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Dates are a great way to get to know a prospective partner, and when things go well it doesn’t just lead to more dates but maybe even to something more long-lasting like a relationship.
Of course, dates are also the perfect opportunity to find out that this guy you’re seeing is someone you never want to see again. This is why first dates are crucial and bombing them can easily result in no further dates.
But what is it exactly that results in you not getting a second date? This was something Reddit user u/Gaycrashtestdummy was curious about, even posting on the subreddit r/askgaybros. Hr got a lot of responses from the community, with the reasons ranging from the simple to serious.
Reddit user u/hexagonalshit, for instance, says it is an “instant boner killer” if dates make fun of other people in “a mean not funny way.”
Meanwhile, users u/Iam_Notreal and u/rascantealeaf consider tobacco enough of a sign not to go on a second date with someone.
User u/yang_xiao-long had more serious reasons. According to him, a previous relationship taught him never to go out again with emotionally stunted guys. He says his ex’s main emotion was anger and that he wasn’t very affectionate. On top of that, their relationship was almost sexless.
User u/EmitingXs, on the other hand, says not respecting his boundaries would mean no second date with the other guy. He says: “When a guy begins and will not stop touching me even after I’ve told them to stop. Why is ‘No’ so hard for some guys to understand some times?”
Another reason for being turned down for a second date, according to user u/RyuumaKun, is the other person only talking about himself the whole time. He says: “When you ask them stuff to get to know them better and to help them ease themselves and they won’t even bother to ask you about your day and you are stuck with them talking about themselves for hours without having asked you one thing.”
How about you, Adam4Adam blog readers? What are the things your date could do that would result in them not getting a second date? Tell us about it in the comments section below!
People date for a variety of reasons…some are justifiable…some are not. If I meet someone, I usually can figure out the real reason for the date; some are desperate who need help with their financial situation…knowing that two can live more cheaply than one. Some date for sex; it’s there and readily available…others date because they are looking to be taken care of and will readily assess your economic wealth or you ability to “take care of things.” Then, there will be those who date…looking for love and companionship. All the aforementioned are justifiable reasons for a date and either… Read more »
A bad first date: someone who’s ‘clearly’ not forthcoming about himself (shady) there’s a lot of that down here, in the sunshine state, how ironic is that. Guys whom regularly, avoid eye-contact, overly-sexual, on the first date without provocation/when its not mutual. Really poor vibes, I’ve been known to just abruptly say, “this isn’t happening for me, thanks but no thanks, sorry, my bad.” Then, there’s those whom just, cannot, hold a conversation to save their lives, omg! “Strong-silent types,” do absolutely nothing for me. I really appreciate am man who is somewhat reserved or shy, who’s personality takes awhile… Read more »
The first goal should always be to not end up meeting a guy who isn’t 2nd datable. That’s accomplished usually through chatting only with guys who have well-completed profiles. If there are gaps, chat about them ahead of time. A handful of discussion lines should take care of them. If not, don’t commit to the first meeting. For me, no Second Dates have happened with guys who are Cum-n-Run or who turn out to be One Hit Wonders (they never meet/play with a guy more than once). Those I try to weed out ahead of time, but as we all… Read more »
Oh! Oh! Can we talk? Do you know how many Cum-N-Run guys try that with me. This is what they say, “Oh sure we can get to know each other. But first we have to have sex to see if there’s chemistry.” I’m like WHAT?!!! Oh no you didn’t. This is what I say back. “Do I look like I bought shares in Valu-Jet and Enron?! I can smell a rotten deal over the phone. You have hope in bed with me to see if there’s chemistry. Got news for you. Try doing it old school with your clothes on!!!”… Read more »
whenever I’ve dated and gotten to know someone before having sex, it ended up being a waste of time because the sex was horrible and aweful. all my LTR started as hookups. that is just my experience.
Being rude to servers… backing trumps behavior (not policies, as I can agree to disagree)… racist words… not treating trans men and women with respect.
I second that motion!!!
Big lies. Not a little embellishment, I think we all end up doing that. But those stats should be in the ballpark and not play the “oh, that pic was from tens years (and thirty pounds) ago. The other is if you say you’re not into the “gay scene” and that you’re straight-acting, A) don’t make it about talking sex in a public place, especially if it’s family-oriented or B) the waitress makes a little faux pas and you come unglued and start berating the poor girl. The number of times I thought it’d be safe to take that hot… Read more »
When you have to “pull teeth” to get them to make conversation. If I’m asking all the questions and they respond with only one word answers, you’re soon to be history in my book.
interests “killers” …
– no sense of humor?!
– no playfull-ness = no body home there.
– eye contact?! avoids.
– judgemental undertow …
– interacts- conversations have two persons in them, usually.
– note to myself …
always listen to my intuition, what my body is saying …
how emotionally safe are you feeling with this person, now?
I’d say smoking. Of anything. But a smoker won’t even get a first date.
For me, it is as simple as being able to carry on a conversation. If you have to do all the work and carry the conversation then you will never get what you want from that relationship. Yes things like looks and attraction count but I am more interested in what he has to say, what his thoughts are and what type of person he is and you can only find those answers by talking. If we don’t click that way, it just is never going to work for me.
Laying next to someone and looking at their alarm clock thinking how much longer should I wait before I bolt. This fucking so sexually boring and clueless his roommate is in love with hima and get so jealous when he brings someone home.
I recently had a date with a young man from NYC… He was nice looking, clean nice guy… HE let me know up front he wanted sex….as soon as he got in my vehicle he took out his cock.. it was pretty big,, looked pretty good… I got us a room and he didn’t waste and time.. He wanted me to suck his big dick.. then he wanted to fuck… in every position.. for hours… without a climax.. endless sex… he couldn’t get enough.. with out a climax… He told me the only way he could climax was to jack… Read more »
What the fuck does this have to do with this article? Are you so socially retarded you don’t know the difference between a trick and a date?
LOL. Guys bad in bed do that. They pretend it was amazing sex and tell you, “Oh you are the best I’ve had.” So you look like the jerk for saying, “There are seniors who have better sex than we just had.” That’s why he does it. In fact, why man men do that. Don’t feel bad. You were too good for him anyway.
Here’s grounds for “warming up the catapult” and saying flat out “NO” to a second date. Lying! Oh crap! I hate guys who are obviously lying and think you are too dumb to notice. For example. One date I went on he told me, “Oh I’m an honest caring guy. I’m about 35 and work out and do yoga.” I said, “Great why don’t we do a yoga class together?” He says, “Fun! Then we can go for dinner afterwards.” Here’s what showed up. A guy who was about 45 and 350lbs all the way around. I said to myself,… Read more »
The real reason to refuse a second date: made-up, obviously bullshit stories like this one. If anyone believes this, I have a bridge to sell you.
You are either making this up or just plain stupid. You knew the minute you saw him there would be no second date. You took a 350lb man to a yoga class on a first date after he lied to you, and expected it to go well? What happened is all on you. Not calling him out for the obesity didn’t do him or anyone else a favor. As for not dating for 3 months because of this? B.S. You had no problem going back to that yoga class after getting in an argument & running out like a 12… Read more »
Each one of us have expectation of other people we are dating, of course we all have alternative reasoning, but what it might be. The person should be approachable, lovable, intelligent, unless you are looking for a fast and furious fuck, someone we could live with if it ever got that far. For me, I’m a very touchie person, anyone not liking to be touched after meeting, no longer fits what I’m looking for, after all, this could end up being a partner, I don’t want that. Use a bit of imagination to pick a date, have fun first then… Read more »
So if your date doesn’t like to be groped and violated, that’s where you draw the line? You sound like a possible rapist in disguise.
Wanting a partner that likes to be touched a lot doesn’t make one a rapist. In fact, not going on another date is the opposite of rape.
Drug abuse or Alcohol abuse, Poor personal Hygiene .
bad teeth, A smoker
I don’t know if this counts, but sometimes you just “know” this person is more in the “friends” category than “dating” category. Doesn’t mean anything actually happened…..just the “chemistry/vibe” is telling you what path this should go.