If you’re on Adam4Adam, the understanding is you’re looking for someone. There’s nothing wrong with looking for just a hookup or staying single, but if you’re looking for a relationship and nothing seems to be happening, it might be time to do some self-reflection.
Rather than be disheartened by your lack of success, maybe look at the five reasons we’ve compiled as to why you’re still single and see if one of them applies to you. After all, knowing where you need to be better is the first step to getting better.
1. Maybe you like the idea of a relationship more than being in one
This is a hard question you need to ask yourself. Is a relationship, with all its ups and downs, really what you want? Or do you just like the idea of having a boyfriend around because every one of your friends has one? When you’re actually in a relationship, do you find yourself getting bored easily? Maybe what you want are regular hookups, and there’s nothing wrong with that! Once you’ve come to terms with this, it will be easier to not beat yourself up for still being single.
2. You’re afraid of being rejected
No doubt about it, getting rejected hurts. People will understand if you withdraw for a while after a particularly tough rejection. But if you refuse to put yourself out there because you’re afraid of getting rejected again, you’re never going to have the relationship you’re longing for. How can other people find you if you’re keeping to yourself?
3. Your expectations are sky-high
You’re only willing to be in a relationship with a 6’ 9” blond Swede who is also the CEO of a billion-dollar startup, is masculine, willing to pamper you with gifts, and has a nine-inch dick he makes love to you with. It’s a good thing to have standards, but it’s quite another thing to be fully delusional.
4. You refuse to compromise
It’s perfectly okay to have standards when choosing a guy, but it’s also good to be flexible about those standards as well. Maybe the guy who wants to be your boyfriend isn’t earning as much as you’d want. But if you can clearly see that he’s working hard and has ambition, what’s stopping you from saying yes to him?
5. You don’t think you’re good enough
In today’s media landscape, it’s understandable if you’re feeling a little down on yourself. You’re constantly bombarded with images of men with six-pack abs, perfect hair, perfect skin. But it’s something you have to fight against because thinking you’re not good enough to be in a relationship is often a self-fulfilling prophecy. Always remember that you’re good enough and that you also deserve to be loved.
6. Your Adam4Adam profile is not up-to-date
I’m always browsing Adam4Adam in my city and what is striking to me is that many guys have the same profile text, same age, same photos for over 10 years. Guys, people are not stupid, they know that you are not 29 anymore. And that pixelized photo of you holding your daily catch from your fishing trip is not relevant anymore. You have a phone with a camera, uploading a new photo takes 1 minute and modifying your profile text, an extra minute. So head over your profile now, by clicking here, and adjust these elements. Put all the chances on your side.
Adam4Adam readers who have been able to find relationships, what advice would you give to those looking to be in a relationship? Share your advice and stories with us in the comments section below.