Dating:  Have You Ever Lied About Your Age?

(Photo Credits: fizkes from Shutterstock)

Have you ever lied about your age—online, offline, or even to your partner? If so, why? Conversely, have you ever been lied to by a boyfriend, hookup or partner? Age is often seen as just a number, but for many people, it carries emotional weight. Whether it’s insecurity, fear of judgment, or simply a desire to fit in, age-related lies are more common than you might think. But when it comes to relationships, these little lies can sometimes lead to big consequences.

Take this situation from r/askgaybros:

• “21 and 27 is a pretty big deal but not as big as 22 and 16. Which happened to a friend of mine. Long story short, he’s forever on the sex offender list.”

Age gaps can be tricky, especially when deception is involved. The difference between a few years may seem minor, but in some cases, lying about your age can lead to severe legal repercussions. It’s a reminder that transparency about age isn’t just a matter of trust—it’s sometimes about protecting yourself and others.

For many, though, the reasoning behind lying about their age isn’t quite as serious. Some older men want to seem younger, while younger guys often try to appear older. It’s a pattern that plays into our society’s obsession with youth and desirability.

• “I lied about my age to my ex at first out of insecurity and fear of my lack of sexual experience. When he did find out, I apologized and explained my fears… He forgave me, and we worked through it.”

For this user, the lie stemmed from insecurity about sexual experience, which is something many of us can relate to. The positive takeaway here is that honesty ultimately strengthened their relationship. The user learned to overcome feelings of inadequacy, and their partner’s understanding made the bond even stronger.

But not everyone would take that lie so well like these men below who said:

• “Starting a relationship with a lie doesn’t sound really appealing.”
  “He’s a liar. Deal breaker.”
  “If he will lie about his age, what else will he lie about?”

For some, lying—especially at the beginning of a relationship—is an instant dealbreaker. It makes sense. Trust is one of the core pillars of a healthy relationship, and a lie about something as fundamental as age can make people wonder what else might be hidden. If someone lies about their age, it might signal that other, more significant deceptions could be lurking around the corner.

But not everyone feels that way.

• “Age is just a digit. And I don’t fuck digits. I fuck men.”

For this person, age truly doesn’t matter, and they’re more focused on the connection they have with their partner rather than what’s on their ID.

So, Adam4Adam blog readers, where do you stand? If your partner lied about their age, would it be a dealbreaker for you? Or would you understand the insecurities that might have led to it? After all, the key to any strong relationship is communication—and maybe, a little bit of forgiveness when the lie isn’t so big? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below!