(Photo Credits: Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels)
So, you met a guy. He’s sexy, attractive, smart, and funny. He’s mostly everything you thought how your dream guy or ideal guy would be.
And your chemistry? It was off the charts!
The two of you had just the best date of your lives and you couldn’t get your hands off each other, you get down and dirty, and that’s when you guys discover something else: he’s a top, like you. Or bottom, really, the point is, does him having the same position as you in bed a dealbreaker?
Will you still date him? Would you try to work it out with him? Do you think you’d still have a satisfying sex life in spite of this?
You see, for other people, it’s not a happy relationship unless their sexual needs are being met, and if this is the case, then their relationship is doomed. As a friend of mine said, “love is fine but it also has to translate in the bedroom.”
So, when you meet someone who is also a top like you, would you bottom for him? Or what about if you’re a bottom, would you top for him?
Anyway, one of our readers named TOMMYYBOY12 said about this topic:
I think the bigger issue would be with two total tops 0.0 don’t you think? 😉 I used to be a total top and would be completely turned off by the thought of having something up my ass… of course , luckily, I found a guy that changed that for me… but I can’t imagine having a good sexual relationship with another total top when I was one myself…
Meanwhile, another blog reader named James said something akin to the first answer above, “Not likely because if they are 2 guys in love and committed then one of them has to be the dominant rough top guy and the other bottom, or they can be versatile, but someone has to put his wiener in the other guy’s ass and mouth during sex.”
Do you agree with them, guys? Moreover, have you ever been in this kind of situation before? If so, what did the two of you do? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section down below!
I met a guy recently who is also a top. We’d both cool with. It, no expectations, no pressure, there’s a very interesting force between us and we see that. Though it’s still early, I’m kind of thinking I may want to give it up to this guy, we havent really talked about it yet, we are more or less just letting it unfold on its own. My standpoint is this. If you’re sticking me, count on or be prepared for me to be sticking you too. Fair is fair and if you love each other, then it shouldn’t really… Read more »
Early dating and you (as a top) are already thinking about him topping YOU? You may have more bottom in you than you think. Damn there goes another one.
I think they can be friends, but ultimately the sex subject will hinder a true relationship to occur.
Guess again, Kimosabe.
The first thing they should do, is grow the friendship, energize their love, expand their understanding, explore their personal feelings, and open their honesty to each other, in a true mutual way. Then, stick to frottage or masturbation and foreplay as they coalesce. This is so they can explore the foundation and attitudes of topness. If they top just because they like the feel of being inside, or if it is because they like pleasing a bottom, that is workable. If they just never learned or had to learn to bottom, but are willing, that is workable. If it is… Read more »
Great. You’ve just turned the few real tops we have into bottoms.
Have you considered topping so that there will be more to go around? Then perhaps you won’t feel so slighted
I came to read all of the success stories.
It can definitely work out. Stop thinking missionary boy girl sex position. Toys, good lube and some thunder thighs.. penetration.
✂️ bottom ✂️ have at it
Not necessarily. Total top here who hates anything near my bottom. Putting 2 people like that together solves nothing.
Right. The two guys in the picture kissing look the part. They both look masculine and very hot. We use to say when two tops get together sexually, sword fighting takes place. Lol
Did they both look masculine? That’s open for discussion. Lol
James seems to have a very clear heteronormative view on how sex goes despite being, what I’m going to assume is clearly, gay. Being dominant/rough while topping has it’s time and place, but that definitely isn’t every time. Much like being (again just assuming based on what you implied) a submissive/sissy (??? idk whatever you think the opposite of rough is) bottom has a time and place. I know I’ve been with my fair share of dominant bottoms so they are out there, but i’m getting away from the original point. Can similarly positioned men in this top/bttm/vers labeled world… Read more »
I was under the impression of monogamous. If it wasn’t, this question really isn’t a question.
Hahaha…love what you said. Two total tops in the same room at the same time (should be my lucky day). Then the two tops go for EACH other and wrestle to see who is actually on top! Fantasyland.
No, I don’t think it can survive in the long run. It can be exciting and fun in the beginning. A lot of creativity, understanding and patience have to take place. It’s like having a really, really good appetizer and no main course if they try to go at it alone without inviting a 3rd person (versatile or bottom guy) in their bedroom from time to time. I think it’s really hard for a strictly top guy to convert and enjoy it.
When I was in a relationship with a guy who identified as Top as well, we had 3somes regularly with a bottom. Sometimes we would bottom for each other, but mainly we would bring a third guy who was a bottom into the situation.
Same here. My partner is a top and I was a versatile bottom when I met him. But, after I turned 40, I became more of a top so my partner and I of 17 years like to find a third who is a bottom. I love sharing a guy with him; it’s a major turn-on
Such a huge issue. I think you are really missing the point here. The true issue is who has the bigger penis. Scores of studies have shown the man with tha smaller penis is never really happy. Only men with the larger penis is really happy. Top or bottom doesn’t matter. Much like this ridiculous article. I’m happy only because my penis is bigger than my husband’s ex-husband’s.
Scores of studies? Care to name one or two? I’d like to read more.
I don’t know about that . . . . I am a power bottom that can flip but I have yet to be with a man with a cock larger than mine. To me it is all about the emotion and mental connection AND the Power of The Prostate.
I never understood what a power bottom actually does?
ANYTHING and EVERYTHING, I think?
If the sole reason you’re happy is because your penis is larger than your husband’s ex-husband’s penis, then you have no reason to be happy in the first place. Seek help.
Any relationship can work as long as no one expects total monogamy. Just cause there’s steak at home, doesn’t mean you don’t just want a quick burger once in awhile.
WHY do people shut down the idea of monogamy? I see it the opposite: why be in a relationship if you have to go to another person to be satisfied?
I would never knock monogamy even though I would never practice it. I don’t have a partner, but if he wanted to have sex outside of our relationship, go for it! It’s just sex. When I broke up with my last partner, it wasn’t about sex; and we were not monogamous. We broke up because we outgrew each other. It happens. My issue with monogamy is that gay men follow the heternormative behavior that they many (not all) grew up with, i.e., that monogamy was absolute and the golden rule for a long-term relationship. For me, the dynamics between a… Read more »
So basically you want all the “goodies” of a legal marriage, relationship, whatever, without the responsibility of keeping the private most intimate experience you can have in a relationship up for grabs because it just feels good? I really like the good old trop, “men like sex, not making love. They like SEX.” Yes they do. Like animals in a zoo. Your statements are certainly not good advertising for gay relationships. Maybe your kind of man needs a little “heteronormative behavior.” Or maybe they just need to grow up.
Any couple, legally married or not, has the right to define their emotional and sexual relationships as they see fit. For some couples those relationships are bound together; for other couples they are separate.
I guess my question would be for those couples that are separate, which are the overwhelming number of “couples” I know, one has to wonder why bother with the formalities of coupledom? Granted, I have never been very good at navigating the idiosyncrasies of gay life. Still learning.
Maybe coupledom is not just a formality.
Because some people are emotionally sophisticated enough to know that love and sex are two separate things?
Separate for some people. One and the same for others. Why do so many gays demand to be accepted for who they are, but then feel it’s their right to dictate their narrow beliefs and perceptions on other gay guys?
Oh, stop being a whiny cunt. No one’s telling you your relationship has to be anything other than monogamous.
Oh stop being a whiny ass and read what was written. “Separate for some people. One and the same for others.” Gay relationships don’t have to be monogamous They can be that or open or whatever the partners involved want them to be.
Any couple can make it work even if they are both tops or bottoms.Love is love and it shouldn’t matter.What people seem to forget is SEX is not the most important thing in a relationship.For example, my relationship with my BF, i am a bottom and he is still playing the V card. He doesn’t know if he is a top or bottom, he wants to try both to see what he prefers. Anybody can make work.
At my age perspective is the order of the day. My experience is that there simply are not enough tops out there for this to be a real issue. Usually the problem is with having two bottoms in a relationship, which is far more likely. Monogamy in a relationship? Please. Highly unlikely that at least one partner is not getting it on the side secretly. Happily partnered, married, open relationship, blah, blah, blah. And as far as versatile? Please, does that mean that one partner reluctantly will top or bottom on occasion, like for a birthday? As a bottom, I… Read more »
I used to meet with a married couple who both topped me, we didn’t talk much but neither of them ever really paid attention to the other’s behind, which was the turn on for me. It was interesting that one of them always kissed me while the other is pounding away. It was great for me but it definitely was not common. I have lost touch with them unfortunately.
Not all gay guys are into anal, a reality much of “The Community” is in denial about. There are many wonderful, toe-curling sex options that have nothing to do with a penis in an anus.
Now, there’s an intelligent remark, at least as far as us who are only in it for the sex are concerned. I’ve had very fulfilling sexual experiences with fellow tops and we were basically able to do anything – just no fucking.
Many? I’m intrigued!! We all grown on here. You mind sharing at least 8 “wonderful, toe-curling sexual options” you’re speaking off? Thanks
8 only? Oral sex (single or 69), masturbation (self with partner watching, partner, or mutual in a 69 or other creative position), nipple play (can make some guys orgasm), electronic toys (a host of them that stimulate or vibrate various body parts), massage lotions/lubes (some warm, some create a tingle), adding warm or cold foods (chocolate, whipped cream, or fruit), after a guy ejaculates uses of his cum. Then there’s location (a secluded site for naked play, underwater in bathtub, pool or lake). Plus numerous other variations posters here could chime in with.
I didn’t notice Overt’s response before my own. Now seeing that, I could jump in again to fend off a possible second question from Marcus, which could be “so you need all that just to appease two tops; doesn’t seem worth it.” I guess I’d draw attention to my earlier response and just say that some of us (in a dual-tops situation) get plenty of pleasure keeping it simple.
Thanks
I guess your question was more for “Overt,” but I’m happy to jump in: I’m not sure how specific I can get in listing the dozens I’ve been part of, but yes, I stand by my own “many.” I find intense making out and grinding very fulfilling, followed by aggressive 69’ing and even some rimming and bingo – big ejaculations. What’s so intriguing about that?
I just got out of a similar situation only I’m a Vers top and he was a total top. He gave in but it was because he felt he had to and not because he wanted to
My husband and I are both bottoms and very happily together after 37 years. We do have an open relationship and out attitudes are very sex positive. I have never met a man, no matter how great a top he is, who could make me even consider not being with the love of my life!
I’m curious if you and your hubby have ever used one of those extra long dildos with the tip of the cock on both ends so that you have either end inside your asses simultaneously?
AND IF THAT SOMEONE I MET IS THE SAME SEXUAL POSITION TOP AS I AM THEN IT WILL NOT WORK OUT HAVING ANY TYPE OF SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS,,,,I’M NOT GOING TO BE BOTTOMING FOR SOMEONE WHO IS A TOP SEXUAL POSITION JUST LIKE MYSELF,,,,BECAUSE I DID NOT GET ON A GAY DATING WEBSITE TO SEARCH AND FIND ANOTHER TOP TO GO UP IN ME SEXUALLY LIKE THAT,,,,BUT IF I HAD MET THAT OTHER PERSON WITH THAT SAME TOP SEXUAL POSITION LIKE MYSELF IN THAT CASE THEN WE CAN HAVE WHAT IS DESCRIBED AS A,,,,NO SEX,,,,FRIENDSHIP AND OR RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT THAT TYPE… Read more »
I’m generally quite flexible, myself, except when to comes comes to bottoming anally w/ penile penetration. I guess it’s possible, though.
I have enjoyed my relationships with non-bottoms over the years, and find the dynamic of a competition to achieve the position that makes penetration almost unavoidable to be hot as fuck. Of course, those sweaty, passionate nights followed an evening of drinking, flirtation, and making out, and the desire and sense of both wanting and being wanted to the exclusion of any other organism on the planet made the social fiction of a “top” or “bottom” role being absolute, moot. Two guys who are all alone in the dark, and who are horned up and really into each other don’t… Read more »
I just lost a partner of 5 years, not due to any STD, but alcohol addiction, which I myself have a problem with. We were both tops and he let me top him a few times, but said he always felt he was tolerating something for me rather than enjoying it. I was more versatile but he was really huge and I only slightly, successfully “took it” twice. The love made up for it , eventually I allowed him to explore with other guys, I was the only guy he was ever with, he had been married 10 years and… Read more »
I had a four year sexual “relationship” with another top. We met and, as the article stated, the chemistry was off the charts. When it came time to get down to the gettin’ down, I was super apprehensive. My first exploration into being a bottom was a disaster and I was a total top from that point on. Luckily, he was a bit more sexually mature than I was and he opened my eyes to the fact that we are both men, we both enjoy sex, and there’s no shame in what we enjoy in sex as long as we… Read more »
Any relationship can work as long as ONE of you does not expect demand monogamy. My first BF was 9 x 5 and I was a virgin bottom. Hurt like Hell. And there was blood the next day. Luckily he loved getting fucked. We eventually broke up and I realized I am more bottom–this is partially I know about concerns over my size. I’d be able to take that 9er now.
I kind of run into the opposite problem. I’m a bottom, and I’m attracted to different types of guys, but aesthetically at least, I adore the femboy look and they’re nearly always fellow bottoms. I met a guy a few years ago who was absolutely breathtakingly attractive, and we ended up having this crazy chemistry together, but we were both bottoms. I still very nearly broke off a long term relationship with someone else to be with him, but in the end it didn’t work out. He (or should I say she) went on to eventually transition to female, but… Read more »