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For tops out there, what do you think it is that bottoms want? What is it do you think, that they like during sex or what, do you think, are they looking for from tops? Conversely, for bottoms out there, what, for you, makes a good top?
We’ve scoured the net and here are some of the popular answers to this question, and we quote:
- Listening and being highly attuned to one’s partner’s needs are the key to being the best top in the bedroom;
- Consent, whether verbal or nonverbal. A top should be able to “pick up on his (bottom’s) silent and sometimes not so silent cues, you can learn what he likes and doesn’t like,” one Redditor advised. He added:
Usually, a bottom wants a top who’s dominant but understands and respects boundaries, sometimes knowing when to push and when to stop. It’s not always about throwing guys around or forcing them on their knees. It’s also about making him relinquish some of his power to you and in doing so, feel a bit powerless.
- This is probably the most popular answer: lube is essential. Use lubes, lots of it. Adam4Adam Store has a great selection of lubes, whether you’re looking for a silicone-based lube, an enhancement lube, a desensitizing lube, a water-based lube, or an oil-based lube, you name it, we have it!
- Communication is the key, says a lot of respondents. A particular Redditor advised and said that communication is “now a big key to being a good top.” Further, he explained in detail: “Ask if it feels good, or if it hurts or anything you think that will help you and your partner enjoy it more.”
- Another respondent advised: “Don’t freak out if there is mess it can make a bottom feel super self-conscious and bad and it sometimes just happens.”
- Foreplay! And lots of it, why? Because foreplay makes sex hotter and enjoyable. It also lowers inhibitions and makes the two of you “feel more connected in and out of the bedroom.”
What about you, guys, what do you think make a good top? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below!
Also paying attention the the bottoms body language and understanding that it’s not just about you (the top)
I like a top who takes his time. Who knows its not all about him getting off. Who enjoys exploring my body with his tongue his lips his hands and not just his dick. A top who enjoys taking control. Who knows and likes that i want to please him. Who makes sure that i am ultimately as satisfied as he is . Who likee to lay and cuddle and talk in between fucking. Not a top who is up and has his pants on before ive even opened my eyes !
Well said
As primarily one who has long ago in the past (flip-fucked) so I know what it’s like; it depends on the dynamic, are we talking about as in a relationship/couple or just a fuck? Either way, one whom is considerate, wants to please you the bottom as well. This is why in the last thread: “what’s you favorite position?”, “Any position that allows for eye-contact.” You’ll see everything in each other’s eye’s and most often the reactions of their bodies.
I was a great Top. But now at 65, I’m an old guy with lots of great memories. Not such a great Top anymore, but now I’m just glad I’m still alive and very healthy ! 48 years ago I was a great Bottom, I would walk into a room of men and the whole place would become silent. Every where I went, the hottest men would screw me silly and I loved it. Even then, I also loved to top but rarely got the chance, because the vast majority of guys I met, wanted to screw me. But by… Read more »
Clyde- I’m a longtime top but nowhere near the kind of champ of a top you are. In fact, I’d say I’m admittedly a lousy top. Now 61, over the past 10 or so years I find that as soon as I put the condom on, I sometimes go limp and frantically have to jack myself to get hard enough. It can be very frustrating for not only me, but of course my bottom, who’s squatted there below me, ass spread and all. I take viagra and still sometimes have trouble getting hard enough. That’s not to say this happens… Read more »
Matt- I gave up condoms in 1988 after 5 years of misery using them. I only ever came ONE TIME, while using them. So not only did I have a hard time staying hard, I never came either. I am fairly disease resistant but not disease proof and every 5 years or so I would get some STD. This caused an issue because I acquired a partner in 1994. So I improvised and came up with a solution that has worked for me. I used a very long straw to blow a little Hydrogen Peroxide up my dick soon after… Read more »
Clyde, we’ve obviously taken different turns in life, but that makes ballgames, right? Being married to my wife for all these years, I have to take the extra mile to make certain I can’t be getting any sorts of STDs, so I’ve never tried any of what you have in your reply above. But we may have a couple of things in common: Interesting you mention holding off coming for a week, because I do that. I edge myself to pornos throughout the week, then let loose on weekends – and after I’ve vaped some weed (smoked some flower too),… Read more »
You got multiple STD’s and you still engaged in sexual practices that are extremely risky? Guess you never learned that a 5-10 second orgasm isn’t worth several weeks on antibiotics or a lifetime on anti-retrovirals.
Very detailed I just had to say that
There is an old adage “Sex is like money–the people who really have it, don’t brag about it”… But whatever… Still, 8000 “fuck tubes”…? How.. charming. And never even once asking “May I?” Even more charming… (when you do that to a woman it’s called “rape” you know) But it’s good to know that the secret of living a “life of freedom and abundance” is having a “beautifully shaped 8″ dick” and fucking a PhD… I’m sure knowing that will make me a “good top”, so thanks for the ‘tip’!
I’m so sorry to not be a vagrant pooping on the sidewalk, to receive your approval and “compassion”……
Stud Clyde? Laugh my ass off you extremist prick…you suck as a bottom and suck as a top…watching porn and jacking your micro dick to 8,000 porn videos…not 8,000 men…you are a lying sack of STD shit!
Circular motion hips who can use his muscular legs to penetrate while intensely deep kissing and relentlessly pounding while staying hard for a long time (like more than 20mins) = Dream Top
When I was 55, I had my longest fuck, 24 hours! He was a regular bottom that we both had a thing for long fucks and kept pushing the limit. 5 hours first, then 8 hours, then 14 hours and finally 24 hours. But but in a couple of years, I was down to 1 hour tops. At 57 you really start to age much faster. Now at 65 years old 20min is “good” for me. But back in my forties, I could plow rock hard for 3-4 hours on a regular basis. My sling in San Francisco was very… Read more »
I don’t want my top to fuck me for 24 hours.. a good 15 to 20 minute fuck is nice.. then we can talk and have a drink and get to know each other.. then fuck again…
You are in the minority….. at least in San Francisco.
24 hours? Yea ok
Super Clyde again! Fucking 24 hours? What kind of hilarious fantasy world are you hallucinating in, micro dick?
A world of abundance you seem to be unable to even comprehend……
great storyteller
Less lube!!! Don’t get me wrong, lube is great – in moderation. Too much makes for an encounterr that it overly gushy. The top should gauge his partner’s comfort level when initiating pentrating and take things as a pace that is comfortable or both partners.
Be great at eating ass! I’ve been with some tops with huge dicks, but they loved to rim. Indeed, I’ve found that tops with really big dicks know they have to rim and do it well to make it pleasurable for the bottom. Lots of foreplay and rimming made it more pleasurable to bottom. I’ve bottomed for 9″+ guys who loved to rim, and it was much more comfortable and pleasurable than a top who was 7″ or less and didn’t rim.
Rimming is the secret to plowing most any guy. If you get them turned on with a good rim job, they can’t wait to take that dick !
Clyde, your comments and experience are fascinating. Would enjoy hearing more. I was late in enjoying gay sex, started in my 40s. Now 60, I am all bottom, and love to get fucked. That moment when pain becomes intense pleasure is the the best. For me a top is great when he can stay very hard, is a good kisser, and cares for both of our pleasure. I am fortunate to enjoy a man that is all that. His cock is amazing, as soon as we kiss, he gets very hard and stays that way. And has a beautiful 8”… Read more »
Not your micro dick, Stud…ROTFLMAO
I love a dominant verbal take charge top guy,it makes me want to be submissive for that guy I live role play and a little danger and intreage.I love being nakked door unlocked for you to come in and find me nakked on the bed face down,ass proped up and vulnerable ,guys live that as well.It takes the awkwardness out of a first time sex play date.I also love when they stay inside me after cumming.The straighter the guy,the quicker he is to pull out and leave.I ve hung,but it’s not always about the size,some of the best ones were… Read more »
I agree with lots of foreplay and a I enjoy a lot of afterglow play as well. Make sure your bottom partner knows that you want him to enjoy it as much as you want to enjoy it. Sex is a shared experience. I do like a man who takes charge and I’m fine with things a little rough, but at least remember that I’m there. Don’t make me feel like a “any port in a storm” hole just to be used for your pleasure. Yes, I am okay being your bitch and you can work me over good, but… Read more »
I think the most important things to being a good top is being about able to maintain a good firm erection during the entire session and the ability to control premature ejaculation. Also I think foreplay, excellent kissing technique, good personal hygiene, stamina and creativity are important in being a good top.
The bullet points are all great guidelines to follow regardless of what position may be exclusive for you or wherever you choose to be randomly. Especially during the first few meetings.
Interestingly, the article leans toward the belief that Bottoms are generally submissive to Tops. So not so according many Bottoms who on A4A have said they are the dominant ones in their sex play.
Oh, sure, I’ve topped while sitting on their dicks; facing my lovers a few times, pining them (I’m always larger-stronger) loved to guide it in, clamping-down, tightening-squeezing-moving up and down. You can still dominate even while he’s in you, if you’re on top.
Paying attention to details and a commanding demeanor with constant kisses and caresses will do
a big dick makes a good top…
all anyone had to say. periodt!
All the bullet points in the article is exactly what I do as a Top. If my bottom boy is pleased, then I am blessed and very satisfied… the both of us
I prefer the missionary position, facing my top, kissing, making out! Feeling him deep in me, caressing him with my hands and sphincter muscle, and seeing his face as he cums. Nothing better!
I have a question to throw out… what is the best way to clean out for anal sex? I have had inconsistent results with an enema.
A top should be direct, listen and know their boundries of the bottom. I enjoy both positions and communication is key. Know what you want, tell or show what you want. I will put someones hands where I want them to focus. Topping is about giving pleasure. Guys who want nothing but size and penetration are missing so much. Sex is mental, make it comfortable and safe. Hands, mouth, teeth it’s a full body immersion. Sex is physical, sweat, spit, all good if the agreed to. Topping is about edge control, don’t cum without permission. Control the journey. Topping is… Read more »
I have been a total bottom for many years and have only topped a couple of times. Being a top is just not for me. I love pleasing men and making them cum. To me, what I like most out of a top is when a guy can add some passion into our time together. Some guys dont like to kiss and I guess I understand that but I also kind of don’t. I’m bi/married/discreet and when I hook up with a guy I enjoy kissing and touching. It makes me more comfortable and able to relax with him, makes… Read more »
As a bottom I like a top that is passionate and takes his time, foreplay, kissing, fingering, are all great too but slow passionate fucking not fast and hard is what pleases me
Good top has a nice cock big thick nice loads and knows how to use it in a guy ass and mouth