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Hey, guys! How is your first week in year 2021 going? We hope you’re doing great, this guy from askgaybros though not so much, or at least not in the bedroom department. 

The gay man, known as user jj2801 on askgaybros, shared, “So, I’m a bottom and after a rather long dry spell, I had a couple of hookups recently. While I enjoyed the sex, I wasn’t hard while I was getting fucked. When the top was finished, I wasn’t in the mood anymore to jerk off or anything.”

He added that when he masturbates, the thought of getting fucked always turns him on but when he’s already actually doing it, he is not hard. 

“I enjoy it but some dudes were really taken back and thought I didn’t like it. The thing is, I’m starting to freak myself out during sex. Getting hard is kinda all I’m thinking about.” Lastly, he asked the gay men on askgaybros: “Maybe I’m too conditioned on masturbating rather than actual sex? What’s your experience? Does anyone have suggestions?”

One of the respondents on the thread called FukkBomba told the original poster (OP) that his dick also gets soft when he bottoms. He said, “You sound like a great bottom. There’s no problem here! When I bottom I ignore my dick.”

He advised OP to wear jockstrap while bottoming, “I like wearing a jockstrap because I’m so turned on and it’s a distraction to see my dick is soft. I find anal and prostate orgasms only happen when my dick is soft and I’m ignoring it. My dick gets hard and works fine when I’m jerking off, making out, or when I’m the top.”

Then he added, “Throw out any idea of what you think is expected of you and enjoy bottoming the way you’ve been doing it.”

User EarthQuest on the other hand, told OP, “Sounds like you’re psyching yourself out. Worrying too much about am I aroused or am I attracted can prevent things from happening.” While user MrAppleby assured him, “It is not a strange occurrence. Many bottoms experience this. Being pounded can take away the focus from you getting hard.”

Another user called ally053991, agreed with MrAppleby. He said, “You’re totally normal. Don’t worry too much about it.”

He then confessed, “I’m never hard during sex. It’s not that I’m not enjoying it or that I’m not aroused, it’s just that the other sensations are so intense that they just take over I guess. Some bottoms can stay hard during sex and I’m pretty jealous of them. Just not possible for some of us.”

Having said all that, how true is this for you, guys? Do you stay hard while bottoming or do you, like the OP, get soft during anal sex? What’s your experience and what would you advise jj2801? 

Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below but don’t forget to read our sex advice in the time of coronavirus; click here and here

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