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What, for you, makes someone irresistible (or not)? Some gay men like their men lean and smooth, others go wild for beards and brawn. But beyond physical traits, there’s often something more, something deeper, that shapes what we call our “type.”

That’s why a recent online post caught our attention. One gay man laid it all out honestly: “Do you have a type?” He added:

If someone is hot, doesn’t matter if they are an otter, twink, fem, bear, daddy, etc. I would be down. That said, if I were to say I have a preference, it would definitely be something between an otter and a bear and in terms of age between 30 and 50. Some muscle tone is nice. Definitely prefer bearded, hairy, beefy, short hair or shaved head, and a decent size cock and preferably someone right around my height or a slightly shorter or taller. And a nice, juicy ass. What is your type, if any?

This bold and specific question sparked a flood of responses—some surprising, some touching, and many totally relatable.

One man reflected on how falling in love changed everything he thought he knew about attraction: I’m hairy and beefy and used to like the same in partners (after I got over my twink phase). I met my now husband and he is not at all my type.” He explained, “He’s fair, blonde, smooth, etc. There was just something about him I found really attractive. My friend told me not to discount ‘nice.’ Thirteen years later—he’s still my type. And he’s still so nice.” His story is a reminder that chemistry doesn’t always follow a checklist—and sometimes the best relationships are the ones you didn’t see coming.

Others kept it real with their current patterns and desires like this gay man who confessed, “I tend to be more attracted to people younger than I am (50) and who are reasonably fit. I do like a hairy lad but that’s not essential. I guess my ideal age range is 25–35. Faces are what really attract me the most.”

In addition, someone replied, “Dark hair, handsome, muscular, my age or older. Basically, my boyfriend.” Sometimes, attraction is consistent. You know what gets your heart (and hormones) racing—and that’s okay, too.

Then there are those whose type is shaped by cultural or personal background: “My type is Black/Latin American/MiddleEastern/Persian/Arabic/Mediterranean. Bear or twink has no bearing. I live in Germany, and being of mixed background, I feel I gel with men who share some cultural experience. The Muslim aspect has only presented itself in moreserious relationships, but hasn’t been much of a hurdle.” Cultural connection and shared lived experiences can be just as important as physical traits when it comes to forming lasting bonds.

Meanwhile, some responses highlighted patterns they’d noticed—whether humorous or slightly awkward: “I find I end up with men who like trans women.” Attraction doesn’t always make sense on paper—and sometimes, you notice a trend after the fact that leaves you chuckling (or scratching your head).

Of course, there are also gay men who just… don’t have a type: “Nope. Because I’m not attracted to anyone.” Whether it’s disinterest in dating, asexuality, or just a low period in life, this is a valid experience too—one that doesn’t always get acknowledged.

So, is “type” even a real thing—or just a convenient shortcut for what we think we want? Maybe your type is just who treats you well. Or maybe your type has a beard, tattoos, and a sexy accent. Either way, our preferences often reveal as much about our past as they do about our desires.

Having said all that, what about you, Adam4Adam blog readers? Do you have a type—or have you fallen for someone who completely defied your expectations? Do you think preferences help us find the one, or do they limit what we’re open to experiencing? Has your “type” changed over the years? Have you ever made an exception…and been glad you did? Share your thoughts, stories, and maybe even the unexpected crushes who changed everything in the comments section below.

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