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Would you have a romantic relationship or would you have sex with your boss or a colleague you are attracted to? But what if your manager is attracted to your boyfriend and he keeps bugging you about him? Would you allow your boyfriend to sleep with your manager? What if it’s the other way around and you are on the receiving end of said manager’s unwanted advances, would you sleep with your boyfriend’s boss anyway if it meant your boyfriend will “have better prospects” and it will “make things better at work ” for him?
Wait, what?
Yes, you’ve read it right! This is the dilemma of “Troubled Man (TM)” who sought an advice from this columnist on how to go about his situation. Apparently, his boyfriend’s boss is also gay and said boss had repeatedly expressed his interest to TM’s boyfriend. The manager would tell his boyfriend how he wanted to “anally penetrate” TM which his boyfriend had initially dismissed as drunken talk but fast forward to one month and things at work had become increasingly hard with each dismissal. Moreover, the pressure had started to put a strain between them especially since the boyfriend had started to suggest that they open their relationship and could TM please take up manager on his offer? Read the entire story here.
If it were you, what would you do guys? How far are you willing to go to help your boyfriend and what advice would you give this Troubled Man? In any case, have you ever been hit on by your boss or by a colleague? If so, what did you do? Did you sleep with them?
This survey says that 28% of their study participants have slept with their boss while 58% of them knew of a coworker who had slept with their superiors. What did the research participants do when they found out that a colleague had slept with their boss? A whopping 64.5% said they did nothing but 16% of them admitted they gossiped about it while 10.5% reported the relationship to HR and an additional 11.4% sent an anonymous tip to the HR and/or higher-ups.
But why do people sleep with their bosses? The main reason of course, is that they were sexually attracted to their boss at 66.5%, 12.1% admitted it was for a pay raise, while some said it’s for a larger bonus and for a promotion, both at 11.2% respectively.
Incidentally, 8.3% revealed that they are willing to sleep with the boss to help a colleague get a raise while 7.3% said they did it to help get a friend hired.
Anyway, whether it’s you who’s being propositioned or your boyfriend through you or if you’re the one who’s doing the propositioning, or if you’re sleeping with the boss to get your boyfriend hired or promoted, apparently it’s not exactly uncommon but it would pay to remember several things. First, is the feeling mutual? Secondly, do you have their consent? And lastly, what is your company’s policy when it comes to workplace romances and dalliances? Some companies prohibit romantic relationship and it could cost you your job even if it is consensual as in the case of McDonald’s CEO and his departure from the organization very recently.
Thoughts? Share it with us in the comments section below.
Oh, good Lord no. Workplace and sex are a disastrous mix, no matter the motivation.
Sexual harassment is exactly that. Being gay doesn’t change anything. Being too open minded makes us more vulnerable. I was lured into a “relationship” with my doctor, and while it was “fun” to explore, in the end, it was damaging. He assumed a power differential, and when they actually have power, they may use it. So, it’s only okay if you can remove the differential, if you can discern that it would be a serious relationship and responsible, and if they don’t ask you to sacrifice anything.
Best to consult a labor lawyer first. Things are most likely to go south eventually, and and exit strategy is a must. You might be the top, but in the end you’ll get f**ked for sure. And without lube
It is called Harassment! it is illegal and punishable in any workplace! Many states protect you from this type of on the job harassment aka employment!
Actually, the answer given by “RainbowMan” in the full story link you gave covers pretty much all the nuances of this situation, to which there is not a single “right” answer or solution. A resolution depends on the parties involved and their respective ethics, values, and morality. In general, sleeping with the boss is a bad idea. For a boss these days it is downright stupid what he is proposing, simply because of the hysterical environment the women have created has spilled over to male interactions, because of women’s inability to understand basic sexuality of men and women’s past gutlessness… Read more »
You’re a long-winded, misogynistic cunt. Get a grip.
Somebody saying something about a subset of women that isnt GLOWINGLY POSITIVE doesnt mean they hate women. Stop white knighting
Their are deadbeat incompetent Dunning-Kreuger men, but that same type of woman existing somewhere in the country? Nahhh, couldnt be. Log off the internet fantasy and come back down to reality, he didnt say anything that was 100% bullshit or close to it…
tldr: Dont throw out the baby with the bath water. Its immature thinking
NEVER mix the boardroom with the bedroom. Period.
No. No. and No. It is unethical, desperate. bad for the office environment, and just a horrible idea. There are plenty of other people in the world (or within distance to have sex with) other than resulting to blurring lines in the office. If you can’t keep yourself from doing it, we should probably be having a different conversation!
In all honesty keeping things professional at the workplace is the way to go, even if you’re attracted to your boss, no, just no. Imagine the gossip and your reputation if your coworkers knew you slept with him for a ‘promotion’, I’m sorry but that makes you look desperate with low self worth and I consider that ‘cheating the system’. You might get the raise but at what price? And I still think the same way if it’s the creeper type that he’s hitting on you proposing you to do things to get a raise. And hell no, I wouldn’t… Read more »
Sounds like a sexual harassment claim waiting to happen to me. If I had a boyfriend and my boss said that to me, I’d report the issue to HR right away because that is very inappropriate and unprofessional.
When it comes to my career, job, money and future, it is best for me not to get involved with anyone at work. Sleeping with the boss is not cool for a number of reasons. For me, work is work, play is separate. Does anyone watch the news? Matt Lauer? Charlie Rose? Tavis Smiley? Harvey Weinstein?
Anybody who would sleep with Harvey Weinstein voluntarily is either blind, deaf, without olfactory sense, and plain having no sense, or just plain insane! Weinstein is positively frightful!
The troubled man should talk to HR and have that bastard fired.
If the working boyfriend brought it up, just because they are honest with each other, that is full disclosure and it is admirable. But if he brought it up, to test the waters, and literally to test the relationship by seeing if the target boyfriend was willing to whore out for the worker, I have another view entirely. I do not know how hard the job was to get, or whether the worker truly enjoys it, or how much of a weenie the worker is, but he really needs to record one of those comment sessions and go to HR.… Read more »
Absolutely! Quite apart from the stupidity, etc., of the boss, the worker has displayed a major character flaw in himself, absent some REALLY extraordinary undisclosed circumstances.
If the boss sleeps with you, YOU hold all the cards. The boss cannot do anything against you because all you need to say is that you were pressured into sex. It’s a stupid move for the boss, but if he goes there with you, it’s job protection…at least until he is fired, but Priscilla you are not the first and only.
You honestly think that can’t backfire and cause you some severe employment issues in the future? 99% of folks will back the boos in any circumstance, and hang you out to dry.
For your own satisfaction, I say Yay! But professionally, I’m not that supportive because it can backfire and cost you your job.
I’m a greeter at Walmart and I’ve hooked up with each one of my shift managers!!!!
I think that’s called being a whore or a slut, which term do you prefer to be called??
Oh PUHLEEZE!! Stop bein prude about sex. Its almost 2020. If it feels good do it!!!!
Slut Walmart over worked under paid
2019? Almost 2020. Is this really a question? Banging with the boss very very rarely goes well. But too many gay men, driven helplessly by their penises, will bag away. And when it “goes south” will call themselves and the victim. If this story is in the US, the boss clearly is sexually harassing the boyfriend. If this workplace is of size, the boyfriend should have gone to HR long ago … after the second “no thank you”. If the workplace is small, the boyfriend should have found new employment elsewhere. TM is challenged now. Was sexual monogamy explicitly agreed… Read more »
Hell no! Stay from the boss, the bosses wife, the bosses son, and the bosses daughter, it’s a recipe for disaster.
Everybody knows, there are guys in the world who would, I’d say you’re just asking for trouble, like maybe you’d better start looking for another job elsewhere. Probably best not to w/anyone else at work either.
It’s been my experience that those getting chummy with the boss were only doing so for personal gain, raises, promotions etc.
How far is someone willing to go…that’s really what this is about. Helping someone or helping yourself. What would you do? All over the world people use their gender or their sexual “identity” for one reason or another. Sexual harassment is one thing, but what if those involved, all adults who are clearly able to judge or reason for themselves, agree? And both are rewarded? Advancement is everything in this day and age. In a workplace, at home, in a relationship, everywhere. Humans are basically smart animals, ones who have a drive to survive and thrive. So, it comes down… Read more »
For the love of tofu, the phrase, as I’ve told you before, is “yea or nay”! There is no such thing as “yay or nay”! This isn’t even hard to verify.
While you’re correct on the grammatical point, in this instance the “yay” could be a clever pun, implying that the person who says “yea” is really excited at the prospect, and considers it a win. But then maybe that’s giving the writers/editors too much credit.
Sounds like a hot fun time with the boss. Those who would object are too uptight, like that old adage about moral indignation being 90% envy. If everyone is an adult, and agrees, then it’s no big deal.
Are you freaking stupid? I’ve traveled for work with mixed (sexes) staying in common motels. The poor choices, the ridiculous drama, the jealousies that manifest themselves in the work environment. Again, are you stupid?
No fucking way. A while back I was suppose to hook-up with a guy I met on here. Right before I left for his place he messaged me to ask if I was up for a 3 way. It was cold out & I was dressed to leave. I told him sure but if I got there & didn’t feel it I would just turn & leave. H said cool & I headed over When I got there they were both there & the 3rd guy was sucking my hook-up’s cock. Flash forward the 3rd left & after chatting he… Read more »
Never, not ever. Don’t get your meat where you get your bread. Nuff said.
I was once given a very simple piece of advice. “Never find your honey where you make your money.
I would definitely have sex with a boss or BF’s boss if it would advance either’s career. I would also do it if I were attracted to them for sure. But I would do it for career advancement even if I was not attracted to the boss if it was considerably better money. I’d do it more than once if necessary.
Not my boss….
None of my bosses ever looked that good to consider it