(Photo Credits: Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels)
Adam4Adam blog readers, we are pretty sure we all have that “aha moment,” you know, that moment when we realized that we were gay, or bisexual, or transgender. What and when was that moment for you?
We are asking because we just celebrated the National Coming Out Day [NCOD] in the United States. And also because Demi Lovato recently revealed to Queer Eye’s Tan France during an interview that she had such a moment while watching the kiss between Selma Blair and Sarah Michelle Gellar in Cruel Intentions (1999).
In Cruel Intentions, Gellar plays the character Kathryn—a wealthy, popular teenager—whose hobby is to destroy people’s life for her own amusement and her latest project is Cecile (played by Selma Blair), a naïve and sheltered girl.
“It was definitely when I was young and should not have been watching Cruel Intentions but I did and it was that scene where they made out on the park lawn,” Lovato told France during Facebook’s Coming Out 2020 event last Friday. “I was just like ‘Oh wait a minute — I really like that, I wanna try it.’ And then when I was like 17 I did get down with that and that’s when I knew.”
The Stone Cold singer added, “I pretty much told all of my friends and my older sister (that I was queer) when I was 17. They all knew before I brought it to my parents and then to the public. Those were my three phases: Friends, parents, public.”
Lovato revealed further that she wrote some romantic songs about women though fans assumed they were about men. “I’m surprised that some of them didn’t figure out that some of the songs were for certain people. I was sharing it with the world, yet I wasn’t being completely obvious with what I was talking about. Music was my safe space.”
Lovato released a song in 2015 titled Cool for the Summer which is about a tryst with another woman during summertime.
All that being said, what about you, guys? How and when did you realize that you were gay, bisexual, or transgender? Share with us your thoughts and stories below!
There was probably a sliver of my brain that realized I might be attracted to guys when I was 15-16. I enjoyed looking at both sexes but had girlfriends, fiancés, and a wife for many years. In college There was a neighbor in the dorm who was gay. This was new and exciting to me. He was a nice guy, easy going and masculine. Hmmm. For the first time I acknowledged to myself that I might really be interested in gay sex. But I was chicken and very repressed by societal norms. Soon I met a girl who became my… Read more »
So I assume you and your wife still have a good marriage?
We do, been married a long time. Thanks for asking
I don’t recall any defining moment when I came to a realization. From my earliest recollections I just knew I was “different”, and I instinctively knew it wasn’t something I could talk about in the late 1950’s and early 60″s. Thank God times have changed.
This is hardly typical but I can pinpoint the exact moment in my life when something triggered my interest in the male body: I was in 7th grade. It was gym class and the first day we had swimming instructions – our school had an indoor pool. We all had to get changed together in the locker room and it was the first time we would ever get completely naked in front of one another (boys only of course). I quickly noticed I was the only one growing hair above my dick; all the others weren’t there yet. I was… Read more »
I think I knew around age 5 that I was really interested in guys. My Dad worked in a factory but in the office part. I saw his boss in the nude in a shower room when I was there (Dad took me on Saturdays sometimes) and I remember the forrest of hair and that he had foreskin which I didn’t. The man had no idea I was watching him shower nor did Dad. It stirred feelings in me bad. A few weeks later I can remember sitting in church services looking around at all the boys and wondering if… Read more »
As a teenager, my best friend and I found a playboy which we shared paging through. Both getting horny led to masturbation then mutual masturbation and then onto sucking each other and more. That’s when I learned I loved cock
Back in the great Craigslist San Diego days(2003-2010) I was married to a woman, but was able to hook up women easily, like shooting fish in a bucket. 2011 rolls around it’s mostly bots and all of those horny women are gone. I started to post ads versus replying to ads. After a good back and forth, I am horny AF these “women” turn out to be guys. This happens a few times and one day I give in and go to this guys house for an AMAZING blow job. At that point I know I would let a guy… Read more »
I was virtually straight until my late 30’s. I use to transit a city that had bi/gay/straight bars. One Friday night I stopped in and ended up being picked up by a nice guy. We went to his place where he gave me a wonderful blow job! Over the next year I met a number of guys that gave me good head. I began to fantasizes about being more active. In the shower, I used toys. That was OK as I was just Bi curious. One night I stopped at a bar that was gay. I was there a short… Read more »
I was 16 when I came out to MYSELF. But knew since I was 6 that I LOVED Men.
I was 11 when me and a cousin first tried anything…once I felt his dick in my mouth…I KNEW …I wanted any ones I could get.. and now.43 years later… I still NEED that feeling… Taste ..
When I was twelve a 16 year old black school mate asked me to stop by his house after school one day. His mother was a single parent and worked late so it was just he and I in the house. He offered me a beer and I accepted, it was the first beer I ever had. We went into his bedroom and he started changing out of his school clothes, when he dropped his pants I could not help but notice the large bulge in his underwear. I was embarrassed when he caught me looking but he said it… Read more »
Nice but what does his household status have to do with it?
Every girl I banged in high school had a single mother. You know the work schedules so there is never a worry about getting caught, typically had 3 hours after school to play. 2 parents, with one being a stay at home definitely is cock block in high school.
I have always been me, no one else. My parents knew before I knew. I have never had any interest to be in a heterosexual relationship.
I knew I was attracted to men at the age of 12, but I didn’t have a word for the feeling. Later in my adolescence, it was others who told me I was gay but I didn’t understand what that meant. The attraction to men was there largely because I had so many rough experiences that involved toxic women, and I didn’t want to have that kind of thing for a whole life long. So men seemed a better option. Later I got to act on my desires, and that pretty much confirmed it. I had been gay all along,… Read more »
When didn’t I? Been having sex since grade school. A sidelight of living in a Catholic neighborhood for sure. Boys until school, girls and neighborhood boys after that. Older men and women for money from teens till 20s. So the religious fervor of the newly Out has always seemed silly at best, arrogant and stupid at worst. Reminds me of the Born Again convert that has to preface every statement, and wear their feelings on the sleeve with mixed feelings of both inadequacy and superiority. It’s just sex, get over it
Ya’all really think we’re going to want to post that kind of thing for the whole world to see? Nude pics are one thing, our souls are quite another.
It can be very personal, especially when others aren’t like us. For me: We would fool around naked as youngsters. We were nasty boys, and we liked free sexual expression, both the masc/fem norms, but also that we were probably different than others in my neighborhood. It was a secret club, every exploring. I learned my preferences young. There were a few fast sucks and jerk offs until college. Then came Alan, who sucked and fucked and fisted and preferred to play the bottom at any moment, day or night. After that came Bruce, who was realizing she was trans,… Read more »
tough question
I knew as early as 7 or 8 years old, though I didn’t have a name for it then. I have a very clear memory of falling from a “merry-go-round” at a park playground and having the breath knocked out of me. 3 “older” teenager guys rushed to help me. One physically picked me up and carried me to a bench. He checked me over for wounds or broken bones and stayed with me until I recovered. I was enamored, even then, by that physical contact with another guy and the caring attention I got from him. My first sexual… Read more »
When I was an early teen, my male peers began to discuss how attractive certain women (actresses, models, etc,) were. Soon after, I realized how certain men (actors, guys on the street, certain peers) got my attention. I came to understand sex and the difference between gay and straight. However, the only gay men you saw back then we’re those in the news or movies … loud, obnoxious, and flamboyant. They disrupted traffic in the streets or sucked the life out of a room. I knew I wasn’t that if that’s what being gay meant. Over the years, I became… Read more »
i found myself being GAY physically attracted to men when i was around 16-17y/o.
I was 13. A friend and I were walking to school one morning when he asked of I wanted to cut instead. Sure, why not. We walked back to my house since no one was home. When we got there he asked if I beat off. I did not know what he meant. He took out his dick and started jacking it. We went to my room git naked and layed in the bed jack our dicks. We were laying opposite directions so I had his feet next to my head. I kept looking at his dick and feet. Finally,… Read more »
I wasn’t even double-digits old yet, but I was looking at those Sears and Roebuck catalogs; specifically the men’s section of men in their undies. As a teen, I had begun fantasizing about men, so I knew then. What clinched it was when I was a sophomore in senior high, I had a crush on another boy who’s seat was next to mine in home-room. I was so turned-on by this, that when it was time to go to our other classes that when he got up, I placed my hand was his ass had been to feel the warmth… Read more »
I had a few experiences when younger, as young as 12 actually, but nothing throughout my adult life. I had always thought about and fantacized about those younger days, and it always made me excited. After talking about this to an openly gay friend, he suggested talking about it to guys on gay web sites. I decided when I was nearing 50 to act on it, see what I was missing, if you will, and found this was really who I was.
Straight 26 years married, quasi homophobic! Wife lost interest in sex, I posted an ad in Craigslist for fwb nsa fb female! Had several guys reply that they would give me the best blow job if I didn’t find a fb female! After politely declining the offers for about 6 months I finally decided a mouth is a mouth! So I let a guy blow me at the age of 46, then another and another! Then I decided to reciprocate! The first time I blew a guy I knew I wanted to be a cocksucker! After sucking Dick for 3… Read more »
I noticed that I liked guys when I was 13 getting turned on by the pictures of guys naked. My first experience came at 15 when a friend of mine seduced me. I consider myself a open bi sexual man
I just recently realized that I’m bi sexual. My wife was away for over a month and I was lonesome and horny as hell. I fell on adam4adam and was just looking around when one guy suggested a hookup. I guess I’ve always been curious so I said what the hell and we met at my house. I was nervous about it but after we took our clothes off and started touching each other I had an urge to suck his cock. He started to suck me too. I was hooked and have realized that I like sucking and swallowing… Read more »
I was born gay. The earliest I can remember was when it was the early 1960’s and I was 5 or 6 years old. I did not know I was gay or even what sex was. However I can remember watching a western TV show named Cheyenne with the actor Clint Walker. I can remember I would watch the show hoping he would take his shirt off because I was drawn to his hairy chest. Like I say I had no idea what the attraction was and just kept it to myself. I just recently came across an old movie… Read more »
I knew since I was 4 years old. Up til then I was already quite feminine in comparison to my older brothers, but I also remember telling boys they were cute and kissing them on the cheek as soon as I got into Pre-K. In 1st grade I developed a “girlfriend” who was really just a good friend that I’d kinda hold hands with but I was crushing on boys I’d see in movies or magazines. Just innocent stuff. Then unfortunately when I was in 2nd grade I was molested by a 16 yr old. While i knew I was… Read more »
My sister was a HS freshman, so I was 10 or 11 and developed the biggest crush on her boyfriend’s younger brother. That’s when I knew for sure. Nothing happened, no one knew, but that is the earliest I can trace it back to.
I was young ,maybe 8 or 9,when I knew I liked boys more than girls .
Around the age of 6-7 I heard my grandmother call me her “special” grandson, so apparently she knew before I did. I dated girls, even got married at 29. That lasted about 1.5 years until I came to the realization that women weren’t floating my boat. 35 yrs later I can appreciate a woman for what they are, but I will always want to share my life with a man.
I realized I was bi at age 14. I found a copy of playgirl. I looked initially because as a teen boy was curious what other men’s bodies looked like in comparison. The first photo I saw gave me the biggest boner I had ever had at that point. I had been dating girls and was still attracted to them as well. I am married to a woman but have enjoyed sex with both men and women most of my life.
I grew up very sheltered in the pre-computerized 50s. There was no internet to consult for answers or education. I was sxually molested by men several times by the time I was in elementary school. The molesting occurrences grew more numerous as I matured. My molesters became younger, close to my own age. None of the events were painful, but pleasant. I was probably in my late teens to early twenties before I realized I was gay, and really liked guys and being around them. Soon “‘around them” became “intimate with them”. As I gave in to my impulses rather… Read more »
I knew I was bisexual back in 1974 station in Korat,Thailand as an airman. My first encounter with a ladyboy was a midnite in April, my first blowjob and days later penetrated them. Been hooked since. Love cute fems, transgenders, transsexuals and females…never changing!!!!!!!
When I was about 7 or 8 I would play doctor with a neighbor boy the same age, and I always was the doctor and he was my patient…and I would examine him, touch him, and even touch his cock….I then as I grew in my teenage years didn’t think too much about it – but when I was in college, a black student came to me and asked if I would like to mess around in the bathroom…(he was gorgeous) – but I was scared, and said no…however, later that year I met a guy and we hit it… Read more »
For me, I was curious in my later teens, I would watch some gay porn and be curious about being a bottom. When I was 19, back in 2003, I worked up the courage to hook-up with a man I met in an AOL chatroom and AIM (remember those?), the room was “m4m bronx” or “m4m nyc”. The top I met with was older (late 30’s?), he took me to a motel, I was nervous, but it wasn’t bad, lol. I definitely prefer to be with a woman, but I certainly enjoy being a bottom.
AOL… LOL. That’s awesome. I paid extra for the Powertools overlay that would queue you into a room that was full and tried once a second to get you into the room. The good ol’ days!
I had a friend whom was more in tune with himself we’ll say, in about the 10th grade. Myslef, him and a couple others skipped the whole year away and would see the sights of Boston-all the while, i was being exposed to LGBTQ safe havens/hangouts, hearing stories of personal interests and started to develop/recognize my own lust and interests. I knew something would be different in my life when i would go into the male-for-male sections on party lines, skim over things in the porno stores and catch myself looking at gentlemen who’d catch my eye….
Looking back, I knew when I was 7, but didn’t understand until I was in college. Then looking back, I realized over time the feelings I had. I loved seeing all of the naked guys in 7th and 8th grade when we would shower after PE class. I had my first voluntary sexual encounter with a guy when I was 18, and drove 6 hours to meet a guy and spend the weekend with him, fucking like rabbits.
take it around 10 or so. I can remember as a kid that I had mix emotions between boys and girls. During school years I tried to play the role of my friends to be into girls. I never did go out though out my school years. I never went to a prom, dance night, or even gone to a date. After school I join the military, again trying to be a real normal guy, but even in the military my feeling were still there. My first sexual happen when I was 22 when I was invited by one of… Read more »
I always made sure I caught the opening of Trapper John MD, but never watched the show.
You n me both.
When I was about 4 years old, a family member began molesting me, and it continued for years. When I was in my teens, I couldn’t believe that I might want the same thing that had been forced on me. All I could feel was disgust and guilt. I didn’t act on my desires until I was about 24 years old.
I don’t think there was any particular moment when I realized I wanted other boys/men. I couldn’t have been more than five years old when I started fantasizing about having gay sex. Then, there was the time I was in the shower with my grandpa and I recall looking over at his huge cock which was right there in my face, and wanting SO bad to wrap my mouth around it, but not wanting to get in trouble for doing so. After our shower, we went into the bedroom, both still stark naked, to take a nap. He took a… Read more »
I can remember far back when I was about 4 years old sneaking into a a room and trying out all the women’s shoes i could find, that was my first sign. Later I was around 12 years old, it was Halloween and I used that as an excuse to dress up as girl wearing a wig, short green minidress, nylons with high heels and make up, all borrowed from my girl cousin. At 14 I had my very first homosexual encounter with my best friend. It all started playful while swimming i a desolate water hole. My friend started… Read more »
I knew the first time I sucked another guy off. I never felt like that before. I never really cared for sex with females. I have been hooked on guys ever since
I was 10 years old n realized I had a super crush on my first cousin, he went on to becoming an all state running back; more important my fuck buddy. He looked so sexy in tighty whities before they were a thing. His dark brown skin along with the abs drove me wild. He wasn’t my first (that’s a different porn story) but once we had sex we never stopped