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Hey, guys! We have a regular A4A Blog reader who wants to know if you’ve already experienced being ghosted online – here on A4A in particular. If so, he wants to know what your story is, what you think about it, and what you do every time this happens to you. He said, and we quote:

Hello! I am curious to know how other members handle this particular issue. I am a kind and respectful person and as such refuse to be rude to someone who says hello or sends a smile.

 Often times I encounter rude and disrespectful people who are nothing but nasty personalities and mean to me for no reason. For example: someone says hello and starts a conversation. Four to 5 messages in you notice the replies are further and further apart. Soon there is no reply so I move on and let the other member know I’m no longer communicating with them.

First question: What do you say to someone who does this to you? Second: How do you handle the rude and sudden shut down or ghosting that is associated with this behavior? Third: Why are we as gay individuals often so rude to one another when all we want is a little company and/or affection to make us feel better? Society has already given us as gay men and women a ton of hate as it is. Why inflict further hatred? Is belittling each other some form of inferiority game to make you feel better about your situation? Any insight would be greatly appreciated.  Thank you.

I think that for online conversations to work, it has to be two-way. We try to ask open ended-questions and avoid, as much as possible, asking questions that are answerable only by a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ because then, the conversation would inevitably fade away. 

On the other hand, if the other party asks us questions, this signals their interest towards us. And of course, we should reply. 

If, however, they don’t ask us questions, we would take it to mean that they either lack communication/ conversational skills or that they aren’t interested about us at all so we move on to the next guy. 

But what do you do with this guy who wouldn’t reply anymore? Do you message them to tell them that you will no longer communicate with them going forward? Or do you just let them be?

Did we get treated impolitely or is it that we already got used to this kind of treatment/happening online that we simply shrug it off every time it happens? Or maybe we think by letting them be, we are just letting nature run its course?

What about you, guys? What are your thoughts on this one? Share it with us on the comments section below.

Having said all that, we have written an article in the past titled, “Dating: Better Ways to Chat on Gay Apps.” It contains some helpful suggestions on how to carry a conversation with the person you fancy on Adam4Adam. 

Happy connecting and make sure to download Adam4Adam app here!

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