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In the gay dating world, the focus is often on whether someone is a top, bottom, or versatile, but what about those who don’t fit into these roles? They are called sides, you know, those who dislike anal sex. How do sides fit in? And would you date someone who isn’t into anal?

This is the question of a gay man online who asked, “Would you date a ‘side’? Would you date a guy who isn’t really into anal?” While some gay men welcomed the idea of a relationship built on other forms of intimacy like oral sex, frotting, frottage etc., others felt that anal penetration is essential. Here’s what other gay men had to say.

Some men believe that sex is just one aspect of a relationship, and penetration isn’t necessary to form deep emotional and physical bonds. To them, connection, communication, and affection take precedence over anal sex. “It’s not about who’s on top or bottom, it’s what makes a relationship work. I’m okay with it. There’s so much more than fucking in a relationship.”

For those who identify as sides, the answer is simple: of course! They prefer alternative forms of intimacy, such as kissing, mutual masturbation, and oral sex, over anal penetration. “I am a side myself, so obviously yes!”

Meanwhile, for some, penetration is deeply intimate and meaningful, but it doesn’t need to be an everyday occurrence. A mix of cuddling, kissing, and other non-penetrative acts—can create a satisfying and fulfilling sex life. “I mean… the feeling of being inside a bottom’s bottom… feeling his warmth surrounding my dick, while I hug him and squeeze him, and passionately kiss him all over his shoulders and neck, intertwining my fingers with his fingers. To the point of becoming one… even if is for an instant. That’s priceless to me; but I don’t need to do that daily… maybe twice a month? Then I could just play around frothing, hand jobs, blowjobs the rest of the days … lots of cuddles and snuggles is a must too.”

Some men find sides to be perfect for casual encounters, especially if they enjoy the intimacy of cuddling and foreplay without the expectation of anal sex. However, they may not consider them as long-term partners. “Not date, but definitely for fun meets. Sides love to cuddle.”

For others, anal penetration is a crucial part of their sexual expression. While they may enjoy oral sex or mutual masturbation for a while, they ultimately crave anal sex and wouldn’t feel completely satisfied in a relationship without it. “I can date, but for me, fucking an ass is very important. I can go with getting blowjobs for a month or so, but after that, I need a hole to fuck.”

In addition, some gay men are clear about their preferences, and penetrative sex is non-negotiable. For them, dating someone who doesn’t enjoy anal simply wouldn’t be a good match. “Lol no. I love being inside men too much.”

Lastly, for some bottoms, dating a side isn’t necessarily a deal-breaker. With alternatives like toys and a strong emotional connection, a fulfilling relationship is still possible. “I’m a bottom, but I absolutely would. Dildos exist if I’m really antsy, but honestly, I think the intimacy and love is what I really want the most out of a relationship. Besides, sex is so much more than just anal.”

Having said all that, what about you, Adam4Adam blog readers? What do you think? Would you date a side? Sexual compatibility is an essential aspect of a relationship, but for other gay men it’s not just about sex—it’s also about connection, communication, and mutual understanding. How important is anal sex in your relationships? Share your thoughts and stories in the comments section down below!

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