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Do gay and bisexual men love hooking up? If your answer to this question is yes, what would you say are the lessons and insights you learned from hooking up?
Hooking up, a common aspect of modern dating culture, can teach individuals valuable lessons about themselves, relationships, and intimacy. Do you agree with this statement, guys?
One lesson often learned is the importance of communication. Effective communication before, during, and after a hookup can help establish boundaries, ensure consent, and enhance mutual satisfaction. Individuals may discover the significance of expressing their desires, preferences, and concerns openly and honestly, fostering a deeper understanding between partners.
Furthermore, hooking up can provide insights into personal boundaries and self-respect. Learning to prioritize one’s own well-being and comfort during intimate encounters is essential for healthy relationships. Recognizing when to assert boundaries and when to respect those of others is a valuable skill that individuals may develop through hookup experiences.
Moreover, hooking up can offer lessons in resilience and self-confidence. Facing rejection or navigating unfamiliar situations can be challenging, but these experiences can also foster resilience and self-assurance. Individuals may learn to embrace their sexuality without shame or judgment, cultivating a positive sense of self-worth.
Additionally, hooking up can teach individuals about the diversity of human desires and preferences. Exploring different types of connections and encounters can broaden one’s understanding of intimacy and relationships, promoting empathy and acceptance towards others’ experiences and identities.
Having said all that, what lessons did some gay men learn from hooking up?
One gay man, who had slept with 120 guys in two years, shared:
“If I could change my actions of the last two years, I’d focus on just the guys I’m genuinely into instead of the quick hookups. Sex is definitely better when you have a good emotional connection. Right now, I’m trying to get myself into a position where I can date properly and commit to someone for at least a year or two. I’m tired of randomers, I think. It’s fun, it can make you happy, but it won’t make me content.”
Meanwhile, another gay man said, “It can easily become an addiction, a need to please.” He explained, “Submitting yourself to the enjoyment of others is fun to start, but emotionally draining due to a sense of failure when you can’t get what you need and crave anymore.”
Further, another respondent observed, “I’m over the 1k mark and there are a few things I noticed it’s better to be open and sincere about my expectations so my partners know where they stand.” He elaborated, and we quote, “With maybe a few exceptions, open relationships don’t last forever. Good hygiene is crucial for both partners. Lastly, I was born a bottom.”
Lastly, a gay man commented, “From my experience, not giving some great guys a chance at something more than just a one nighter. There were a few that I could’ve connected with, but I was just interested in getting laid. So much regret.” He also added, “Seeking sex got boring for a while. It’s much more fulfilling to experience a connection with someone and see where it goes.”
What about you, guys? Do you have stories, insights, and lessons learned from hooking up that you wish to share with us? Comment below!
I think the biggest lesson I’ve learned is that anonymous sex can be addictive and habit-forming. After being single for nearly a decade and hooking up anonymously for most of that time, I’m now dating someone. While I’m very attracted to him physically, I find getting aroused difficult because the element of anonymity is missing. Our relationship (about three years old now) is basically sexless, though filled with a lot of physical affection and care for one another. I wish I knew what to do to overcome the anonymity as an obstacle, but something tells me it would take months… Read more »
Healing treatments would hopefully fix the problem. You just need to re-orient your thinking of what is sexy. Familiarity can be very sexy. The only real excitement with a stranger is that you are getting them naked, unless you are hooked on the danger. Then you need spiritual counseling. Focus on your heart, and your cock should follow, they are directly connected, and not through the brain. Try massaging each other. Here, you don’t have to perform, you get the luxury of learning your partner, of rehearsing and building. Or maybe you need to think of it as incest to… Read more »
“Danger”? There’s nothing dangerous about any of the hooking up I’ve ever done. And any counseling that I ever get would be thoroughly secular in nature. I have no reason to think I have a “spirit” or that anything “spiritual” has ever existed.
I didn’t say I was incapable of love. I said I was incapable of sexual arousal with one particular person. Love isn’t the problem.
And … “think of it as incest.” That’s definitely the advice worthy of someone who asks me to seek “spiritual counseling.” HUGE fucking yikes on bikes.
Your response was starting to resonate, until the incest suggestion.
I get the same feeling, re: “Sex as sport perhaps can be damaging. Many men seem incapable of love after too much of it.” I’ve known the love of a man before and I like it. Alot. I still have it, sort of, but it’s not the same without the sex that used to go with it. Hell, we can’t even live in the same house without ending up quarreling so we live apart. But we still care very much about each other. So, since he has no interest in sex at all these days, the hook up scene is… Read more »
Just plow him doggy style, while watching porn in front of you, that turns you on. Or visa vera if you’re on the bottom. I still fuck my husband 2-3 times a week after 30 years !!! I don’t even bother going to the bath house for fucks anymore, because getting laid at home is so much easier.
Is this what you think constitutes good advice? If so, bless your heart.
“I still fuck my husband 2-3 times a week after 30 years”. And every fuck is fucking fantastic…. Oh and I’ve fucked 7 or 8 thousand other men. Not every one of them were fantastic, but enough were I kept at it.
Most boring porn I’ve ever read. I hope you don’t do this for a living.
LOL! I’m not the one with the “problem”…. you are. I don’t have any problems at all. Only joy and satisfaction.
I’m not saying you have a problem. Unless you consider not knowing what good advice is, in which case you most demonstrably do have one.
You are telling my story. I believe many of us can relate to what you are going through. Unfortunately, my relationship has ended at the 3 year mark unexpectedly due to an argument and our egos and stupidity got in the way. Getting back on track, anonymous and NSA sex can be very addictive and become a regular part of our lives. It does, me. After being single for what seems like a lifetime, I met my ex, but my sex drive went down hill because I was too much in my head and could not get an erection. During… Read more »
You’re rather one dimensional. I fuck my husband 2-3 times a week, which are great orgasmic fucks and fuck lots of 20 somethings that come after me too. Just plowed the most beautiful young Khmer man in Cambodia. I have it my way, I do everything!
Any coincidence that Cambodia is a gigantic hub of sex trafficking? Because everything you type makes you sound like a predator. Pedophile much?
Thank you so much for sharing this. A lot of it really resonates. I’m a lot like you (insofar as pursuing sex with no connection), yet I still have a desire to have a partner I can share the rest of my life with. I’m glad that you’ve realized what you’ve finally wanted. That must make things infinitely easier. I know I want both and that probably makes me sound like “I want my cake and to eat it too,” but that’s the problem I’m trying to solve. Thanks again for taking the time to share!
Men are dogs. In a bad way. They are happy to use you and walk away. The worst ones are the married ones, who have nothing to give, or if they give you affection, it is false.
Agreed. Use you to fill a gap in their married lives.
To you and the cleric, wake up! Married men are rarely, if ever, looking for love or affection. They’re looking for sex. The type they cannot get at home from the wife. For you to think otherwise is absurd. Are you hoping or thinking you’re going to win them over? Ain’t gonna happen. At the end of the day, they’re going home to the wife and kids. And please, you can only be used, if you allow yourself to be used. Some married guys are hotter in bed than any of your boyfriends. Enjoy the sex, like they do and… Read more »
Think you missed my point. Hookups are heartaches waiting to happen and there was absolutely no intent what so ever to consider such hookups in a positive light.
I’m married,,when I first started meeting guys on the low,, I would wam bam thank you sir,,,but after meeting the right guy and excepting the fact that enjoyed being with men as well as women,, I’ve been in a long term relationship with a guy on the side, I prefer to be with someone I’m I’ve gotten to know and comfortable with,,, I’m married and he knows I’m married,,he live a couple hours away,, I drive two hours to be with him for a few hours at a time,, he’s happy with me as a bottom and I’m happy with… Read more »
THEY ARE DANGEROUS AS WELL! THEY ARE MENTALLY UNSTABLE…….AND WILL SNAP AT A MOMENT. AND….WILL BE THE FIRST TO CALL US SLURS THE MOMENT THEY LEAVE YOUR HOUSE…….WITH A FRESH LOAD OF CUM IN THEIR ASSES…..GET AROUND THEIR WIVES AND FRIENDS WE ARE EVERY F– IN THE BOOK!!! I HAVE SEEN IT…..
As one of “the married ones” you may be surprised at my response: I’m not at all offended by what you (or the respondents here) say because it’s true. But at least in my case, you’re partially wrong: I make clear up-front what I’m after: sex…safe and fulfilling sex. I’m not seeking love even though I kiss affectionately. But I do try to keep in touch to get together on an ongoing basis. Throughout it all though, I’ll always remind my partners there’s only one person I’ll ever love.
And that’s all well and good, however, does the “little woman” know; is she “ok with it?”
If not, these are the bi-guys I avoid, “do not be married, please!” I will not be a part of his cheating on her.
Otherwise, yes, I agree, this is “just physical,” be aware and agreed, on what you’re doing, simple and up-front.
She has no clue, nor does anyone else. And I know it’s wrong, but I make sure I can’t infect her in any way. Is that a good thing? Of course not, but it’s a physical need and I go about it in a way that won’t hurt her or anyone.
It’s how my first niece came about, is all I’m saying, no judgement, personally.
I know what that does to a woman’s mind, my sis’ and I have spoken at great length about the betrayal of her experience.
If both parties are aware, cool, is what I’m saying.
I know a couple of guys whose “little woman” (derogatory much?) know abut his likes. It’s part of the partner they love and they don’t automatically want a divorce.
My wife loves me dearly, but still, if she were to find out what I do, my life as I know it would be done, kaput.
I agree my wife love me probably more than life itself,, and I love her more,,, but if she even thought I was out here getting fucked it would be over,,well to be honest I don’t know what will happen,,but I don’t want to find out,,,but it’s always one guy always gotta ask ,,if you being with men why have a wife/women,, it’s because some of us still love women and pussy,,,and I feel like as long as I protect here who’s fuckin business is it anyway
“Little woman” is a quote, not a slur, ok, don’t get fuckin’ twisted, aight?
I know strong, successful, women who would cut your balls off and hand them back to you mashed if they heard you refer to any woman by that term. It’s a slur (quote or not). There’s nothing complimentary or positive about it.
It is only a slur because the “strong successful women” have decided it is, with their typical mindless “my way or the highway” attitudes. The fact of the matter is that there are a lot of descriptive terms which fit and define. Your “strong success woman” with probable penis envy and a fixation on round objects could more succinctly be described as a “bitch”.
Lmao, no you don’t, ’cause they wouldn’t, that’s your wishful; what goes for “thinking.”
Go have seat, man.
Might be wise to include those facts you shared here in your profile. Save heartache for you and the potential hook-up.
On an “as needed basis” I do, when in discussion, thanks
I for one am just looking for sex, I have been single for a long time and get embareed easily, Its like not supposed to sleep with a man, but it is fun and wish I could remove the embarresment, I do like to get sucked and have only sucked 3 cocks and not to completion, So what do I do.
To pHIL: Not sure you’ll be able to relate to where I’ve come from, which is being married to my wife for over 3 decades and being 110% hidden in the closet since Day 1 while getting my fill of very satisfying gay sex discreetly since age 18. But here are some thoughts: 1.) Keep hiding your secret and seek out sex hookups on this or other sites. Just be SAFE and discreet about it always. Never let your guard down. It’s never been easy, but it’s worked for me at least. 2.) If you think you’re capable of falling… Read more »
I feel the same way,, it’s seems like we have the same story,, I have a wife,kids family,, I just try to play safely and very discreet,,, I’ve been bottoming for some yrs now,,, I have a long term relationship with anutha man but I’m no way in love with him,,now I’m very comfortable with him,, I’m not one to suck a stranger dick raw but I sucks his dick raw ,, comfortable but not in love,, and I use to be embarrassed kinda like PHil about being with men,, but I knew I enjoyed it,, and I realized I… Read more »
Well, not entirely alike in that I could never fall in love with a guy or form any sort of personal relationship. For me it’s solely about the sex. The love and relationship are only with my wife.
It is a sexual relationship,,,I much rather have a continuous sexual relationship with a guy that knows my situation and I am comfortable with than to get fucked by random guys is the relationship I’m talking about,,, I not into getting fucked and sucking random guys dick,,, I not saying I won’t even get to that point,, but I’m not there yet,, I enjoy getting fucked and sucking dick as often as I can,, I enjoy it more with someone I know is all I’m saying
Ahh – I misread. OK, then I’m with you 100%.
Be spontaneous. Be uninhibited–try things…it isn’t the end of the world; sex is fun (and funny—laugh at the anomalies.) Life is short, so live it and don’t let embarrassment stop you. With experience you’ll banish embarrassments.
Us married guys can’t really be spontaneous or especially uninhibited. Speaking at least for myself and presumably many others like me out there, I can’t let me guard down ever. I’ve boxed myself into a corner where one slight slip-up and my whole life would come crashing down. Could be similar with pHIL.
I don’t let my guard down either,, I try to be careful,, I try not to play in my hometown,,, I travel two hours to play,, I feel more comfortable and I can relax more and enjoy the dick,, I don’t worry about anyone anyone seeing me or worry if someone I know going to walk in on me,,safe in his house and in his bed,,play for a few hours then drive back home to my family
I always think of myself as being totally over-the-top paranoid about this, but I actually have had guys over to my place, knowing without a doubt that my wife is many many miles away at the time and wouldn’t be home till much later. I lay an old sheet down on the carpeted floor downstairs and we go at it. As soon as they leave, I bolt over to the washer-dryer, wash-then-dry the sheet and towels and put everything back exactly as normal. Not a trace…
The men who are dogs and are happy to use you and walk away; can you share any phone numbers or emails?
Tough, Ben, that you don’t have a unique member name!
I’ve met just as many Gay men who have nothing to give; it’s all about them taking what they want for sex and then it’s Game Over. Some guys seek guys who do that. Not this one.
That’s because no one with at least one single brain cell would waste their time hooking up with yo nastiness!
The men you attract may be dogs, But I have had the most amazing long term lovers. Men with brains who started multi million dollar corporations and fucked like gods. Men with PhD’s from the Imperial Collage of London. Men who told me to buy stock in a strange little company I never heard of… Nvidia in 2002 (I held and never will run out of money before I die). Men who fly me all over the planet first class and in suites and private pool villas. Sorry to hear about your dogs….
sad but true. this happened to my friend. He used him for money.
One thing I have learned—and which never ceases to amaze me—is how much affection can pass between two virtual strangers. Sure it’s transient, and of course it’s sort of ‘ersatz’—but it is still affection, and can often be very satisfying. . One thing we never seem to talk about is the idea of “skin hunger”—the need to have physical contact with another human being. I personally think that this is what many of us men are looking for when we hook-up, often without realizing it. And I think one of the reasons we often treat each other so badly afterwards… Read more »
Learned that men are not to be trusted.
What I really try to do is be up front and honest.Before we ever get to the point of having sex. If we have met on line and feel attraction or have met some other way.I like to explain who I am and what My enjoyments are in making love with a nice guy. That’s kind of the key word nice guy. His looks,body and sexy attitude are exciting. Being a nice Guy, open and honest. We will enjoy each other may be more than ONCE!!
BE PATIENT, especially when dealing with guys that stand you up and are a no show; keep trying and the perfect hookup will cum along, honey!
true! as the saying goes, you have to kiss many frogs before you find your prince.
What I’ve learned is I LUV getting fucked bareback! Most recent hookup is a black guy with 7.5 thick inches. It feels soooo good when he gets close to cumming and really POUNDS me HARD!!
Something tells me you’ve missed the point of this post.
No, I think he gets the point, better than you do….I’ve leaned though hook ups, fucking is one of the best pleasures you can have in life. I like to talk about how great fucking is, with which ever hot boy I’m plowing in my sling. They all agree…..
I have some news for you: “fucking is one of the best pleasures you can have in life” is not what most people call a “lesson”. But please, queen, continue to go off.
I learned to be patient and not taking hooking up too seriously. Just enjoy and be aware that things don’t always go as expected.
Biggest lesson to be learned, never, ever expect to hear from your hook-up again. Don’t give yourself false hopes. Too many hook-ups are simply looking for another notch on their headboard and you were just the most recent. Enjoy the sex and if it’s good and you hear from them again, ride the wave as long as it lasts, knowing, eventually it will die down. If you have a lower set of expectations, the eventual let down is much easier to handle. I really believe that too many guys simply want to have something to whine about. That’s why they… Read more »
You couldn’t had said this any better!!! Perfect response.
Thank you!
So you think “lasting relationships” don’t include “something(s) to whine about? Personally, I think relationships that are based in romance and long term partnership have more potential for difficulty and challenges! Unlike hookups, which are often a one time interaction, and even when they’re not, are not fraught with the heightened emotions and expectations that accompany relationships where your heart if fully involved and you are vulnerable because if it! Someone I had a great hookup with blocking me or standing me up when we’ve planned to meet again may indeed hurt my feelings but it doesn’t compare to someone… Read more »
A life of quiet desperation… that’s one way to play it.
sadly many out there isn’t looking for a long-term.
It’s not permanent!
Well I seem to only attract married guys that want to play it would be nice if I could find single guys that might be interested in dating or something like that it would be nice to just have one person to play with and enjoy each others company for once that having someone just running out the door after having sex with them because there wife might be getting home soon
SURE JAN….
ANOTHER MAN WHO “ONLY ATTRACTS %100 STR8 MEN WHO SOMEHOW JUST CANNOT RESIST THE ERE SIGHT OF >>>YOU!!! OVER SOME BEAUTIFUL WOMAN……LOLOLOL
No “100% Straight” man is going to have sex with a Gay or Bi guy. Some look Straight, act Straight and everyone thinks they are Straight. But they’re Gay or Bi and choose only to let guys they want to have sex with know.
Contrary to what hardcore Gays preach, not all Gay or Bi guys appear to look the part. And no one is required to “Come Out!”.
I use to use that excuse myself,,or I gotta pick my wife up from work,or anything to get me out the door,,,, I’m married and at first when I started getting fucked I would make up excuses to leave after I got fucked and the guy made me cum, I would feel embarrassed and ashamed of myself for sucking and letting anutha man fuck me,, when get there I’d suck a dick like it was a blow pop and ride a dick like it was bicycle, but after I came, shit I was out the door before I could get… Read more »
I met a married guy on here he is married to another guy we meet every chance we can an have Hot an passionate sex after awhile he fucks the hell out of me love it
The best way to get what you want with a minimum of wasted time is to…WRITE A CLEAR, SPECIFIC AND DETAILED PROFILE! If there is certain information you don’t want to include for everyone to see that’s fine but you should mention it, sooner than later, when you are chatting with someone about hooking up! Things like HIV status, drug usage, etc might fall under this category but your age, height, eye color, etc should not! The purpose of having a profile is so someone doesn’t have to ask you for every detail! Profiles with no information tells me a… Read more »
porn is less involving
A4A Blogger
As pot continues get legalized in more places, you better make sure to tell him to shower before comes over. PDS is on the rise, that is guys who smokes and jack and then shove their reefer flavored dick into your mouth. Party’s over. See ya.
What is PDS?
I love just hooking up. I find it exciting and no commitments. I like knowing what we will be doing sexually before we meet. just my personal prefrence
THAT MEN LOVE HOOKING UP!…..LOLOLOLOL…
I’ve been on a4a for nearly 20 years. Over that time, I’ve developed a knack for sniffing out the good ones vs. the bad. The safe players vs. the dangerous bare-backers. The honest ones vs. the liars. The friendly ones vs. the a’holes, and so forth. The results have been overwhelmingly good for me. If I had to pick out one top Lesson du Jour, it would be that any hookup shouldn’t happen within 1 or 2 texts and boom – we meet. The good ones require a Lot of back and forth until I feel comfortable enough not only… Read more »
I agree,,, I enjoy chatting,, I like to chat and get to know a person,,what they’re into if they’re married so I know what to expect,,that may Las a month maybe two cause I’m married and I much rather travel to meet,, I prefer not to play in my city,,,but I like to let a top know what I like and don’t like,,if he’s expecting to get fucked or if he a 100%top,,,,it’s better to have a understanding before the meeting,, yes I agree chatting and get to know a person works out much better
And I agree with you too. I wouldn’t necessary say I enjoy chatting. It’s more like I treat it as a business proposition, along the lines of “you wanna have sex with me? this is what I’m about, this is what I need/want, this is what I don’t want.” And per Dan Alan’s excellent message above, if the other one is unwilling to discuss details, he’s either wrong for you or could be reckless or unsafe. Move onto the next one. P.S.: I’m also married, so it’s all on the side, on the down-low.
Would love to chat with you sometime,, married man to married man
Not sure if they’ll allow this, but my a4a name is travelingbimmny if you’d like to chat.
if someone asks for your email because they are never on this site to communicate, or tells you without your asking that in addition to their regular job, they do investing on the side to make extra money, delete them immediately. If they are never on this site to communicate, why are they here now? if they tell you they are investing on the side, inevitably they will ask you to give them money to invest. Delete these scammers and keep looking. You will find what you are looking for. DO NOT give personal information, or your money, to anyone… Read more »
NNOO………DO NOT “DELETE THEM IMMEDIATELY”.
REPORT THEM AND GET THEM BANNED FROM THE SITE…
Especially anyone whose profile says they’re from “Cheney, KS.” What’s up with all of those phonies?
Love ANON hookups still always intriguing meeting someone for the first time and getting naked shortly after
When someone truly wants to meet up with you, they will do everything possible to do so. If they’re non-committal or have excuses, it’s best to move on. Delete them and look for someone else.
I’ve been seeing an astounding number of new members (a month or less) over the past year or so who will chat and say they want to meet. Their profiles are a good match for mine. They either set up a meeting for “tomorrow” and cancel last minute, or just keep putting off the date for the meeting. I’ll give them a reasonable amount of discussion time, but will just finally leave the ball in their court if they for whatever reason can’t get with the program.
In the days before cell ph’s and internet; because hooking up was done in the woods/parks, street or in the bars back then, just depending. I learned very early on after coming out; the majority of the guys, have no idea either; what they’re doing. I thought it best not to let my dick rule my head, masturbate first before going out for a night of fun. I had no problem meeting guys; so, ‘we’ would just make an actual “date” for another time, then fool around and or sex. I had two decent relationships, they’re not always easy but… Read more »
Hookups can be great … with planning. Have set up many when on travel over the years, using the Plan-a-Trip link on A4A and another site I’m on. I’ll start chatting with guys 1-2 weeks ahead of time to get a feeling for who they are, what they seek, and most importantly what they have to offer. Guys who blow into town, announce they’re at a hotel and want you get there NOW are not ensuring success. Not interested in meeting with them after just a couple of lines of chatting. If guys aren’t interested in chatting ahead, I’m thankful.… Read more »
Great comment. I’ve done the same in multiple cities over the last 20 years using Adam. Most of the Adam guys are (a) flakes, (b) frauds, or (c) pic collectors in every town. However, there is a core of genuine Adam guys that are real, down to earth, and a great hookup. That requires posting in advance and chatting although I’ve also done the “I’m in town come on over” with the same results. Adam is so well worth the time for the real hookups you land. Just expect a lot of chaff before you bed that wheat. They’re the… Read more »
I’ve had the pleasure as well of reconnecting with guys on cities I’ve had return visits to. Bonus!! No work!!
Sounds like we’re all on the same page here. Key is keeping a fairly lengthy dialog going on a4a ahead of time. If the other guy loses patience, there’s something about him that isn’t going to be right – either unsafe or just not careful enough in some way. The ones who see it through to the knock-knock-on-the-door are the good ones. I, too, never let a biz travel trip and my hotel room go to waste.
Exactly! And don’t go telling the world how your hookup was a nightmare because you just jumped onto the next body that came along without any thoughts of your own happiness/protection. You’re not a victim; your an ass.
And you may even be suicidal. Years ago, I heard about a married guy like us who apparently didn’t do his proper due diligence, didn’t practice safe sex, and it resulted in the married guy getting a positive HIV test. I later heard, he committed suicide not long after fessing up to his wife and family. Yikes!
It is the ultimate affirmation to find that others desire you. We live in a society where, in spite of all the advances, gay & bisexual men are looked down upon or are tolerated at best. There is no surprise that many men are lacking self esteem. Then, when someone you are attracted to indicates that he “wants you,” there is a kind of validation, a good feeling of being worthy and, if you are lucky, a really good orgasm or two on top of it all! Or bottom. Or…
I’m a 60 year old MWM bi top man married to my bi wife for almost 40 years. She has never been able to match my huge sex drive so she allows me to see men on the side. As many have said, faceless hookups I never see again is just not fulfilling for me. Sure, raw lusty sex has it’s allure but, for me, sex with some actual love and affection is so much more satisfying. I see a small circle of regulars, all closeted bi married men whose wives quit all sex at surprisingly young ages. They see… Read more »
You’re ‘still’ in touch, with a deeper more meaningful side; love that you said, ” spiritual connection; making love.”
Sounds like you’re in a kind of “nice boat” so to speak, you’re all or mostly bi- especially that your wife is bi, too.
The HONESTY, the OPENESS, is what I like about your situation.
By hooking up
I have learned many things…the number one lesson is to never expect that the person you are going to meet will look anything like their picture or even have anything in common with the content of their profile! You could get sadly disappointed or shockingly surprised!