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Sexuality has never been a simple topic, and online discussions about labels often generate strong opinions. Most people are familiar with terms like straight, gay, bisexual, and pansexual, but what happens when someone doesn’t feel like they fit neatly into any of those categories? Can a person identify as overwhelmingly attracted to one sex while still experiencing occasional attractions, fantasies, or curiosities that fall outside that pattern? And if so, does that change who they are?
Recently, Dr. Joe Kort answered the question “97% straight, 3% attracted to men… is he still straight? In his video, he discussed what some people describe as being heteroflexible—a person who primarily identifies as straight but occasionally experiences some degree of attraction, curiosity, fantasy, or interest that falls outside the traditional heterosexual norms.
According to Dr. Kort, one of the biggest misconceptions is that any same-sex attraction automatically changes a person’s sexual orientation. Many people hear about a straight man who has a same-sex fantasy or enjoys certain experiences and immediately assume he must secretly be gay or bisexual. He argues that sexuality is more nuanced than that.
He pointed out that sexuality doesn’t always fit perfectly into categories. A man may spend his entire life dating, loving, and being romantically attracted to women while occasionally finding himself curious about a particular fantasy, dynamic, or experience involving another man. In these cases, some experts and individuals distinguish between attraction to a person and attraction to a scenario, fantasy, or experience.
The discussion also raises broader questions about how society views sexuality. Are people too quick to place others into rigid categories? Is it possible for someone to be predominantly straight while acknowledging occasional exceptions? Or does any degree of same-sex attraction automatically place someone somewhere else on the spectrum?
Of course, not everyone agrees. Some people believe that any recurring attraction to more than one gender falls under bisexuality, regardless of frequency. Others feel that labels are personal tools rather than strict scientific classifications and that individuals should be free to choose the description that best fits their lived experience.
Having said all that, what do you think, Adam4Adam blog readers? Can someone be mostly straight while occasionally experiencing same-sex attraction or sexual fantasies? Have your views on sexuality become more flexible over time, or do you prefer clearer labels? Do you agree that people talk much more openly about sexuality, identity, and attraction now than they used to? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section down below.
is that the same as a little pregnant?
No. Sexual orientation only comes in even number percentiles.
Only sucks his buddy’s cock when hes very drunk
Mostly Straight.
Heteroflexible.
Kinda Sorta Gay.
Bisexual.
I know a guy who says he’s Bisexual. He’s enjoys sex with women, but says he enjoys sex with men. He says he finds vaginal penetration better than anal with a guy due to natural lubrication and being able to be face-to-face. He also says men are much easier to get naked and men are more willing to engage in sexual gymnastics so he usually has much more sex with men. In general, he’s glad he also knows a couple of FWB male/female couples where “everybody ends up happy.”
Depends on the amount of imagination possessed?
Well, currently involved with reportedly a ST8/BI divorced Dude I can say every situation may be different. Met him online, we clicked and he came over for basically oral. Didn’t take much to get him more involved……very ‘handsy’ Dude who couldn’t take his hands off me. Don’t try to tell me he never saw a smooth bubble ass before because he was always touching, insisted on fingering and told me that he may need to check it out next time. Little did I know he would would be calling me the very next door and wanted to meet up again.… Read more »
This is the weirdest question I have ever seen on A4A,no he cannot,I am bi sexual,my first sexual experiences are with women,that’s because I lived in a rural area of North Carolina.I was in my early 20’s before my first homo sex(tasting dick and ass).To me,if a individual says this,he or she are still confused about themselves,this percent nonsense is stupid,once again, it was better being homo back in the days,then now!Especially among younger gay M/W of today,they have more mental health issues and want to live in that fantasy world.
No.
100% gay
100% bi
100% straight
What a juvenile/immature way of thinking. Life is not all one way, or all the other way. It’s not like a light switch. On or off. Black or white. There are many shades of color in between.
Then please explain the math of getting 97%
Easy! 97% is somewhere between 0% and 100%. Isn’t it? Alright then. There you go. But the title is just click bait anyways.
I agree. I’m 100% gay and damn proud of it. Fuck those undercover delusional fags.
Two ways to answer this: 1.) No fucking way, because the moment 1% of you (a heterosexual) has a sliver of an interest in guys, that pct. won’t only increase to 3%; it’ll catapult considerably. 2.) If you’re like me, a 60-plus longtime married guy with wonderful loving wife, kids, home life etc., who gets my fill of periodic amazing pleasure in bed with guys, then it may be I’m 97% straight, but that other 3% is nonetheless a force to be reckoned with.
Sexuality is a spectrum. I doubt anyone is 100% gay and I doubt anyone is 100% straight. And that percentage may shift over one’s lifetime. There is also such a thing as what’s called mixed orientation. In that you can be attracted emotionally or romantically to one gender but sexually to the other. I really hate labels whether it be straight or gay. My own approach to sex and sexuality has changed over my life. There was a long period where I refused to acknowledge how attracted I was to men. Societies shaming played a lot of role in that.… Read more »
Speak for yourself man, I’m 28 years old and I can say without question or doubt that I’m 100% gay. I am not interested in women now, and when I go into my 40s and eventually 60s, I still will never be interested in women as I know what I like and what I’m into. And dick and ass of a man is the only thing I’m sexually attracted to. Pussy does nothing for me. I do not want it, not curious about it, and most certainly don’t wish to try it. As a top, the only set of holes… Read more »
Spot on Alex! Attempting to slot people into sexual categories is as nonsensical as every single other stereotype be it ethnic, religious, racial, political party, employment, sports team – the lists are endless. And they are all artificial man-made contrivances that attempt to ignore all gradations. Looking back on my 60+ years since puberty, my own preferences have changed, even among men. As have the sex acts I prefer. And I’ve had “good” and “so-so” sex with both men and women. If there is any pattern I can report, it is that I enjoy it far more when my partner… Read more »
Speaking from my personal experience, I feel and know it happens and exists. I’m okay with the concept because I’ve participated in the experience.
A friend for over 20 years considers himself straight. Definitely a FWB relationship between us. He has a wife and children, also a child from a previous woman. He likes the oral and anal dick service I can provide for him so it works for both of us. I asked if he’s ever had sex with a man before and he said no. When I asked if he would suck me he replied that he can’t, doing so would make him throw up. I don’t think that there is any percent of him attracted to men, just enjoys the service… Read more »
I totally agree. I have a couple of buddies like that. Consider themselves straight, are married, have kids, live “normal” straight lives. But they enjoy the “service to their dicks” that I can provide occasionally. No problem with that.
I’d bet that if you don’t push, he’ll decide to explore you with his mouth sometime down the road. Once a guy knows how good it feels to have his cock sucked … it’s a development thing … a learning thing … a thanks! But don’t push. If you value him, you won’t.
He’s not gay; the guy whose dick he’s sucking is!
Not unlike, “My Wife Is Married”!
For the thumbs down crowd, The basis of my comment was sarcasm. I guess it didn’t come across the way I intended it to.
It’s official, us gay men are going extinct, rarely man who’s sexually attracted to men embrace being gay, bisexuals are still considered non-existent in society, but majority of everyone wants to be straight (or at least claim to be straight). Just shows how deep internalized homophobia runs very deep in the gay community. It’s much deeper than people like to admit and with all these labels that branches off of bisexuality (For BI erasure purposes) that wants men to live in denial particularly gay men and now this bs about being a % straight, internalized homophobia just continues to evolve… Read more »
The population of Gay men has grown enormously over the last decade or two. Prior to that, the Gay guys you saw were feminine, flamboyant, fairies. They’d usually meet at clubs, book stores, or bath houses. In the background were guys who knew they were attracted to men but didn’t act on it. They appeared to be Straight, They knew they weren’t like the Gay guys they saw and were not attracted to. They very rarely were able to connect with men for sex. As the Internet grew, these guys became able to meet guys like them through sites like… Read more »
Nah I have to disagree with you there. Homosexuality is just more acceptable than it was years ago, which is why more gay men feels open to embrace it, not that gay men are rapidly increasing. Quite the opposite at least in terms of what it means to be gay in general. Those fairies/highly feminine gay males actually see themselves as women even to the point of undergoing surgery to become a transgender, so they could declare themselves as str8 females or lesbians (if they’re into girls). As for the men who prefer to keep their private sex life private… Read more »
sounds like a “PBS Documentary”?
I agree with everything you wrote. Well written and accurate. .
As a man who enjoys sex with men and women and recently came out to my wife i have discovered alot about myself. I used to try to rate myself of a perecentage of gay/straight. But realize now its not a fixed number but fluctuates throughout time.
here’s the deal..I was married almost 40 years,raised two kids and got my cock serviced by men whenever possible..no one ever saw that side of me except the ones with their mouths full of cock…I had my “straight” friends and my friends I played with and never did the two intermingle my wife never had a clue ..she was still getting hers she just couldn’t suck cock!!
& what do you consider yourself? Any % to apply to that decision?
Damn straight man can be straight and enjoy sex with another man, prefer sex other men, even only want sex with men. Sex and intimacy and attraction are not one and the same. Being BI doesn’t mean men and women are completely interchangeable when all factors are considered. I am straight and prefer sex with men. I’m not attracted to men I meet on the street, there is zero chance I would feel lovey dovey and cuddle, share my life desires with a man. Sorry there is just way more to life than sex. But a man’s anatomy is physically… Read more »
How can one consider themself straight if they are active with other men?
Put it like this: say you have a glass of water. Put in any amount of sugar you want. That’ll NEVER be 100% pure water again.
This sounds very similar to the “One-drop rule” during slavery in the South. It was a ridiculous idiotic concept then, and it it still is now.
When, do you suppose, that in the face of all this categorical nebulousness, will insight arise? Is it possible that the failure of all your sexual pigeonholes to neatly restrain sexual behavior will cause you to examine the whole concept? Sexual identities are transient and ever evolving cultural concepts that reflect no underlying biological truths whatsoever. Being queer, straight, bi, whatever doesn’t make you a different species any more than preferring cabbage over lettuce.
It is *absolutely* possible. Attraction is personal, not dictated by someone else’s asinine agenda. There are “straight” guys who are only attracted to that one male friend, just as there are “gay” guys who have only been attracted to one single female. There are six numbers on the Kinsey scale, not three, and even six is extremely limiting. I have straight friends who had *one* same-sex interaction, and get constantly hounded by gay men, most of whom aren’t even attractive to other gay men, for a “chance.” Not everyone is bound by the extremes imposed upon us by the Community,… Read more »
But you just called it out by putting the word straight in quotes. Even if it’s just 1 person, how can you still believe you’re straight?
In the 1970’s before AIDS hit all the rage for gay men was getting and keeping a straight man. I read a lot of 1970’s gay magazines sex stories and mostly all of them had at least one gay man and a straight man getting together. It’s clear to me back then that gay men went with getting a straight man was like winning the lottery. Appears to me there were a lot of straight men in serious “closed” relationships that included one on one physical sex with men. But also, a lot of orgy settings with gay and straight… Read more »
I don’t know. My brother in law went to jail when he was 19 years old for armed robbery. He said every once in a while he would let a gay guy in jail suck his dick. He said he jerked off alone 95% of the time. He said every now and then, he wanted some wet juicy lips wrapped around his big dick and that’s all. He said he would get a fem gay guy that look and act just like a woman. I know for a fact he ain’t gay or bi.
I’ve just discovered after coming home from a gay pride event at a gay club, that as of today, I’ve been officially booted out of the “gay alphabet” due to the fact that I have no romantic attraction towards men and considered aromantic- putting me in the “A” of the LGBTQIA despite that I consider myself gay (according to the gays I’ve spoken to) This is the worst gay pride month in my entire life with people falsely re-labeling me or themselves such as this article to fit a certain social narrative/stereotype. I’m so upset to the point that I’m… Read more »
Well labels seem to rule society today. Time to do away with the entire alphabet. I was in a sexual relationship with a guy for over 15 years (I’m married to a woman though). On a regular basis he would chide me that I would never understand what it was to be gay. I was simply a straight boy who loved to suck cock. Maybe he was right. Who knows? Who cares?
Can there be more stupid questions?
Like how instead there be a blog article with the celebration of how on June 5th at their 13th Pride Night, the Los Angeles Dodgers unveiled a permanent display honoring LGBTQ+ trailblazers and former players for the team Glenn Burke and Billy Bean, who were the first two major leaguers to say they were gay?
But A4A, no. And “The Community”, no. Acknowledging … and CELEBRATING … everyday advances in acceptance slogs along at a snail’s pace (my apologies to snails).
A person’s sexual identity is something that is very complex and usually has a lot of variables. To clarify, I identify with being Pandemicgynosexual. Many years ago I was “straight”, married to a woman and fathered two children. Then later in life (after my divorce) I struggled with my identity and after years I finally found that I’m comfortable with my identity. My identity is one that is complex, difficult to explain and most likely I wont find true happiness,and I wont settle for less either and I’m fine with that. In my world and way of thinking, assigning a… Read more »
Hince the confusion of saying “97%”.
I don’t care about the number or the name given but I’ve always agreed with that comedian who said you suck dick or you do not suck dick. I know married guys who love getting double penetrated and fisted and gang banged but insist they are straight. One guy says his mouth and his ass are for cock,his dick is for pussy.
I’m a guy married to a woman but I have a gay friend that enjoys his time with me and I enjoy being with him also.I could see if it was possible to be with him everyday I might would enjoy gay sex only
Love all the ladies, but love the occasional cock and eventual load in my mouth. Label? HAPPY hmu, guys