(Photo Credits: cottonbro from Pexels)
There’s a really popular thread on Reddit wherein the original poster (OP) asked, “Is pretty privilege real and does it exist within the gay community?” He then added, “If so, how? (I don’t have a point to make or anything I’m just curious about everyone’s opinions!)
One of his readers replied, and we quote, “It exists everywhere, not just with gays. If you’re attractive, you’ll seem more charming, funny, and intelligent. I’m pretty sure this is a studied phenomenon and I’ve felt it myself.”
Meanwhile, another shared how he copes when he encounter people who seem “too perfect.” He said, “My insecure ass has this funny thought that nobody’s perfect.” Further, he shared, “So when I usually see strangers that seem too perfect, I just say in my head, ‘he probably has bad breath’ or something to make myself feel better.”
To which another guy responded, “I think there’s a more general tendency to assume hot guys are stupid. Being muscular or rugged is usually associated by our culture with lower intelligence. Not just by you.”
Anyway, according to Psychology Today, research has found that “good looking people enjoy a range of preferential treatments in life.” But what are these advantages? It is said that job hunting is easier for good looking people; they even get higher salaries, among many others.
Studies also found, however, that there are also some downsides. For example, while they are often popular and well-liked by the opposite sex, they could be on the receiving end of “envy-related hostility.” This means that because of envy, good looking people “get socially excluded or bullied by those of the same sex than their less attractive counterparts.”
Moreover, there are “negative first impressions” associated with good looking people. They
“often give off the initial impression of being self-centered, entitled, incompetent, and promiscuous.” Read the article in full here.
All that being said, how true is the study for you and do you think pretty privilege exists in the LGBTQ community as well? Please don’t forget to comment below!
We leave you this video discussing pretty privilege:
It’s very real, from whether or not a guy gets served at a bar, or whether or not a decent guy gets treated fairly, if he *isn’t* considered “pretty.” It happens in all walks of life, but the gay community is remarkably shallow in comparison to the rest of the world. The worst scenario is when good looks are assumed to be more important than honesty or other virtues, which gives those considered the most attractive a deeply unfair advantage over better human beings.
Oh, yeah, is that even a question? Of course, in every facet of life. They actually told us that in high school (77-79′), I believe it was “Social Studies.”
When “Pretty” is ascribed to a male, the inference is “Girly-Like.” It is a inverted compliment as someone is making a dismissal of inherent masculinity and the inference and connotation of Pretty=Gay comes into play? Generally, pretty and masculine are oxymoronic just as handsome and feminine are oxymoronic and a female ascribed as “Handsome” by anyone else is an inverted compliment and someone is making a dismissal of inherent femininity and the inference and connotation of Handsome=Lesbian comes into play? One might concluded that ascribing Pretty to a male and likewise ascribing Handsome to a female is a “Politically Correct”… Read more »
What you are saying is true…but only if you want it to be! The term “pretty boy” has been around for decades and used to describe Robert Redford and exceptionally beautiful men! The idea that pretty is the absence of masculinity is some seriously old school, out dated homophobia which you seem to buy into. If calling a man pretty equals calling him gay I fail to see why that should be insulting! I AM GAY!!! I’m also a pretty motherf**ker!!! Neither one of those things can make me feel insulted!!! Especially when I respond by pointing out that I… Read more »
What I pointed out was Cultural…even if diminished today?
The connotation still remains…if subconsciously? Leonardo DiCaprio was ascribed as a “Pretty Boy” and he was but no longer is.
ANd, the smarter than routine is just as antiquated a mindset as you referred me to have.
Pretty ugly is an oxymoron!!! Thinking that a man can’t be pretty and masculine is just moronic! Ditto the idea that a lesbian would automatically be offended by the suggestion that she wasn’t feminine!!! You seem to be heavily invested in the roles that heteros have limited themselves to and think that the rest of us give 2 fugs what they think about anything let alone who we personally to be! Pretty is a relative term used to describe desirable attractiveness, which surely you have noticed does not apply to someone just because they are female??? No???
Calm down, for Christ’s sake!
This is a blog not a Catechism. I simply commented on the article not on the validity of Mankind!
Of course it is.
Of course there is a “pretty privilege.” People follow the fastest satisfaction they can get. “Buyers Remorse” often settles in shortly after when they open the “pretty” package and have to deal with what was in it. Maybe they should have taken some time and looked a little bit deeper.
“Can’t judge a book by its cover” Yeah, right.
In the words of the immortal Alexander Pope:
“Charms strike the sight
But merit wins the soul”
Yeah. Because that guy up in the club you’re trying to take home definitely has the intellectual heft and wit of Alexander Pope.
Alexander Pope and his infamous Couplets!
An “Enfant Terrible.”
I think we all know pretty privilege is real. If you don’t think it is, you’re almost certainly an unwitting recipient of it and need to pay more attention to how people treat you versus the other people around you.
I remember watching something to that effect on tv. The scenario was set up where two women pretend to have flat tires stranded on the same highway. They were trying to flag down motorists to stop and help them. More people stopped to help the pretty woman as opposed to the not so pretty woman. I personally don’t agree with it, but that’s the way it is. Unfortunately amongst African-Americans, light-skinned babies are considered prettier than dark-skin babies.
Quotes From Member’s Profiles: “You Must Be Between The Ages Of (this age/that age) “Must Be In-Shape”, “Not Into Thick/ Over weight”, “Must Be Muscular” ‘Must Be Athletic”, ‘Be Skinny, Fit”, Etc…. So Yeah, Pretty Privilege Is Pretty Much Real And Practiced Religiously.
Does this even need a discussion? Who doesn’t know that people who are physically beautiful get all kinds of preferential treatment? The biggest downside however is buying into the idea that because I look like I look people will tolerate me being an a**hole so I’ll behave like an a**hole!!! Using your “gift” in this way shows that you think being an ass is good and desirable! It isn’t! My father used to say “Being the biggest a**hole is not a distinction you should want for yourself”! I agree! But if it’s one of the few things you excel at…go… Read more »
My last relationship was with a man that was a perfect example of Pretty Privilege. He was probably the best looking man I’ve ever been with. Handsome. Great body, muscular and a huge dick. He was absolutely perfect, on the outside. But on the inside he was a terrible, rotten human being. He was a liar, a thief, a user, a manipulator, and a mean abusive bully. After we broke up, I started meeting so many people that new him and all of them had story to tell me about him. All their stories had one thing in common, he… Read more »
His “pretty” will fade and all he will be left with is “a terrible, rotten human being. A liar, a thief, a user, a manipulator, and a mean abusive bully.”
It is until he’s trashed and has overstayed his welcome?
It very much exists, in the gay culture its particularly bad. You had better fit into a narrow framework or your not acceptable.
I had a 37-year career in print advertising. This also included hiring models, both male and female, from children to senior citizens. Yes, make no mistake, being pretty, as a woman of course, is an advantage, but it’s also an advantage for men, gay or straight. These men might not be considered “ruggedly handsome,” but they still have no problem catching the eye of interested people. As far as good-looking people being dismissed as being not very smart or self-centered, yes, that exists, just as it exists with everyday, average- to below-average looking people. Still, very attractive people have no… Read more »
I have had the very best boy friends and husbands, because of my looks and smarts. You need both to have a good life. I was never the hottest guy in the room, but in the top 10%. The hottest boy on Polk street (way prettier than me) in San Francisco, while he was still hot and coherent, had some money and a good life, but ended up a brain dead zombie in a nasty SRO dead of an overdose. I however, just got back from a first class trip to Thailand, the Hyatt Regency luxury resort in Koh Samui… Read more »
It is definitely real. I don’t have much self-confidence in my looks, and the pictures I take of myself prove it. Yet I have been told when everything looks right (hair, clothes, etc) that I have a figure that can stop traffic. (Yes this has actually happened once, and it was very embarrassing). At one job, I had multiple female staffers (and a female manager) make constant comments about me being “hot pants”. The manager said, “I had to do my hair to keep up with you”. When the harassment didn’t quit I went to another job. My male co-worker… Read more »
Who uses this term? Nobody I know of. There’s definitely WHITE privilege with gays, more prevalent than ever before.
Whoever asked this question is most obviously a “young gay”. I say that because if they had been around for a while they would already know “pretty privilege” is more prevailing in the gay world than most any other social group. We called it “pretentious” back in the 80’s and 90’s but it’s the same shit today. As inclusive and accepting of “all” as the gay world pretends to be, once “in the club” oh the pressure is on and the “gay class system” goes into effect immediately. Anyone who kids themselves to say “pretty” isn’t glamorized in the gay… Read more »
Folks wrapped up in thier own “prettiness” are those that feel that the common man doesn’t matter in the grand scheme. I’ll take an average hard workin man over a pretty (insert current term here) any day. It’s been my experience that the “pretty” ones are those best avoided.
Yes; I’m often perceived as a pretty boy; More rugged and a country boy type based on my preferences — the part you mention is that other treat you with a Ill attitude before getting to know; it’s not easy being pretty;
This applies everywhere in life, not just the gay community. “Pretty” people don’t have to try most of the time to be liked, find friends, find dates and partners, and the door seems to magically open from an opportunity perspective (career, etc). Everyone flirts and smiles at them. Ironically, because of this ease, these people more often than not develop less than stellar interpersonal skills and often end up a bit self centered in life. I’ll take an average looking man who’s had the contrast of working to look good and make that effort for opportunities in life because it… Read more »
Channel surf during the evening news, how many stereotypically unattractive people do you see talking back to you?