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Love: From Adam4Adam To The Altar

When people mention dating apps, it is usually in the context of using it for a hook up. But what we’ve learned here on Adam4Adam is that love can definitely be found here — and we’ve got amazing success stories to prove it.

The most recent one to reach out to us is United States Army Sergeant Jose Angel Corchado Chavez, who was serving in the Army while Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was still in effect. While he acknowledges that gay bars were available for cruising, having only weekends to spend there made it difficult to build chemistry with anyone. That changed when he found out about Adam4Adam.

“Safe spaces to meet men were scarce until I became aware of Adam4Adam. That’s where I met Arthur, my husband,” he recalls. “He messaged me on August 2011 while we were both stationed in Fort Lewis, WA, and we immediately liked each other.”

From there the two of them dated in secret, hiding in the barracks and sneaking around in uniform. During the weekends, they would go to the city so that none of their peers would find out they were together.

After dating and living together for three years, the two of them finally took the next step and tied the knot.

“We got married in the same military base in which we once had to hide our love,” he says. “We have now been together for 8 years, proving that dating apps and/or websites can go beyond the causal hookup. Thanks A4A.”

Jose’s story joins the likes of Adam and Jeremy and Kurt Wirth and his partner, couple who have also found love on Adam4Adam.

So what does one need to do to get the same happy ending as José and Arthur? Here are a three A4A tips:

1. Fill out every part of your profile and be explicit that a relationship is what you’re looking for. This way you get people looking for the same thing noticing you.

2. Be honest in your profile so that the eventual face-to-face meeting isn’t awkward.

3. Pick a photo that shows more than just your dick and ass. It’s hard to convince someone you’re looking for a relationship when your profile looks like you’re searching for anything but a relationship.

Do you and your partner have success stories as the result of a date you got on Adam4Adam? We’d love to hear about them! Send your stories here: [email protected] We’ll feature it on the blog and on our Instagram!


There are 11 comments

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  1. Nathan

    While I certainly admire those who can now marry and live relatively free, I do not envy them. I did not have the freedom to express my love for my fellow soldier, but I did have the privilege of “Why and Why Not.”

    All who knew me knew that I spoke of neither girlfriend nor wife but all knew that I beheld the love of a man. They knew not his name or his rank…only his existence.

    He is, long gone, but not forgotten. I had my treasure but it was not mine to keep. Many, today, who espouse privilege, know not the fortuneness of having it. They know that it is out there but they take it for granted.

    I took nothing for granted as nothing was promised; it was out there as was the danger of being “outed.” I survived, rather well, but not without remembrances.

    When I pay-my-respects, I go alone and am alone. I have my memories but I do not need to espouse the pain of them all.

    I lived freely but carefully; there was pain and pleasure. They all looked at me…but, many did so, with admiration but not with words.

    I wish those men well, but I am equally well, too.

  2. gentlemanspirit

    Thank you for the is article. It challenges those men online who assume we all know what Adam4Adam is for and even a bigger assumption that we are online, be it Adam4adam or other websites, for one thing. Human sexuality is a great and important gift we have as human beings and we are free to use our sexuality however we choose. However, I refuse to be cynical and devalue the dignity and diversity of our humanity by making gross assumptions that attempts to put us all in one category or department. Life is too vast and varied to be so small minded as to not see the miraculous diversity in our humanity just as we are in awe of the diversity in nature because there are varied forms of sexuality represented in nature:).

  3. Lamar

    Very heart-warming. This is the best, that websites like this can do for gay men, its the best of what can happen to gay men, gives new means to “looking for a few good men”, to find something more meaningful, within each other. Isn’t this ‘really’ and ultimately, what gay rights are about, the ultimate and the best, being free enough, to actually, love, freely, openly, unapologetically!

  4. anonimatovato

    I’m glad they found love and yes, I totally agree with the way profiles should be displayed if looking for ltr. I’ve seen too many profiles looking for love but with d pics lol! I’m not against people hooking up, or hooking up at first and maybe something serious down the road, but those type of profiles gives people the wrong ideas. I like the chat feature on a4a compared to other dating sites.

  5. Ocean57

    It is true and I happy for the couple’s who find love here.True, you can be explicit of wanting another man but people need to remember you all carry baggage and some don’t want that or even care to know.. Love is good and Love is cherished and Love is for ALL..

  6. Steven

    Do you know what is even better than a hunk in uniform?
    Getting him out of his uniform… :)~
    But seriously, best wishes to all who found love.


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