There’s online ghosting, and then there’s ghosting after meeting each other face-to-face and going on a date in person, which brings us to our question: which do you think is worse between the two, guys? We’re asking because we stumbled upon this topic on AskGayMen on Reddit wherein the original poster of the thread asked, “How to deal with being ghosted after meeting?”
Before we dive into his question per se, we would like to answer the questions, “what is ghosting” and “why do people ghost?” first.
Ghosting, according to Wikipedia, is the “practice of ending all communication and contact with another person without any apparent warning or justification and subsequently ignoring any attempts to reach out or communication made by said person.”
As for the why, a survey conducted by BuzzFeed in 2019 showed that people ghosts for the following reasons, and we quote:
- I wasn’t into them – 81%
- They did something I disliked – 64%
- I was in a bad emotional state (independent from them) – 45%
- I was afraid of them – 28%
- I was angry at them – 26%
In addition, counselor Shae Ivie-Williams, LPC, BC-TMH, CCTP, as quoted by Mind Body Green, explained the reason why some people ghosts others:
If someone’s not interested in you or feels like they haven’t invested that much time in the relationship, then they may feel they ‘don’t owe you anything or owe you that ending conversation.’
Meanwhile, psychologist Dr. Jennice Vilhauer – author of Why Ghosting Hurts So Much and Did The Internet Break Love? – said in an interview that “Social rejection can cause the same level of pain that an injury to your body would cause and it’s activated in the same region of the brain.” Further, she shared that studies revealed how taking Tylenol “actually help alleviate emotional pain.”
You’ve heard it right, guys; people who are in “an acute state of emotional pain” can take Tylenol to help ease their pain.
Anyway, Oprah Daily says the best way to deal with ghosting is to “Surround yourself with people who care about you, and reconsider your dating strategy.” They advised against getting even and confronting your ghoster is a huge no-no as well, but most importantly, never ever blame yourself about what happened.
Having said all that, what do you think about this issue, guys? Have you ever ghosted someone after your first date with them? Why or why not? Have you ever been ghosted after meeting them face-to-face? How did you deal with the heartbreak that followed? Share with us your thoughts and stories in the comments section below!