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How was your first time, guys? Moreover, did you lose your virginity to a stranger?
We are asking because some gay men on Reddit revealed they lost their virginity to a stranger and that they’ve since then regretted the experience. Would you say that it is the same for you?
The original poster (OP) of the thread, said that he was still a virgin at the age of 23 and that he was “having a bit of ‘mid-life crisis’ despite not being middle-aged.”
He explained that he wanted to lose his virginity to someone he was dating but that he had “never even been on a date before.” This led him to have anxiety and depression (he still does he says). He further shared that he’d given up on finding a boyfriend to lose his virginity to so he figured he’d just lose it to a stranger. Long story short, he met a stranger, and then he went to the guy’s house for “a very lukewarm experience.” OP said that while he didn’t regret losing it to a stranger, he does think he rushed it and he wished he waited for a guy he was a little more attracted to.
Anyway, one guy who responded to the OP’s question revealed:
Sounds similar to my first time. It wasn’t horrible or traumatizing or anything, but looking back, he was a selfish lover and a total douchebag. I don’t have any major regrets, though. I needed to get it over with, as I was being really down on myself for still being a virgin at 22. Still, I do kinda wish it was with someone better, but it also doesn’t really matter. Life goes on and I’ve had plenty of great sex since.
Another guy shared, “Long before apps, in the long ago (1985), I lost it in the backseat of my VW Scirocco to a guy I met 10 mins before in a gay bar.”
Meanwhile, one guy advised:
Virginity is not a real thing when it comes to gay sex. There’s no ‘hymen’ to break, and even that definition is iffy with straight couples.
Sexual inexperience is definitely a thing, though. That’s why, usually, the first 5-10 times you have sex, you’ll say stuff like ‘Wait, that’s it? This is sex? Huh.’ but it becomes a lot better the more you do it.
So, stop pitying yourself for ‘losing your virginity,’ and get over your sexual inexperience phase as quickly as you can, so you can also start enjoying the ‘real’ sex that comes afterwards.
Having said all that, this article agrees with the last commenter above. The author said, and we quote, “You had sex, and now you wish you hadn’t – it’s common to regret losing your virginity. Stop beating yourself up, the reality of losing it is often nothing like the fantasy.”
What about you, guys? Did you lose your virginity to a stranger? Did you regret losing it as well? Why or why not?
What advice would you give to those who regret losing theirs to someone they don’t know? And for our virgin readers, is really being a virgin such a depressing thought for you as well? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below!
My first time was forced. I was 17. So yeah, not a pleasant memory
My God, I am SO sorry that happened to you! That angers the F**CK out of me! I hope you were able to deal with that? Love is Beautiful and never make anyone else pay, because of that F**CK! XXXX Man, you matter
I can lament the loss of a tooth, hair, fingers, toes, genitalia, breasts, wealth, fortune, wife, children, Trump, youth, tax write-offs, deductions, or innocence.
Unless, the loss of virginity was met with the gain of AIDS, Hepatitis, Herpes, Ebola, HPV, CMV, or, God-Forbid, Hemorrhoids!
I lost mine through the repeatedly use of a rectal thermometer.
I’m sorry for you because that was not much to look forward to
Need a specific definition of “losing virginity.” I was a top for many years. But I did not feel as though I lost my virginity until I was penetrated anal my first time as a bottom.
That would be losing your Virginity in my book, for sure. wow
If your anal cavity were penetrated by a penis, you lost your virginity! If a tongue or a finger were applied, you would not lose your virginity, either.
Only a penis, a strap-on, umbrella tip, broom handle or the base of a flashlight would cause you to lose your virginity.
A rectal thermometer would not actually cause a loss of virginity…just allow a “Harbinger” of what a penis would do.
Hence, in actuality, I remain a Virgin!
Must be a slow social media day.
Just the usual “Horseshit” that passes for intellectual stimulation on this site!
Can’t expect any more…this is a “Sex-Site” and as such, whatever brains are present are usurped by what hangs between the legs; goes up between the cheeks; goes into and down the throat or any assorted combination of the aforementioned.
Stimulation, as such, is strictly genital or orifice…definitely not brain cells!
Like when my boss first said to me,” Step into my orifice, I’m going to give you a raise.” Boy did I get a boner when he gently caressed my crotch…
I didn’t lose my ass virginity till I was 51. I had sucked a few guys cocks and swallowed cumm but when I hooked up with the 1st guy that took my ass he was very rough and 1st he fucked my face and roughly fucked my throat and then turned me over and fucked my ass balls deep on the 1st stroke and wasn’t at all gentle till he was done and shot his load in my ass and left. A total stranger but after that I has well over 100 guys in the next 3 yrs and enjoyed… Read more »
Have always wondered on this “lose virginity” thing, lead to believe virginity has to do with cock and pussy, , wonder as was first played with (can’t reveal here, age) by cousin, we stroked and sucked each other, tried anal but failed, no lube or real idea on how, then moved on to teen friends /early 20s. all was masturbation and oral, so ??? even though had been sucked and had swallowed loads, was I still virgin, did not have pussy till right at 21, virginity lost according to some???? do I regret the MM , no, wish had done… Read more »
No, the ass is Virgin and tighter than a Pussy! So yes, bottoming is absolutely losing one’s Virginity. In the Medical Profession, it is also classified this way as well.
”the ass is Virgin and tighter than a Pussy!”, that’s right and a great reason lots of straight guys don’t mind a little ass now n then.
By the time I had sex with someone else in my teens, I’d masturbated a million times often fantasying about kissing and jerking off guys I’d seen and was attracted to.
Had never heard the term “lose your virginity.” I just knew after the first time it was awesome, far better than fantasy, and I wanted more!! Fortunately, the first was a guy that I got to have sex with many times, although not frequently, over many years thereafter. Never felt I’d lost anything. For sure felt I’d gained!
Well, it’s kind of a blessing in disguise, having lost my virginity, with the wrong two guys. There was a great deal to have been learned by me, which I learned from those two mistakes as these two separate guys knew what they were doing. I came out in the Spring of 80′ just before HIV/Aids; wasn’t feeling being a bottom anally, so the last top was a better person than the first and least, it didn’t hurt, but it didn’t really do so much for me either. So, I can’t say I regret it because I might not be… Read more »
Virginity is not something to be lost as much as something to be cured. There’s always a first time, it’s not often wonderful, and then there’s lots of great sex after that. Curing oneself of virginity is simply a part of growing up, like losing your baby teeth, sprouting pubic hair, and getting a drivers license. Don’t fret over it, just be glad it’s checked off the to do list.
When I do get to meet a new guy, I’ll usually say “the first time is awkward and a bit weird. Let’s get the test drive done.” The first time is like a “virginity” thing. This is after, of course, we’ve discussed a bit what our likes/dislikes are to help smooth out the first-time fun.
I have to disagree with that. Are you Partnered? Married to another man? These are things that this generation have to think about and the generation behind them. Back in the very early 80’s, it was a WHOLE Different World, especially in NYC. Thinking back on your first experience and “IF” you are Pwith a Lifelong Partner, or IF you married him. Do you think it might have been better to experience with HIM and have done in a phenomenal way? I am only asking; I am not judging you
I got lucky – literally! After 56 years of pretending to be ‘straight’, I met a man through some volunteer work. We became very close Friends. After a couple of years of ‘paling around’, one day he pulled my face to his and gave me the most erotic and exotic kiss I had ever experienced. It took us several attempts at oral [he was simply huge] before I began pleading with him to take my anal virginity. He had the patience of a saint – played my hole like it was a pussy – rimmed me for a long time… Read more »
THAT’S WHAT IS AM TALKING ABOUT!!! So, what would you tell a younger person to do? Wait for the right guy, or just screw around and not have that SUPER SPECIAL BOND with the right guy? Rember, this generation are out earlier, have Apps to meet and so many more avenues, than we did back in the day …. they tend to meet the right guy sooner, rather than later. With that in mind, would you tell them to wait? Just Curious …. Congrats to you and your Partner!
The loss of hymen is only one product of premarital sex – loss of virginity. That first experience comes with many feelings that can’t be duplicated. In the instance of regular male/female intercourse, both will always remember that special moment, and not in a good way if they are married to someone else. This someone else will never give them this special feeling. Does this same “thing” apply to gay sex? I’m sure I don’t know. But like everything else, there’s only one first time. If you get into a long-term gay relationship later in life, this loss of that… Read more »
I can ASSURE YOU IT DOES! From a man who lost his Virginity with a Catholic girl who was also a Virgin, as we were engaged and living together. 3 years later when I met my Husband to be. IT WAS ILDENTICAL, as I had never experienced something so new, so loving, so sacred and special to me. I made him wait, as I did not want to be just “another guy” to him. I buried two In-laws and I cared for one of them with a brain tumor for 9 months. His mother was a Nurse and that let… Read more »
My first time was with a guy i met online. He was actually pretty decent and took him time and didn’t force anything, he was also the guy who took my ass for the first time. Don’t regret it at all.I was 43 when i finally lost my V. And now in a relationship for over 6 years now. So no regrets
THAT is fantastic! Congrats and I hope you guys are very happy. It is not for everyone, we know this. But for those that DO want that Partnership, or Marriage …. to each his own.
No regrets! It was awesome with a very hot-looking guy! Totally unexpected!
Regret? Ha! I was dying to lose it. I was 18 and in the men’s room of the main student union building at my college and jerking off in a stall. An older guy was able to spot my hard-on as he walked past my stall, then he muttered “wanna fuck?” At first, I didn’t think he was the one for me. It was 1978 and he had one of those ’70s mustaches I was not into. But as I was bolting for the door, I stopped and thought “well, I’ve wanted this for awhile now, WTF?” So I turned… Read more »
See, everyone is different, and I am happy it worked out for you!
Now we have Marriage, and the playbook has a new Chapter in it.
EVERYONE has the right to decide what works for them!
Welp just wondering what am I. I’m not married nor do I have kids. I’ve never penetrated a guy nor have i been penetrated thats a no no. I’ve only gotten oral. That’s my only interest In guys the thought of it turns me back into jelly. Guys ask if I’m a top I say idk because I dont have any interests in penetrating them nor am I into penis. I dont think about guys until I want oral. I get it from both but I think about women all day long unless there not accessible I go another way.… Read more »
I agree with you! I have not been anally penetrated but I have anally penetrated a few guys. Part of me says I would like to be as I have been rimmed and fingered a few times. I prefer oral both ways! I am in my 70s now and only want to find guys to suck or be sucked!!
In my opinions, you think about guys “at some point” regardless of the reason. IF you are curious, FIND A GUY, Become “BEST FRIENDS” with only one guy. If it leads to making love, sex, whatever you want to call it and IF you decide to go all the way, make sure you are on pRep and use a Condom please! Condoms can break in women, as much as in Men, so you must have a second form of Protection! With the “RIGHT GUY” it ABSOLUTELY can be as beautiful and does with a woman! I think LOVE has a… Read more »
In many many posts on A4A, there’s a sentiment that you don’t even “qualify” as Gay if you don’t do anal. In many of the posts in this thread, it seems the line from Gay Virgin to non-Virgin is for sure Anal, and for sure Bottoming. For me, when I had my first sexual experience with another guy (kissing, sucking and orgasming), it was a change in my life. I’ve never felt like I “lost” anything when it happened. It was a gain.
I met Donald (who worked in the Met Opera Gift Shop) thru mutual friends. We knew each other for almost a year before we had sex. It was just the right time and the right moment. He was very gentle and caring and made it a special moment for me.
I would STRONGLY suggest, you lose it with a person YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH! I understand in an Alternative Lifestyle, LUST plays a big part in our world. I lost mine at 21 with a girl I was in love with at 21. We dated, then moved in together on the 3rd year. I was 24 when I met my Husband to be and MADE HIM WAIT! I was NOT going to be just “another notch” on the Bed Post. 4 Months later he gave me a wedding band on Valentine’s day and asked me to move in. We… Read more »
Seriously? What planet are you from?
If this hasn’t been asked:
WTF does this question mean? MANY PEOPLE don’t wish they were still a virgin.
I lost my virginity to myself, and I didn’t feel like I deserved myself. When I was young I had this ability to imagine so many things sexual, I miss that part of me the older I get, and all that jewelry bought for me then I’m buying it all back. It took me years to figure out why when I heard the L word I would run. Being the victim of emotional incest really messes a guy up relationship wise, trust destroyed is difficult to resurrect.
The only regret I have is not being with a man much sooner.
Never regretted it. Made my a better understanding man about sex
I started with a butt plug ,my first real time i met a guy who i have seen for 6 months so no regrets here
I think you asked the wrong question. Virginity is the one thing almost no one regrets losing. The proper question is “do you regret HOW you lost your virginity?”
I do NOT regret losing my “virginity” at all. My only regret about losing it to a guy for the first time is that I didn’t do it sooner. I started having sex in college around the age 19-20. When I finally had sex with this guy who I picked up in a bar and had a 5-year relationship with, I couldn’t believe that I had waited so long to have sex. I wish I had sex sooner, so I could have been a major slut in high school who entertained college frat boys and the football team
I regret my First Time, only because it was with a man whom I fell in love with at First Kiss (he was a Cancer and I am a Pisces), but then he ghosted me and–knowing I was in love with him–rubbed my face in all the men who are fucking him and the sex parties he was being invited to, as if I could stomach hearing of his exploits, which made me feel like a fool. Like the Indigo Girls song “Ghost” he still haunts me 25 years later because I’ve never been in a relationship, due largely to… Read more »
I lost my virginity a little late it was in college. I played sports soccer and tennis and it was with a football coach. He was 10 years old than me a line back built. Sucked my cock shot a load in his mouth he shallow each drop than I sucked him off. After that he fucked me in each position and filled my ass with cum. After that he licked me out and fingered me till it shot another load all over my chest. It was great.
I lost my virginity to an older man that got me drunk when I was 18. He more or less forced himself on me, but I didn’t really have a problem with it. I saw him for months afterward and had sex with him many times. He had a huge penis that I quite enjoyed.