(Photo Credits: Andrii Nekrasov from Shutterstock)
Hey Adam4Adam readers! Have you ever missed obvious hints or signs that someone was into you? It’s a common experience many of us have faced at some point. Whether it’s a subtle glance, a lingering touch, or an outright flirtation that flew under the radar, missing these signs can leave you wondering what might have been.
For instance, this guy remembers a time in college when “a guy on my floor (seemingly straight soccer player, who I also had a crush on) kept complaining about how sore he was on AIM. I offered to give him a massage after he kept saying it. He came over and I rubbed him down with shorts on, then he took off the shorts and kept groaning when I rubbed his glutes.” He added, “I kept asking if it was ok and he kept saying yes and lifting his boxer briefs up further and further, then just lowered them completely. After he laid around half nude on my bed talking for an hour. I made no move out of fear of a homophobic reaction and he came out a few years later.”
The same guy shared another missed opportunity story. He said, “My RA freshman year always spent all night on AIM with me, waited to go to dinner with me every night, and eventually we would take long rides around the city. He was from the area and liked showing me places from his youth (it was kind of romantic looking back). One night he got really mad and sulky when I flirted with a guy. He came out after college and told me he had a major crush on me back then. Whoops! We would’ve been a cute couple too!”
It’s kind of annoying really when by the time we realize, he’d already moved on, and we’d be left kicking ourselves for not picking up on the cues sooner.
“This is how dense I am,” one guy shared. “I had a really cute guy cut my hair. Afterward, I get a text, saying it was him and asking if my haircut was satisfactory. My dumb ass thought it was automated. Because people TOTALLY do that, right?” He added, “It wasn’t until we matched on an app that we started dating. And we still are.”
So, why do we often miss these hints? Sometimes, we’re just not paying close enough attention, too wrapped up in our own lives or insecurities to notice the signs. Other times, we might misinterpret someone’s actions, thinking they’re just being nice or polite. There’s also the fear of reading too much into things and making a fool of ourselves, which can make us hesitate to acknowledge potential interest.
Recognizing and acting on these hints can be tricky, but it’s worth trying to be more aware. Pay attention to the little things: prolonged eye contact, finding excuses to touch you, or going out of their way to spend time with you. If you suspect someone is into you, don’t be afraid to ask or test the waters gently.
Having said all that, we’d love to hear your stories. Have you ever missed obvious hints that someone was into you? How did you find out later, and what was the outcome? Share your experiences and let’s learn from each other’s romantic mishaps and triumphs.
ALOT! I WAS SILLY….
ONE …ALWAYS WANTING TO BE WITH ME…..
ONE DROVE FROM THE BURBS AND GOT INTO MY DOORMAN BUILDING AND SLEPT OUTSIDE MY DOOR…..
ANOTHER ONE ALWAYS WANTED TO “GET ME OFF” SO HE COULD HAVE “SOME OF ME” IN HIM AND I WOULD NOT WANT TO BE WITH ANYONE ELSE THAT DAY.
DIDN;T WORK THOUGH….
HE WANTED TO KNOW MY WAIST SIZE
LOL
I was oblivious to all kinds of guys trying partially out of ignorance and just not thinking a man would be interested in me. Had the hot guy at the straight club I frequented constantly commenting on how well I danced. Trying to talk with me about how much he liked how I moved. Requesting my favorite songs so I’d get out on the dance floor. Buying me drinks. Resting his arm on my shoulder while we were in line. Inviting me over when it closed but I was always so sweaty and “gross” by then and always kindly refused.… Read more »
Good question. But the flip side is when he doesn’t seem to get that you are into him. Or no one shows interest at all.
During my residency there was one intern who made a point mentioning his shoe size. Ignored his allusion.
If you don’t know a guy is interested in you then you wouldn’t be looking for signals. And if you did know you would see the signs, but choose to ignore them.
They guys in this article … what’s wrong with them?
How’d they know a guy was into them? Why didn’t they just pursue him? Did they not speak the same language?
As a young man I was always clueless when someone was attracted to me. In 1985 I was serving in Japan as a Navy medic for the Marine Corps. A cute young redheaded twink joined our unit and was assigned to my old 4 man room where one of the guys was an absolute jerk. Due to my rank I had a two man room that only I was in so I took pity on him and let him move into my room. I’ve always had a thing for ginger men and he put out a strong gay vibe. I… Read more »
This is for all college guys. If you find yourself in your dorm rubbing down a guys glutes….he’s into you.
As a free-spirited Aquarian, I can be very aloof about these kinds of things. My friends would frequently tell me, “Lamar guys are checking you out and you don’t even notice” I must have been checking out others, who didn’t realize me checking them out either, lmao, but isn’t that how it goes in life, sometimes.
a guy 1/2 my age and 6’7″ (I’m only 6′) is texting me “hello” and “good morning” every so often and includes a pic or two from his Only Fans (or similiar) account. very provocative yet artistic shots. it has been years (decades?) since I have dated. he was supposed to move out of town for school, but just told me he’s staying local. he invites me for the occasional hook-up which I try to make, but the couple events I invited him as my +1, he’s already had plans. he likes daddies, and I like smooth btms. is he… Read more »
This will be of greater interest to my fellow BiMM’ers: Mid-80s, my wife and I had recently gotten engaged, at which time I decided I was done with guys for good and would just conform to married life, maybe jerking off to my gay memories when I’d have my chances. I’m walking down a NYC street and pass by this absolute A-1 gorgeous guy. We pass by one another then about 10 strides down, I turn back to get another glimpse at what I’d wish I could have. Lone behold, he does the same thing – looking back right at… Read more »
I’ve probably missed many since what was checking me out isn’t who I was checking out. I’m friendly to all, but if you’re not my type…..
I was at a gay bar once in the men’s room washing my hands when someone else walked in. I was bent over the sink a little, and he brushed my butt with what I assumed was just some random part of his body. I didn’t think about it until after I left but it was probably his hand on my butt. I should have looked at him while he was using the urinal to see if he was interested, but by the time I realized what was going on, it was way too late.
Have I ever! Especially when I was in my 20s. In my 30s, I was becoming a little more wiser, but was still missing cues. There were guys who I liked, and I kind of knew they liked me, but nothing never materialized. They are waiting for me to respond like an adult, and I’m in fantasyland thinking they supposed to act like the guys in the movies and on tv when they are chasing the girl of their dreams. I get a little annoyed and disappointed with myself when I think about it. Now, I can pretty much pick… Read more »