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Do you want to have children, guys? Why or why not?
For those who have children, why did you choose to have children and would you choose to have kids again, if given the choice? Why or why not? More importantly, how did you decide whether to have children or not?
We scoured the Internet to check what other gay men thought about this topic and as usual, the answers are different for everyone. Some are for it, while others are not, due to various reasons being money, time, and concerns or fear that they may not have what it takes to be a good father owing to their traumatic childhood and abusive father.
One gay man replied, “I enjoy silence and money.”
Another one confessed, “I don’t want children because I don’t believe I would be a good father.” His response garnered a comment which read, “Isn’t that a sign that you would/could be a good father? I don’t think bad parents worry about being a bad parent.”
Meanwhile, another respondent shared:
My husband didn’t want kids because he was abused by his father and thought he would be a terrible father just like his.
I pressured him into kids.
He was right, he was a very horrible father. He is now a wonderful father, but his concerns were valid.
Further, this one guy said that while he doesn’t want to have children, he is amenable to having one. “I don’t care about having kids, my boyfriend does. But if it means I can save some orphan from a shitty life one day, I will sacrifice some of my freedom to create a worthy home for them.”
Studies say, as cited by American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, there are an estimated 1 to 9 million children in the United States who have at least one parent who is lesbian or gay. They also stated that “there are approximately 594,000 same-sex partner households, according to the 2000 Census, and there are children living in approximately 27 percent of those households.”
In addition, AAMFT said:
Most research studies show that children with two moms or two dads fare just as well as children with heterosexual parents. In fact, one comprehensive study of children raised by lesbian mothers or gay fathers concluded that children raised by same-sex parents did not differ from other children in terms of emotional functioning, sexual orientation, stigmatization, gender role behavior, behavioral adjustment, gender identity, learning, and grade point averages. Where research differences have been found, they have sometimes favored same-sex parents.
What about you, guys? Would you choose to have kids? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below!
Be that as it may…
some of us know, intrinsically, that we would not be good parents.
The reason being…anyone can be a father but not everyone can be a suitable parent.
So, some of us already know what will work and what will not work; hence, the smart ones go with
the flow and leave it be.
Well, I should have just Cum on her tits like I did EVERY other time….but, hell I love my kid and I love being a Dad.
I highly recommend it to any of you who want to be fathers…and, remember they grow up so fast!
…I do, however, miss having disposable income.
I do, however, miss having disposable income.
You Play; You Pay!
Well, yeah… that’s part of parenting.
Everyone’s life changes to revolve around the child. It’s a good thing.
Uh, no, it’s not. Not by a long shot.
That’s totally subjective.
We chose to become parents. One of us had a great family background and childhood, The other one did not, but was determined to do better than their parents had. We chose to wait a few years before becoming parents. We had discussed it and agreed to it when our relationship became long term. We wanted to buy a home and its furnishings, buy cars, be sure sure we had health and life insurance, and had a plumped-up savings account and investments ready to take on the task. Those years had us as DINKs (double income no kids) and we… Read more »
Very nice, considering how the self-centered ‘we’ tend to be.
I think it’s great that someone or a couple; as gay men, could have enough love to nurture and raise a child, such respect for that, kudos!
Thanks. As we headed toward parenthood, we came close to stepping up to the plate when a single mom family member was flirting with death and we agreed one morning during the crisis we’d take in her two kids if needed (as guardians or parents). She recovered, fortunately. Along the way we also discussed the “what if?” we had fertility problems. Before taking “heroic” efforts (blowing tons of money) to conceive, we’d adopt. Hell, there have always been all kinds of kids needing homes. The adoption process sucks, but the end result is worth it. There was also foster parenting… Read more »
Hell. Fucking. No. I’d rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon.
Having kids is a personal choice. For me i would be an awesome parent, however i prefer just to be the favorite uncle. Dont get me wrong i love other peoples kids because i can send them back to their parents. Hopped up on sugar of course. haha
Who the hell would want to bring poor children into this f’d up world right now with the ‘so called adults’ behaving like they have poopy diapers!
an urine filled diapers, too?
Yeah, you’re not alone, I’ve heard heteros say the same thing.
i’m way too ugly to have children, honey, not good enuff either
There is always hope that ugliness will escape your children? It can skip a generation!
I’ve seen two ugly people make cute ass kids. Ya never know how genetics work
I got to enjoy my 1st niece from the time she was just born, I was just 17 myself, but she had already gotten into my heart, she’s a retired Navy vet now. Funny, I bought her a navy outfit when she was just a baby, I don’t think that was a coincidence! Yeah, I’ve always loved babies, I knew, what I was to miss out on, a lesbian friend and I talked about that once, she was a gorgeous African Amer, woman, intelligent, we laughed, “we’re both quite strikingly tall attractive intelligent people, they’d have a very good start,… Read more »
Yes I’d love to have kids, but that dang biology!!
There are over 400,000 kids in the US alone that are in foster care, and approx 130,000 of them are available for adoption, so don’t make excuses about biology.
I wanted to be a parent, my husband really didn’t want to be but was willing. Our relationship was too rocky the last 2 years (together 16), and we split. I took time to pick up the pieces, decided to start a family, and within 4 years of the split, I was the parent to a teenage boy. I worked on adopting a second child, but that failed, and I didn’t have the energy to go through all of that again. My son is now almost 23, still lives with me, works about 35 hours a week, and has started… Read more »
as a young man years ago, I seared I would never have kids since I never enjoyed being around kids mostly young babies. as I joined the military I didn’t have time for sex or think about finding someone or having a relationship. but as I came back to state side from Germany and on my last couple of years before leaving the military I found the guy I wanted to spend my life with. he was divorce with two kids. came to find out his ex didn’t want the kids so withend a few months we came down to… Read more »
No. Even if I were straight I wouldn’t. I have no visceral need to reproduce. I had great parents, a great childhood and I’m an awesome uncle (according to my niblings) but, no. I’ve never had a desire for my own kids. My very straight, very happily married brother and sister-in-law feel the same way.
I think this is a very good thing to discuss or think about on your own because I feel that WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE HAVE CHILDREN SIMPLY BECAUSE IT’S A BYPRODUCT OF HAVING CARELESS SEX!!! And in my opinion there are MANY straight people who should never have been parents!!! These days parents want to be able to do all of the things they used to do and someone else is supposed to be responsible for the children when they are too busy!!! Everyone is apparently supposed to only engage in activities and behavior that is age appropriate for their… Read more »
Btw, and for the record…I have an AMAZING CONNECTION WITH CHILDREN AND ALWAYS HAVE!!! However at about 20 years old I realized that for the life I wanted to have as an adult it would be selfish to have children of my own!!! I have had/have huge numbers of children in my life!!! In my family I have over 60 nieces and nephews!!! For over 30 years I was the director of a dance school and felt very much a part of nurturing their young minds and spirits!!! The first time I felt like a proud parent was in 2002… Read more »
I was married, parent of my two Preciouses, divorced, and thirty-four years old when I had my first experience with a male. I raised my two alone as a divorced, custodial parent. They’re thirty-seven and thirty-one now – and I will still tell anyone that raising them has been the greatest joy of my life. Yes, it’s a sacrifice. Yes, your entire life will be delightfully upended. Yes, you will encounter challenges, ecstasy, concerns, and pride – and all of it will be a pure delight. They’re now fully educated, gainfully employed, and pursuing wonderful careers. If you can find… Read more »
No, I have had to have two kidney transplants at 24 and 35 due to a hereditary kidney disease known as Alport syndrome. I am a strong believer in eugenics and do not want to pass my defective genes on. If I were heterosexual I’d have a vasectomy to remove myself from the gene pool but mother nature in her infinite wisdom realized I was defective and took care of that by making me gay so my sperm has no chance of getting anywhere near a vagina so the snip would be unnecessary surgery.
I’m so sorry to hear that man
Sorry to hear about your kidney issues. Remember, one can be a parent to an adopted child, and they are entirely too many kids in the US alone that would love to get out of foster care and into a forever loving home.