(Photo Credits: GaudiLab from Shutterstock)
What do you think about the words ‘gay’ and ‘queer,’ guys? Do you think they are homophobic slurs? Do you feel offended when someone calls you queer? Or gay, for that matter? Why or why not?
Apparently, the Twitterverse erupted into a debate when one Twitter user named @CoolRiderr tweeted earlier this month: “Quit calling gay people queer, we don’t like it.”
The tweet evoked all sorts of responses; there were explanations, agreements, and disagreements, though others were indifferent about the topic at hand. For instance, one person who responded explained:
Queer is literally the most inclusive term, every year we just tack another letter onto the already long and ridiculous acronym, whereas queer is just that, queer, we’re all queirdos, we all belong under that word because that’s what we all are, one way or another, be cool my guy
Further, one guy—who seem to agree with the original poster—responded:
I’m a(n) American, I’m a HOMOSEXUAL, I’m a brother, a son. I’m dyslexic, I’m a male, I’m white, (and) I’m GAY. I’m a cynic, I’m a friend, I’m (a) Irish. I’m many things. But the one thing I’m not is QUEER.
Moreover, a particular netizen said, “Thank you, Johnny. I really, really hate that word. It was a derogatory word in the 80s when I was a teenager and it made me cringe then.”
However, the debate didn’t stop there. It continued on when The Guardian, a British daily newspaper, published an article reporting the latest census revealing that 15,000 people identified as queer in England and Wales. You can read the study in full here.
A reader named Karl Lockwood of Brighton then wrote a letter to the editor saying that the term “queer” is “insulting and derogatory, and certainly not ‘reclaimed.’”
“I am a gay man of 66 years with many friends and acquaintances, and know no one who would refer to themselves as queer.” Lockwood added, “It would seem a small minority of activists has encouraged the media to use the word without considering its offensiveness to many people. You wouldn’t use the N-word, so don’t use the Q-word.”
You can read Lockwood’s opinion piece in full here.
But what does the term queer mean?
According to Stonewall:
Queer is a term used by those wanting to reject specific labels of romantic orientation, sexual orientation and/or gender identity. It can also be a way of rejecting the perceived norms of the LGBT community (racism, sizeism, ableism etc). Although some LGBT people view the word as a slur, it was reclaimed in the late 80s by the queer community who have embraced it.
Meanwhile, Stonewall defines the term gay as:
Refers to a man who has a romantic and/or sexual orientation towards men. Also a generic term for lesbian and gay sexuality – some women define themselves as gay rather than lesbian. Some non-binary people may also identify with this term.
Having said all that, what about you, guys? Do you find the word “queer” insulting and derogatory? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below!
Love first world problems and the obsession with identity politics
The identity politics and changing the long held and traditional meanings of words is nothing less than a leftist tactic of sowing the seeds of the division and the destruction of liberty and freedom as we know it. The attempts of mainstreaming the transgendering of children before they really know what they are is another example. Once the useful idiots who propagate this division and destruction are no longer uselful the tyrants who emerge from it all will destroy them. It’s nothing new. This same thing has played out many times through recorded history.
Isn’t this about inclusion and not discerning betwen left or right? Since you bring up history: The right would, and often has, had us persecuted and thrown in jail.
We all know how easily history can repeast itself and we have the power to not let this happen again.
“Gay” is what it is as “Lesbian” is what it is. Gay is the male term for a “Homosexual” and Lesbian is the female term for “Homosexual.” Both are understandable given our society’s predilection for naming people and things. “Queer” is gross, pejorative and indicative of how dumb our society has become to use such a Heinous term for ourselves. “Queer” is not affirmative; It is contaminative and shows Heterosexuals that Homosexuals can be just as self-depreciating and destructive as society has been towards us – historically. We have done a great disservice by branding ourselves as a strange breed… Read more »
Lesbian is just a subsitute for gay woman. Gay is all-encompassing, men and women, but the women who were anti-male had to have their own word to seize power and express their hate for men. They don’t understand that gay men don’t hate gay women, we just find them totally uninteresting or repulsive… but they all seem to suffer from penis envy.
Padre:
The Word “Lesbian” comes from the Greek Word “Lesbos” which is an island in Greece
and according to legend, the Home Of The Amazons? Most Gay Males do
not find
females, repulsive; instead, most find females useless but an “Necessary
Evil” as they
reproduce, and on occasions, replicate a beautiful male.
An Addendum:
When I was in Eighth Grade
my friend Kevin, said to me:
“You Know, People Like Us are Called Queers.”
From an African American point view, yeah, “we have done ourselves a great disservice” indeed.
I think for the most part; ‘we’ seem to have ‘caved-in’ to the abuse, really excepted it and it’s psychological damaging (hurt people, hurt people). Much like many African Americans have given-in, acting the part of the derogatory description/s. But “Queer” just doesn’t faze me.
A biologically female that wants to be a male may choose Gay, or Butch. It’s all about choice, right.
As always, there’s nothing communal about “The Community.” There’s no reason to expect universal agreement about anything.
For me, “queer” is negative; there’s nothing positive about its use whenever/wherever/however it is used. Synonyms are “strange, odd, doubtful.” Nothing good there.
But if a guy feels it suits him and he needs a label, that’s his choice. He can be queer.
The “community” consists of self-serving organizations and club owners, people who profit off the community of actual people. None of the organizations are elected, none of their policies are voted on by members. They do not represent the people and never have.
Its a 1st-World, Gen Z problem … need to be special and draw attention to one’s self? Make up new labels, genders, blah, blah, blah.
Today, you can be openly gay, get married, lead a boring life….unless you thrive on drama. I’m not saying there aren’t those who discriminate, but that’s their problem. Get a fucking life.
“Queer”… From the first time I heard it i thought it was weird that some people took great pride in using a label for themselves that is derogatory, demeaning, and hurtful.
“Stupid Are As Stupid Do”!
Yes, I too find it rather queer that people would do that. I also find the use of the N-word in rap “songs” to be similarly odd.
I view the term “queer” the same as Black people view the word “nigger/niggah”, a term used for generations as the majority designator to separate and stigmatize, anything but equalize. Even among those who never said it aloud, it sublimated their perceptions, and their failure to object helped it do its damage. Over time, some members of the respective groups used the word in general chastisement of anyone who wanted to normalize or blend in with the majority. For those who sought to “pass”, it was used for outing. In some, among themselves, it was used as an insult or… Read more »
Your writing makes me very curious about you and your background. I would be interested to hear from you via email.
Just curious how do you know how black people view the n-word? If you was black, I’m thinking you would have said; how we blacks view the n-word. It’s no way a person understand the history of pain and hurt from the n-word if you aren’t black? It bothers me when non- blacks make statements like that just to make a strong point. If I hear a young black person using the n-word in general conversation or in a song, it don’t bother me at all. Don’t ask me why; I’m just being real. I don’t ever want to hear… Read more »
… It really doesn’t take much to listen to how people view the N-word … the N-word (and who’s “allowed” to use it) is a topic that gets thrown around a lot. Even if R L isn’t black, he can still tune into and be aware of those conversations. You don’t need to personally BE black to be empathic, hear other people’s opinions on the matter, or develop opinions of their own. I’m black (since that matters). I hate the N-word and I would never use it, but I still feel like context does matter because some people use it… Read more »
There is no term that as soon as Straight mouths touch it that it doesn’t become a cuss word.
Here’s a link to a story I wrote that demonstrates the meaning of “queer” to those who grew up with it: An Arson Attack on a Gay Bar Killed 32 | by Zopoid | Medium
I learned of that case after the Pulse nightclub massacre. Very sad. You’re a great writer. You made a very sad and tragic incident palatable.
I find it offensive, always have always will.
I completely ignore those label words that divides us. I’m a healthy black male living one day at a time. I treat people with dignity and respect; the same way I demand to be treated. I treat everyone the same regardless of our many differences. At the end of the day, we all are basically the same. We laugh, we cry, we live! Enjoy life, smile, be happy and be the best person you can be.
Marcus We all Bleed The Same agree its just a label
Hello everyone!!, Who is ready for friends with benefits here ..?
When I was growing up, Queer was definitely a slur. And at the time in the dictionary there was just the one definition which was “Strange or Odd.” I congratulate anyone who feels they have reclaimed that word, but for many of us, it is a word that has negative connotations and I never fully understood why it was included in the long ___ Acronym.
Exactly! And I greatly resent the word’s singularly true and extremely useful meaning of “strange or odd” being co-opted as a sexual and derogatory term. “Queer” in its real meaning was once upon a time an extremely useful synonym of the English language to apply to the many things in life which are “strange” or “odd,” which homosexuals clearly are NOT, especially since the sexual orientation is made in the uterus and epigenetic milieu. I am resigned to the similar co-opting of “gay” from its original meaning, which was also a useful but now-lost synonym with slightly different connotations to… Read more »
I’m a gay man, Mid 30’s. The Gen Z kids really need to get over themselves. It’s just a 5 letter word. If reading a word is driving you over the edge…. Then don’t read it . I refer to myself as a Fag all the time and I’ve even had other homo’s tell me not to call myself that… People today literally search the internet begging to find something to upset themselves. If you don’t like something, then don’t do it. Stop demanding people to care about your feelings. Jeez just get over it. It’s really not that serious
I’m surprised it took so many posts to get to someone bringing up “Fag” and with a capital F no less. It’s equally as negative and derogatory as queer in my mind. I love myself more than that.
You are in your 30s. That explains everything. I call myself a “fag” or a “fairy” in jest sometimes too, but I am older than you, a gay boomer, so can tell you that the word “queer” was used like a serrated knife against gay boys and men in the ’50s. ’60s, and even ’70s. It is a word loaded with contempt, hate, and blood. It is just “not that serious” to you as you were not there. It was the last word many a gay man heard before dying after being bashed on the streets or murdered. The people… Read more »
Exactly! The co-opted meaning of the true (dictionary) definition of “queer” is now a vicious term evoking only the most derogatorily negative meaning of the otherwise normal and useful word in the English lexicon meaning “strange or odd.” Queer is a poor political choice to add into the alphabet word of LGBT acronym.
In English the word “fag” is itself a nickname for a “faggot” and is itself also a nickname for a “cigarette.” Now, I am puzzled why one would refer to himself as a cigarette. I find it queer (dictionary meaning, not its current bantering) and incongruous why one would ever refer to a guy as a “bound bundle of sticks for burning,” the meaning through English and other languages of faggot.
Hmm, I’m not giving it any energy, I mean, isn’t there a gay sitcom called “The Queer Eye” and for how long it’s been in syndication? It’s just not important in the larger scheme of things as they are.
I think the word queer has been used as a derogatory term of anyone who was different or odd. I put the word queer in the same category as the ” N ” word.
I personally feel that “QUEER” is prerogative and insulting in the USA. I think, however, in England it carries a different connotation, e.g.in England a “FAG” is a cigarette
“Queer” is hate speech and remains so. The stupid academics who thought we could change it by taking control of it were wrong. Just like the N-word, using it only makes it seem more usable by haters. Being gay is being gay. If you’re not gay, you’re something else, and not part of the Gay Community. We’ve been far too inclusive for far too long, and it has hurt us far too much. Most trannies are heterosexuals. Transitioning is not about sexuality. They are not part of the Gay Community. But they are doing all they can, mostly women, to… Read more »
I was once asked if I could describe myself in one word what would it be? My answer was “queer”. Just based on the definition of the word. It is what it is(to quote a former president, lol). The word that offends me is Fag. I’m not a cigarette, or pile of burning sticks.
Wanna know why some of us older gay men hate the word queer? Because it was the equivalent to the N word for gay men in the ’50s, ’60s. and beyond. Next to “faggot” it was an extremely demeaning, hurtful, and insulting word. The use of this word by homophobes, haters, bullies, and religious hypocrites killed the spirits of many gay boys and men. It was also the last word many men heard before bleeding out and dying after being bashed and quite likely the word many a gay man heard screamed at them in rage while they were being… Read more »
Thank you all! Queer means weird. Who wants to claim that? But let’s be clear, some folks on the relationship spectrum are queer to me. See: twitterverse. Even A4A feels “other” as a dating website and an umbrella of different relationships beyond traditional gay aka M4M. I don’t cotton to it at all. A4A means just that.
To me the word ‘Queer is insulting and boardering on hateful’. Gay and lesbian are more proper and respectful. i know a few gay men who are wonderful caring man and are definately not queer.
Im 45. I live on the west coast. I’m white. I am a guy. I was born a guy. I hate the word fag, but queer does not seem offensive to me at all. I call myself queer sometimes. To me, it means I am not homosexual (gay), but im defintely not straight either. I’m bi, except i also like non-binary, transgender, cross dressers, and other gender-fluid or gender-queer people. I think technically this makes me Pan-sexual, but some definitions of that word are really something a little different. So from a sexual preference point-of-view, I think me calling myself… Read more »
I hate the LGBTQ thing, I’ve always hated the word queer. Most of who I am has nothing to do with. or at the very least, is not dependent on my being gay. I never gave them permission to use me for a larger political agenda, even if I do support it. Stop putting people into boxes and realize each of us is unique. That’s not rocket science enlightenment; It’s go back to kindergarden and pay attention this time material. Stop assuming everyone who is gay jumps on the pride bandwagon. Perhaps some of us possessed it before we came… Read more »
If I had to choose one of those terms I’d choose gay. But personally I identify myself as same gender loving, SGL, anyway. It’s to the point and doesn’t carry any of the negative connotations the other two terms can evoke. Perhaps people too young to know how queer used to be used think they can make something acceptable out of it. But queer used to be how the heterosexual anti gay community referred to SGL people in general, and it was not said positively. Similar to how young African americans foolishly use the n-word and think it can be… Read more »
“Queer” has evolved to mean non-heteronormative. It’s not an insult. I am queer. I am gay.
Next non-issue, please?
Sticks and stones will break your bones but names will never hurt you. Grow up snowflakes. The world isn’t Disneyland, it’s a hard place. Quit being a victim, be a survivor. Being a victim means someone else controls you. Being a survivor means you control yourself.
Gay is a term that primarily refers to a homosexual person or the trait of being homosexual. The term originally meant ‘carefree’, ‘cheerful’, or ‘bright and showy’.[1]
While scant usage referring to male homosexuality dates to the late 19th century, that meaning became increasingly common by the mid-20th century.[2] In modern English, gay has come to be used as an adjective, and as a noun, referring to the community, practices and cultures associated with homosexuality. In the 1960s, gay became the word favored by homosexual men to describe their sexual orientation.[3] By the end of the 20th century, the word gay was recommended by major LGBT groups and style guides to describe people attracted to members of the same sex,[4][5] although it is more commonly used to refer specifically to men.[6]
I think QUEER is the most derogatory word referring to gay people. When I was coming up in the 60’s, thru the 90’s no one with any decency used the work in a positive way, and I think that people who are bringing it to using ti to refer to themselves do not have the positive image of themselves that they should have. As a tires old gay man, this is just my opinion.
Given my age I remember when “queer” was one of two words you heard before you got beaten up and/or raped. Something you would hear a lot when being forced to suck a cops cock in order not to be arrested. You would hear it when being fired from a job or being told you can’t rent here. Hearing that the word was reclaimed in the 80’s in my mind is just dumb. It’s like saying we are going to reclaim the word faggot. There s still a large segment of this society that queer still means “queer” any many… Read more »
I think older(in general) people that endured the word Queer as a slur will always see it as a slur. Queer to me as always just ment”not the norm”. Not in a bad way, but not the perceived usual way. One can have a Queer feeling. I rarely do things the usual way so I would easily identify myself in this way.