(Photo Courtesy of @misterdavidhand)
Adam4Adam is an amazing place where we can safely create connections—it is a great place to look for friendships, and to search for hookups. And sometimes, these hookups end up being a prelude to serious relationships, ones that often lead to amazing love stories.
Such is the experience of our Adam4Adam users David and Anthony who found each other here on A4A many years ago.
At the time of their meeting, David had been an Adam4Adam user for 5 years already while Anthony’s been a member for about 2 years. David said that back then he was a single dad, living with his grade-school-aged son and coming to terms at a relatively late age with his sexuality. He said, “I always knew I wasn’t straight, but was keeping my interactions with men on the side and ‘strictly for fun.'” Anthony, on the other hand, “considered himself a nomad back then, finding his way in the world while creating a family that embraced him for the man that he is, and unencumbered by dogmatic judgment.”
As to how they “met” on A4A, David shares through an email interview with us: “He found my “Icewater” profile and was taken by my eyes and shock of frosty bleach-blond hair. He remembers laughing about a statement in my profile, ‘Real men are versatile,’ a phrase he still teases me about all these years later.” For his part, David admitted that he was ‘a goner’ once he saw Anthony’s face in his “Ant23” profile. David added that Anthony “was and is still so beautiful. Back then his hair was just box braids that reached his ears (today, his locks practically reach his ass!). His profile showed few words, but certainly enough to grab my attention.”
Meeting someone from social media and dating apps cause people to be a bit apprehensive at first and the couple wasn’t any different. David admitted, “Any time you meet someone from social media, your hope is that you weren’t catfished. We were both relieved to find we found each other even better looking than our profile pics. And his mellow demeanor balanced my caffeine-fueled frantic manner. Score!”
David further admitted that their first few meetings were all about hooking up, as he wasn’t quite ready for romantic relationships with men yet at the time. In fact, he said that their first few conversations were “short and sweet – standard hookup fare – and teed-up our meeting that evening.” As to how their first meeting went, David revealed, “We both recall sitting on the front porch of my house, chatting and getting to know each other a bit. I admired his long limbs and easy smile. We kept it brief because the chemistry was wild and we couldn’t wait to go upstairs. We certainly didn’t disappoint each other.”
But theirs is a slow burn romance and although their paths crossed several times for hookups (each one better than the one before, David says), Anthony’s “pursuit of freedom took him out of the area for a spell,” while David was “fully transitioning away from women.” And then at some point, David began dating men seriously while Anthony engaged in a serious relationship out-of-state.
Regardless, David revealed that they would both go crazy whenever they spotted each other on Adam4Adam, and never missed a chance to meet. According to David, it wasn’t until Anthony returned to Connecticut when he found a slip of paper he had given him with his number on it that their relationship reached a turning point, “That hotline blinged,” David said.
David admitted he was no Prince Charming; he insisted that he was, instead, the frog. But if there’s anything their story tells us, it’s that a frog can transform into a Prince when he’s with the right person. David confesses, “To say I’d kissed a lot of frogs would be untrue. If anything, I was the frog – or worse. I dated some brilliant and talented men. But like the women before them, I never revealed my true nature to any of them: It’s not that I’m afraid of monogamy, I’m just not interested in it (in its traditional sense). It’s contrary to the instincts of our species.”
But everything changed between them on that cold March night in 2007. David shares: “In the shadow of an epic breakup, I logged on (to Adam4Adam) and saw the green light next to the pic of Ant23. My heart skipped a beat and I invited him over. I made a fire and we curled up together on the couch. It was the first time we met without hooking up. Instead, we talked all night about where we’d been. His arms were around me and the fire light reflected on his impossibly soft skin. His voice was velvet in my ear, as he told me about his travels, his feelings, his hopes. I opened up to him about my bumpy start with men, my insistence on a harmonious home life for my son and me, and about my cheating.”
Because of that conversation, David said that he discovered two things: “that I was in the company of someone who shared MY idea of fidelity, and that throughout my years of trial and error with a handful of women and men, there was one constant. And his name was Anthony.”
And that, David said, was when he knew Anthony was the one for him. He said, “We call that night ‘the night he never went home.’ But it would be more accurate to call it ‘the night we made a home.'”
That was 13 years ago. He and Anthony (the man who never wanted kids) had, since then, raised together a young man who will be the first man in the family to graduate college, this spring.
And exactly how did all these years go for them?
David looked back and shared how Anthony had been there for him through thick and thin: “Ant was the one bravely holding me in the front row of an awfully conservative southern church, as I wept during my father’s funeral. He is the one who can stretch a dollar a country mile, when times are tough. His is the face I am looking at when the cameras at the end of the runway are firing away. He is my ride-or-die and I am his.”
Today, David and Anthony are living their happily ever after. Last March 1, they celebrated their 13th anniversary with a wonderful dinner, and then they “spent the rest of the night freezing, playing extras hooking up in a public park in a short film! So romantic lol,” David quips.
And yes, Adam4Adam is the place where the couple met but for David and Anthony, A4A’s role in their lives didn’t just stop there. “Adam4Adam continued to be our go-to when the occasion called for a third. Or fourth. Or fifth,” David said in jest before underscoring the importance of A4A’s role in the LGBTQ+ community. He added that for them, Adam4Adam does so much more apart from connecting and bringing the LGBTQ+ community together. He explained, “Seriously, though, from connecting people for short-term to LTR, creating awareness about our shared political and health issues, and to being a marketplace for merch and professional services, Adam4Adam is an important, long-term partner of the LGBTQ+ community.”
When asked about what advice they could give to people looking for their significant other here on Adam4Adam, David said and we quote:
Regardless of what you’re looking for on Adam4Adam, be honest. Be honest about who you are and what you want. Misrepresenting yourself in any way is not only unhealthy, but unsustainable.
Remember that the person you are today will change. Relationships are about changing together, and in compatible ways.
These days, a lot of people will attempt to shame you if you’re just looking for sex. They will say that you are worth more than that. Don’t play your game by someone else’s rules. If your soul aches for that one true love, hold out for that person without compromise. But if your freak flag is hoisted high, go for it. Accept the risks that come with it, however, and approach them responsibly and in accordance with your mutual consent and tolerance (both physically and emotionally). You never know where it may lead you.
Most importantly, remember that pics on Instagram are idealized moments, 1/200ths of a second long. Don’t compare your life to someone else’s snapshot. A relationship is a long-term rollercoaster ride. It takes hard work, an open heart, and an acceptance of who that other person (or persons), is/are. You have to love each other as much when you are lounging together on the sand with Caribbean waters kissing your toes as you do in the dead of winter, when you’re applying for unemployment and they’re counting coins to try to keep the lights on.
We are living in a wonderful time, where gender and sexuality walls have been knocked down, and fluidity and polyamory are rightfully embraced. Love is love. Go get yours.
About David and Anthony
David, 54, is an airport operations manager but his real passion lies in modeling. He was discovered by a model scout three years ago and is now a rising star in the world of fashion modeling, making continuing appearances at NYFW, LAFW, and Milan Fashion week. He has been published in GQ, Vogue, Forbes, and many other titles. (You’ve got to go pay a visit to his Instagram account @misterdavidhand, you’ll thank us later, lol!)
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Colorful Beasts 🎞 (Preview Teaser Part II ) Special Editorial by Elys Berroteran @elysmcm Complete Credits : Models : @misterdavidhand at @emg_models @thecaptainb52 @mirlinnd.morina at @stonemgmt @tanner_pnt_ow at @stonemgmt @giancarlocavallero @florimpllanna at @social_newyork Make up artist @jorgeking @byjorgeking Wearing @danielsleather . . . #elysberroteran #malemodels #fitnessmodel #nyfw
Anthony, on the other hand, is a 36-year-old shipping and logistics manager for a manufacturing firm. He loves to feed those in his family and inner circle, from his epic annual 48-hour Thanksgiving cook-a-thon to cakes and pies that have them lining up at the family’s door.
Thank you so much David and Anthony for sharing your wonderful love story with us! Do any of you readers have an Adam4Adam love story you’d like to share? We’d love to hear it! Tell us about it in the comments section below or email us at [email protected] and we’ll feature you here on the A4A blog.
This is just another reason why I’m open to just hooking up or group action when I’m up for it, you never know who you’re going to meet.
I agree! I’m usually not into hookup but you never know….
Thanks for sharing your love story David and Anthony! It gives me hope that one day I may find my forever after mate.
It’s awesome that these guys have established and maintained a long term relationship. LTRs are desired by a small percentage of gay guys and impossible to make work for most. These guys have also defined their LTR as one that is not monogamous. That definition infuriates monogamy purists who are all too often quick to insist (spew hate) that no LTR is viable or true or real if it does not include monogamy. These two guys have included an evolving definition where they play with other guys from time to time. Overall, an updated and more realistic take on how… Read more »
Nice story but we are yet to hear from Anthony!
So David was 41 and Anthony was 23 when they met…hmm.. good for them.. At 23 i sure wasn’t looking at anyone in their 40’s and at 41 checking a 23 year old might be kind of salacious but hey 40 is the new 30 😉 Happy they found each other and made it work