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Dating: Ten Ways To Move On From A Breakup

Image credit: StockSnap from Pixabay 

Here at Adam4Adam, we want our users to find themselves in relationships that are fulfilling and make them happy. However, not all relationships work out, and sometimes you need some time to get over heartbreak.

Whether you’re a young guy going through your first real heartbreak or someone whose current breakup is hitting them really hard, here are 10 tips we hope can help you get over the pain and move on.

1. Take as long as you want

Everyone has a different schedule when it comes to overcoming grief, and you shouldn’t be forced to move on if you know in your heart that the time isn’t right. If you think you still need more time to grieve your relationship, then by all means, do so.

2. Let the tears fall

If the relationship that just ended was in any way important to you, then it’s perfectly normal for you to shed a tear or two. It’s a great way to let all the pain out, and you’ll probably feel better afterwards.

3. Find someone to talk to

Once you’re all cried out, you can also reach out to friends and family who you know will understand everything you’re feeling. They don’t even need to give you advice. Sometimes all you need is a sympathetic ear so you can clear your head and your heart.

4. Work out

Sometimes, you can’t work out the tangle of emotions that you’re feeling. Sometimes, the best thing to do is to keep your body occupied so you don’t dwell too much on your feelings. Exercise also has the added benefit of releasing endorphins, which triggers positive feelings in the body.

5. Have casual sex

Speaking about keeping your body busy, very few things can do that like having sex can. If you pick the right person, you’ll end up feeling really good afterwards. However, keep in mind that this doesn’t work for everyone, and in some cases might even be a worse decision to make. Be absolutely sure about your intentions before going out to have casual sex after a breakup.

6. Get a hobby

Keeping your mind occupied is equally as important as keeping your body occupied when getting over a breakup. Maybe you’ve always wanted to learn to play the guitar or learn how to speak another language. There no better time to start than now.

7. Get back in touch with friends

Admit it, when you’re in a relationship you sometimes end up neglecting your friends. Now that the relationship is over, try reaching out to friends you’ve lost contact with because of the relationship. Who knows, they might just be the sympathetic ear you need.

8. Party

Again, this isn’t something that going to work for everybody, so be very sure about your decision before heading out to the clubs. But if you’re sure you’re not going to end up a drunken mess by the end of the night, then go ahead and dance the night away.

9. Conduct a relationship post mortem

If looking back at all that went wrong with your relationship is something you can handle, then by all means, do so. Listing down all the bad things in a relationship can help make you realize that perhaps its better that it didn’t work out. From there, moving on will probably be easier to do.

10. Plan for the future

Now that you’re back on your own, take the time to look at personal goals you may have set aside when you were in a relationship. Look at what you can accomplish and start making plans to do it.

To our Adam4Adam blog readers who’ve also survived tough breakups, what advice can you give to move on? Tell us all about it in the comments section below!

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  1. Matt

    11. Stop being highly emotional. The gift of being a man is to have better emotional control and stability.

    12. Look at whether the relationship was enmeshed and codependent then seek therapy as needed.

    13. Stop thinking “a gay relationship is like a straight relationship except it is two men”.

    14.. Repeat #11

    15. Buck up and get the hell beyond it. Don’t lose more than an hour.

  2. Hunter0500

    Matt adds great points. Here another:
    16. Vet your relationships carefully.

    How often do guys say “I found myself in a relationship with a guy who (insert negative attribute here)”? How often do guys quickly fall into relationships (go exclusive, move in together, etc.) because the pheromones we’re flying instead of taking a couple/few months to get to know the “prince” first? Three of my buds over the years (gay and straight guys) have said to me “whenever I push for a relationship, they’ve ended as train wrecks. I’m just going to stop looking at everyone as potential relationship material and not jump at whoever looks good today.” Two of them have been married now for years. The third is in a solid long long term gig.

  3. David

    We now have fifteen reasons yet not one of them involves forgiving the other person and being friends.
    What a stupid article. You are recommending someone goes out and gets trashed at a bar by partying. Yeah, lots of good will come from that. Who writes this poop?

  4. KinkyKowboy

    Wow… Matt… you might want to consider counselling yourself. You probably having yet experienced “the one that got away”. You will, boy, you will. And when it happens your “be a man” and “only spend and hour” are not going to be of much comfort.

    You see real men are taught to have compassion for others, especially others; the sick, the elderly, the young, the less fortunate — and also those who experience hardship, and a breakup in an emotional hardship.

    To fall is love can be one of the greatest moments of a man’s life, and can also be one of saddest and most traumatic. Poems, songs, plays, artwork have been created by man to mark and honor a lost love. There have been studies and research of male and female responses to relationships ending, and believe it or not, men experience higher rates of emotional stress and take longer to recover (sorry, I just read that paper, but I’m not boring people with footnotes).

    Here’s my suggestion or opinion.

    Though the days may seem long, hard and empty. And little, if no comfort can be found. Just keep moving on. Feel the bitterness, feel the sadness; the hurt, violation, disregard and betrayal. For there will be only a couple of times in your life, and this may be the only time, that you will experience being a true human being. Weather you believe in higher powers, religion, or science, you were made to experience all of the feelings and emotions you’re contending with. The intensity will lessen; day by day, and night by night. All wounds heal, but major wounds take a lot of time and care. Disregarding or “acting strong” will only extend the healing process and may even make the wound hurt worse. Think of this as that once in a life time injury, surgery, tragic accident for the experience is the same. You were going along fine, happy, and then something went sideways. You didn’t see it coming, there was no time to correct yet you tried, and then it was over before you realized it. Maybe it took a day, or a week to sink in, but you realized something was wrong; and it was. It’s that moment you then realized you were in love, but not it’s over. That is the tragedy of being in love.

    But remember this. At some time, some way and some point in your life you will recall the feelings before the end as the best experience you’ve had. No material goods, vacations, wines or restaurant experiences will ever come close to the weeks, months, years of being in love. How will you know you’re in love? You will never really know the depth and extent of being in love until it’s over.

    Take a couple weeks to just rest. Relax, and approach everything gently. Eat healthy, exercise lightly. In a word; recuperate. Put any gifts, pictures, clothing, etc. in a box and give it to a friend or hide it out of sight. Don’t make major decisions, or commitments; and be kind and gentle to yourself and those around you. And after a few weeks, maybe a month or so, take 15 minutes to look at your former lover, but also yourself. Write down, honestly, both of your strengths and weaknesses. Add that to the box and do something else. Do the same 15 minutes everyday for the next two weeks. Keep on schedule, don’t put it off. And when that task becomes tiresome and boring and tedious. Then you’re pretty much done with the worst and are will on the path of healing.

    Good luck; now go write a poem, compose a song, or build a monument! You’ve experience one of the greatest events in life!

  5. Nathan

    Nathan Suggests the Following if a resolution cannot be found:

    1. A Dry Cleaning Bag over the face for proper asphyxiation;
    2. A Slashing of-the-wrists while steep in a bath tub of hot water;
    3. A rope affixed over-the-head and around-the-neck…tightly drawn;
    4. A 110 – 220 power line buried deep within a sponge to be grabbed when steeping into a tub
    of water;
    5. A jar of Applesauce emptied by spoon and then, 60 Nebutals swallowing in progression;
    6. A long walk, in a straight line, off The Palisades Cliffs;
    7. A Parachute which does not open when jumping out of a plane;
    8. A sharp, serrated, steak knife, plunged into the abdomen…with Herculean Force;
    9. A Sit on the meridian during rush hour;
    10. Lying down upon the railroad trucks during rush hour;
    11. Attempting to cross a street, in front of the local high schools, when mothers barrel-ass out
    of the parking lots;
    12. Extolling the virtues of President Trump within the Jewish Community;
    13. Listening to Wagner’s Ring Cycle ill with cancer;
    14. Suggesting to the Gay Community that there is more to being straight than a six-pack and the
    strength of the THC in a joint;
    15. Losing your way within The La Brea Tar Pits;
    16. Standing up on a battlefield with your helmet on;
    17. Drinking to completion radiator fluid mixed with Rose’s Lime Juice;
    18. A 38 rested upon either side of the forehead with the trigger pulled;
    19. Listening to Barbara Streisand with the needle stuck in the groove;
    20. The Good Lord hears your agony and ecstasy and extricates the miserable’s from their

    Now, Nathan will save himself with a good cup of black coffee, with milk and 1/2 teaspoon of sugar for a job…well done!

  6. ben

    I took a break after my ex and I ended it. I think the break has become my new relationship–it’s been 20 years.

  7. Ricky

    Nothing fixes the breakup blues, as per this article, than indiscriminant sex. Nothing like getting an STD to get over a break up. Yeah, show that tramp ex by getting HIV, Super Clap or a never anal warts. Great idea!

  8. Buxtin

    heres some thought guys…the guy u think is a soulful thinker because he doesnt say much..and tries to pass for one of those strong silent types….is really a sociopath…Its not ez to see right away…the turn on for him is manipulation. He has no empathy, is narcisstic, thinks hes superior..the smile he offers is him thinking how stupid u are and how ez u were to manipulate..the main turn on is he uses discretion…its not necessarily sex that he mimicks via porn. He hides behind discretion…so while hes rawgangbanging and manipulating that scenerio discretely….its the facscination of doing it with u next alone thinking hes something that hes not that really turns him on….U think hes a good guy..right..he sexy..masc…took an interest in u for the same reason even tho ure a top…hes verse…and hosts…ok….the sex is hot for U..Ure new to this…to him ure just 3rd of the day U find this out 3 months later ….all it took was for U was to ask some other guys on the site…to find all u were was the newest conquest and hes been doing this for decades with the same pic…Now it all makes sense…the mimicking of porn…the lack of feelings and emotions….All u can think is thank god I always wore a condom…and what a lousy way to deceive someone just to get into their pants…Had ud known what this person was really about u’d never have been his wkly hook up…Now u realize all u were was a drop in the bucket. Him he doing it to some other nice guy…over and over….using discretion…and thinking what a stupid ass and how superior he is to have gotten U in this position….Yet behind the scenes hes a very sick individual…he self loathes himself…his bf…and his life….so he does this to fill a hole known as nothing…at so many nice guys expense…his thought…”well ure on these sites u know what ure in for” So u chalk it up as experience…While so many guys go not knowing the sociopath waits to manipulate them next…using any tactic that appeals to U. Isn’t there something that can be done about guys like this….the potential spreading of hiv, stds…?

  9. Buxtin

    Point is guys consider urself lucky….A sociopath tries to make up for his inadequacy and incompetency by manipulation. Thats what turns him on..not necessarily the sex..he hates his life and self loaths himself so he uses nice guys to fill the void via manipulation thru discretion….Exposing them to potential stds, hiv, hpv…All the while thinking its funny…that he was superior, narcisstic enough to do it…remember he has no empathy..Hes engaging .the only person he cares about is himself…u are just an object..he is a very sick individual…So what do we do if we know someone is actively acting in this manner?…How can we warn guys? How can we report him? How do we protect ourselves from sociopaths? Hes been doing it and continues to do it for decades….rawgangbangs…potential spreading of diseases..he finds it all amusing…with no accountability.

  10. Zerin

    Im sad to say i have experienced this situation first had with my ex. Sad thing to say is that for some messed up,reason i still love him

  11. Buxtin

    Its because u thought u could fix him…u cant fix a sociopath..they have no empathy and think of others as objects….the smile they show is them thinking how stupid u are…its a very twisted personality and one u should stay far away from…manipulation is what turns them on…nothing else…they are self loathers…they hate their lives…themselves and their situations….thus they turn to manipulating others to seek thrills in an otherwise void of existence….my advice…run..or consider urself very lucky u got out when u did…there is nothing to the shallow existence of a sociopath…they are engaging only to the point of manipulation…nothing more…they use discretion as a means to foster manipulation…thus the turn on…its a very pathetic existence….they are also hi risk for stds…hiv….with no accountability…they are shallow…and their character was lost long ago…replaced by whatever ego falsehood that is avail this week…the best way to think of them is as spiders that smile….there is one near me who has been doing it for years…same pic….on multiple websites…..duping guy after guy….he focuses in on new guys and married guys as prey…..

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