(Photo Credits: Chinmay Singh from Pexels)
Some of us may have spent years being in denial while others were waffling but what was that one moment when you realized or accepted that you were gay?
One guy who asked this on Reddit said:
So you may have known you were gay for years but ignored it until the evidence got to be too much. For example, I noticed my Instagram feed was full of shirtless men, my IMDb page viewing history was mostly male actors, and let’s not mention how fast TikTok figured out I was gay. There was no denying it at that point.
One of the many gay men who responded on the thread said, “When I used to pay more attention to dudes in straight porn.” Another guy shared:
So basically, I was reading an NSFW story. And, despite all the hot details, the main couple was so fucking adorable I’m not even joking! When, whilst reading this, I wanted to honestly have a relationship like that it’s the moment I just couldn’t deny the fact any longer. It wasn’t a fetish out of boredom, I wanted an actual relationship with another man.
Meanwhile, here are some of the popular answers on the thread ad we quote:
- When my friend dared me to kiss a guy and I did it as a joke. Then, later that night I went to third base with said guy.
- The men’s undergarment sections of clothing stores.
- When I watched Blue Lagoon and saw Christopher Atkins…. I couldn’t take my eyes off him and watched the entire movie hard as hell.
- I’m bi so it was pretty fucking confusing. I definitely might be gay? Eventually, I stopped trying to quantify things and just went with the flow.
Having said all that, what was your “aha!” moment, guys? Tell us about it in the comments section below!
I knew in Kindergarten.
We would bring our blankets and sit outside the class’ door and I would be thrilled if
an when
another boy or boys would ask to sit with me.
Never had an “Epiphany” or a “Revelation”. I just knew that I enjoyed the company of boys.
Once puberty began, I became increasingly more comfortable with the idea and the eventuality of
playing with a boy’s penis
On day, at 16, I did play with a penis and that was that. NO mental anguish or
trepidations, either.
I went with what was natural and logical.
Hey, Boomer! Just Kidding. For us millennials and older, it was actually pretty difficult. Even for us mamasboys.
I am not a “Boomer” as I was born in August of 1964. I was born on its “Cusp”.
However, it is a “Perpetual Misnomer” that the vast majority of Homosexuals had a difficult
and prolonged acceptance of Homosexuality; I did not, even as a member of “The USMA”.
Yes, I had to be mindful but I knew my “Time and Place” and so, I acted accordingly. I was
graduated in 1985 and went on to serve until I retired at 55.
It is Pride month. A sex/sexuality question limited to Gays is not inclusive. There’s a lot going on in 2SLGTBQ+. Asking only about the G could be seen as biased. (could?) Not a good Social Comment by A4A. How about a less divisive version of this question? Most of us become aware of our gender (biological, physical) early in life. That remains simple for a while until we become aware that there are customary, expected behaviors for “boys” and “girls”. And most of us find that our gender, behaviors, and thoughts line up without question or confusion. For some, gender,… Read more »
This is alphabetization is growing so tiresome….
Remember the old adage?
“When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade”!
Then –
“When life Becomes Overly Complicated By The Creation Of Either New
Words Or The
Unnecessary Renumerations Of The Alphabet, Play Scrabble Or Eat Alphabet Soup!”
I’m really triggered by how no one has a homophobic experience. I’m not kidding. I knew and I denied it to everyone. MOST OF ALL MYSELF. Stop pretending it was easy and you’re a victim. They’re literally mutually exclusive. Look it up, Artificial Intelligence Communist AdBot. Onto kidding. What the actual
2SLGTBQ+…the reason “G” is in the middle is because until recently “G” was the word of choice….Then “L”, then “B” and all of a sudden everyone wanted an indentity…. “The label gay was originally used purely as an adjective (“he is a gay man” or “he is gay”). The term has also been in use as a noun with the meaning “homosexual man” since the 1970s, most commonly in the plural for an unspecified group, as in “gays are opposed to that policy.” ” How about we just use”A thru Z”…pick a letter… any letter will do. By the way….Is A4A really… Read more »
The L only arrives as an anti-male attack by feminists. Most women did not identify with it. They were gay women, and we were gay men, and it included everyone gay. Period. End of story. Lesbians used it as a power grab, because gay men, no wonder, tended to ignore them and they felt “powerless.”
Lesbians in Washington DC had to ban men from their clubs because straight men would beat them. I know this because I was denied entry without my bull dyke boss. FYI, they don’t like gays. Gay men are usually “prettier” and lesbians are mad when they cross a room and figure out you’re a man. True story. On 3 occasions and I was like you’re hitting the Fruit Loop. No one tries to fight you at my club. So, please ban me for telling true stories I actually experienced. You communist lunatics.
I’m really triggered by how no one has a homophobic experience. I’m not kidding. I knew and I denied it to everyone. MOST OF ALL MYSELF. Stop pretending it was easy and you’re a victim. They’re literally mutually exclusive. Look it up, Artificial Intelligence Communist AdBot. Onto kidding. What the actual
Life is 8th grade. Democrats are your friends because they explain no one likes you. Vote for Democrats. You are inferior. Everyone hates you. Vote for corrupt sociopaths because if Aids doesn’t kill you then meth will.
WAKE THE FUCK UP
Was with you until the F word, it’s use an “indicator of a shortage intelligence,” I was once told by a valued mentor. “There are many more colorful, meaningful words to use to bring home a point.”
On a social/dating website designed for gay men it only makes sense to ask a question ( esp. during Pride month) about when you knew you were gay. If you wish, you could stretch/generalize that question to “When did you realize you weren’t exactly straight like your parents/siblings/schoolmates, etc?” But since most of the MEN on this site come here specifically to talk/connect/meet with other MEN it’s kind of silly to assume that EVERY discussion topic will be rounded up to address issues of gender identity/diversity. Plenty of other places to discuss those issues… or maybe during Gay History Month.
On this site, there are many Bisexuals, Transsexuals, Queers, etc. among the profiles. It’s not just a site with only Gay men.Blog topics and posts within them also cross the line into the other letters. The site is far more than just men seeking men.
Not every question or every story or every…thing has to be all-inclusive. Get over it already! This is becoming so tiresome. And enough of the alphabet soup labeling!
A little ‘burnt out” and fed up by the never-ending media discussions about PRIDE and Transgender equality and Safe Haven laws, Transgender policies in schools/universities and Transgenders in sports?
Everything does have to be inclusive … but in ways that are fair, equitable, equal, and with common sense. Not in the aggressive, divisive manners going on today.
Goddamn these insane profiteers. They’re not even homosexuals. They’re hired by Nancy Pelosi’s SF DNC. You people are useful idiots. And you’re like the concentration camp moderators who sewed the pink triangles and gold stars on us. You are shitty people.
You are why people can’t have fun. You’re the left the right wingers talk about. Your psycho babble doesn’t push the conversation forward. It hinders tolerance fosters intolerance, funnels resentment and just totally a buzzkill dont be that guy, thats why you don’t have friends. STFU…please.
Moderators: The first violation list in the Blog Rules is: “– to abuse, harass, stalk, or threaten others, including A4A or bloggers” “STFU” is as abusive it comes. It is a targeted attempt to belittle and humiliate one individual, even if it is followed (as in this case by) “please.” A4A cannot down the road attempt to enforce Blog rules if it does not enforce them on a daily basis and only enforces them as a matter of convenience. Please make a routine, matter-of-fact, routine request of the user of “STFU” to find more suitable, non-abusive words when in disagreement… Read more »
After recovery from what on the surface sure looks like an extremist rant has been achieved, re-read the post. It is middle-of-the-road, and far from Left.
Inclusive of what? A4A is a gay men’s site. We’re homosexual men talking issues that matter to us. I agree; LGBTQ-xyz has gotten out of hand.
I was going thru puberty and was constantly horny. Finally I let myself get picked up by an older man and we went to his place and he seduced and got me naked. It was so hot but I did have regrets after. This was in the early 70’s and I didn’t want to be thought of as gay. I would see him off and on for the next 2 years but still went after girls. Lived in this bisexual state for the next 30 years. Would date women and stay faithful to them the whole time. In between dating… Read more »
I thought I was straight and was working on a college project with a classmate. We finished late and were playing video games at his place
It was my turn and I noticed his hands in his pants like any other guy. I offered to help and ended up going down on him. We dated in secret for almost the entire semester.
Tom, my first male to male experience was when a male class mate and I had a sleep over for my 13th birthday. What he gave me for my birthday was my first blow job. He and I continued for about 4 more years. The rest of your story is almost an exact duplicate of my life. Tom, I am so happy to know that I am not alone, thank you. We should also remember that men have been intimate since before the Greeks and the Romans. F.Y.I., Google ‘The Sacred Band of Thebes’ Gays have always been in the… Read more »
Dan, the more I talk with people the more I find you, I and a lots more have such similar experiences growing up. Almost like a rite of passage but with a lot of experimenting going on. We found our niche and hopefully it’s turned out well for us both.
Thanks for the info on the Greeks and Romans. Love a good gay story and I do love history.
I never found anyone to “play with,” nor any older men, as I wished for.
How validating. I’m so happy you had some happy years. I’ve had to settle for happy moments.
Isaia Washington (formerly of Grey’s Anatomy) discovered the first gay festivals were being enjoyed by Africans before the English “discovered Africa.”
How’s that for culture, where it actually, began, just sayin’ since the two are never mentioned synonymously “Africa and culture.”
He found this out only after he was fired for calling someone on the set a “faggot” Shonda Rhimes wasn’t havin’ any of that kind of stuff goin’ on, on set, not her set production.
Lamar, thank you for the reply. great information, it is a shame our Victorian society has not told us the entire full history.
I enjoyed playing with other boys as early as 4th grade. My friends dad was gay (not that i understood that at the time) but he had dirty magazines that showed guys sucking each others cocks so me and my friend did the same. later about 7th grade me and another friend started jacking off together and that turned into sucking each other and got caught by his older brother. Walked in on us with my friends cock in my mouth. He threatened to tell on us unless i sucked his cock I didn’t hesitate to say yes. He was… Read more »
Mom’s boyfriend gave me head when I was about that age. Started messing with my friends after that and we all just got more into it.
The second his tongue touched my anus!
Too funny dude.
I’m bi wife and I used to watch porn very Fri or Sat nite. Once she said I’ll go get the vids tonight. She was going to play a joke on me. I liked mff . When she came out in a garter and all and put the movie on. I was stunned it gay and bi porn. She laughed and ask how’s it feel now. Well I just watched and got horny and rock hard. She wasn’t happy I was enjoying this new thing. 10 years later and a divorce, I’m on my knees sucking my first cock. So… Read more »
Well, not sure it was an “I’m gay” moment. I’m bi,hereroflexable or what ever you call it. I do love men and women. But I remember in the 70s seeing a black man in my mom’s playgirl magazine. I’m sure I was in 5th or 6th grade. I couldn’t look away. Literally had a lump in my throat. I always played sports, military, law enforcement and would always get aroused by black men. Didn’t have sex with a guy (black uy) though until mid 30s. Really have only been attracted to black men. Not sure why. But indo love women… Read more »
I guess when girls liked me but I didn’t reciprocate… I literally had women in my bed and didn’t try to do anything and they wanted me too.. lol
As I came into puberty, I knew I liked a male character on a TV show. I wished I could be around him. Nothing sexual, as I didn’t know about that yet. Months later, as my male peers began frothing over models’ and actresses’ tits, asses and legs, I’d sit in silence thinking about that actor. My understanding of sex was growing, but I didn’t know about specific acts yet. I thought myself different somehow, but didn’t understand it. And I’d begun to notice other men who caught my eye. As time went on I dated girls, but ran with… Read more »
I think for me it was when I was about 10 or 11 years old and saw footage of Mark Spitz swimming at the 1972 Summer Olympics. The slow motion video of him in his Speedo doing a backwards dive into the pool just about made my eyes pop out of my head! And a few years later, seeing Patrick Duffy as “The Man from Atlantis” had a similar effect.
Oh, yes, my first love, especially because he was Jewish. And now we know he WAS GAY!
What is with the anti semitism
My second “love” was Harry Reems, also Jewish, from seeing him in Deep Throat and wanting to take Linda Lovelace’s place. How dare she complain about it.
When Greg Louganis came out and admitted he had AIDS I had already heard from a swim coach at the Olympics. But the pic of his ass when he hit his head on the diving board was like “who hit what?” It was at least 15 years later but I was like
I had a kissed a girl in high school and felt, “What’s the big deal?” The first time a boy kissed me, 10,000 volts of lightning surged through me and I felt alive in the most thrilling, truthful way.imaginable. I knew.
I knew I was gay the first time I swallowed when I was in seventh grade. I had a friend I fooled around with many times when we spent the night at each other’s house. One night he was especially eager & straddled my chest to fuck my mouth. It was the first time I experienced his orgasm. He busted a huge nut – the taste was foul & salty & there was sooo much of it… he kept squirting & seemed like it wouldn’t stop. As quickly as I swallowed he filled my mouth again. I had to force… Read more »
It was in the 6th grade on the playground. My guy friends were making comments about which girl they were watching they wanted. I however was watching them and thinking I wanted that guy, that one and the light bulb turned on.
And you said that to them? I’m not buying it
I liked boys since early childhood. In third grade I felt boys bodies and dicks if they were into it…three boys in particular liked it. The excitement was unbearably pleasurable. My dick got rock hard all the time, even back then in grade school. I was surrounded by homophobia, so I knew what I liked was frowned upon, but I knew I could not change to hetero. I did not fake it with girls, I just refused to participate in society for the most part. Finally in college I could explore my sexuality with other gay men who liked to… Read more »
Looking at myself in the mirror in my college dorm room and really facing myself, acknowledging that I was the same person as I had always been, but accepting that I was gay and would lead my life that way from then on.
Was always fascinated by cocks, even in my younger years. I sucked off some friends while camping in the tent at night. Couldn’t resist playing with their cock while laying next to them. Took my first in my butt in college and that confirmed it.
Watching Paul Walker and Tyrese “fight”in “2Fast2Furious” when they’re basically rolling around on the ground gave me a raging hard-on and I was literally leaking precum watching the movie in the theater with my friends.
I’m bi and have known for years. I love it.
I’d like to hear from Straights what their “I’m Definitely Straight” moment was.
And, hear, too, from those who present themselves as Straight because that’s their natural identity, when did they know they were Gay, but had no desire “Come Out!!”
Awesome contrary comment. So simple and yet totally profound!
There was no one moment. But the first time Playboy had a photo of a naked man, in a spread on the theme “witchcraft,” which featured a naked couple under a mandragora tree, I could see that his body was far more interesting.
Kind of like the Spring Break issue with a guy mooning and his hairy ass was hotter than 40 sets of tits
I used to play around a little during my teen years. When I got older, I had chance to meet up with a guy who was gay. We got naked and I wanted to have my first real experience having man sex. When I was bottoming in the missionary position, I realized that I was having a good time and knew I was bi. When he finished outside of me, all I wanted to do was suck his dick and knew from then I like cock just as much as pussy.
I posted a comment but they didn’t publish it. Tops are gayer than bottoms. It’s why we’re so single. Masculine bottoms marry women. Save the gate and scroll down. 4 guys say as much.
I’m wondering why all the responses are from bottoms? The tops don’t have aha(!) moments as well? Knowing at age 10 that guys turn u on should be both a top and a bottom thing. Or I would have thought.
My brother was home from college for the weekend and we went out on the boat. His roommate got on in front of me and I saw hair from the small of his back going down his ass crack and thought “why is there hair there?” and got hard. When my friend I’d played with as a little kid asked in 9th grade if my ass was hairy and showed me how hairy his was I instantly got hard and showed him mine was smooth and we beat off several times. And when my freshman roommate bent over and a… Read more »
When I had a cousin and a friend staying over one night, when I was 13 and I ducked my head under the covers and blew the friend, with my cousin laying right next to him…call me a slut, lol
I knew when I was younger when I kept playing with my mother’s dresses and pantyhose and underwear and my grandmother’s stuff i was probably around 8 years old and I would always play with my butt and started playing with dildos and stuff when I was older and then I had a camp up in PA had a guy come over and I suck his cock and I just fell in love and I’ have craved cock ever since and then when I had a guy make love to me and cum in me I just thought to myself… Read more »
. . . I knew, I wasn’t going to “outgrow” this one.
I must have been in my earliest teen years, middle school, I had my first wet dream,
of a classmate, in that same school, a teacher who just drove me wild.
when i was 12 and my cousin fucked me he was 22 and after he left i kept his under wear…
Reading all these comments I see a similar pattern to myself. I was probably 9 or 10 when I started swapping blow jobs with a neighbor kid that was four years older than me. He eventually moved away and that was the end of it until freshman year in high school. A new family moved in. Curtis was a year older than me. Eventually, we started swapping head. That lasted about year until they moved. After that I pretty much didn’t really do anything with another guy. Dated a few girls. Really tried to like the sex but it just… Read more »
When thus guy at work invited me to his house to watch porn his wife was away. He seduced the hell out of me. Lol
When I found myself routinely fondling my drunk-@SS father who would frequently come home and pass out on the couch in his tighty whities. Not proud but no regrets either.
Believe it or not, I was in like 3rd grade and loved playing doctor with my best friend David. I especially liked playing the doctor – and I would slide his underpants down and play with his penis – he would do mine, but with not the interest I had. Nothing until my second year in college and I was at our college pool and a handsome black guy swims up to me – and says would you like to play in the bathroom – I was too scared at the moment (wished I had now!) Later that year I… Read more »
This is my first time responding to one of these polls and my first response appears to have been rejected. Any pointers as to why it might have been??
I knew I was gay when I had a very vivd dream when I was either 11 or 12 years old. I dreamed that I was sucking the dick of a teenage boy I knew who was 6 years older than I was. The dream was so real seeming. I was surprised that I had dreamed it and it seemed like I knew exactly what it felt like to have a man’s erect penis in my mouth, and I liked it and wanted to do it. I did not actually have an opportunity until I was 16 years old. But… Read more »
Early on in my life I knew I liked girls and had many girlfriends (even pregnancy scares). But I also liked tight bubble butts on the boys around me. There was this one kid named Luther who wore these navy blue corduroys and I could not keep my eyes off of his ass. I would even play with him during recess so that I could wrestle with him to press against his ass. From that point forward ass was my thing lol. Although I didn’t have my first experience until freshman year of college, I had an ass fetish starting… Read more »
My moment was many years in the making. As a teenager I was crazy for girls and pussy but I also had desires to orally service guys. I never found an opportunity or the courage to act on that until my early 40s. I met a gay couple happy to show me the way. I struggled with my sexuality from that day until just a few years back. I guess the first time I made out with complete unabandoned
I think it dawned on me the night I attended an all male orgy and was being spit roasted.
I wasn’t done
Anyway.Making out passionately with another man was it for me. The passion, lust and pleasure I felt was so much more than I ever had with any woman. So for me, Gay is a choice. I just prefer sex with men way way more than with women. Also, I find sex with a gay man is much better than sex with a bi man. Gay men are all in.
When I was 12 years old and starting jacking off. I would always cum thinking about being naked and playing with other men. I knew I was a homo from then on. I’ve never thought different since.
I have known that I was attracted to males ever since I was in kindergarten and maybe before then but I can’t remember before kindergarten. I guess the defining point would probably have been when I was buying Playgirl magazines instead of Playboy, but I was looking at whose while I was I was babysitting my coworkers children, as her husband had many just laying around!
When friends asked me to go to a club called, “Charlies West” in East Orange, NJ. I went on a dare and the moment I passed through those doors, I knew this was where I belonged.
I knew in grade school-was very active with boys from 6th grade on, but in denial. Got married to a woman. We spent our wedding night watching a Barbra Streisand movie in the hotel (Funny Lady)…we spent the honeymoon in San Francisco and I was letting a waiter blow me the men’s room at the Hyatt restaurant on the first day of the honeymoon…stayed married for 14 years. If I had to pick a moment that I knew, I have to go with choosing Streisand over sex with her…I am not kidding about this at all.
I want to say buying the soundtrack to Streisand’s A Star Is Born, which I did along with Songbird, however,t I knew when I was young.. Another kid my age came onto me and we never stopped. I also very carefully had to steal my mom’s Playgirls. Man, that made for nervous masturbation. :)-
Was horny couldn’t find a women to suck my cock so said fuck it I’ll let’s guy do it , this young black man answers my ad , whe he shows up to my place he was beautiful I don’t only had sex with him ( my first with a guy ) a sucker his cock and knew from that moment on sucking cock was my best sexual experience I’ve ever had , I came just from sucking him .
I found a gay porn magazine inthe woods when I was 14-the pics of sucking an dfucking made a major impact-When I turned 22 I was getting married in a couple of days and Iwanted to sew some wild oats-Asked the concierge at the hotel where the nearest nude beach was-He sent me to the gay section at Haulover-I was struck by the variety and numbers of nude men sunbathing and kissing. I was trying to oil up my back and tush and was struggling-This older frenchman asked me if I needed ‘elp-I said yes and he walked me to… Read more »
I was 14, there where several of that would routinely jerk off together and one guy was 16 and had a huge cock almost triple the size of the rest of us and I always found my self mesmerized by his cock and the huge load he would shoot. I was get called meat gazer and just laugh it off. one day it was just the two of us and got high then out comes his big cock, i told him i bet you could not fill up a shot glass he laughed and said if i do you have… Read more »
I knew for sure when I was 12 and my best friend and I was fooling around and I was rock hard the entire time.