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Have you ever experienced being a bottom, guys? If so, would you say that this statement is true, that being a bottom is tougher than being a top?
According to other gay men, yes, it is hard. But there were also those who said it’s not, and there were others who answered maybe to the original poster’s (OP) comment that reads:
“Being a bottom is tougher than being a top. Is this true? Like you can’t eat spicy food, you need to fast; you need to be clean AF before having sex etc.”
One guy in particular replied:
Yes this is absolutely true. Tops have no idea what we go through. Constantly watching your diet, constantly having to be a perfectly clean and having constant anxiety about it. Not to mention the money that some of us spend on fiber supplements. I could honestly keep going on but I’m not going to because I could be a top myself but I choose not to be.
But there are also others who said that being a top is harder. A gay man explained:
Nope. Being a bottom is a cinch. Having a clean rectum is easy. Bottoms over-douche all the time. A fiber pill with each meal or glass of water is all I ever do that’s special. Since I’m vers, I can tell you that topping involves erectile function and positioning and is way more complicated and fraught than being the target.
Meanwhile, others say both roles are challenging, just like this one guy who replied that topping is easier to prepare for than bottoming. But he explained that if the top is “actually trying to give the bottom a good experience,” he feels like that “takes certain skills.” He added, “Making sure the bottom is comfortable and not hurting them. Also not wanting to disappoint bottoms from finishing too fast. So I feel like being a great top is harder than being a good bottom. But physically bottom can be more time consuming and demanding.”
Another guy shared:
I think they are both challenging in their own ways. As a top, you have to get hard and stay hard, you have to know how to insert it so as not to cause pain and how to angle it so it hits the right spots, as a bottom, you’ve gotta make sure you’re clean inside and out and know how to properly take a dick, and you also need to participate and not be a dead fish while the top does all the work. It’s a partnership and both have challenges. For me, bottoming is definitely easier, performance anxiety isn’t gonna make my butthole not open up, all I gotta do is relax and let it happen and do my part.
What about you, guys? What do you think? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below!
Neither role is that difficult in my opinion. I’ve had to teach some of my inexperienced bottoms how to douche but that’s easy and there’s rarely any mess at all it they do it properly. As I top I always try to be very sensitive to my partner’s comfort and try to give them as much pleasure as they are giving me. Good sex doesn’t have to be difficult, just don’t overthink things and relax and enjoy it!
In my opinion they both require an understanding. As a vers guy. Clean out sucks, not just for fucking but fisting and rimming. Bottoming takes an effort. It isn’t just about laying there. A skilled bottom moves, opens and flexes his hole muscles in unison with the tops movement. An active participant. Topping requires a certain stamina and some energy, unless one lays on the bed and let’s the botyom do all the work. but it requires no prep, no starvation. An understanding about getting in, angles and communication with the bottom. If you can’t get hard there are toys… Read more »
It’s ironic that The Community demands fluidity when it comes to gender (NO societal demands that everyone be either male or female) and then forces the notion gays be either anal tops or bottoms. No acceptance that some gays may not wish anal sex at all and some may be anally versatile. “You ain’t gay if you don’t fit our narrow model.”
I assert that will be more “Wear & Tear” for a Bottom.
The Bottom receives the end result of the thrusts and the lining of the Anal Cavity is lined with Cuboidal Cells which are less dense and less densely packed.
To eliminate the wear & tear, proper “LF” lubrication must be used to alleviate as much friction as possible while providing the sensation that someone & something is in.
Remember, it is how well the journey goes… not the final arrival.
Being a bottom is the easiest and best sexual release for me. It is a choice to allow yourself to be the object of another man’s sexual lusts and desires, and that is a wonderfully freeing feeling to submit yourself to another I that way. It’s never hard to do something when you love it and are eager to enjoy and experience it.
As a top, I love how you think!!!!
I agree,,I feel as a bottom I’m suppose to submit to my top the same way I want my woman to submit to me,let me have my way with her it makes me feel good,,,so by me being a DL total bottom I let him have total control like a bottom should,,,,and that makes it easier,,,
You could be reading my mind verbatim…as a bottom I know my role; I do not question my purpose–when my top calls on my to serve him, I exist solely for his cock’s pleasure…
I’m personally a bottom and I can tell you that it takes a lot of time to get to know your body so that you can set a routine as to what to do if ur in the mood. I personally have to watch what I eat, make sure I eat plenty of water and occurse fiber! You also have to know how to properly douche and it take years to perfection ur routine! I need time I just can’t say I want to have sex right now and do it! Also anxiety can get in the way and u… Read more »
OF COURSE IT IS……..There are far more, or should I say, MOST gay men are BOTTOMS!
Yes it is harder to be Bottom than Top most times. You have to be clean and be very careful to be ready for you man to Top you at most any time. Watch what you eat and be ready to what he likes and how to handle it. Most Tops think all they have to do is stick his cock in you and have his way till he is satisfied. But is is very much a thing that both have to be in tune with each other for it to work and all to be satisfied.
The bottom makes a greater sacrifice, especially if ff, clean out sucks, plus a stricter diet and eating schedule.
For sex though unless your a lazy bottom or even a lazy top. Both require an effort for great sex. So pretty equal. Sex requires passion and effort.
If a hard on is a tops issue there are toys and hands, topping takes energy, bottoming requires energy and prepping.
My thing is don’t whine about which is tougher. Both positions are great.
Professed Power Bottoms and those who love it don’t seem to feel they are sacrificing anything from posts here.
Obviously being a bottom is more difficult. My ass gets torn up, I have stomach issues after my ass gets fucked and filled with cum, a few times over the years I got hemorrhoids, I watch what I eat or don’t eat knowing I’m getting fucked later, I buy Pure for Men, sometimes no lube is available (especially at quickly bathroom hookups – ya, I’m a fucking slut!) so I have to deal with a sore ass after that, so ya. Bottoming is hard. A top fucks and cums and wipes off his dick and leaves happy.
Bathroom hookups with no lube resulting in a sore ass …. is that tough? Or is it a choice?
Maybe I’m insane here, but I’ve bottomed and topped plenty of times and ended up with a little bit of a mess each time, no matter how “clean” we thought we were. You’re putting your cock in a place where feces comes out. Don’t be surprised when you get shit on your dick. Be a big boy, take it to the shower, wash off and keep at it. If we really need to have a discussion about what role is “harder” then we’ve completely lost the point of sex in the first place in my opinion.
Bottoms have more to worry about in terms of HIV transmission, cleanliness, discrimination (even within the gay community), and damage to the anus/rectum.
For me, being a bottom is harder. For one, there are so many more bottoms then there are tops so finding a to can be a challenge.
I’m always sure that I’m prepared and cleaned out. I enjoy many positions and I always participate in the sex, not just lying there and taking it.
But some tops are so in a hurry and they want to just shove it in and then cum so fast. Some tops are too small, some to big, finding one just right can be difficult. This sounds like the the bears, lol.
Top or bottom, for me fucking is always worth it… I’ve had sex with roughly 8,000 very hot men. Now that I’m 65 and retired, I have lots of great memories. Had a great orgasm plowing my husband last weekend, He is such a great fuck, I had to marry him. It’s worked out great now for 28 years.
We I’m DL bi bottom,,, I’ve always thought men had it hard when women only had to lay there and we had to do all the work,, like hopefully it’ll get hard and hopefully I’ll last long enough to get her off as well,,,,so I feel it’s easy being a bottom,,,,all I gotta do is make sure I’m clean suck his dick witch is mostly my pleasure and be ready to get fucked and ,,,no getting hard and no doing most of he work,,,,,,the hardest part is trying to take his dick so he he doesn’t take it to someone… Read more »
So much harder being a bottom for sure. Bottom here, bottom there, bottom’s everywhere. Where are all the Top’s at?
I think man to man play in bed is great..I loved it.. being a top bring challenges.. but the end result is be patient gentle and the urge to please one another sexually.
I’ve always been 100% top. At my mature age of 50 being fully verse.. I can actually enjoy sex in either capacity being a verse..though my penis size and girth can make a top to flip for me and enjoy my member.
So to answer yesvor no… would not be realistic to some of us that enjoy sex to pleasure each other..
As a Bimarried Bottom, yes, it is tedious with preparing. But in the long run, well worth it for the experience of having a good Top enjoy both rimming me and Topping me. I prefer to be totally clean inside and out. It’s definitely more pleasurable for me as well when I am. Regarding any discomfort, as long as the Top uses enough lube and plays with my hole a bit to get it to open up enough, I don’t find it bad at all.
I certainly do wish there were more “flexible men” that were more creative, sexually speaking. There seems to be way more bottoms that are totally bottoms, period than there are total tops. Yeah, I would think it is a little bit harder being a ‘total’ bottom a least.
I think it’s a little harder to be a bottom, but trust me, it’s more than worth it! You do have to worry about making sure you’re clean, and sometimes there’s quite a number of other bottoms out there all seeming to look for a good top. But, speaking as someone who is pretty much a total bottom, whatever extra effort I have to take is worth it ,from the incredible pleasure I get out of it, and the pleasure I like to give to others.
I can not imagine being a top. I enjoy being a bottom so much
Wow…I find being a bottom is easy…maybe because it brings me so much pleasure. Sure I have to clean and I use a dildo to stretch a bit as I am super tight and I want it to slide in easily. Yeah if I try to do it on a full bladder of stomach…it can be difficult. But the pleasure I derive from having a cock in me is wonderful…and then there is the what they leave behind…so nice
I think it’s harder being a top ,,you got to be ready mentally and physically in order to get hard and maintain an erection,,,, all he bottom has to do s be clean and enjoy sucking and getting fucked,,,Wich s very easy for me
What’s the saying about old peeps? For every old man, there’s three old women? It’s like that with
bottoms, seems like there’s three or four for every top. Personally, can’t say I’m much into the whole
anal sex thing (either way) any longer. Mostly it’s just…easier to watch it on the porn channel of your
choice than it is to actually do it.
I’m 90% top with a pretty 8 inch medium thick dick. I don’t think either position is tough. My 2 partners and I have mutually satisfying, comfortable sex with LOTS of foreplay. We have 3somes sometimes and its always enjoyable with no pressure at all. I avoid power bottoms because its not a track meet. I call it making love and it’s nothing tough about making sweet, passionate, lots of kissing, mutually satisfying love.
Being a bottom is great as long as there is time to be prepared. I myself like to eat lots of fibre and I take ( Supplements at least every second day) so my bowels movements are smooth and regulars. The day of the action. I am pretty much prepared only thing left to do is douching. HOWEVER, If the action takes at the evening/night…I rather NOT to since I have being eating all day and I am not feeling it at that point with a full stomach (same as if one exercise) I would say, communication is key (… Read more »
Here is a question not related,,, I’m a DL bottom that is very dominant when with a woman,,rather it’s with my old lady or a side chick,,is it just me or is anyone else that is very submissive when with a top, ?,, I’m not a crossdresser but most tops I’m with like to put me in panties,,,and it makes me feel so sexy do his happen to anyone else ? And one last thing,,,,, for bi bottoms that have wife’s and girlfriends the only time they get fucked is after you’ve been fucked by a top ? Or is… Read more »
When I was young there wasn’t a problem maintaining an erection or sitting on a hard dick and riding it, or getting my ankles behind my ears and getting fucked in the front seat of a Monte Carlo in McDonalds prk lot. I don’t find one more difficult than the other but they are both more difficult the older I get
As I have gotten older, I find topping to be more stressful and difficult. I am more emotionally wired, so I don’t always get an erection with a guy if I am not connecting with him. When I was younger I had the same problem but it was easier due to biomechanics of youth. I tend to bottom more now, and even then I don’t enjoy it if I am not connected to a person – but it is easier. There is a lot of pressure to perform as a top, especially in hook up culture where bottoms literally undress… Read more »
“I’m more emotionally wired” I so agree, ditto, weather one is top or bottom or flexible, chemistry is a must. It’s about recognizing bad or good people. Which is why I’m very selective, not about race or so much about one’s attractiveness, but something more.