(Photo Credits: PedroMatos from Shutterstock)
Does age matter to you, or is it the lie that is the issue?
What if your date looks incredible but later admits they’re ten years older than their profile said? Is it a harmless white lie or a massive red flag? A recent online debate tackled why men shave years off their dating profiles when a gay man online asked, “Why do men lie about their age?”
He went on to share that he met someone who claimed to be several years younger than he actually was. Based on the profile photos, he already suspected the man’s listed age wasn’t accurate. When they met in person, the difference became even more obvious. Afterward, he discovered through online search that the man was actually older than he had claimed. He said that the experience wasn’t upsetting because of the age itself—it was the dishonesty. He said he’d happily dated older men before but felt misled by someone who intentionally lied about his age.
One reader walking away instead of going through with an uncomfortable date: “Next time, boot him out. Just say ‘Not feeling it,’ or else he’ll think he can continue to do that to people. I’ve done it before.”
Others, on the other hand, argued that age is only one of many details people exaggerate or invent. “Guys will lie about EVERYTHING!!! He added, “They will lie about dick size, sexual roles, height, recent sexual activity… age is just the tip of the iceberg. Assume anything a random guy tells you is just fictitious presentation.”
In addition, some commenters suggested that the issue isn’t always intentional deception but self-perception. “Most guys think they look younger than they really are. Most are wrong.”
Further, another guy highlighted the pressure many gay men or men in general feel about getting older. “Men act like their dicks will fall off if they get with anybody over 39.”
Of course, some believe the motivation is simple. One guy pointed out, “To get laid. They think people will not refuse once you meet in person.”
Meanwhile, others looked at the bigger picture, arguing that society’s obsession with youth encourages people to shave a few years off their age. “Because we live in a society that condemns getting old and puts youth on a pedestal.
Lastly, not everyone thought lying about age was completely black and white. One commenter admitted to doing it because they believe people unfairly judge them based on a number. “I look young for my age; people constantly guess I’m 10, sometimes 15 years younger than I am. I look like my pics, or TBH better in person. When I tell people my real age, I get blocked… so yeah, I lie about my age. Never once, though, have I been called out in person, so I think for me at least it’s justified.”
Having said all that, while some pass it off as harmless insecurity, most agreed on one thing: the age gap usually isn’t the dealbreaker—starting with a lie is.
But what about you, Adam4Adam blog readers? What do you think? Have you ever met someone who wasn’t honest about their age? Is lying about their age on the Adam4Adam app a dealbreaker for you, or is it harmless if the person still looks like their photos? Would you rather someone be completely honest from the start, even if it means getting fewer messages? Share your thoughts and stories in the comments section below.
Someone in an online short said that in Gay life, if you aren’t good looking, it will be very lonely. I’m not sure about that. But I think all guys should think twice about beards. Everybody else is doing it doesn’t mean it looks good on you. In most cases, it adds years to your look.
I personally love the look of a masculine man with a full neatly kept beard. I agree though that beards are not a good look on some guys. But a bearded guy always gets a second look from me.
Not sure who you’re fucking, but the boys I breed (who are half my age) love my beard. Have you done a poll? I’d imagine you’re very much in the minority here.
I’m an older person who discovered men later in life. My only request is that anyone I meet be truthful and of legal age. Preferably 21 or older.
Ooohh!!…. is that ever another truth to consider too. It does go the other way around too, for another reason (the desire to be taken up on) but with risk of possible legal consequences if it were to ever get out or you being discovered with them! And the “jail bait” trick is still done sometimes, you never know! I work retail and sometimes especially on weekends “decoy shoppers” of real under-agers are sent in to try to buy beer, testing our frontend personal if they dare sell it to them. so you see?
As a married (to a woman) closet bottom, I Prefer older tops 50-60. Now I’m not saying I won’t take a younger top either, But older tops tend to know what they want and they don’t run their mouth, your business are usually kept between the two of you, most have their own place , because they are mostly done with women, so that’s good because I sometimes just like to be naked and comfortable,
I just turned 44. I still hook up with young boys (as young as 18) all the time. But as far as DATING goes? I’m already partnered, but I couldn’t see myself with someone much younger than 32-35 years old. The places we’re at in life would just be too different in most cases, though I guess there are exceptions to be made for everything.
Yes. Age matters to me. Mostly it has to do with life experiences that we may have in common that we can share. Quite often similar ages means you have a higher chance of being in the same time frame of readiness for whatever steps you are looking for; just sex, dating, partners, etc.
too big of a gap tends to create a power discrepancy in couples so that you cannot be seen as equals in a relationship. Not always, but…
I’ld rather people be totally honest from the start. If you lie about you age, what else will you lie about?
ESPECIALLY if it’s anything health or legality related.