Dating: What Obvious Hints that Someone was into You Did You Miss?

(Photo Credits: Andrii Nekrasov from Shutterstock)

Hey Adam4Adam readers! Have you ever missed obvious hints or signs that someone was into you? It’s a common experience many of us have faced at some point. Whether it’s a subtle glance, a lingering touch, or an outright flirtation that flew under the radar, missing these signs can leave you wondering what might have been.

For instance, this guy remembers a time in college when “a guy on my floor (seemingly straight soccer player, who I also had a crush on) kept complaining about how sore he was on AIM. I offered to give him a massage after he kept saying it. He came over and I rubbed him down with shorts on, then he took off the shorts and kept groaning when I rubbed his glutes.” He added, “I kept asking if it was ok and he kept saying yes and lifting his boxer briefs up further and further, then just lowered them completely. After he laid around half nude on my bed talking for an hour. I made no move out of fear of a homophobic reaction and he came out a few years later.”

The same guy shared another missed opportunity story. He said, “My RA freshman year always spent all night on AIM with me, waited to go to dinner with me every night, and eventually we would take long rides around the city. He was from the area and liked showing me places from his youth (it was kind of romantic looking back). One night he got really mad and sulky when I flirted with a guy. He came out after college and told me he had a major crush on me back then. Whoops! We would’ve been a cute couple too!”

It’s kind of annoying really when by the time we realize, he’d already moved on, and we’d be left kicking ourselves for not picking up on the cues sooner.

“This is how dense I am,” one guy shared. “I had a really cute guy cut my hair. Afterward, I get a text, saying it was him and asking if my haircut was satisfactory. My dumb ass thought it was automated. Because people TOTALLY do that, right?” He added, “It wasn’t until we matched on an app that we started dating. And we still are.”

So, why do we often miss these hints? Sometimes, we’re just not paying close enough attention, too wrapped up in our own lives or insecurities to notice the signs. Other times, we might misinterpret someone’s actions, thinking they’re just being nice or polite. There’s also the fear of reading too much into things and making a fool of ourselves, which can make us hesitate to acknowledge potential interest.

Recognizing and acting on these hints can be tricky, but it’s worth trying to be more aware. Pay attention to the little things: prolonged eye contact, finding excuses to touch you, or going out of their way to spend time with you. If you suspect someone is into you, don’t be afraid to ask or test the waters gently.

Having said all that, we’d love to hear your stories. Have you ever missed obvious hints that someone was into you? How did you find out later, and what was the outcome? Share your experiences and let’s learn from each other’s romantic mishaps and triumphs.