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Sexuality : How Much is Too Much Sex?

(Photo Credits: Vickson Santos from Pexels)

How often do you have sex in a week or in a month, guys? And is it possible for us to have too much of it? Would you say having sex every day is “too much” while once a week is “normal?” 

Well, experts say there is no exact number as to how much is “normal” or “too much” when it comes to desiring or wanting to have sex and actually doing the deed. According to sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., it all boils down to quality over quantity which means that whether you are having sex once a day or once a week, as long as both parties found it enjoyable, then that is fine. Indeed, it does make sense, for what is the use of having sex everyday if you do not find it pleasurable or if sex, for you, had already become a chore? Because isn’t it the reason why we have sex—to feel pleasure or because we find the other guy attractive?

In any case, having sex is good for our health. Studies show that sex is good for our heart, it reduces depression and anxiety, and it lowers the risk for prostate cancer to name a few.          

All that being said, what about you, guys, how often do you have sex in a week and how much do you think is too much for you? Also, why do you have sex? It’s like asking why do we eat really; but please, do humor us by sharing with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below and don’t forget to answer our survey while you are at it. Now get on Adam4Adam and have fun, if you didn’t, download the app yet, click here!


There are 34 comments

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  1. Nathan

    Nathan writes:
    Sex is not a schedule or on schedule! If it is, it is routine and therefore, reduced to a task!

    Sex should be mutually desired and that should be when it manifests itself…naturally.

    Sex isn’t just physical; it is, also, emotional and both should be considered…equally and granted when both are in sync.

    • goodbott

      Hungry bottom here. I’m at my happiest and most content when I’m doing it 3-4 times per week. But, there are those occasional 4-6 week lulls that, while not completely miserable, are certainly not fun.

  2. Wesley

    Funny that this topic came up. I was recently chatting with a guy I met on here. We decided to exchange emails. The conversation was broad in topics. We, literally had exchanged 72 emails, when he asked me how often I have sex. I told him, “Not often. About once a month.” His response was, “That, actually is quite a lot.” I thought he was joking, so I wrote “Haha”. He then said, “We are obviously not on the same page. Good luck.” We never chatted again. Once a month is a lot??? Seriously?

    • Nathan

      Wesley:

      DO not take that dismissal as offensive; instead, take it for what is actually is:

      A4A is a sex-site not a dating site. Contrary to was is proselytized, the overwhelming members are looking for sex not dates.

      There are exceptions, of course, but the norm is hunting and gathering. It is the pursuit not the game that fans most of us.

      Cruising is innate and it is both contiguous and continuous; hence, the 72 emails…all prime examples of working up to the victory…not the trophy!

      It’s all part and parcel of the game and the skills of the hunter.

    • TiredOfIt

      Yes…seriously! Ever since the pandemic, the “free love” era and mores are OVER. Twice a year’s about it for me anymore..of course, I’m gayncient, so there’s always that!

    • Dennis

      Same here Darrell. I masturbate about everyday and sometimes twice. Seldom do I meet anyone. I do have a friend I get with 2 to 3 times a year.

  3. Mark

    Because I’m not out and don’t have a regular place to host, I don’t have it as often as I’d like. If I did have a place to host, I would have sex 4-5 days a week. Under perfect conditions, I’d have it several times a day.

  4. Tom

    I have heterosexual sex several times a month and I masturbate a couple times a week, sometimes a couple times in a day. I would like to find ONE guy to have sex with a couple times a month. My profile: BiLust

  5. M

    I should be so lucky as to feel I was having “too much”, or even remotely consider the wildly unlikely possibility!

  6. VinSanity007

    Sex should never be a chore it should be fun and pleasurable especially with one u say you love. But casual sex is all about busting the nutt and feeling good in that moment. If I could have sexy daily I would.

  7. insatible sex drive

    too much sex?, I don’t think so, as long as it consensual and not interfering with your life or someone else’s. As long as you are a functional adult having sex with other adults capable of consent, sex is good.

  8. Walter

    I think it depends on the people involved. For instance me & my husband have sex a few times a week and other times we have sex a few times a day during the week. I don’t think theres an exact number that says its too much or too less, but I will say that if you are starting to feel dirty or down about it, you may be having too much sex.. From what I learned & research a many should ejaculate atleast 200 times a year to prevent prostate cancer but I’m not taking into account if they added masturbation to that.. Again it depends on the people involved.

  9. jaeger83

    I meet a guy at least once a week, not necessarily for anal, but I get naked and I end up busting a nut in some orifice, his hands, my hands or even just rubbing together. I’d do it every day if I could.

  10. Jer

    Too much SEX ? ……only if one or the other or both think its too much……or its hurting ….physically or otherwise…….but otherwise .there is nothing wrong with having alot of sex with a bf or hubby…… now……i have to say….random hookup sex is EWWW and highly risky……not knowing whos dick has been in you or where youve put your dick……but most gay men in general make sex dirty for some reason and its why theres STDS like no other plus HIV is and has ran rampant for decades becuz of gay men getting around……but as far as a lot of sex……as long as youre both comfortable and safe and no one is gettin hurt in any manner……then …..do it as much as possible for the pleasure …and love of that other boy you are with……its a way to connect and show your care and love for them…….not like random hookup sex ……thats like usin a public restroom……

  11. JaggedEdge23

    Well Honey when I needs me some Dick, I get me some Dick. I love dick when its touching my booty. I get so wett. If there is no limit to how wett you get down there then there should be no limit to how many times you have sex. You have to get it in baby. I have had sex with over 120 mens honey and honey every man makes a different sound when he nutts. I love to hear how they sound when they cum. I don’t like a MUTE CUMMER. Im getting hott and wett writing this. I need it all the time. Im a nympho and neurotic. Give it to me baby. Whats your number honey. lol

  12. Lamar

    If, masturbation ‘is’ considered sex, then just about always once a day and frequently twice a day. Very rarely with someone, its crazy risky out here. My town is like a college-town where guys are the college properties; had and trashed, everyone’s been in & out of ’em, lmao.

  13. TiredOfIt

    Up until ’79, it was daily or more. After 1979, it quickly became none for a long, long time. Now I’m gayncient and matronly, so twice a year’s about as good as it gets. At least I’m still here and healthy, while almost all my friends from back then are dead and gone, and the few AZT era survivors are now dropping like flies. Was it horrible? Millennials will NEVER understand the horrors we lived through…and the lessons we learned are now falling on deaf ears.

    Sometimes, thinking with the BIG head first is the smart play.

    • Lamar

      Tip jar for you! Yeah, I still remember, weather it was in my hometown in the 80’s or NYC, 90’s “all my friends are long gone”, secondly “they don’t understand, those horrors” ’cause they never experienced/witnessed it… Mamma always said, “don’t let your dick rule your head.”

      If it’s not some form of masturbation/frottage, “forgetaboutit” ’cause guys are just using each other anyway, mostly.

  14. Tom

    I have heterosexual sex several times a month. I masturbate several times a week and sometimes several times a day. I had a bi male friend and we would play several times a month. Unfortunately he moved. I am looking for a new bi male for strictly a sexual relationship. My profile on A4A is: BiLust.

  15. Ben

    I love sex, the connection, chemistry, the emotional vulnerability, the pleasure and exploration of each others body. With that said, it is quality over quantity. If I have shitty sex, I’m gonna still crave it until the desire is met. I have a strong libido and can be sexually satisfied everyday but I am able to restrain myself when need be. I can’t wait until I met someone I can connect with on an emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and physical level because while sex is great our sex will be on another level.

  16. Beaver

    I’m less concerned with how much sex is too much than I am with how little is too little. After all, which is the more likely for most of us?

  17. Jay

    I think sex changes as we get older. Life happens and that is what I think affects performance. Last night I reconnected with a birdie I met when I was 25. He was 18 and never been to a major metro so I introduced him to Atlanta. He was maybe 105lbs but big personality and packing. I told him he was demanding back then and he didn’t remember how he was pokey for sex in the shower, car rides, middle of the night, or whenever it hit him. As far as physically, I put on my 30s dad bod and he basically filled out his frame to 160 and looks healthy. I’m amazed the attraction remains and sparks flew. So damn the reality eye you develop in your 30s because you see things like he’s 31, but returned home to his mom and the small town programming has his inner conflicted. He’s a bearded truck driver now which is different from his 18 year old self. He was flamboyant and fierce but has done a 180 now. He’s even on the gay bashing and anti gay causes lane with heavy fox news crowd ideas on LGBT life. He was down to do secluded road sex but I said we’re in our 30s and it’s odd to be sneaking around like that. So see guys it’s our minds and reasoning that affects our encounters or sex lives.


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