Do you want to have children, guys? Why or why not?
For those who have children, why did you choose to have children and would you choose to have kids again, if given the choice? Why or why not? More importantly, how did you decide whether to have children or not?
We scoured the Internet to check what other gay men thought about this topic and as usual, the answers are different for everyone. Some are for it, while others are not, due to various reasons being money, time, and concerns or fear that they may not have what it takes to be a good father owing to their traumatic childhood and abusive father.
One gay man replied, “I enjoy silence and money.”
Another one confessed, “I don’t want children because I don’t believe I would be a good father.” His response garnered a comment which read, “Isn’t that a sign that you would/could be a good father? I don’t think bad parents worry about being a bad parent.”
Meanwhile, another respondent shared:
My husband didn’t want kids because he was abused by his father and thought he would be a terrible father just like his.
I pressured him into kids.
He was right, he was a very horrible father. He is now a wonderful father, but his concerns were valid.
Further, this one guy said that while he doesn’t want to have children, he is amenable to having one. “I don’t care about having kids, my boyfriend does. But if it means I can save some orphan from a shitty life one day, I will sacrifice some of my freedom to create a worthy home for them.”
Studies say, as cited by American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, there are an estimated 1 to 9 million children in the United States who have at least one parent who is lesbian or gay. They also stated that “there are approximately 594,000 same-sex partner households, according to the 2000 Census, and there are children living in approximately 27 percent of those households.”
In addition, AAMFT said:
Most research studies show that children with two moms or two dads fare just as well as children with heterosexual parents. In fact, one comprehensive study of children raised by lesbian mothers or gay fathers concluded that children raised by same-sex parents did not differ from other children in terms of emotional functioning, sexual orientation, stigmatization, gender role behavior, behavioral adjustment, gender identity, learning, and grade point averages. Where research differences have been found, they have sometimes favored same-sex parents.
What about you, guys? Would you choose to have kids? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below!