.
LOL, not even close. But since you want every detail, I asked first and he wanted it. He was horny too. I think he was one of those that claimed to be vers and was really bottom.
May I remind everyone…
“You Cannot Rape The Willing”!
and
“There is no such thing as “Voluntary Molestation”!
I like “rape” role play when I am the bottom wanting my hole wrecked.
As a top, I worry about you being clean.. Not cool to enjoy your ass immensely, only to pull out and be covered with your lunch…
So, I take it you don’t bottom and have never had to endure being anything other than pristine from that perspective. Even with the best prep efforts, sometimes shit just happens. Be, at the very least, courteous if not compassionate for the fact that it is way more akward for the bottom than it is for you when that happens. Wash off and carry on.
I bottom sometimes.. I have been told I have a nice ass for being a top.. because I bottom so infrequently, I have never had an issue, yet..
I never ask to fuck a guy. That is lame and you’re a loser if you have to ask. In fact I never became a successful top until I learned to never ask. I do stop with my head at the lips and count to 3 before entering. That gives anyone time to object. Out of 8,000 guys only 2 have ever stopped me……
No shows.
Had one last night, now he’s blocked.
More and more I hate that sex is becoming “wham, bam, thank you Dan.” Even if you’re hooking up for the first time with a trick from online, take some time during and after. There might be more for the two of you to experience together.
I agree.
You’re spot on right. The problem is so many cheats out there that have to run to get back to their husbands and wives before they’re missed too long.
that is why I play after midnite since the cheaters are usually already home with their mates
If I were looking to experience more, we would not be hooking up. We’d be on a date.
anal penetration is messy, i don’t care how clean you are. sticky lube, etc that you have to use. Not interested in that mess. Just oral is perfect.
To give or get?
I ask because it should only go one way. This is why I am gay and he is not.
Your dick must not be long enough to enter the second hole….
Things that turn me off: guys who don’t kiss or suck cock well, dirty asses, bad breath, no affection and guys high meth who can’t hold still long enough to get fucked.
There needs to be a new drug because everyone in the 417 is burned out and looks it. Older fruits who only frollup with younger meth heads is getting old, as is prostitution whether you fuck for drugs or money. Meth has turned this town into a boring ugly scene loaded with cock suckers and bottoms and that’s sad, of course it is the Bible-belt so what would one expect? A bunch of fags who have been psychologically battered from birth until death. I hate when someone goes after my dick I can’t stand getting head, also, why is it… Read more »
You whine and complain and leave an image of a NAZI swastika? Seriously? You may be your own problem.
You know what is worse and more toxic than Nazis? Marxists ! They are the stealth evil from hell. “The Peoples Liberation Army”. They murdered 65 million during the “”great leap forward”. Marxism is evil wrapped in faux compassion. Sure they are for the “people”.
I don’t like a guy with bad breath or smokes it is a turn off and not caring about his appearance, Just not being clean is a turn off completely. not kissing is Awful if you. An SUCK a Dick you shove able to KISS.
You right on all point bro….
(Blowing smoke in your gijoe face)…
Totally agree, if a guy can not lay on you or next to you and sensually kiss then that’s a deal breaker for me. I have chatted with guys and totally turned on about what they are saying and wanting to do with my cock and ass, then I say “I want your tongue in my mouth while you are on top” and they say, no way I don’t kiss, WTF, suck, eat ass but won’t kiss. See Ya.
Not everyone is a high school girl….
I would love to return the favor of sex(be vestibule) but after I am topped I worry about getting my penis hard enough to return the pleasure
My response is nothing. As an aging married bi guy completely hidden in the closet, my social side has always been totally hetero but my sexual side has become completely homo (and thankfully my wife doesn’t seem to care or notice). I can say that compared to hetero sex, homo sex offers such variety that even when I’ve hooked up with guys who were only into this or that and nothing else, we still found our ways to pleasure each other. So I really shouldn’t even have responded to this blog because it’s all spec-tac-ular!
That sounds a lot like me! Married and in the closet. But damn, I just LOVE sex with men. I’m a bottom and always make sure I shower and cleanup before going over to get fucked. Sure it is a bit work and I generally don’t eat past lunch if I know I’m hooking up that night. But still worth it to me! But I pretty much love it all except for dirty, stinky guys. Some are more fun than others, but it is still a hot time
See Rick? You just listed one of the many wonderful things. I love it when I meet a guy, we go right into the shower together, get all sudsed over, make out, get our knees a little sore, scrub then eat out each others’ asses, then rinse off and really get down to it!
Yeah, well somebody is getting, and keeping it at home, too. I can only imagine what your life is like and I’m not jealous or upset, that’s not my place. You are an adult so the choice is yours. About me? I’m not terribly particular. I like out of the ordinary, guys who don’t fit the stereotypes of homosexuality; geeks, nerds, mountain men, bikers, facial and body hair, practically anything other than the Ken doll look (specifically, although I am a fan of GQ), those will be good for me. I am going on 60 yo (look 40 something), 35… Read more »
the goo-goo ya gotta clean up, after you done, honey .. gotta love the smell of cum as it smells like detergent or cloroXXX tho
I totally agree that proper hygiene is a must. The kissing thing…maybe it’s just me, but I don’t want to kiss a guy. I don’t mind sucking his dick though. I’m verse and I don’t see how hard it is to be clean, buy a douche clean your ass. I get a lot of compliments on my clean hole. I’m different after too, I just want to be alone.
I was just talking to a friend about this the other day . In the beginning when I would have sex with men, after I came I would have instant guilt and shame….. thank goodness that passed lol but it was something that I hated about after sex if that makes any sense
Yep still that way unfortunately….. that’s why a lot of times I get my partner off and i don’t cum…. keeps me in the mood otherwise when I cum it could be a week or more until i’m interested again…. I know I’m not the only one like that out there…
does not last long enough
I’m curious about the cheese but yall have scared me away from observing it. I’m very tolerant of most mild smells. My only issue is people trying to imitate porn performance. It’s not realistic. I have a friend and he’s a great top. I’ve learned more from our playing with others than any porn.
Men who don’t seem to know the first thing about sensuality, who get off without getting their partner off, and who don’t realize that there are pre-sex, during-sex, and post-sex behaviors that can make the whole experience physically and mentally pleasing, or not.
Not getting enough or the minute men
I find it alarming the number of tops who are ok if I don’t clean out. SERIOUSLY?!?! GROSS!!!!!!!
I’ve noticed and avoid, give no energy to those who are only ‘there in the flesh’ emotionally vacant, they’re not really there; mechanical.
When you get the feeling, they’re just settling for what they can get as total bottoms; just to be drilled for the night.
The exploiters: those out for “BBC” not the man, but the dick.
Those who do not kiss.
Cheese dicks/bad hygiene.
Guys that are a social stick in the mud.. You know the ones that are an emotional downer, that have no discretion and openly talk about their sexual past activities, like when they were camp counselors or boy scouts, and the talk about in a crowded restaurant full of striaght people and their families and children. But then set limits on what they will and wont do in bed, even before the subject of having sex is discussed. I’ve know the guy for 40 years and he used to give the best BJ’s but now he’s a decrepit old fart… Read more »
You say you’re a bottom, but you have zero skills… no passion, energy ect. Nothing worse than a lazy fuck.
If you had to choose, which do you think is more important–skill or passion?? I’m a bottom, and I’ve always said what lack in skill I make up for in eagerness to please…I love sucking cock; I’m not super skilled at deep throating or whatever, but I’ve had enough cum in my mouth (and on my face, etc) to know I’m doing SOMEthing right…I agree though, if you don’t have either what’s the point lol??
I prefer so I would say only the person you’re with can truly answer that for you.
I like sex just fine! What I hate is casual sex! I need to have feelings for someone to have any kind of good sex them. It’s getting ridiculously hard to find anyone who is willing to even go on a date, or is genuinely open to a romantic relationship, let alone being able to spend enough time with them to develop a connection before having sex.
Problem with sex? The fact that gays can only relate to each other sexually, or failing that in a campy way. “Gay culture” offers no other options. This is a tragic limitation in life, and as men we deserve better. Decades of observation show me that gay basically equals sex, and nothing more. (Cue the crabs in the bucket in 3, 2, 1…)
Guys with mental and emotional issues. The ones that think they are too good for you but they still continue to lead you on and “just want to be friends” (then why are you on a page for hookups, showing pics of your asshole). Then you find out the dude picks up truck drivers in the highway rest stop toilets. And gets gang banged by strangers at Detroit underground sex clubs.. Seriously, and I don’t meet your standards..? Imagine my Suprise when after a three year break from the guy. I ran into him only to learn he was now… Read more »
The thing I hate most is not getting any.
Poo on my dick…. But then some of the best fucks and balls deep cums I have experienced (the 22 year old Hawaiian god, on the pineapple plantation above Lahaina in a full moon) have ended up with poo on my dick, when I pulled out. So whatever… I’ll just wipe it off on the drapes.
Having to look for it because relationships don’t work, and even when they do, you’re not guaranteed to have sex and fuck buddies end up being lame game players who are never available, likely because they already have a dozen other fuck buddies.
Lax hygiene and unskilled head and inhospitality
The list above is a good start. Probably the biggest turn off for me, is poor communication! A lot of guys ask what I like and I tell them. I ask them what they want and they say the same things I mentioned. We get together and they are all upset that I come in expecting that we do what I said I wanted to do. One guy I got with a few times a month for a couple of years said he loved giving me blowjobs. I really enjoy receiving a good blow job. When we set a time… Read more »