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Have you ever experienced this, guys, a painful anal sex? Moreover, are you a top or a bottom?
Anyway, we are bringing this up because we stumbled upon this thread on askgaymen wherein the original poster (OP) asked:
Is anal supposed to hurt (for tops)?
So, I’m a top and I just tried anal for the first time. My bottom rode me and he seems to have enjoyed it but for me it felt like my penis was being crushed and it wasn’t stimulated at all.
Is this normal?
Here are some of the answers that this question generated: “It can be if it’s not done correctly. Gotta find a position that’s comfortable for the both of you and comfortable for your cock.” Another guy replied, “He was probably going too hard, lol. I don’t really enjoy it when someone rides my dick, but it depends.”
One guy replied in jest, “Tell him to go easy on you. It’s not a pogo stick, it’s attached to me.”
Meanwhile, another guy advised, “Step one, you get on top and control the thrusting and speed. Learn what you like and then you’ll know to impart that knowledge to your partner. Personally, I hate being ridden like that.” You can read the entire thread here.
Having said all that, yes, it’s as the guys above had said: anal sex can hurt. The good news is that it doesn’t have to be. Apart from the aforementioned advice, and on top of going slow and easy, here are some of the things that you can do to make anal sex enjoyable for you and your partner:
- Communicate – it’s important that you and your partner talk and prepare if you want the experience to be fun and enjoyable. Talk about what you want: speed, positions, do you have other concerns? Etc.
- Use lubes, and lots of it – there are many kinds, and you can find some here if you ran out of it. The anus doesn’t self-lubricate but lubes make penetration easier, thereby resulting to a safer and much pleasurable anal play. Using it reportedly “reduces the risk of skin tears, in turn lowering the risk of infection.”
- Condoms – As aforementioned, the anus doesn’t self-lubricate so there might be accidental tears, and unprotected anal sex also puts you both into higher risk for sexually transmitted infections (STIs) like Hepatitis B, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and HIV to name a few.
- Sex toys – they are a good way to start. Tops can help their bottom ease into anal play with the use of sex toys. And the good news is that whether they are butt plugs, prostate massagers, or anal beads, you can find them here.
For more tips and advice on anal sex, click here and here.
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Anyway, going back to the original question at hand, have you ever experienced a painful anal sex, guys? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below!
Yes, it hurts so good. Lube and poppers usually helps me out.
I am BIMWM and all bottom.
I been with guy with 5” to 9.5”
I say it hurt at first that cause your tensed up after that it is sheer pleasure.
I found out late in life I prefer M2M and I get more pleasure out of anal then I every did with female
Somebody help! As a 62-yr-old bi-married-closeted man, I’ve for long been almost exclusively a top. I was versatile in my pre-married years. Over the past 10 years, I’ve found myself more interested in bending over again and have done so on a few occasions. But I find it very tricky – on rare occasions, it’s been pure heaven, but most times it really hurts. I also have a vivid memory of when I got my cherry popped at age 18 and the enormous pain I endured. So I say “help!” because I want to enjoy taking it up the ass… Read more »
I’m a bottom and might be strange. But, I get wet like a pussy. I’m a screamer and a sprayer and I have major assgasms all over my partners. I get very wet and they love it. I only need to lube the opening to my hole. The rest is Already wet with anticipation.
You don’t get wet. That’s physiologically impossible. There’s nothing there to GET you wet.
How are you going to tell this man what happens with HIS body? I happen to get wet as well.
Maybe wet is the wrong term – when I get fucked I emit mucus that has the density of thick cum. Not as much as Grtbttmguy describes, but certainly an ample amount of lube!
I once had a very sexy bottom that was the same. Once I got into him I’d swear his ass got wetter and wetter just like a vagina. I loved that and really miss him now that he has moved on of state.
No love a big thick cock in my ass with lots of lube go slow if you can’t take a big cock all positions love it on my back while kissing riding cock till you feel his base and front behind deep hard yes sir. Once you had big thick cock you don’t g back feel his big warm load in your ass
When I first took a cock inside my ass it would hurt for about ten minutes then just joyful feelings and now it’s just pleasurable from the start with no pain nowadays and I learned how to get inside someone’s ass for the first time and not hurting at all
Care to give pointers on how you figured out how to get in without hurting? 🙂
I’m versa-top and anal sex shouldn’t hurt at all top or bottom. It should be pleasurable and mutually satisfying. If pain is involved, it should be communicated and appropriate changes be made to make it enjoyable and pleasurable for both.
I’ve only had anal sex-passively, twice: one man, his dick was quite small I was on my back, legs up over his back; especially, being I was a whole foot taller, lmao! But it felt like, well, like a pencil or something, painful! Fast forward, the second time I tried it, he must have been about a 7inches or so, he gave me Ginseng-tea; I was in the prostate pos., it didn’t hurt, but it didn’t ‘do’ anything for me either. So, yeah, I think it’s all about how your wired, additionally, the position has much to do with it.… Read more »
While the first time is always less pleasant than you hope for, I have always found anal sex to be painful, as in no matter the amount of lube used or the size of the cock, “it really fucking hurts” painful. And while I’ve topped numerous bottoms who couldn’t relate to my situation, l equally couldn’t relate to their willing desire to be topped. That said, “bend over and I’ll drive” has been my motto ever since l started only topping. I guess this is why in my early 20s l exclusively started being only a top. And while I… Read more »
That’s what I need!
Best advice I ever got, Kinda gross but works: try to “poop” the cock out as he enters. It works. Also, whenever I have topped a newbie I tell them I will take it slow til they say “GO!”
Thanks for the advice, Ben. I’ll try that (see my question above). Also agree with you about newbies I’ve fucked. I’m all like “OK, we’ll go real easy now,” and they’re like “just shove it in there!”
I’m a bottom so yeah, anal can be painful if he doesn’t take it slow in the beginning. I’ve had guys with below average cocks hurt me because they just ram it in and start slamming away. I’ve also had guys with 7.5″ cocks make it a very pleasurable experience. It’s all in how you start out. Go in really slow and give your man time to relax before you start hammering away.
Anal sex. Just not wired for it. Not a fan of topping. On a good day, bottoming is not painful. It never has been pleasurable. The few guys I bottom for know it and are attentive and considerate. It’s fun focusing on my their enjoyment when we do it.
Many gay guys don’t enjoy it. Yet , it’s held up as almost a requirement by many others; you aren’t “gay” if you don’t top or bottom. Anal is just one if the many available sex acts. It should not be held up as a requirement for all gays.
i,m with you there, very seldom do i like to bottom, just never been that fun or interesting and maybe just a little disgusting, if not clean enough,,, could be the only reason i,m still alive!
I am a total bottom. I love getting fucked.. my ass has been stretched pretty good.. I do lube my ass good before getting fucked… I have never had my partner complain that my ass hurts his dick… I have one partner with a huge dick.. I mean horse size.. He says my ass is the best he has ever had….he says he hates it when a guy starts to whimper and pull away when he puts it in.. he says he loves the way I shove my ass up to take his big dick..and grab his ass and try… Read more »
Hell yea also wear a jock strap so he can pull on the waist band to go in deeper very hot
Depends on the ride. In the beginning there might be discomfort if the top doesn’t take the time with foreplay loosening up his bottom first. Communicate if it hurts say something. Ask if you can help guide his cock in Show respect too your top, (don’t ask me your hand and ass gets slapped). For me I don’t want a gentle ride, I lime feeling like I was fucked.
I’m versatile but do prefer bottom. I have a regular guy who is fairly thick, but is patient. What hurts to me is the initial penetration, so he gets part way in, stops and then pulls out until the initial pan subside and I’m ready again. We go through this a couple of times, and then I’m ready for all of him. We’ll do anal for a bit, and then go to other things. When it comes time for anal the second and third time, I can take him right away and don’t have those inital painful episodes again.
Pop that muscle and then it slides in easy. I do that for my bottoms.
From my limited times as of now only nine tops first being in 09 last in 2021 if prepared right and properly lubed while also being intrigued seduced and foreplayed right it’s really quite gratifying and amazing feeling weather you get orgasm or not which I’ve yet to have from human on twice as bottom from strapon
Anal sex doesn’t have to hurt if you have a skilled, patient and compassionate top. A good top understands how much he can hurt his bottom and takes every possible measure not to. I’ve always been this way since if I just think I am hurting my partner I go soft.
For me, it does take my breath away for a bit. But there is that moment when pain becomes pleasure that is wonderful. It’s all about preparing, relaxing and kissing.
I have never heard of anal hurting for a top. My first time was great. This guy seems to possibly be absolutely clueless. That being said, for the bottom, anal can be a little painful at first, but as an experienced bottom, I can’t remember the last time anal hurt. If you are cleaned out, lubed up, and get your partner lubed up, it’s a great experience. Bonus point for those tops that love to warm our holes up with rimming before they fuck us silly. I’ve even had a couple that would alternate… rim, fuck, rim, fuck, rim, fuck…… Read more »
yep i agree fully i have not had that problem either as a bottom
If done properly, it shouldn’t hurt too much at first. I know for me it can be uncomfortable at first, but once I’m used to it, I enjoy getting stretched out by a nice man.
Rarely have I bottomed in my entire life. It always felt like the discomfort I feel when I have to take a dunk really bad or if I’ve got terrible gas pains. Then when it was over my asshole was swollen and numb.There was one rare occasion when a guy penetrated me and it actually felt good. I was even hard during it. I never understood how some bottoms get hard and even ejaculate while being penetrated. I go completely limp.
So you have never came while being fucked,,or did I misunderstood you,,, I’m a DL very discreet bottom,,not married but I do have a ole lady,,, I was always curious about what it was like to get fucked,,so I built the nerves up and met a guy online,,, the first time it took a minute for me to take him,, ,,I really wasn’t into it,,but he told me the next time would be better,,the next day I met him and it was a lot better,,, after about ten minutes inside me and talking to me as if I was his… Read more »
No. I’ve never come when I was fucked. I’ve made guys come before fucking them though. Turns me on too!
I have to agree with Eric as a bottom. Never had a complaint about pain for a top. I have had a little pain my first time bottoming but it became a good pain after I relaxed. You need to clean up inside and maybe play a little with a toy in the shower to get ready for a sensual slow and then maybe faster as you get comfortable with each other..I’m always pre lubed before the meet up..poppers can help with the initial penetration too but I only use them when I’m afraid the guy is going to go… Read more »
I am with you except for pre-lubing. Most guys don’t want lube in their mouth, so I lube as I get ready to take cock. I want to be rimmed for a while, and deeply, if my partner is into it.
i am a bottom it hurt the first time but after that if been fantasic i love it and try all kinds of sizes lube is the big thing and a top that knows what he is doing
Hi there I’m a bottom what help me having a cock inside having lots of lube and take you time first to get use to the size and having your ass adjusting to the size then finally accepts it deep inside you can giving you a good long pounding that what it did for me and gave me a good ass oragasm and more.
. Even though I enjoy giving oral when I arrived, I knew what he enjoyed that was anal. After being allowed to suck his massive black manhood, he slowly lubed my hole until i was ready. IT WAS GREAT
I’m a DL very discreet bottom, if it’s been a while it maybe uncomfortable at first,, but it gets better,,,, depending on the side,,,I enjoy a well endowed brotha,,,, even tho Im a bottom my dick get super hard while being fucked,,,,,. I cum to realize when I get fucked good my old lady get fucked good,,,, for some reason the men I meet like to put me in panties,,and I enjoy wearing them,,makes me feel sexy,,,, I enjoy it when I top make me bitch for a few hours,,and I enjoy it when they make me take the dick,,,… Read more »
I love both to top and bottom, I’ve found that the bigger the dick, the better it feels. And when I top, if I go slow at first then I’ll be balls deep and blowin’my load up inside the dude in a matter of minutes. Such an awesome feeling for me, takin’it or givin’ it!
I believe I got very lucky. My first MM experiences were all with the same man. Handsome devil with a true 8.5 x 7.75 mushroom head cock. We were both married to women at the time. He was my first MM kiss, which was the most passionate feeling I ever experienced. First oral. First anal with a man. Because of his size and sensitivity to my inexperience, he proceeded slowly in all aspects of making love – which is what it was – Making Love. Long periods of intense kissing – long periods of intense oral – long periods of… Read more »
I’m a bottom and super tight, and for context, have only actually been fucked by a couple of different cocks (mostly an oral bottom because I’m so tight); I’ve tried many times, but only a couple have actually made it in lol–and those were the last couple of attempts…I finally figured out I have to start in a certain position (bent over the edge of the bed), where I can actually push back into him and control how and when his cock goes in; it helps that the first time I figured this out he was smaller, but it also… Read more »
It always hurts me some when first starting out, but after a few minutes it feels great! I always get hard, and almost always cum, when I get fucked.