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No two relationships are exactly alike. Some are built to last, while others, no matter how promising, come to an unexpected end. Whether you’ve been in a relationship that spanned decades or find yourself navigating the ups and downs of shorter connections, we’re curious: How long is your longest relationship, and why did it end?
We’ve gathered some popular answers from Reddit’s r/askgaybros, and their experiences might just resonate with you.
1. “32 years and counting.”
There’s something incredibly heartwarming about reading stories of couples who have endured for decades. Imagine the growth, challenges, and milestones shared over 32 years. The secret to longevity? Mutual respect, deep understanding, and unwavering commitment. For Adam4Adam readers who are still going strong after many years, how do you keep the flame alive?
2. “8 years. He was my boyfriend for my entire med school. I really thought we’d end up in front of an aisle exchanging vows and all that shit. Until the fucker decided, ‘Omg. I may actually be bisexual and prefer to have a family,’ after the countless dicking he’d received from me. He got married last year after dating this girl for 6 months. I still feel like I wasted 8 years with that one.”
The end of an 8-year relationship—especially when it was serious enough to plan a future together—can feel devastating. When you invest years into someone, only to have them change course, it can stir a range of emotions: anger, frustration, and even regret. But, in hindsight, those years may have taught you more about yourself and what you truly want in a partner.
3. “My husband and I just had our 30-year anniversary.”
Another testament to love standing the test of time! Couples like these show that long-term relationships are possible with dedication, humor, and shared values. A relationship of 30 years is filled with countless chapters, and while some might have had challenging plot twists, they’re still together, proving that love is worth the work.
4. “0 years, 0 months, 0 days, 0 hours, 0 minutes and 0 seconds. I’m alone at many different levels.”
Being single is also part of many people’s journeys. It’s a time for self-discovery, learning what you want in a relationship, and finding out what truly makes you happy. While this person may feel isolated now, it’s important to remember that love often comes when you least expect it.
5. “5 years and it recently ended when he told me he had sex with someone else by accident.”
Infidelity, especially when it feels like a betrayal of trust, is one of the hardest reasons for a relationship to end. Many couples face this situation, and while some may work through it, others find it’s a breaking point. For this person, 5 years of commitment ended in heartbreak after one moment of weakness.
6. “Straight like 3 years. Gay like 2 at this point. Still happily going. I’m bi by the way. But same sex partners are so much easier to handle lol.”
For bisexual men, navigating relationships with both same-sex and opposite-sex partners can bring unique challenges and insights. This person finds happiness with their same-sex partner, noting how the dynamic seems simpler to manage.
7. “18 years, 11 married. He had a car and a guitar, I was smitten.”
Sometimes, it’s the simple things—like a car and a guitar—that can spark a connection. Eighteen years is a long time to build a life together, and it’s likely filled with both blissful and difficult moments. Yet, the initial sparks remain fond memories.
Now it’s your turn—How long is your longest relationship, and why did it end? Tell us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below!
Only been in 1 long term and it lasted 17 yes. He passed and that is the only reason our relationship ended.
I’m so sorry, not a long enough time to be together.
He is still with you, except instead of being in front of you, he is now inside of you! he will always be with you, Mike!
20 years and we were starting to make plans for a retirement together in a warmer climate. But he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, and of course everything changed. As it happened, gay marriage was just being legalized everywhere, so we were able to exchange our vows and even celebrate 1 “legal” anniversary before he lost that battle. I wouldn’t exchange those years with him for anything.
Just shy of 16 years. We are still best friends today, 13 years after splitting. He was dealing with some mental issues and let outside influences break us up, which he regrets to date. Could never get back together, but will always be friends and love each other.
I was with mine 42 wonderful years He past away last year
33 years. The first for both of us. Just before Thanksgiving of 2011 he was t-boned in an accident, spent three months in surgical intensive care and left me on Valentines Day 2012. After all this time I’m just starting to look around again, not sure where or if anything will happen. But, who knows? I guess I’ll find out.
God Giveth and God Taketh Hope the interims were wonderful.
I hope you never have to go through the heartache that comes with it
I am the last of eight!
God Giveth and God Taketh Hope the interims were wonderful.
the interims were wonderful!
29 years and counting!
15 years… with a man 12 years older…. I have to assume I “aged out” on him and he preferred twinks on the beach…when I was working! I do not handle cheating well… especially when told “I thought we had an open relationship” No one told me!
10 years, 8 months. We were engaged to be married during the final year, but he suddenly fell ill and died. I’d like to think we’d still be together if it weren’t for that, though I could also see his habit of buying expensive furniture we didn’t need would have become a stress point, as would interference from his mother.
15 or so years with two separate FWBs. They know each other exist. Just haven’t put the three of us together. They both have FWBs of their own. Have met some of each.
All’s good all around. None of us seek our One and Only Mr. Right. Guys seeking such most likely couldn’t handle it. No issue there. They should stay on the path that works for them
10 years and after supporting him for the last 4 of it he came hone said he was moving out and had his family there to help him. We wasn’t fighting or anything. The only beef I had was our relationship was never his priority. Every time we try to plan anything his family would have a major event that we’d have to deal with. The other issue was he could talk about whatever was going on to anyone but me. Our one n only fight was about how his family fucked up our anniversary date. And far as arguing… Read more »
Never been in a relationship never really had thought about being in a relationship with a guy I think I just like the sex or the idea of being gay the different between women and men is with women you have too play there games and with some men you jump right into the sex or talking about sex I know some women like talking about sex but I like talking to men about because I have what men like and with women I don’t have what they like
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I’ve had a few boyfriends over the years, but nothing that ever turned into a real relationship. Where/how do I find the guys who are interested in forming a relationship?
As a bi-married guy who’s had discreet gay sex for years and is only in it for the sex with no love involved, I still can say about 7 years. That was when I met a fellow BiMM’er seeking the same thing. We’ve never fallen in love or anything like that and both remain happily married, but we continue to enjoy great sex in an ongoing thing.
My ex from my hometown; on off, for decades, when we weren’t dating/single. The last time we were a couple, was for the last time, leaving my hometown and him behind after approximately 20yrs in Summer of 03′.
I outgrew him and Minneapolis, long ago, I still love the man, just not in love and who needs a housemate, I don’t.
I was 32 years old when I ended a 4-year relationship. I realized then that I didn’t like men. Yes, I’m a gay man but I really do not like to be around men (gay or straight). Casual sex, or an escort, is fine and works for me but being around a guy 24/7 is a huge turn-off – just not interested. When I meet a guy and he wants to date, I politely decline to save him (and myself, really) from eventual stress and grief. Now, at 52 yrs. old, my male friends are part of a male/female couple… Read more »
It was 43 years and it was my first and only relationship, we were open in the final few years and it ended when he died of heart failure.
God Blessed you! Enjoy your Memories as they will be many!
Glad for guys that want one long term guy. Just not in my genes (or my jeans). I value my current play buds, especially those I originally met years and years ago. Would take a bullet for few or them. They’re the same way … we like our good friends and are happy to find more friends that could become good friends. But we know we’re just not “one and only” kind of guys.