(Photo Credits: 4 PM production from Shutterstock)
Hey, guys! Do you feel hot and bothered all the time? If so, how does one stop being horny constantly?
We are bringing this up because a gay man on Reddit wishes to know if it’s normal to be horny all the time. He says he is turning 32 this month, and that he masturbates 5-6 times a week, sometimes even more. He confessed:
Still in the office, I will be having erotic thoughts about every single man there, like sometimes I will be looking at my screen but my head will be thinking about rimming a guy sitting in the office. Sometimes the urge is so strong I have to rub one off in the middle of my work day to be able to concentrate, but even then, 5 minutes later, I will again be thinking about sex.
I am not into hook ups, but sometimes the urge is so strong that I just look for something quick, then I regret it for one or two days, then again, I’ll be horny.
I know men are supposed to be horny a lot, but is this level of horniness normal?
Does this sound familiar to you, guys? Do you feel the same?
One respondent said, “God, I feel so out of touch being a gay man. I’m horny maybe once or twice a week. I go through phases where I’m definitely horny for more than normal but it doesn’t last long.” On the other hand, another gay man responded, “I’m 42, jerk off several times a day, and look at hot men like a wolf looks at a bloody steak.”
Meanwhile, a guy shared, “I quit jerking off and watching porn for a couple of weeks and my drive dropped dramatically.” He added, “It’s honestly helped me focus more at work and when I do jerk off sometimes, I don’t use porn. Mentally I feel a lot better not constantly sexualizing everything I see.”
Having said all that, we did a little research and found that there’s such a thing as compulsive sexual behavior. Also called hypersexuality or sexual addiction, compulsive sexual behavior is defined by the Mayo Clinic as “an intense focus on sexual fantasies, urges, or behaviors that can’t be controlled. This causes distress and problems for your health, job, relationships, or other parts of your life.”
Mayo Clinic further explained that “compulsive sexual behavior may involve different kinds of commonly enjoyable sexual experiences.” They cited examples such as “masturbation, sexual arousal by using a computer to communicate, multiple sexual partners, use of pornography or paying for sex.”
The article has enumerated a number of symptoms. If they checked out for you, and if your fantasies have gotten out of hand already, if they’ve become disruptive it’s started to affect your work and everyday life, then it may be time to seek treatment. Read more about compulsive sexual behavior here.
“All the time?” No. When you have a life, being horny isn’t your entire life.
But given down time or free time or free time, well, thoughts will often drift in that direction and appropriate “maintenance” will occur.
Or given a guy passing by that get’s my attention or an image of one or a bud proposing that we meet for fun, the systems kick in!
So mark me as “Not always, but easily motivated.”
How about “Not Always” but “Usually Always”?
ONLY 5-6 times a week at age 32? I’m surprised my dick survived that age without being worked raw and whittled down like a pencil in an overly active sharpener! Multiple times a day for me back then – and I knew guys who were bigger horn dogs than I was.
Hypersexuality? Every person is different. For some that is a lot and for others 5-6 a month might do it. There is nothing “wrong” with anyone at either side of the spectrum. Embrace the wood!
I think its a mistake to see this as purely a question of libido. People use sex to anesthetize themselves and also to fight boredom. I think it’s very likely the reddit poster either has a very unfulfilling job, or unwelcome feelings that he fights off with sexual fantasy and masturbation.
I’m bi-married and with that comes the inner mental/emotional baggage, guilt, what have you. For me at least, that means that when I have a fulfilling experience with a guy, I usually don’t desire it again for at least a week or more. Hard to psychoanalyze myself, but I think my “hetero side” kicks back in and says “take a breather from the gay stuff for a little while.” But it’s cyclical and in due time, my “homo side” comes back…ohhh does it come back.
Damn…as a bi, married man also I have exactly the same experience. After a good hookup with a guy I tend to step away from it for a week or so. And yes, when the urge for M2M comes back it is with a vengeance!
I know what you mean, as a bi married man who is a bottom, the craving to have some man meat is hard to resist.
Sounds to me like you may want to reexamine your “bisexuality”.
Nothing wrong with that, and you DEF shouldn’t feel guilty! Guilt is an unproductive emotion – just enjoy yourself and let yourself go with what you are feeling without the social constraints and prejudices!
A reply for Jeff and BiTop4HotBttm: Nice to see others like us, right BiTop? Helps keep our sanity. I’m also interested in how you may reply to Jeff after reading mine here… Jeff, appreciate the support, though it has nothing to do with social constraints and prejudices. It has to do with the fact that guys like Jeff and me know deep inside what we’re doing is wrong in the context of our marriages. That said, and perhaps Jeff handles it differently, but I’ve spent years doing this – always on the downlow and as fool-proof safe as possible. Very early… Read more »
Also bi married and find the discussion very interesting. I am 68yo and after 20+ years of enjoying men, have worked thru the guilt and understand who I am and what I need. But still have to work on it from time to time. But more on point, my continued sexual drive and horniness has not changed a bit though the years. If anything, I want men even more. BIG QUESTION… Are we addicted?
Scott – depends how you define “addiction.” In the non-literal sense, I consider myself addicted to a daily/nightly dose of gay porno. As for real gay sex, I get it when I need/want it, which is a fairly steady cadence, albeit about 1x a month give/take (based on the assorted logistical/availability etc. factors). I’m also like you in that my drive for gay sex has increased over time; meanwhile, my love life with my wife has all but disappeared (though we still get along fine).
Same age. I’m as horny as ever. Wife has no interest. I want men more than ever. Nowadays, I much prefer being the one fucked. If not getting any, I JO 2-3 times a day on average.
Cool man!!! DEF NO GUILT is needed for a natural human desire that everyone has, from the President to the POPE!!! 🙂
Wow i am in the same boat here all the same feelings and thoughts it can be really tough sometimes through.
Agreed, there is no fault, nor should there be guilt, as long as you’re cheating/deceiving anyone.
I don’t agree that guilt is in all cases unproductive. We usually feel it when we believe we’re harming someone else like, say, a spouse who trusts us not to cheat. If guilt motivates us to stop doing the wrong thing, it’s quite useful. In any event, it’s not something you can just stop feeling, unless one is a sociopath.
Mike – you raise a very valid point. Here’s a slight variation of it: It’s not so much the guilt I feel, because per my earlier post I have that pretty well under control, but my wife’s mere presence, her schedule, etc., it kind of “grounds” me so that I don’t get the opportunities to slip out and meet guys all that often (but often enough). That’s kind of a good thing for me.
I was only addressing the assertion that ‘guilt is a useless emotion.’ How bisexuals navigate sneaking around isn’t among my interests.
Married…once a week it always the wish but the timing is not the best.Definitely wanting more and wanting to share always with one man.Even then doing new adventures to keep wanting more and more.Sex all the time and sweet passion is a wish ALL the time.
I used to be Bi-. Actually, “Functionally Straight” because I knew I liked men but did not align at all with the gays you only saw in the media in those days (stereotypical fem, flamboyant, fluffy, fairies). Dated women in my teens and 20s. Married and had sex until she lost interest. Caught a lot of heat on A4A (mostly by a moderator who has faded) when I first joined who me berated me in posts for “lying” (as he felt it) about my sexuality. But there also was the dislike widely doled out by some militant Gays toward Bi’s… Read more »
That’s verrrrry inspiring. Take heart that there are others just like you, especially me. I have no issues with effeminate/militant/what-have-you type gays, but I also have no place in their world – only their bodies to help appease my need for gay sex.
No, that’s a normal response to having sex with someone. It makes you want more, but at the same time, there’s a recovery period.
How about “Thorny” all the time?
I’ve always had a side that wanted more my entire adult life. Even now at 70, I get hard seeing a bubble butt or bulge. I love advertising on Adam’s trip planners and take full advantage of all out hotel sex.
I’m 67, and jack off at least once everyday, sometimes 2-3 times! And the weekends or Holidays, if I don’t hook up, I’m pounding it all day and night. Being a horn dawg hasn’t effected my life or work in anyway. I’ve had several gay relationships, and sex was on the menu everyday/night and jacking was a huge part of it!
I agree with you Randy seems the older i get the hornier i get ,think of sex every day
Is that all, for that young age? I use to do it at least several times a day, now, at least once a day, sometimes 3, I seem to go in cycles though. However, it maybe because I was a “late bloomer.” I grew so fast, that “puberty had to take a backseat until my bones were done stretching” (pediatrician said this would happen.) I never did masturbate until the late age of 19! I had just turned 19; getting my first apt., smoked dooby late aftenoon-ealry evening one Saturday; taking a nap before dinner and wham, got woody like… Read more »
I think I peaked at this at age 11 and it’s been downhill since. Certainly no action with anyone else back then and for years afterward. If I’m anything close to typical, then you’ll age out of it. It also “helps” to manage stress by eating and going past a certain weight level. I’ve dropped 10% off of that and horniness is coming back. Louis CK would be hard to beat as masturbator-in-chief. He even had a joke that you can measure how good a person you are by how long it took to re-start masturbating after 9/11 (punch line:… Read more »
I’m 68 and still JO 2-3 times a day. Constantly horny. If I had a partner, his cock would be raw from my use. Married here and wife no longer has interest. That’s OK. Now I prefer to be the one being fucked.
Mmmm….wouldn’t mind to have you constantly. Sex is good and nothing wrong with that.
I am with you on the one being fucked. If I could find a regular partner, I would not have worry about JO so much. I could just lay on my back with legs up and let my man enjoy my hole.
Just months from 63, myself. It is said, it’s a sign of good physical overall health, at our age.
Who doesn’t get tired of yet another picture of a mostly naked, built, young, White guy!
It was when I had 5 guys in a single week last month that I realized I had a problem and needed to restrain myself lol. My drive for years would come and go but this year it has felt like I’m a teen again, I’m in my later 30s now, old in the gay world lol.. but I made some adjustments, got in better shape, confidence is high in some abilities and I’ve taken advantage of it this year… but at certain point I felt like I need to slow down or at least narrow the partners… I was… Read more »
I am 65 and horny all of the time. I recently had my prostate removed due to cancer and cannot get an erection or cum! I thought that would have cured my enthusiasm for cock!
It hasn’t at all!! I absolutely love sucking cock and swallowing a nice load! I have discovered that I can still have the sensation of an orgasm while jacking off, even though my cock doesn’t get hard!!! The orgasms are fantastic!
Awesome, Terry! There’s so much more to being sexually active and satisfied than general scuttlebutt allows. Satisfaction is a two way street, always far beyond the bounds of “getting MY rocks off.”
Personally, I love experiences with partners that let me focus on “making their day.” Often those experiences are outside of either of us checking the customary boxes about “Sexual Encounter MUSTs.
You can laugh “all the way to the bank” while others bemoan “I just can’t find a man to make ME sexually happy.”
There is always the “Final Solution”…Porn!
I have a couple of friends in your situation. I actually love to suck a soft cock rolling it around with my tongue to give be them the orgasm they long for.
Hornet…….I give 45 bj’s a month
How many do you GET?!? 🙂
I’m 64, in great shape with no shortage of willing sex partners. Unfortunately opportunity usually exceeds interest. I thought this was a decline in libido due to aging. But I find horniness comes roaring back when I’ve taken an edible and bust out the poppers. So I think what’s happened is the years have made men less appealing to me as people due to various bad experiences. I think a lot of gay men are pretty shitty people. Though i’m often told I’m hot, I feel self conscious about my age and physical shortcomings. I have to really coach myself… Read more »
This is the result of over-indulgence and I say a failure to mature emotionally, by limiting sexual contact to mere physical expression. Because your heart is not in it, your interest is not renewed. Relying on drugs should be a warning sign to you. Is sex really worth dying for?
Years ago when, early in my acting on being Gay and having sex regularly with men, I had a business trip to a city a couple of yours away by car. I met with one guy at his home in a town along the route, one guy the first night in my hotel room, another guy there the second night, another guy at his home in that city the third night, and another at his home in a town on my way back home. Sex with each guy was great! We had chatted before the trip so we had laid… Read more »
Question is “Do you feel horny all the time” – short answer is yes. Long answer is trying to find a regular partner who likes to hookup regularly and is into NSA type sex. Since I am a bi married bottom, trying to arrange a meet is difficult.mostly from not being able to host or time issues.So with that, Are you horny? Right now I love to be in a guy’s bed in missionary getting pumped with his hard dick being his fuck toy.
I am also a bi married bottom, but I can host, as my wife knows and understand my needs in this area. My desire for her is not diminished, as she provides what a man does not and vice versa. My horniness involves desiring a shaved cock to suck, or giving a woman pleasure with my tongue. (I’m Poly also) It’s nice to see so many older guys on here (I’m 69). Guilt has never been a part of my sex life.
Compulsive masturbation is 5-6 times a day! Even twice a day is normal. It depends on your hormone levels. But sexual attraction is a means of obtaining love. Love should always be your goal.
I’m 66 and all I think about all day is sucking the cocks of the men around me.
I’m 64 and I jack off at least 5 times a week
Nothing wrong with being horny. I’m 64 and still am horny and jack off at least 5 times a week.
As a friend said to me when I survived being resuscitated three times in five days and literally quit breathing and qualified for dead and then I was back; He and another friend who had the same experience I did only with his heart both know and now realize, “we aren’t getting of here alive.” If you see a chance, take it. If you find romance, even if it self-love or one-sided love giving another guy pleasure or any other variant that takes off the edge, do it. (Nike swoosh inserted here in lieu ability to post graphic). The logo… Read more »
We’re all different in terms of sex drive, testosterone levels, sexual imagination. Most men sexualize what they see and fantasize about doing this, that and that other thing with attractive men/women in the workplace or especially at the gym. Unless you are letting the tail wag the dog, I wouldn’t worry despite the Mayo Clinic’s fear of compulsive sexual behavior (remember we live in a Puritan country where sex is often seen as unhealthy and gay sex is seen as perverted). At 32, you should be having sexual thought and actions — these are peak years. It doesn’t seem that… Read more »