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Survey: How Often Do You Have Sex?

(Photo Credits: Wokandapix from Pixabay)

Hey, guys! How many times have you had sex this week? 

We are asking because a recent study conducted by the General Social Survey shows that more and more adult Americans are not having sex these days. To be exact, almost 40% said they didn’t have sex that week and around 37% said they didn’t have sex that month, while 1 in 4 or 23% of the male research participants revealed that they hadn’t had sex at all during the entire 2018. 

The number is higher for men ages 18-30 at 28% but the sex drought is even higher for males who are 60 years old and up—according to the same study as cited by The Washington Post—which is around 50 percent. 

The results of the study came as a surprise to many people considering today’s hookup culture. But how did couples fare?

A separate study said that in the first two years of the relationship, almost 70% of gay couples have sex three times or more a week while it is “50 percent for straight couples and about 33 percent for lesbian couples.” But the number dwindles the longer couples stay together. In fact, only 10% of gay couples who have been together for over 10 years have sex three times a week while it is “under 20% for heterosexual couples” and “about 1 percent for lesbians.” According to this article, the “statistics were gathered from various studies that took place from the late 1990s through 2011.”  

How true is the result for you, guys, and where are you from? More importantly, how often do you have sex weekly, monthly? Share with us your numbers and stories below!


There are 49 comments

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  1. Evan S Eudy

    I don’t remember the last time I had sex…and TBH, I don’t even remember the last time I masturbated…I wake up with a huge boner every morning..Sometimes, so hard I can’t pee until “he” calms down…and I’m always horny..I throw a bone in a heartbeat…But sex, just doesn’t seem that important..I just turned 60 and maybe that’s why, but I lived through friends dying, fucking my brains out, masturbating 4-5 times a day and still could but I’m like Dave..I’d rather have the connection now first…the teasing..wondering..play..then I think the sex would be awesome..However, I do still play on the sites, talk to guys (talk a lot of#[email protected]) but nothing ever seems to come of it..Maybe not the best place to find guys?…

    • Ted

      You know, I think it is a thing that is happening to all of us that are getting older. I as soon have sex once in a while as all the time,but I want my guy around to share life with. As i am finding out a lot the time sitting and doing the romance thing with kissing it better a lot of the time then the act of sex it’s self. Know that person is there for you and there is a true feeling of love and not lust. Knowing i have someone to share life with not just my body parts.
      Now don’t get me wrong there is times I want sex, hot ,mess, sweaty sex where both of us are dripping wet as if we just got done running a 5k. Yet is not something that HAS to happen all the time. I am finding sitting together and watching a movie and one or the other laying are head in the others lap and at times leaning down and kissing that person and knowing they are there for you same as you are for them. Can be a hot and sexy as the act of doing it. That one thing I am grateful for he is great at kissing that long hot wet kiss that makes you feel as if your whole body is on fire. The truly funny thing is we been together at this point 9 yrs in Oct. and we both act and feel the same as the first time we meet. Love beats sex every time guy.

  2. Tim

    I’d say at least half of my gay friends jack off / dildo themselves a LOT, so much that I don’t think that even want sex. That said, the ones who are fucking are getting some good several times a week. More if they’re all n a relationship

  3. ChubbyJay

    60`s Ole ChubbyBear from Brazil.
    Once a week, mostly @ sauna.
    After 4 strokes, times get hard 2 fuck + often…
    Like some1 says once:
    “So many Chubbies, so lil time !”
    :-O

  4. Rick

    I’ve been with my wife for 16 years and it used to be 2-3x per day (no lie) for the first 2-3 years. Now I’m lucky if I get it once every 3 months! When she’s out of town and I can play, I tend to have sex almost every night – with usually the same guy. No matter the orientation, frequency of sex goes down as the time in relationship increases.

    • Rick

      I forgot to mention that my drive is high and I will masturbate at least once a day – often playing with anal toys – when I’m not having sex with someone.

  5. Hunter0500

    Sometimes it’s once in one to three weeks. Sometimes it’s five times in a week. Just depends on how my buds’ and my schedules line up. I don’t count. Happy whenever it happens.

  6. Rick

    I have regular tops I meet with once a week, it did use to be at least 5 dif guys a week but I don’t have time anymore.

  7. Will

    Now in mid 70s, gay partnered for 30 yrs, married for 4 yrs., and no sex for over 14 yrs…. Intimacy still there however…

  8. RL

    Years ago, I would have sex at least twice a month, and a few times twice in a day. In more recent years, job and other commitments, as well as connection desires, dropped it to a few times a year. Health and commitments have me sexless for over 3 years. I admit part of that was getting strung along by someone I was holding out for.
    I agree with Dave. I always liked to feel some connection, so my best sex was people who had declined to get with me, became friends, but suddenly surprised me with a request. Next best was bi friends who truly enjoyed our repeat meets.
    I don’t feel frantic, but I do miss getting an occasional with a friend. I was surprised when a younger straight friend told me he had been like 3 years since real sex. Maybe it’s just the stressful years of late. The world is uptight, or at least, the country. Also, I try to dodge heavy drug users, as they can be so unpredictable, and there’s a lot of it out there (I don’t count grass, that makes people calmer).
    Do similar things interfere with your action?

  9. Greg

    “Hey, guys! How many times have you had sex this week?”

    This type of question is exactly why people are ashamed of their sexuality. How many times SHOULD someone have sex in a week? Is there a magic number?

    What about people who don’t have a partner, don’t have time, are disabled, are not physically attractive, are following religious guidelines, are waiting for the “right one,” live with family, are not comfortable with their sexual orientation, don’t have the means, are HIV positive, don’t have the space, are older, or don’t have the inclination? The question implies that everyone should be having sex multiple times a week, and if they aren’t, then something is wrong with them.

    Who benefits from perpetuating the hypersexual gay stereotype?

    • Dave

      Greg, not at all, I even said that last time I had sex was 6 months ago…
      The question was to ask how many times a4a guys have sex, nothing more, nothing less. I also wrote this piece because I received an email from a guy saying he rarely had sex and thinking he was “too ugly” to have regular sex. I don’t consider myself ugly (even though I’m crazy hehe) and I very rarely have sex. It all depends on chemistry for me. So I wanted him to see other responses to show him that it was normal not to have sex every day, as other guys here. It is also normal to have sex all the time if that’s what you like…

    • bjjj

      Well, first off I’m an older guy and it’s hard to find guys that want to have sex with me. But I love having sex, cumming and getting off. Usually I can get off once or twice a week, either watching porn or once in a while with a hookup either at an ABS or meet up somewhere.

  10. Sam

    I do have weekend sex. I do belong to a private home sex club in the tropical mountains in Puerto Rico. Awesome people, awesome place.

  11. mercedes00

    I’m turning 65 & have sex @ least 5 days a week & most days multiple times. Orgasms are down tho to about 60 per cent. Sometimes just need a break to rejuvenate. Think I’ve had a lot more sex since age 40. Oh, I do enjoy different positions & bottom isn’t easier! Doesn’t matter where either. I’m just horny too!

  12. Lamar

    For ‘many’ of the aforementioned reasons; I have “sex” with me always once a day, sometimes though, during new/full moons seems to really stir me up, so I can do it 2-3 times a day.

    I’d love to be involved, physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally; enough to actually be making love “with/to” someone whom is like no one else/and visa-versa. What could be more wholesome and healthy than that, to have such a connection with each other, these days especially, when guys are “doin’ it” just to have another warm body.

    I think it’s really scary, the mindlessness; what it takes to be able to just carry-out the psychological abandonment to get get-with just anyone one that will do based
    on looks alone.

    The way these hook-ups are goin’ down, it really just equates to masturbation anyway; its only and purely physical, regardless of the ‘character’ of that person/s they are hooking-up with.

    I just simply, elevated myself above it and beyond it, decades ago, it’s about Lamar Pride= my Gay Pride and respect, all year around for life. That’s not to say, that there’s never an encounter where we’re not intimate, share-give and receive some truly meant affection. I’m responsible, for me.

    • Hunter0500

      “For ‘many’ of the aforementioned reasons; I have “sex” with me always once a day, sometimes though, during new/full moons seems to really stir me up, so I can do it 2-3 times a day.”

      Whenever a bud and I have made a date a couple/few days out, I’ll be ” hands off” until then. Sometimes it’s tough to hang on, but man so so so worth it when he gets his reward! Figure it’s the least I can do for him!

    • DEAN ANDERSON

      The question was basic…How many times??? It seems like you took all of your personal issue/feelings about sex and projected them onto everyone else. The beginning of your 2nd paragraph seems to strongly indicate that you are looking to be in love with someone before having sex. But the idea that if others of us are not looking to be “in love” there is something inherently wrong with us! And “psychological abandonment”!!!??? If that’s what you have to do to have sex if you are not in love…in all seriousness you should talk to a professional about that! But if that was your way of trying to sound like your feeling was based on some deeper understanding of psychology and you were talking about other gay men who you think are disconnected from themselves and their sex partners because it’s not “wholesome & healthy”??? First of all, being 59 myself, zi cant even recall the last time I heard the term wholesome used!!! It might have ben in the 70’s and in reference to teenagers because they were far from adulthood and anything sexual!!! AS IF!!! Your outdated terminology indicates very old fashioned, judgmental and shame based idealogy about sex that is the antithesis of healthy! And where as you are perfectly correct in coosing what is right for yourself, that you have the audacity to make such negative declrations as “equates to masturbation” (which does not seem at all negative when you describe doing it 2-3 times a day)AT ALL “only physical” and “regardless of character” about other peoples sexual encounters, which I assume you are/were not present for is some of the MOST homosexuality is an abomination, comdenation of gay men’s sex lives, and overall moral character! Or should I say lack thereof???!!! If you think judging other people to be on some subpar/human level beneath you because you have internalized homophobiia and are projecting self hatred onto people you dont know and are in NO position to judge, that you have “elevated above and beyond” is so delusional!!! Unless of course your real name is Jesus and “Lamar is the name you use when “you have one of thosr encounters…”, which apparently at all so vile, abhorrent and scary when you have them!!! I hope you can realize that your feelings about being a sexually active gay man is something you are not comfortable with, let alone in a place of being able to enjoy/share as the wonderfully amazing, sharing, caring, healing, transformative experience it is meant to be!!! You owe yourself and deserve as well as those you want and deserve to have the madly, deeply, completely “in love” experience!!!

  13. G

    At 53 I have sex with a guy almost every night, have a great group of guys I know and they love to come over to my place and play. I ware most men out, I can go at it for hours and cum multiple times over an evening. Rediscovering 420 was a major part of it. You really have to make an effort to set up a sexy scene, low lights, great music, wine/cocktails and a puff, the party begins!

    • Lamar

      Ooh, baby, yes! My kinda man, I ejaculate multiple times, rest awhile, while puffing, then do it again, kissing each other madly, oh, yeah! Who needs a blue-pill, just puff some.

  14. JC

    Just to clear the air here,

    The data presented here is more reflective of how difficult it can be to meet up for sex with total strangers online alone. You see a drop in the line graph above at 2008 around the time when the Grindr app was made public. It’s not just about how often you have sex, it’s also about how people interact with each other in a digital world, where everyone is even more self-conscious due to trading pics, instagram, etc.

    What it does not show is demographics. Who’s to say? The people getting laid could be just easy and have no standards? I have not had sex in the past 5 months, but I get messages (daily) from several guys I’m not interested in (and I’m not in a relationship). Does that mean I am not attractive? Or am I just not getting enough sex because of my own choice? Should I have sex with guys I’m not attracted to, just so I can compete with the anonymous? I know what I like and when it does happen, it’s with a guy I am attracted to more or less. Most guys do have standards, and will only give the other guy the time of day if they meet those standards. What I personally can’t stand are the gays who brag about how often they have or when they have sex. How often you have sex says absolutely zero about the various types of guys and attraction.

  15. LatinBttmdaddy

    I have sex three or more times a week. I’m surprised at the statistics that report how little sex men are having in general. It seems that many men collapse emotional expectations and the healthy release that sex provides. And look down on “having sex,” as some sort of compartmentalization, preferring abstinence instead . Those who are on a journey of discovery about themselves and their needs and expectations may need time to develop the self awareness and maturity to share themselves, relish in the experience and grounded enough to be thankful of the bounty that is life and sex.

  16. Mark

    Depends on how you define sex. If you include masturbation then twice a week for me. With another person been over two years. Divorced from a straight marriage where there was no sex the last 5 years to single now and gay but work, conservative area I live in leads to no sex for long periods of time if not years.

  17. David

    I find that gay apps and the internet make having sex more difficult due to the mind games. The bars have become snobby where I live. That has decreased the number of times I have sex. I don’t want to deal with it. I think it’s much hotter to see what a guy is packing by finding out in person and not through a dozen pics and then a scripted sexual encounter. I still have sex but would be having more if we saw each other, gave that look, knew and then went about it in person. I hate being checklisted by some dude with whom I hold no interest. It’s irritating.

  18. GnRSM

    It’s been far too long since I last enjoy the pleasure of another person company sexually.
    Or to paraphrase GTOWNBOTTOM “How Often Does Haley’s Comet Come Around? every 76 years
    🙁

  19. sexfreakartist

    I’m 48 bisexual 75/25=female/male attracted
    the first 40 years of my life I mainly had sex with women like 98% of the time and only did male on male when I was extremely horny and couldn’t find a willing woman. I averaged having sex about 4 days a week if I was single and 5-6 days if I had a girlfriend.

    when I turned 40 I found myself suddenly bored of women because I had done everything I could think of that was legal with them multiple times. so I decided to explore my interest in men more and said I will try it all top, bottom, side and perpendicular if that’s an option. for me bottoming was something that when I wasn’t doing it all I could thing of is how badly I wanted to do it. then as soon as it would start I would be like oowww!!! what the hell was I thinking? I can’t wait till this is over i’ll never do it again. then as soon as it was over I would say man I can’t wait till I can do that again it was awesome.

    then one day while I was bottoming it went from feeling gross and like bad decision making to feeling 1,000 times better than anything I had ever felt before and kept getting better and better to the point that 5 years ago I started only having sex with men as a bottom. and up until 2 weeks ago was having sex multiple times a day and sometimes with multiple different men.

    but the hook up culture kind of ruined everything which is why I had so many different men. because the tops I would meet don’t want to have sex with the same person twice because with all the different sites and men it is like pokemon and they want to get them all. which is why 2 weeks ago I realized that I ran out of tops on the apps I use and am now trying to find a good one.

  20. sexfreakartist

    well I tried to comment but so far have wrote my story twice and sent it but nothing happens so who knows maybe it didn’t work or maybe now there are two similar stories up with one long one and one not as long

  21. Rick

    I don’t have it enough, the labels turn me off I like to many things to have a label or there’s no connection chemistry.

  22. Yearnburn

    I’m 66. He’s 71. Together 40 years. Married for 9. Sex stopped between us when he turned 40. He had a brief affair with a much younger guy when in his 50’s. Never truly confessed til years later when a letter he had sent him was returned and I had gotten the mail that day. I only said, ‘is he the reason you came back from Portland acting so weird?’ I knew. But I never felt jealous. He was, still is, good looking. I was no dog. But I couldn’t hold a candle to him. Fortunately I was a massage therapist. Lots of opportunity came my way. I never suffered or went without sex. Currently I see 3 different men. Two are married to women. The third lives with a man. The third is older and has ED issues-little dick never gets hard. Is not particularly attractive, no gym body, great kisser, a nice guy. The relationship is about him getting me off. We’ve discussed it. The one sidedness. A definite pattern to our get togethers. I’m the focus. ‘If it aint broke, don’t fix it!’ I see the other two every two weeks or so. One is really great looking, purdy cock, eager, but somewhat reticent. I think he’s still working out the mansex/married woman thing. I no longer masturbate. Who needs to when three guys are knocking at the door.


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