Let’s be real. There are a lot of straight spaces that purposely make LGBTQ people feel unwelcome, if not outright forcing them out. It’s the reason why LGBTQ people have made spaces where there are safe, whether offline or online. But what do you do when straight people ask to be part of that safe space?
We’re asking because of a recent question sent to Slate’s advice column How To Do It. The letter-sender describes herself as “a cis woman in kind of a classic millennial sex pickle.” Her problem is that she is “politically and personally” repelled by heterosexuality and that she’s thinking of joining a gay dating app to look for bi and bicurious men to casually date. She says she wants to respect the spaces of gay men but also really wants to find a vers guy to date.
Columnist Rich Juzwiak is very upfront in saying that she shouldn’t “try to make something that has been designed to be not about you about you.” He advises her to not bother people if she does decide to go on the app and even warns her that she might have her profile deleted.
Juzwiak also pointed out that these apps have become more trans-inclusive — Adam4Adam is definitely one app that includes trans people — and that maybe this new openness in LGBTQ spaces might bode well for her. Perhaps most importantly, Juzwiak also points out that there are just as many shitty gay and bi gays as there are shitty straight guys. Entering the space of LGBTQ won’t necessarily solve all her problems.
What do you Adam4Adam blog readers think? Would you be accepting of a straight woman looking for a date on a dating app that targets the LGBTQ community? Or would you chase them off of it? Have you had encounters with cisgender women while on apps? Tell us what you think in the comments section below!