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Have you ever been stealthed, guys?
We are asking because a recent online post brings the question above to mind. The original poster of the thread shared, “I just got stealthed.” He continued:
So, I just got stealthed and went to the emergency room. The doctor and nurse treated it quite casually. I asked for PEP and they gave me three pills for the next three days.
Was I overthinking this? I got so paranoid and googled it, I saw that someone in my situation should take pep within the next 72 hours. And take the dose for 28 days (while I’m taking it for three days). The other person is not on prep and neither am I. I feel like shit, haven’t told anyone about this and it’s kinda eating me up.
“Stealthing” refers to the non-consensual removal of a condom during sexual activity, and it’s a concern that has affected individuals within the LGBTQ+ community.
Stealthing is a breach of trust that can have serious physical and psychological consequences. In the context of the LGBTQ+ community, this issue goes beyond the act itself; it touches on broader concerns related to consent, communication, and sexual health. Addressing stealthing requires a multifaceted approach that prioritizes open dialogue and mutual respect.
The Importance of Communication:
Communication is the cornerstone of healthy and consensual relationships. In the LGBTQ+ community, fostering an environment where individuals feel comfortable discussing boundaries, expectations, and preferences is crucial. Establishing clear communication channels helps create a foundation of trust, making it less likely for incidents like stealthing to occur.
Educating and Raising Awareness:
Educational initiatives play a vital role in preventing stealthing. Community organizations, healthcare providers, and LGBTQ+ advocates can contribute to awareness campaigns that emphasize the importance of consent, communication, and safe sexual practices. Empowering individuals with knowledge about their sexual health and rights is key to fostering a community that values respect and consent.
Seeking Support:
If someone experiences stealthing, seeking support is essential. Local LGBTQ+ organizations, mental health professionals, and sexual health clinics can provide guidance, counseling, and resources for individuals navigating the aftermath of such an experience. Creating safe spaces for survivors to share their stories and access support is crucial for healing and raising awareness.
Legal Considerations:
In certain countries, like Germany and the United Kingdom, stealthing is considered a form of sexual violence and is subject to legal consequences. Meanwhile, in the United States, particularly in California and Maine, stealthing is illegal and is classified as a civil offense. Read more here.
For more information about stealthing and how to protect yourself, read here.
What cowardly behavior…. I am a top. I would never commit such a vile, deceitful act. This should be a crime.
IF you know you are HIV+ and remove the condom without consent…. it can absolutely be a crime.
Several years ago I was accused of stealthing when the condom came off. I honestly didn’t know because it felt just as good with the condom than it did without it. When I pulled out it wasn’t on and the guy panicked and tried to physically kill me. We fought before I could even explain that it must be inside him. He messaged me the next day and said it came out but he still plans to press charges. Nothing happened, but it was insane and I would never purposely take off a condom during sex, even if asked.
Geez, what an ass. If the condom came out after your encounter then I wouldn’t consider it intentional. If the condom had broken would he have been confrontational? If neither of you are on PREP then you’re taking a chance regardless of whether condoms are used.
Can someone please explain that last sentence?
Oh, I get it now. Over looked the word neither.
Wow, that’s grounds for a serious beat-down, I mean, really, how selfish and careless, all in one, not to mention utter and absolute betrayal!
Stealthing potentially causes physical harm, but it most definitely creates mental and emotional anxiety for the victim. It’s complete disregard for your partner, something you just don’t do. In that situation I’d get physical and I’d take my chances on him filing charges against me.
It’s not “stealth,” it’s RAPE. Have the guy arrested. It’s a crime.
It doesn’t meet the definition of Rape: sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury.
It falls under the definition of Sexual Assault: sexual contact of behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the victim.
Neither is legal, of course.
In either case, sex is a privilege, not a right. You get to have sex because someone else grants you the privilege of using their body for your pleasure. Within bounds, of course, that should have been discussed ahead of time and agreed to. Misuse the privilege and you should lose it for life.
Never assume that others have the same moral compass you do. The minute someone gets truly hung up on drugs or alcohol the moral compass that includes concern for casual sex partners; health can easily go by the wayside in favor of “I want what I want now”.
Sounds a great deal like So., Florida, which explains the very high HIV+ rate here. OMG, these people are narcissistic as all hell.
Guys who stealth on purpose should have a lifetime ban on having sex.
But we know that bans are worthless bullshit, so let’s go with castration.
I don’t get the picture. Two guys in PJs? What? After the heinous act they got dressed and had a discussion?
Is it stealthing if someone who knows they had HIV lies to you about it and infects you? Bc thats what happened to me; PEP/PrEP wasn’t being shown on TV commercials, let alone advertisements or even posted about in the clinics back in 2014, so when I got sick I didn’t know that I had a chance to stay negative…
.. and THIS is exactly why i am a SIDE, honey!
So about today’s news acriss major media sites that the “Pope allows blessings of same-sex couples.” This is a HUGE step. Or is it not news because Progressive/Liberal/Democratic media is anti-religion so religious good news is still bad news?
Religion is the oldest con game around. Nothing about it is “good”.
I see a sexually active gay man without a primary care Physician. PrEP is free even if on Medicaid. We are all responsible for our own protection. I’ve been getting tested for 37 years & been on PrEP as long as it has been available. If more men would protect themselves things like this would not be such an issue.
I have never intentionally stealthed but I did have the condom break a few times and I did not say anything (I’m big) and they were his condoms that he insisted I use because he knew where they came from. We have known each other since we were teenagers and I don’t top anyone else. He is a little slutty or seems that way.
I’ve refused to use condoms since 1988, so I never have this problem. I also never get STI’s, because I use a straw and hydrogen peroxide to kill any bugs that might invade my dick. It’s worked great for 20 years now. Plus I’m immune to HIV anyway, since I have the Delta 32 deformity in my T-cells and can’t get infected by HIV anyway. I can never actually screw all the guys that want me too anyway, so access to great ass is also no problem flor me.
May years ago, when I was first getting in to expanding my sexual horizons and fantasy’s on sex parties and gang bangs. I went to a sex party in a big city. Drove two hours for it. When I got they went over the rules for everyone. $10 at the door, this helped supply the lube, condoms and towels. Since it was my first time, everyone flocked to me, first I was getting my dick sucked while sucking off someone, since I’m a bottom, I got on all fours on a height adjustable padded bench that swiveled. I was litterly… Read more »